Feel Real Good

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  “Naw, I don’t need your help,” Charles abruptly uttered as he grabbed the box from Olive’s grasp.

  “I don’t mind. I can take a couple boxes in. They are not that heavy. Let me help.”

  “I’m sick of your help. Like I wanna be movin’ back in here anyway. I didn’t need your help with the judge, okay? You stuck your nose in where it didn’t need to be. Now I am forced to come back here. And check this out, like my new jewelry?” Charles said in a mean way as he lifted up his pants leg and showed her the ankle bracelet he had to wear for the judge. “I’m on house arrest. You happy, Olive? House arrest.”

  “Alright, man. Back up, dang. You know she ain’t want all this,” Shawn said.

  Charles vented, “You right. I should be mad at both of y’all.”

  “Me?” Shawn uttered quickly, trying to get himself out of harm’s way.

  Charles responded, “Yeah, you. I’m sure you were around here moping, making her feel bad that I was gone. And then she did something stupid ... begging and pleading with the judge to send me back here, and now I’m back. I told you I didn’t need your meddling. I don’t know why you couldn’t have just left well enough alone.”

  Olive felt the tears starting to well up, but she refused to let them fall. If it’s one thing she’d learned from the swoop list and one thing she learned from Tiger, she had strength. And though much had been taken from her—her virginity, her dignity, and even her sanity—she was trying to regain some normalcy in her life. Letting a man get the best of her was no longer in the plan.

  “Fine!” she yelled out.

  “Fine!” Charles screamed back.

  “Okay, you two actin’ like kids,” Shawn said. “Both of y’all know your tail’s happy the judge reversed his decision. And Charles, I don’t care what you say, man. You about to graduate. You droppin’ out of school because you want to take a job? Shoot, please. You better live off the state a little while longer. I can’t go nowhere anyway for fear my gut might pop back open with these stitches that ain’t quite healed. So, it ain’t like you gotta be around here alone, and Olive ain’t got no car to be drivin’. We both can keep you entertained while you on lock.”

  Charles threw down the box and said, “I don’t need her to stay here.”

  Olive put her hand toward his face and screamed, “I didn’t ask to stay around you! I just wanted you to have another chance. I just wanted to fix what I’d messed up. And contrary to whatever you believe, I didn’t need Shawn to make me feel worse than I already did. And, I don’t need you to make me feel any worse than I already do. I’m sorry I screwed stuff up so much. I’m sorry things aren’t perfect, but I’m not sorry that you’re back. And if you don’t ever speak to me again, it’ll hurt, but I’ll be alright. Because in a minute, I’m going to somebody’s college, with or without your trifling, ungrateful behind. Be an idiot, because trying to talk any sense into you is so frustrating.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Bonding (Octavia’s Beginning)

  Octavia didn’t know how to feel. On one hand, she was excited that her dad and Shawn were bonding. But on the other hand, the two of them were bonding so much she was getting squeezed out.

  “So y’all are going fishing?” Octavia asked when Shawn, unbeknownst to her, showed up at her door.

  Shawn smiled. “Yeah, I’m excited.”

  Frowning, Octavia said, “But you two fished last week. And yesterday you were with him, playing on his work’s baseball team.”

  “What? It’s a problem if I hang out with your dad? He said he’d pick me up after work, but Ms. B said it was fine if she brought me over,” Shawn explained. Ms. B was the foster mother at the group home where Shawn lived with Charles and Olive. “So, I thought it was cool if I made it easy for him and came over here. I thought you’d be happy to see me for a minute.”

  “I just get to see you for a minute, and you think that’s okay with me?”

  “So you upset or something?”

  Of all the things to be mad at a potential boyfriend for, Shawn getting closer to her dad wasn’t one of the things Octavia wanted to put on that list. It wasn’t like he was cheating, angry, or avoiding her. She just hated to admit to herself that she was jealous of her own father.

  “Come here,” Shawn said as he put his arm around her shoulder. “You know you’re beautiful, right?”

