Ungifted

by Kelly Oram

  Ethan was so overwhelmed by this news he couldn’t decide whether to be excited or angry. He’d long since forgotten that Russ and I were in the room. I hated to interrupt him, but he looked as if he were on the verge of collapsing, so I scrambled off the bed and hobbled over next to Russ so that Ethan could sit down next to his mom.

  “He wasn’t human?” he asked, sitting down in a daze. “Why…?”

  “I couldn’t tell the clan. They’d have been too proud of you. They’d never be able to keep it secret and your father assured me you couldn’t know before it happened. So when I ended up pregnant and wouldn’t name the father, the clan assumed I was too ashamed. They assumed he was human. It was an easy explanation, so I let them keep assuming it. I had no idea they’d shun me and banish me from the clan, but I don’t regret it Ethan. Not one bit. I never have.”

  “And you knew this would happen someday? You knew I’d be a warrior?”

  Ms. Dunn smiled proudly. “Yes. It’s what you were born for.”

  Ethan frowned, unable to take his eyes off the medallion in his hand. “This is no nephilim crest.”

  “No,” Ms. Dunn agreed proudly. “It’s Angelic.”

  Next to me Russ sucked in a quiet breath, and Ethan’s eyes flashed up to his mother’s, meeting her in a fierce stare.

  “Your father is not human, Ethan,” Ms. Dunn said warily. “But he’s not nephilim, either.”

  “An angel,” Ethan whispered.

  “Impossible,” Russ breathed.

  “Uncommon,” Ms. Dunn corrected Russ. “Since the first nephilim were born, there have only been a handful of warriors ever created.”

  Ethan fingered the jewelry in his hand reverently. “My father was really an angel?”

  “Yes. It’s the only way a nephilim can become a warrior. The warrior’s bond is an angelic power. Regular nephilim don’t have enough angel blood in them to sustain such a powerful connection.”

  “But I thought real angels couldn’t come to Earth,” Russ said.

  Ms. Dunn’s smile turned sad. “They don’t come often. Angels are too divine for this world. The longer they stay the more their glory fades, and eventually their entire being will fade from existence. They can come for brief periods of time without being affected, but the consequences of such visits can easily be very grave—as the first angels to visit this world learned—so they only come when they absolutely must. It’s why there have only ever been a handful of warriors ever to exist. The cost of such a blessing can be a very high price. The Creator hates to ask it of anyone.”

  Ethan’s mom sounded so somber I half expected her to tell us she was dying. I didn’t like the idea that some price had been made on my behalf. “All of that just to protect me?”

  I’d muttered it to myself, or at least I thought I had, but everyone looked at me. Ethan’s frown was as big as mine. Obviously he agreed with my skepticism.

  “Humans are the Creator’s children, too,” Ms. Dunn told me. “You have your own strengths. You specifically, Grace, are important enough to warrant the sacrifice I was asked to make. I don’t know the Creator’s plan, but I am honored to have had my part in it. My son is destined to protect you. I couldn’t be more proud of him or more thrilled with you. I have no regrets. I mean that.”

  “Plus, I still don’t think you’re human,” Russ reminded me.

  His comment intrigued Ms. Dunn but before she could ask Ethan demanded to know what sacrifice she’d had to make. Personally, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to know.

  “When I was seventeen, your father came to me and told me that the Creator needed a strong child to be born who could become a nephilim warrior for a very special person. He explained to me that for a person to become a warrior they had to be born of both nephilim and angel. He said he’d chosen me to be the child’s mother because I was the most loving, compassionate, kind-hearted woman he’d ever seen.”

  Ms. Dunn blushed as she explained this, as if she were still a silly young girl being wooed by the flattery of a strong, handsome man. The blush faded, though, and a determined expression set on her face. “He said I embraced my human lineage more than any other nephilim. He said I would raise more than just a warrior, and that my warrior would need that. He must have known, Grace, who and what you would be. He knew the hearts of the nephilim, and knew he needed a warrior who could accept you and be proud to fight for you despite your humanity.”

  If Ms. Dunn only knew how Ethan really felt about me. I didn’t know a person could feel as awkward as I did just then without it actually killing them. I figured Ethan couldn’t feel much better than me and even though my eyes wanted to drift his direction, I forced my gaze to stay locked on my lap.

  I was glad when Ethan finally broke the silence. “So some stranger just appeared to you and said you were strong, so you let him get you pregnant?”

  Ethan was both horrified and completely pissed, but surprisingly his mom laughed at him. “I did,” she said. “But it wasn’t how you’re thinking. He was an angel, honey. Angels love. It’s what they’re made for. When we were together I’d never felt more loved in my life. He loved me as much as if we’d been married for a lifetime, and I loved him, too. I still love him. With all my heart.”

  “But how?” Ethan asked. “You didn’t even know him.”

