Bloodguilty

by K. M. Penemue

  "Sure you're going to make it long enough to find a hooker?" Miki asked, wiry arm looped around Casimir's waist to keep him up and walking.

  "Let's hope so," was his grunted reply. "Stop for a minute. I need to catch my breath." Breathing wasn't actually necessary for him, but his ribs were still sore from Lilin breaking them. Catching his breath was an easier explanation than telling Mikki his ribs were grating together. He hadn't gotten nearly enough blood for them to heal completely.

  Mikki stopped and leaned Casimir against the front wall of a drug store. It was open, and the shape of a green cross from the sign blinked over Mikki's face. "How the hell are you even still alive after yesterday?"

  "It's hard to kill a vampire. We can live and heal as long as we still have a brain and a heart," Casimir panted, trying to collect his thoughts. "Staking only puts us down for as long as it's in—the heart has to be destroyed for us to die, or it'll heal. Or if we starve to death."

  "Good to know." Mikki touched the cheek that'd been scratched earlier. "I don't even feel it. That's pretty damn amazing."

  Casimir nodded, exhaling a slow, shaky breath. The licking fire of starvation was searing his veins. If they didn't find a streetwalker soon, he was going to have to tell Mikki to run away before he lost control. He was already starting to fray around the edges. "Let's keep moving."

  Mikki took hold of him again, and they lurched into motion, passing a dark building with boarded-up windows and a weapons store guarded by an iron fence and speaker on the gate.

  When they drew closer to the next dark building, Casimir said a silent prayer to whatever god looked out for vampires. A man who looked around Mikki's age was leaning against the alley there, wearing faded jeans that hung low on his hips. He was shirtless, showing off his lean, muscled torso but had a hat with a bill pulled down to hide his eyes.

  "That looks like a rent boy to me," Mikki said before Casimir could open his mouth. He stopped and leaned Casimir against the wall again. "You look like shit, so let me talk to him."

  Casimir wasn't going to argue. He watched as Mikki approached the boy; he lifted his head and stood up straighter, stretching with his arms above his head to make his muscles flex. They talked, but it was too quiet for Casimir to hear more than mumbles, and then the boy finally looked at Casimir. He blanched, and Casimir could see then that he had freckles across his nose.

  Mikki turned around and headed back, the streetwalker in tow. The streetwalker's eyes grew wide as he looked at Casimir, stare fixed on his mangled shoulder.

  "Hey," he said around a swallow. "I'm Treven. So, uh, your friend tells me you need some blood… You really a vampire?"

  Instead of speaking, Casimir smiled wide, showing his fangs. If he were in his right mind, he would've never made such a threatening gesture.

  Treven flinched but held his ground. "That's cool, but uh… I'm going to have to charge you extra for that 'cause it's pretty out there for me. You're not gonna kill me, are you?"

  "No," Casimir growled. It took all of his self-control to not grab Treven and sink his fangs deep into his throat.

  "I'm gonna make sure he doesn't," Mikki added.

  After looking around the street—there was no one else around—Treven's eyes came back to Casimir. "Okay," he said finally, reaching into his pocket to pull out a credit reader. "You got a place you want to go or—?"

  "Here's fine," Casimir interrupted, shoving a card into his hands.

  "In the alley," Mikki said, with one arm on either of their wrists and pulling them in that direction. "Never know who's watching."

  While Treven fumbled with the credit reader, Casimir ground his teeth. He looked at Mikki, hoping that his expression showed how far out of control he was. Mikki's brow furrowed, but he nodded slightly.

  "Okay." Treven put the reader back into his pocket and held out the card. "So where—?"

  Casimir grabbed him by the arm and yanked him closer, teeth immediately clamping down on his wrist. Treven let out a short shout of pain, but Casimir could barely hear it. The burst of blood that he so desperately needed flowed over his tongue, so sweet in his starvation that his legs gave out, and he collapsed to kneel on the ground, desperately sucking on the veins.

  The rest of the world faded for Casimir, until the only things that existed were the wrist between his teeth and the hot liquid trickling down his throat. He had the faint sensation of a fist being driven into his shoulder, over and over, but it wasn't enough to make him stop.

