Confessor

by Terry Goodkind

  “Sorry,” Kahlan said. “I should have thought of that.”

  Actually, she had, but she had thought that maybe it might be worse if she covered Nicci and the sheet stuck to the wounds. She could certainly understand, though, why Nicci would want to be covered.

  Kahlan stretched, caught the edge of the gold bedcover and pulled it up. Ever mindful of the collar, she had to be careful not to let herself get up from the floor.

  “Thanks,” Nicci said as she at last was able to pull the silk cover the rest of the way over herself.

  “Don’t be ashamed,” Kahlan said.

  Nicci frowned a little. “What do you mean?”

  “You should never be ashamed to be a victim. It wasn’t through any fault of yours. The only thing you should feel is anger at such a violation. You didn’t do anything to encourage it. It was rape, just as you said it was.”

  Nicci smiled a little as she touched Kahlan’s cheek. “Thanks.”

  Kahlan took a deep breath. “Jagang has promised to do much the same to me as he did to you.”

  Nicci’s hand tightened on Kahlan’s, offering in turn some solace.

  Kahlan hesitated, but then went on. “The only reason he hasn’t yet is because he wants it to be worse than it would be if he did it now. He told me that he wants to wait until I know who I am. He says that when I remember my past and who I am it will be all the worse for me. He says that he wants ‘him’ to see it. Jagang says that he wants to destroy us both in that way, to destroy everything.”

  Nicci closed her eyes, covering them with a hand as if unable to bear the thought of it.

  “It seems pretty obvious that he has to be talking about someone from my past. Do you know who this ‘he’ is?”

  Nicci’s answer was a long moment in coming. “I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you, or your past. All I know is the things I’ve heard, like your name and that you are the Mother Confessor.”

  Kahlan nodded. She didn’t think she was getting the whole truth. She felt pretty confident that Nicci knew more than she was admitting. Kahlan thought it best, though, not to press her on the subject. At that moment, forcing her to do anything she didn’t want to do seemed too cruel to contemplate. Maybe she had her own reasons for not wanting to say more. Maybe those reasons were strictly personal and none of Kahlan’s business.

  Kahlan smiled, determined to steer away from the gloom of such a dark subject. “I liked all the things you said about Richard Rahl. This Richard sounds like my kind of man.”

  Nicci smiled the slightest bit. “You are both good people.”

  Kahlan rubbed a thumb back and forth on the edge of the bedcover. “What’s he like? I keep hearing things about him. Every time I turn around, in fact, it seems as if the phantom of Richard Rahl is somehow haunting my life.” Kahlan looked up. “What’s he really like?”

  “I don’t know. He’s just…Richard. He’s a man who cares deeply for those he loves.”

  “From what you told Jagang you seem to know how he feels about a great many things. You seem to be there at his side a lot. It sounds like he cares a great deal for you.”

  Nicci dismissed the suggestion with a flick of a hand. She looked over at Kahlan.

  “There are regular soldiers outside Jagang’s tent. Do you know why?”

  The abrupt change of topic told Kahlan that she was probing into things Nicci didn’t want to talk about. Kahlan wondered why not.

  She turned her attention to Nicci’s question. “The soldiers are there because they can see me. Very few people can. Sister Ulicia told Jagang that she thinks it’s just an anomaly. After I killed two of his guards and Sister Cecilia—”

  Her expression intense, Nicci lifted her head a little. “You killed Sister Cecilia?”

  “Yes.”

  “How did you manage to kill a Sister of the Dark?”

  “It was back in Caska, the place where you and Richard saw Jillian.”

  “Who told you that?”

  “Jillian.”

  Nicci’s head sank back down. “Oh.”

  “Jillian said she helped Richard find the Chainfire book he was hunting for down in the catacombs of Caska. That’s also where Jagang finally captured Sisters Ulicia, Armina, and Cecilia. They thought they were going to meet up with Sister Tovi when they got there. As it turned out, Tovi was already dead and it was Jagang who was there waiting for them. They were pretty surprised.”

  “I bet they were,” Nicci said.