  “You don’t have to say that,” Octavia said to him, feeling truly self-conscious.

  “Wait, why do you resist when I pay you a compliment? I see your face in my dreams. I just want to put my fingers all through that sexy, fiery-red hair of yours,” Shawn uttered as his hands did just what he said.

  Octavia stepped back. “Sexy? Fiery? Those words are so opposite of me, Shawn. And maybe that’s why my dad is able to take all your attention. Yup, if I had some of those qualities, I could keep your attention better.”

  “Don’t be coy. I never had a male figure who wanted to spend time with me. I’m not trying to take your dad away or anything.”

  “No, no, no. I know he’s always wanted a son. And I mean, he’s been a great dad for me, but tea parties and dolls truly wasn’t his thing.”

  “I’m not trying to play little race cars with him either, Octavia,” Shawn said.

  Octavia could tell by his body language that he was getting upset. He shook his head, folded his arms, and turned away. She felt he wasn’t too happy feeling belittled. She nudged him gently.

  “Ease up. I understand what you’re saying. I would never tell Ms. Davis this because I wouldn’t want to scare her, but she’s been more of a mom to me than my own mom.” Ms. Davis was the school counselor who had been a lot of help to Octavia and the other swoop list girls. “I’m glad that my dad can be there for you. So don’t get me wrong on that.”

  “I guess I’m a little confused as to what you want from me. You say you understand. You say you want attention. But when I give you attention, you think it’s contrived, or you think you don’t deserve it. I don’t know. I guess I don’t know what else to do.”

  “Hey! There’s my partner,” Octavia’s father said as he opened up the front door with much cheer. “You haven’t been waiting on me too long, right? I don’t want to leave you two guys alone in my house.”

  “No, sir. I just got here,” Shawn said as he stood up to shake her father’s hand.

  Her father said, “Naw, I know you’re good. I trust you with my girl. Just give me one sec. I’m going to change clothes, and we’ll be out of here.”

  “No problem, sir, take your time,” Shawn said respectfully.

  Before Octavia and Shawn could resume talking, her father called out from his bedroom. “Octavia, sweetie! Come here for a sec.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Normally it would take her five seconds to walk to her dad’s door, but she was taking her time. She pondered over what to tell him. A part of her wanted to express the fact that she wasn’t pleased with the two of them connecting. But she knew that would be too selfish, so she sucked up her pride and went into the bedroom.

  Her father said, “Come in, hun. You alright with this, right?”

  She was so puzzled by the question. Had she not done enough to hide her true feelings? Did he just know her that well? If she answered truthfully, would he back off? And if he did back off, would Shawn forgive her? She rationalized in her mind and decided that not rocking the boat was the best option.

  After a moment of hesitation, Octavia uttered, “Yeah, Dad. It’s fine.”

  “Okay, because I know we’ve been spending a lot of time together, but you’ve never taken interest to a young man before. I’m excited that this guy is really cool. Of all these jokers around the city of Jackson, you’ve picked a real good one.”

  At that point Octavia was irritated, feeling her father liked Shawn because he pretty much liked everything her father liked. However, she was really surprised when he said, “He’s a good one because he likes you. Can’t stop saying cool things about my Octa
via.”

  She couldn’t help but smile after hearing that. She felt she needed to quit tripping, let go, and let the guys have fun without her feeling some type of way.

  Leaning over and kissing her brow, her father said, “Well, you and I are going to hang out soon.”

  “Okay, Dad, but Shawn is really grateful that he is able to connect with you.”

  “Right. But I know y’all are young, and I know you guys want to have some time. I’ll be out in a minute. I’m sure you can keep him company until then,” her father said as he winked.

  Octavia quickly went out to Shawn. She pulled him close and gave him a big kiss. Neither of them were pulling away.

  Finally, Shawn jerked back and said, “I know your dad is coming, so I don’t want to get caught touching his baby girl. But I hope it was good.”

  “Oh, it was,” she said, melting in his arms.