  A pair of hands wrapped around Casimir's throat, cutting off his air and dragging him away from the precious source of life, throwing him to sit against the opposite wall. He blindly grabbed his attacker by the shirt, but the frantic bloodlust was waning, and he could see that it was Mikki holding him.

  "I'm all right," he grated through his strained windpipe. "You can let me go."

  "Holy shit," Treven said, clutching his wrist. Blood was still seeping between his fingers.

  "I'm sorry." With a hand on the wall, Casimir pulled himself to stand, his entire body trembling. "Here, I can close that," he said, reaching for Treven.

  He jerked away, hiding his arm behind his back. "No, get the fuck away from me. Don't ever come find me again!" Keeping his back to the wall, Treven inched away from them both.

  The smell of blood was still a sickening temptation, but Casimir could control himself now. "At least wrap it up so you don't bleed out. And eat something!"

  After Treven slid around the end of the alley, Mikki said, "You would've killed him if I hadn't dragged you off."

  The new blood in Casimir's veins turned to ice. "I… probably would have," he said, swallowing hard. "Thank you. Thank you for stopping me."

  "Like I was going to watch you kill that guy in front of me," Mikki snorted. He took a hard look at Casimir, and his eyebrows rose. "Your shoulder looks better. Kinda. You got enough blood now?"

  "No, but I don't feel like I'm dying." He licked his lips clean, then smiled at Mikki. "You know, you're really a good guy. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

  "No one'd believe you anyway." Mikki rolled his eyes. "But thanks. I wanna get back to the restaurant and take that food before looters do. Well, other looters, I guess."

  "I'll help you." He wasn't sure how much he could carry with his shoulder like it was, but that was the least he could do for Mikki.

  Chapter Eleven

  Casimir's shoulder was still a raw mass of pain by the time he returned to the inn. Pulling his shirt off, he looked at his shoulder and winced. The missing muscle had grown back, but it was exposed, the flesh still not healed. This one was going to take a few days. Groaning, he lay back on the bed.

  He had to find a new place to stay tomorrow. Mikki and the people working at the Jewel Box were innocent; if Jared was feeling vindictive, they'd get hurt in the crossfire. He would leave as soon as possible. The day after tomorrow, maybe, if he could shoulder his bag again.

  It was a shame. He liked Mikki, and the kind heart under his rough exterior. Casimir felt like he was just getting to see it, and now he had to leave. Maybe he could come back someday, but as long as Jared's group was here, he couldn't be in Brightgate. Sighing, Casimir lay back against the pillows.

  It seemed like he had just closed his eyes when he woke up to someone pounding on the bedroom door. Groaning, he rolled onto his uninjured arm to sit up. "Who is it?" When he got no response, he forced himself to get off of the bed and crossed to the door.

  Lilin was on the other side, two unfamiliar men behind her. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" she asked.

  "I'm not that much of an idiot," Casimir replied. She couldn't step foot inside of his home, even a temporary one, without his word. "Are you here to fight me again?"

  "If you could call that a fight," she snorted. "It depends on you. Jared invited you to dinner."

  "I'm going to have to decline." He took a step back when she grabbed at him.

  Lilin's exquisite face twisted with ugly anger. "You have thr
ee choices: come with me willingly, have us burn you out, or I'll find that little fucker that helped you and have him be dinner. Pick one."

  Casimir licked his lips. He didn't want anyone getting hurt because of him. "I'll come. Just let me put a shirt on." With some difficulty, he put the same one back on. One sleeve was almost completely gone, and it was stained with blood.

  As he stepped out into the hall, Lilin grasped his shoulder, grinding her thumbnail into his raw muscle. He let out a sound that was pure agony and sank to his knees, her grip keeping him in place.

  "If you breathe funny, I'll make your entire body look like this," she warned, withdrawing her hand and licking her nail clean. "Clear?"

  "Perfectly," Casimir said through his teeth, trying not to show his fangs at the same time. He didn't need to give her the excuse to kill him.