  Maybe this was an odd thought to be having right then, but I found it completely adorable that Ethan was so concerned for his mother’s virtue. All these years I’d had him pegged as a player but here he was, nearly seventeen, never been on a single date, and worried that his mom had been with someone out of duty and not love. It was hard to wrap my head around.

  Ms. Dunn pulled me from my thoughts with a woeful sigh. “It’s a side effect,” she said. “When we were together, I was overcome with his glory. There’s no way to describe what that was like. No earthly experience can compare.

  “Your father warned me ahead of time that when the first angels fell in love with humans, they had no idea that the humans would be changed by them, but that’s exactly what happened.”

  “What do you mean ‘changed’?” Ethan asked slowly.

  “An angel’s glory is their heavenly power, and when an earthly being is consumed by that glory, it physically alters them. They…” Ms. Dunn had a hard time finding the right words. “They sort of belong to the angel that changed them. It’s like an unbreakable adoration. You give your whole self over to your angel.”

  “And it’s permanent?” I asked.

  “It is.”

  “So you met him one time and now you’ll never be able to love anyone else?”

  “I don’t want to love anyone else,” Ms. Dunn said simply.

  I thought this was sad, but at least she seemed content with it, happy even. Ethan, on the other hand, was angry again. “So he got to have his fun and send you packing, while you have to spend your whole life alone? He knew this would happen to you and he still did it?”

  “Please don’t be angry with him, Ethan. I told you angels hate asking us to carry such a heavy burden, but there was no other way. He warned me this would happen. He explained everything to me in great detail, told me I had the choice, and gave me as much time as I needed to think about it.”

  “You knew?” Ethan was even more horrified now. “You knew you’d be left alone, pining for a man you’d never see again, and you did it anyway?”

  Ethan’s mother nodded. “And I’ve never regretted it. Not for one second. I miss your father so much it hurts me constantly, but he gave me you, and I love you even more than I love him.”

  Ethan looked down at his father’s pendant and clenched a tight, angry fist around it.

  As if reading his thoughts, Ms. Dunn wrapped her arms around her son and said, “He loves you, too. More than you’ll ever know.”

  “Yeah, I can tell. He’s totally been Dad of the Year sixteen years running.”

  “He can’t be here with us, Ethan, but he watches over us. I know he does.”

  “Y
ou can’t know that.”

  “I do,” Ms. Dunn insisted. “True angels can only be brought into existence by the Creator herself. They take mates, but they cannot have children together. After they realized the effect they had on earthly beings, physical contact with us became outlawed except when allowed by the Creator. Not many angels have children. Your father, in all his years of existence, had never taken a mate. He was alone, and was completely overjoyed when the Creator blessed him with the opportunity to have a child.”

  “Then how could he just leave?” Ethan asked.

  “After you were born and the clan had forsaken me, he was permitted to come back to Earth and help me.” Ms. Dunn began to cry again. “I’ve seen how much he loves you, Ethan. I know it hurts him to have to be separated from you. When he saw you, he held you in his arms and cried. He wanted to stay here with us and risk fading away, but I couldn’t stand the thought of him dying, so I made him go back.”

  “He wanted to stay?” I asked.

  Ms. Dunn nodded. “He almost did. I was eighteen, I had no family, no friends, and I had a new baby. He wanted to take care of us. It was hard to talk him out of it. I had to allow him to give us enough money to live on for the rest of our lives. He chose this house and your school, helped me find a proper nanny, and enrolled me in college. He’s given us everything, and the blessings have never stopped.”

  After that, nobody spoke for a long time.

  I watched Ethan very carefully as he studied the medallion. He looked as if he’d just been run over by a train. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to learn that your entire life had been a lie. To learn that you were amazing and rare when you were always told you were something to be ashamed of.

  And the revelation about his father! Ethan always thought he wasn’t loved. He thought he’d been abandoned. Now he knew that his father not only loved him and watched over him, but also had been willing to give up his immortality to stay with him.

  Would that be enough for Ethan to forgive his mother for the lies? Would it be enough to make up for the life of loneliness and scorn he’d endured from his clan? Could he be happier now? Would he be able to stop resenting humans as much now that no human had hurt his mother and abandoned him? Would he be able to stop resenting me?

  When Ethan pretended to cough and discretely wiped his eye, his mom broke the silence. “It’s late and it’s a school night. I think I need to pull my mom rank and call it lights out for everyone.”

  We were all grateful for the escape. Russ scrambled to his feet, then helped me to mine while Ms. Dunn pushed Ethan to his and began pulling back the covers of my bed.

  Ethan shuffled almost lifelessly out of the room, but stopped in the doorway. “Mom?” When Ms. Dunn looked up Ethan slipped the chain over his head and asked, “What’s his name?”