  “Like just about everyone else, Jagang’s guards couldn’t see me, so while the dream walker was busy with the Sisters, arguing over a book, I pulled the guards’ knives out of their sheaths. Since they couldn’t see me, they had no idea the danger they were in. As they stood silently watching over their emperor I used their own weapons to run them through.

  “Before they even hit the floor I pushed Jillian out ahead of me into the maze of tunnels. As everyone came rushing out the doorway behind us I threw a knife. I’d been hoping to get Jagang with the knife but it was Sister Cecilia who came through the doorway first. They caught me after that, but it had been enough to help Jillian escape.”

  Kahlan let out a heavy sigh. “In the end it didn’t do any good. Jagang returned to the encampment with the other two Sisters and me, but he sent men to search for Jillian. They finally found her and brought her back.

  “She is Jagang’s way of making me comply with his wishes. He promised me that if I make him angry by not doing as I’m told he will do terrible things to her.”

  “He is a ruthless man.”

  Kahlan nodded. “After what I did, though, Jagang realized that he needed some guards who could see me, so he searched the camp looking for men who could. He found a number of them. There are thirty-eight left.”

  Nicci glanced over at Kahlan. “You mean there were more at first?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then what happened to the rest?”

  Kahlan stared resolutely into Nicci’s eyes. “Whenever I get the chance I kill them.”

  Nicci smiled broadly. “Good girl.”

  Kahlan smiled with her, but then the smile faded. “Now, if I kill any more, it will mean torture for Jillian.”

  Nicci’s expression reflected her concern for Jillian. “Don’t ever doubt him. He will do it without hesitation.”

  “I know. Do you have any idea why there are a few people who can see me when almost no one can? Do you know if it’s really an anomaly, as Sister Ulicia says?”

  “The Sisters used a Chainfire spell on you. It made everyone forget you. Richard discovered that there is a defect in the spell and it—”

  “See what I mean? Richard again, tied up in my life.” She shook her head. “Sometimes I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not.” When Nicci said nothing, she urged her to go on. “So, how did he ever discover the defect?”

  “It’s a long story. Basically, we were trying to find a way to undo the Chainfire spell.”

  “You were trying to help me? But you said you don’t remember me. Why would you be doing such a thing if no one remembers me?”

  When Nicci had to lie back, laboring to breathe, Kahlan said, “Sorry. I know I ask a lot of questions, it’s just that…”

  “We’re trying to stop the damage being done to everyone,” Nicci finally managed after enduring a shiver of pain. “The whole problem is broader than people only forgetting you. The Chainfire spell has tangled us all up in it. If it runs free it could even end life itself.”

  Kahlan silently reprimanded herself for even fantasizing that Richard Rahl had actually been trying to save her, that maybe he knew her and she meant something to him.

  “I was running a verification web,” Nicci said. “Richard saw indications in the spell—unique designs—that told him that it was contaminated. It explained a lot. We need to undo the Chainfire spell because, while it does make everyone forget you, it causes larger problems.”

  “What kind of larger problems?”

  Nicci paused to
draw a few rattling breaths, wincing in pain, before going on. “Since it’s contaminated, the damaging effects of the spell expanded in unexpected ways. We fear that, unchecked, it will destroy the minds of those it has infected. I think that the contamination may be responsible for the spell not working as intended. As a result, there are a few isolated instances of people who apparently aren’t affected.”

  “Why am I at the center of all of this?”

  In the silence Kahlan could hear an oil lamp hissing softly. The sounds of the camp outside the tent seemed like they were in another world altogether.

  “The Sisters used the spell on you so they could send you into the palace, unseen, to steal the boxes of Orden for them. The key to the boxes is a book called The Book of Counted Shadows. They need a Confessor to confirm if the book they are using is the true key to the boxes.”

  “I’ve seen the book,” Kahlan said. She knew that Nicci was telling the truth about that much of it, because Jagang had already demanded that Kahlan confirm if the book was a true copy or a fake. She had proclaimed it a false copy.

  She knew that there also had to be more to it, but for some reason Nicci was carefully dancing around secrets.