  The two male vampires pulled him halfway to his feet, letting him hang limp between them. When they began to drag him, he said, "Lilin, I really don't plan to try and run. I can walk. And I'm just going to leave town without causing trouble."

  "Why don't you tell Olivia that?" she sneered.

  He hung his head. "I apologized for—"

  "Shut up."

  Casimir let his head drop all the lower when they dragged him past the centaur. He would definitely have to find a new place to stay tomorrow. Outside, he could see someone moving in the shadows, hidden even from his eyes. They must have had other vampires nearby, just waiting for him to try and get away. As though he could escape Lilin by running.

  They dragged him outside of town before they let him walk. Casimir could see a small stone house before him, the kind of gray rock that lasted the test of time, covered in climbing ivy. Beyond it was the lake that Inaho must have been living at; he could see the weeping willow that hung over it.

  Lilin stopped the other vampires and dusted Casimir down. "You have permission to enter," she said, pulling him up the low stairs and forcing him through the front door.

  The first room past the entrance was the dining room. On the very back wall, Casimir saw a glass cage that was frosted over. The snow maiden was seated on a white cot inside, her lovely face as impassive as ever. As he stepped into the room, she seemed to recognize him. He bowed his head to her, she lowered her eyelashes as she had before, but he could clearly see her looking at him when he rose.

  The dining table sat before the cage, laid out with empty glasses and plates, full silverware sets at each place. No one but Jared sat in the chairs, and a single human in a red robe was chained to the table leg by his wrists. A bag was tied closed over his head.

  Jared rose, and Casimir took a step back. He looked the same: of average height, with a chiseled jaw, long blond hair pulled back into a tail. Casimir had seen winter mornings a warmer blue than Jared's eyes. "There you are. It's about time you came—you're incredibly rude."

  "You told me you never wanted to see me again. I took that to heart." Casimir's shoulder was throbbing in time with his increased heart rate. "I'm leaving soon. I never planned to stay."

  "I heard you're a hunter," Jared continued, clearly ignoring him. "That's disgusting. Killing humans not exciting enough for you now?"

  Casimir looked away. "I don't kill humans. And I'm not a hunter. I only kill the vampires you send after me."

  "You don't kill humans now, you mean. That's real big of you. Too bad that doesn't help Olivia," Jared sneered, baring his fangs.

  "I've apologized. I left. I never killed another human. I don't know what else I can do to pay penance." He lifted his head. "And from what I understand, one of your brood almost killed one of the boys at the Jewel Box."

  "That's different." He dismissed the words with a flick of his wrist. "They're just food. They're not pets. We don't kill pets." As he spoke, Jared ran a hand over the human's covered head. He jerked, chains rattling. "Sit down. You're going to have dinner with me."

  "I don't—" Casimir cut himself off with a yelp as Lilin grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to sit in the nearest chair.

  "Thank you, love," Jared told her. "Now, Casimir. We're going to talk about your new pet."

  "What pet?" he hissed, body slumping when she finally let him go.

  "That boy that almost set Lilin on fire. I want him. You owe me one for Olivia."

  "He's not mine!" Casimir forced himself to sit up straighter. "Even if he was, I wouldn't let you have him. I know what you would do to him."

  Jared bared his fangs. "I figured you would say that. Pick up your glass, Casimir, and we'll fill it for you."

  Reluctantly, he lifted the heavy crystal goblet and held it up to be filled. "I wouldn't ever bring someone to you to be—"

  This time, he was cut off by the keen sensation of a blade across his throat.

  Chapter Twelve

  Gasping, Casimir clutched his throat, trying to hold back the wetness that was gushing between his fingers. Lilin pulled one of his hands away and held the glass up under his neck to fill it.

  "Did you think I would let you just come back to my city without punishment?!" Jared was shouting so loudly that his voice rang off of the bare walls. "You bastard. You murderer! You'll bleed out, just like she did!"

  The world was going black around the edges. It would take Casimir longer than a human to die like this, but he would die, once he was out of blood. Swaying, he fell to the ground and tried to crawl.