  “Thank you for sharing your dad with me. I want him to like me because I want him to think I’m good enough for you. I think he approves because of this quality time he and I have spent bonding.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Changing (Pia’s Beginning)

  Much in Pia’s life was a little different from the way it used to be. Her mom was acting more responsible. She had close girlfriends who expected her to share everything. Her high school years were soon coming to an end. More importantly, the police felt they had enough evidence to make an arrest in her rape case. She couldn’t feel too confident because it always seemed to be something. However, she wanted desperately to relax and enjoy the new direction her life was going. So she took a deep breath, smiled, and entered Jackson High School.

  “Where my girls at?” Pia said out loud. “It’s going to be a great day.”

  “It’s not going to be too great of a day,” Kenny, a basketball player, said as he grabbed her arm and yanked her behind a row of lockers.

  “Ouch! Let me go!” Pia grunted.

  Another basketball player, Isaiah, grabbed her mouth, squeezed it tight, and started cussing at her. She started shaking. Her mind raced back to the night of the terrible ordeal, and she became petrified.

  “You listen here,” Kenny said. “We tried to talk some sense into Stephen, thinking he saw what he saw, but he won’t listen to reason. You could ruin us. We trying to graduate ... just like you. You don’t know it was us, do you?”

  Pia knew that she had heard these guys talking in February before basketball practice. She knew that these were two of the voices of the three guys who had bragged about having their way with her. And one of them had even been so bold to say he wanted to rape her again.

  If Pia’s hands were free, she would have slapped them both. She realized her legs were free, so she got herself together and kneed Isaiah in the groin.

  “Ow!” Isaiah buckled. “You take back what you said about us! You stop making false accusations. You know you enjoyed it just as much as we did!”

  Pia and Kenny looked at the guy she’d kneed. Isaiah had just admitted that they were the ones who were with her that night. Kenny got Isaiah up from his crouched position and jammed his buddy up against the lockers.

  Kenny attacked, “How could you let her know that it was us? How could you say it was us? What are you? Stupid!”

  Pia moved to get away. Unfortunately, she wasn’t quick enough. Kenny yanked her long hair, put his hand on her face, and smashed her head back against the locker.

  “You forget what he said. You don’t want this to keep going on. You don’t want to end our lives,” Kenny told her.

  Fed up, Pia spit in his face. “Urgh, you ended the life of my baby! That’s right! I got pregnant that night! The two of you and your other friend took advantage of me!”

  “So you’re pregnant?” Isaiah asked.

  “No ... I’m not pregnant anymore. How could I have a monster’s baby? But you aren’t the only ones who’ve got to worry about your life being different. My life will never be the same. I ended a pregnancy, and it haunts me every day. I can’t even sleep some nights, thinking about how y’all forced my legs apart and laughed while each of you forced yourselves on me! Not even bold enough to show me your faces! I cheer for you at basketball games, for goodness sake! I was in your corner. I’ve heard your voices, and now Isaiah admitted it. You all even bragged about it in school! And yes, Stephen is bold enough to stand up when he didn’t before. He saw y’all. You are not getting off!”

  Kenny was about to punch her when someone yelled, “What are y’all doing?”

  Pia turned to see Ms. Davis coming to her rescue. Before the two boys could run off, Ms. Davis told Pia, “You go on to class. These two are going to the office.”

  Isaiah whimpered, “But Ms. Davis, we were just ... ”

  “Save it!” she said to them.

  As Pia went on to class, she wiped the tears that had fallen. She didn’t mean to become so emotional, but how could she hold it together after coming face-to-face with two of her three attackers? They were kids, just like her, with bright futures ahead. She couldn’t make it easy for them. No way. She wasn’t trying to feel better about putting them away, but she realized maybe justice would make her feel whole again.

  Pia wasn’t looking where she was going, and she stepped on something. It was like a tree limb that broke in half. When she looked down, she saw the broken stem of a red rose. When she bent down to pick it up, she saw more roses all lined up on the floor, leading toward the cafeteria. She heard a lot of commotion that way. She was hungry and could have used a biscuit, but she didn’t want to be around people. She’d just walk by fast and get to class.