  Kahlan pulled at a string on the bedcover. “I wish I could talk to Richard Rahl. I wonder if he might have answers for me.”

  “I wish you could meet him. But that now seems unlikely to ever happen.”

  Kahlan wanted to ask if it had actually been likely until recent events. She thought that maybe Nicci had just revealed more than she thought she had, or had intended.

  “I hate to say it, but I think that you and I are not ever going to be able to see the outcome of this struggle, but do you really think that Richard Rahl is going to be able to stop this madness? For other people, I mean.”

  “I don’t know, Kahlan. But I can tell you that he’s the only one who can.”

  Kahlan took up Nicci’s hand again. “Well, if he can, I hope he can rescue you. You should be with him. You love him.”

  Nicci squeezed her eyes closed. She turned her face away as a tear leaked out, tracing a slow path through the splotches of dried blood.

  “I’m sorry,” Kahlan said. “I shouldn’t have said anything. You must miss him beyond endurance.”

  “No,” Nicci managed as she rocked her head, “it isn’t that. It’s just that what Jagang did hurts, that’s all. I’m having trouble breathing. I think my ribs are broken.”

  “They are,” Kahlan said. “Some of the ones on this side, anyway. I heard them crack when he punched you there. If I’d had a knife I’d have castrated the bastard.”

  Nicci smiled. “I believe you could do it, Kahlan Amnell. It’s too late for me, but if you get the chance, do it before he starts in on you.”

  “Nicci, don’t give up hope.”

  “There’s not much cause for hope.”

  “Yes, there is. As long as there’s life, there’s the potential that we can change things for the better. After all, didn’t you or Richard put the boxes of Orden in play?”

  “I did,” Nicci said. “In Richard’s name.”

  “What are these boxes, anyway? Why is there a magic power that is just meant to be able to, to, I don’t know, vanquish all opposition and rule the world?”

  “That’s not their intended purpose. They were created as a counter to the Chainfire spell.”

  Kahlan realized, then, that Richard Rahl must have been trying to help her. Even if he was now trying to save others from the effects of the spell, he hadn’t discovered the defect that was causing that damage to other people until after he was already trying to figure out how he could restore Kahlan’s memory.

  Having difficulty breathing, Nicci fell to a fit of coughing that was obviously agonizingly painful. She started gasping for air. Kahlan could hear the rattle of fluid in her lungs. Nicci was beginning to panic with the unsuccessful effort to breathe. She gripped the bedcover in her fists and her back arched as she tried desperately to pull a breath.

  Kahlan quickly pulled the bedcover down a ways and placed a hand directly on Nicci’s upper abdomen. “Nicci, listen to me. Breathe to my hand. Slowly.”

  Nicci’s confused eyes sought Kahlan’s but she couldn’t speak through her gasping attempts to get a breath. Tears began to flow.

  Kahlan gently rubbed her hand around in a small circle, speaking as calmly as she could. “Slow down, Nicci. Focus your mind on my hand. Feel where it is. Pull your breath slowly and evenly toward it. You’re going to be fine. You’re trying to breathe too fast, that’s all.

  “You’re not alone. Everything is all right. I promise. Take slow breaths and you’ll be able to breathe just fine. Let them reach down toward where you feel my hand.”

  Kahlan could feel Nicci’s heart galloping under her hand. She continued to rub slowly and talk in a reassuring voice.

  “Everything is fine. You can get plenty of air if you just let yourself slow down and take it in.”

  Nicci watched Kahlan as if hanging on her every word.

  “You’re doing good. You’re all right. I won’t let you die. Just think about my hand. Let your breath reach down to my hand. Slower. Slower. That’s it, easy…easy. That’s it. You’re doing good. Just think about my hand and keep breathing slowly.”

  Nicci’s breathing slowed. She seemed like she was at last getting the air she so desperately needed. Kahlan continued to gently rub Nicci’s abdomen just below her ribs and to urge her to slow down. The whole time Nicci tightly held Kahlan’s other hand. After a short time the crisis passed and Nicci was more comfortably getting her breath. She needed more help, though, than Kahlan could offer her. She wished that a Sister would arrive.