  Lilin grabbed him by the back of the shirt and lifted him completely off the floor. Without ceremony, she carried him out the door, to the lake, and dropped him on its shore. Kicking him, she forced him to roll onto his back, and threw the goblet of blood into his face. "Enjoy your dinner."

  Desperately, Casimir licked at his own blood, trying to get any of it back inside of him. Barely any of it landed in his mouth, but it was just enough to close the hole she had made. It didn't matter—he had lost too much overall and couldn't move. If he could crawl to Inaho's den, maybe she would help. He dug his fingers into the dirt to pull himself forward, then stopped, his near-empty veins icing.

  One of the flesh monsters was coming towards him. Slowly, it rolled across the surface of the lake, its mass catching a fish as it leapt clear of the water. Before Casimir's horrified eyes, the creature absorbed it, meat, innards, and even bones melting away inside of it until there was nothing left.

  Letting out an airless groan, he groped for his pockets, but he didn't feel a match. If he could get under the water, maybe… But it was already too close, and traveling closer with every desperate, fading heartbeat. Casimir shoved his toes against the ground and pushed as hard as he could, rolling away.

  The world went black, and he found himself suddenly looking at the sky. The wet, squelching sound of the flesh ball was just behind his head, and he didn't have the strength to roll away again. Desperately, he looked around, trying to find anything that would buy him more time.

  A flash of light nearly blinded him, and he weakly threw an arm over his eyes to block it out. A pair of hands closed around one of his ankles, dragging him through cold mud and tall grass, and when he stopped moving, he let his arm fall away. By the light of the burning creature, he could see Mikki kneeling over him.

  "Holy shit, you're covered in blood!" he whispered. "Is it yours?"

  Casimir tried to say that it was, but his vocal chords were too damaged to make a sound. He made a gesture for Mikki to leave before he got caught here.

  "Good thing I followed you," he muttered, pulling the knife from his belt. He hesitated, then slashed his palm open, pressing his hand against Casimir's open mouth.

  Desperately, Casimir licked away the taste of metal, hands clamping around his wrist with all of his remaining strength. It took everything in him not to bite, but to run his tongue over and over the slash, until some of the pain in his throat receded, and he could speak.

  "We need to go," he croaked. "They'll find us soon." With Mikki's help, Casimir stood, leaning heavily against his thin frame. He was dragged back into town but forced Mikki
to stop at the restaurant they'd eaten at just hours before. "I need to rest."

  Mikki kicked the door open—the place had been trashed while they were gone, tables overturned if they weren't outright missing, the front window shattered, with scattered flatware on the floor. He turned a chair right side-up and pushed Casimir down, sitting on the table beside him. "Are you gonna make it?"

  "I don't know," he admitted. "I need blood. I need a lot of it."

  "So I don't have time to go out and get you a hooker." Mikki scowled and then took off his turtleneck. "All right, get it over with."

  Casimir gazed at him, uncomprehending. Curious, he looked at the scarring on Mikki's chest; a half-circle under either pec of ragged lines with thick, raised scar tissue near his nipples. It must have been from where his breasts were removed. Whoever had done the surgery was a butcher.

  "Stop staring and just bite me, all right?" Mikki demanded, sounding more uncomfortable than annoyed.

  Casimir swallowed hard. "I'm afraid if I do that I won't be able to stop. I… accidentally killed someone before when I was starving. I didn't mean to. But I was badly injured, and she offered her blood to me, and I…"

  "So that's why the other vampires are pissed off at you. You did something stupid, but you didn't do it on purpose." Mikki twirled his knife between his long fingers. "Remember, you didn't think you could stop yourself before, and you did. Same thing goes: if you take too much, I'll stab you."

  Casimir licked his lips; they were sticky with drying blood. "It would be easier if you sat on my lap."

  Jumping off the table, Mikki did just that, legs sprawling off to one side. He hooked an arm around Casimir's neck and held a knife in his other hand, head turned to bare his neck.

  He rarely went for the neck. It was so dangerous, with thin skin and thick veins, but the blood would come quicker. Casimir was shaking as he put a steadying hand over Mikki's heart, to keep himself conscious of the beat, and sank his fangs in.