  But as soon as she rounded the corner, she saw a group of people standing around some guy who was holding a bundle of roses in his hands. And when the crowd moved away, she could see Stephen’s face. He was pointing with the roses to a poster with the letters P-R-O-M and a question mark on it.

  Prom was the last thing Pia was thinking about at that moment. However, when she looked into Stephen’s eyes, she could see he was so sincere. The tears she’d tried to stop earlier started falling again. She could hear the girls oohing and ahhing and the boys grunting. Dressing up like a princess was such a refreshing thought, particularly with this handsome guy who would not back down this time from saving her honor. So she nodded. Stephen picked her up and spun her around. She was so happy that her day and life had gone from bad to good. Her life was changing.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Fighting (Sanaa’s Middle)

  Everyone was all abuzz. Word had spread around school quickly about Sanaa’s friend, Pia, being asked to the prom so romantically and publicly. The swoop list girls were texting each other.

  “Let’s meet up after school 2 celebrate!” Olive texted.

  Willow texted back, “Yeah! One of our own made all the girls envious. Go Pia!”

  “We need 2 meet up now,” Octavia texted in. “It’s important. Can’t wait.”

  “K on the way,” Sanaa texted back.

  The bell had rung, and Sanaa knew where their spot was located. She just wondered what in the world could be wrong now. As she walked through the crowd of students, people started looking and pointing at her. She knew it wasn’t good.

  As soon as Sanaa saw Octavia she threw up her hands and said, “What is it?”

  Panicking, Octavia grabbed Sanaa and squealed, “They want to fight us after school! Did you hear me, Sanaa? Your girl and her crew want to fight all of us.”

  Frustrated, Sanaa said, “What? I’m not fighting. We’re about to graduate. Nobody is getting kicked out of school.”

  “Look!” Octavia showed Sanaa her phone.

  There was a text from Toni. It read, “The swoop list girls better bring their butts to the park at four. They’re going to show up to peoples’ houses and try to punk them out late at night ... we’re going to end this once and for all and put the sluts in their place!”

  Sanaa was livid. She was angry at Willow for giving these girls the ammunition to keep up
the horrible feud. And she was even more pissed at Toni for being so mean and vindictive. As Sanaa pondered what she was reading, Olive and Willow rounded the corner.

  “Look, y’all! They want to fight us!” Octavia yelled out with idiotic excitement.

  Sanaa thought she was crazy. Octavia seemed scared and yet happy about the pending brawl. Sanaa wanted her to chill.

  “I say we take them down,” Willow said. “We need to shut them up. They sent that text to a bunch of people. We can’t have people thinking it’s okay to mess with us.”

  Olive voiced, “Yeah, I’m getting sick and tired of people talking about us too. We’ve been through enough. We got to end this, and if knocking a heffa in the mouth is what’s going to do it, then I’m ready.”

  “Violence is not going to settle nothing,” Sanaa told them.

  “Well, your butt is going,” Willow declared, looking at Sanaa like she knew she better not leave her hanging.

  “Tell her, Olive!” Willow said.

  Olive nodded and added, “Yeah, Sanaa, this is your girl starting up a lot of this trouble. You got to be there. We’re all in it now. Real talk, you got to lead the way.”

  Sanaa had no clue how she was going to get out of this, but they did have a point. She wasn’t fooling herself. It was her ex-best friend pushing all of this. She couldn’t leave her new girls hanging.

  “Fine,” Sanaa grunted. “After school. Meet me at my car.”

  “That’s what I’m talking about!” Willow yelled. Willow snatched Octavia’s phone and texted, “It’s on. —SLG”

  “What’s SLG?” Octavia said.

  Willow boldly said, “The swoop list girls! They’ll figure it out! Calling people a punk. I’ma show their butts.”

  As soon as the girls walked away, Miles walked up to Sanaa with a box of six cupcakes in his hand.