  “Look, Nicci, we may not get a chance to talk again, but don’t give up. There’s a man here who I think is going to do something.”

  Nicci swallowed as she regained her equilibrium. “What are you talking about? What sort of man?”

  “He’s a Ja’La player. He’s the point man on a team belonging to Commander Karg.”

  “Karg,” she said with disgust. “I know him. The things he does to women are more vile in their invention than Jagang. Karg is a twisted bastard. Stay away from him.”

  Kahlan arched an eyebrow. “You’re saying that at the next gala ball if he asks me to dance I should decline the offer?”

  Nicci smiled a little. “That would be best.”

  “Anyway, there’s something about this point man for Commander Karg’s team. He knows me. I can see it in his eyes. You should see him play Ja’La.”

  “I hate Ja’La.”

  “That’s not what I mean. This man is different. He’s…dangerous.”

  Nicci frowned over at Kahlan. “Dangerous? In what way?”

  “I think he’s up to something.”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know. He doesn’t want anyone in the camp to recognize him.”

  “How in the world would you know that?”

  “It’s a long story, but he found a way around anyone recognizing him. He painted his face in wild designs—with red paint—along with the faces of all the men on his team.” Kahlan leaned closer. “Maybe he’s an assassin or something. It could be that he’s intending to kill Jagang.”

  Nicci closed her eyes again, losing interest. “I wouldn’t get my hopes up about such a thing if I were you.”

  “You would if you saw this man’s eyes.”

  Kahlan wanted to ask Nicci a thousand questions, but she heard voices beyond the doorway coming closer. Then she heard a woman outside dismiss a slave.

  “I think the Sister is coming.” Kahlan squeezed Nicci’s hand. “Be strong.”

  “I don’t think—”

  “Be strong for Richard.”

  Nicci stared, unable to speak.

  Kahlan hurriedly scooted away from the bed. The covering over the doorway opened and Sister Armina stepped through, pulling Jillian in behind her.

  CHAPTER 26

  “Well, what do you
expect me to do?” Verna asked as they marched past a smoking torch in an iron bracket. “Pull Nicci out of thin air?”

  “I expect you to find out where she and Ann went,” Cara said. “That’s what I expect.”

  Despite the Mord-Sith’s innuendo, Verna wanted to find Nicci and Ann as much as Cara did. She just wasn’t as vocal about it.

  The red leather outfit Cara wore stood out like blood against the virtuous white of the marble walls. The Mord-Sith’s mood, which seemed to match the color of her outfit, had only gotten worse as the day had worn on and the search had turned up nothing. Several other Mord-Sith followed some distance back, along with a contingent of the First File—the Palace Guard. Adie was not far behind while Nathan was out by himself in the lead.

  Verna understood Cara’s feelings, and in an odd way was cheered by them. Nicci was more than Cara’s charge, more than a woman Richard had wanted Cara to protect. Nicci was Cara’s friend. Not that she would openly admit as much, but it was clear enough by her smoldering rage. Nicci, like Cara herself, had long been someone lost to a dark purpose. They had both come back from that terrible place because Richard had given them not only the chance to change, but a reason to.

  It wasn’t so much when a Mord-Sith shouted and yelled that alarmed Verna, it was when their questions became quiet and terse. That was what lifted the hackles on the back of her neck—when it was clear that they meant business, and the business of Mord-Sith was not at all pleasant. It was best not to find yourself in the way of a Mord-Sith when she meant to have answers. Verna only wished that she had them.

  She understood Cara’s frustration. She felt no less anxious and bewildered at what could have happened to Nicci and Ann. She knew, though, that repeating the same questions and insisting on answers would not produce those answers any more than it would produce the two missing women. She supposed that Mord-Sith fell back on their training when there seemed no other solution.

  Cara stopped, hands on hips, and looked back down the marble hallway. Behind them a few hundred men of the First File slowed to a halt so that they wouldn’t overrun those in the lead. The echo of boots on stone slowly dwindled to a whisper. Several of the soldiers had crossbows with red fletched arrows at the ready. Those arrows made Verna sweat. She almost wished that Nathan had never found them. Almost.