  Ms. Dunn didn’t respond right away. She was marveling at the same thing I was. Ethan looked different somehow, standing there with his father’s crest hanging around his neck. He’d always looked beautiful before, but he’d been a boy. The shock of the last fifteen minutes had changed him. The truth of who he was and where he came from had somehow transformed him into a man.

  “Your father gave you his name when he met you,” Ms. Dunn finally said, shaking herself from her thoughts.

  Ethan frowned. “I thought you said I was named after Grandpa.”

  “Not Ethan,” Ms. Dunn said. “I’d already named you after my father. Your dad didn’t want to take that from me, so I called your middle name after him.”

  Ethan’s eyes got impossibly big and he reached out to the wall as if to steady himself. The reaction seemed to please Ms. Dunn. She confirmed his suspicions with the way she said, “I’m so proud of you, Ethan.”

  The suspense was killing me. I thought I’d go crazy if Ethan didn’t tell me his middle name, but I also didn’t think it was polite to ask. Ethan must have sensed what I was feeling because he looked at me and said, “Do you remember the story I told you about the history of the nephilim?” I nodded. “My middle name is Michael.”

  Michael. His father was the Angel Michael. The fiercest angel there ever was, who saved earth by driving the fallen angels into the underworld. The strongest and most beloved of all the Creator’s children was Ethan’s dad. It figured.

  I was tempted to laugh and say “Of course it is” but Ethan didn’t look as though he could joke about it. In fact, he looked like he was barely holding himself together. Instead of teasing him, I just smiled. He took the gesture in stride and simply returned it by saying “Let me know if you need anything.”

  He made sure the bedroom window was locked tight. “If you so much as think you hear a noise outside, call for me. Do you understand?”

  I nodded again, and he left without saying another word.

  Ms. Dunn watched him go and whispered, “He’ll be okay.”

  I think it was more to reassure herself than me, so I said, “He’ll be fine.”

  Ms. Dunn smiled at me. “Take good care of him, Grace. I know it’s his job to protect you, but he needs you as much as you need him. He just doesn’t realize it yet.”

  Was that ever a heavy statement? My heart fell as I thought about the fact that the only thing Ethan really needed was me out of his life. But I couldn’t let his mom down when she looked as wrecked as Ethan, so I nodded. “I’ll do the best I can.”

  I was glad to have my dad home. Not that I saw him much on election day, but it meant that I had a reason to go home. Ethan’s mom was fantastic, but despite her hospitality the few days I stayed at Ethan’s house were torture.

  Everything was strange. Ethan and Russ really clicked and spent most of their time hanging out and swapping stories. It was clear that both of them were a lot more comfortable around each other than they were with me. They were both friendly enough, but anytime I came in the room the laughter died and the conversation became stiff and awkward.

  Neither Ethan nor Russ wanted to spend time with the werewolves. Russ didn’t trust them because of their connection to the resistance, and I suspected Ethan didn’t like their sudden interest in me. I couldn’t blame them, I guess, but it made for a very long, lonely few days.

  I didn’t want to impose on the Dunns any more than I already was, and I didn’t want to make the guys annoyed with me, so I didn’t invite Cynthia home after school. And since I had someone trying to kill me, we went straight from school to Ethan’s house and back again. Mostly I’d spent the time reading or doing homework, trying to give Ethan and Russ their space.

  It had been so awful that having to hang out with every democratic politician in Washington, waiting for the poll results to come in, sounded like fun.

  The secret service was supervising the event, and security would be next to impossible to breech, even for supernaturals. I also knew I’d be required to stick close to my dad most of the night—he’d already warned me that I’d have to bear a lot of painful introductions and media interviews—so when he gave Ethan the night off, I hadn’t been all that concerned.

  Ethan pretty much had a hissy that he wouldn’t be there, but eventually I calmed him down after I assured him that we had our telepathy thing and that my every move would be broadcast live all night long on C-SPAN or whatever. If I needed him, he’d know.

  Russ even talked him into going to go see a movie, and while I was completely jealous of their low-key evening I thought the time apart would be good for all of us. Of course, my tune changed when I got to the party and realized that Andrew was there.

  My problems didn’t start until my leg began to hurt and I was forced to sit down. All my father’s kiss-ups went to great lengths to make sure I was comfortable. They brought in a sofa and even found me pillows to prop my foot on.

  I was in the middle of trying to convince the caterers that I had enough snacks and drinks in front of me when Andrew materialized and shooed everyone away, promising to take care of my every need. There were way too many people watching me to do anything but polite
ly accept his gallant gesture.

  I moved my leg to make room for him on the sofa, but when he sat down he put one of the pillows in his lap and propped my foot back up. I hated being at his mercy like this. He was being much more intimate than he should have been and he knew it, but he also knew very well that I couldn’t do anything about it.

  “I’ve missed you this week, love. Did you like the flowers I sent?”

  He’d spoken louder than necessary and then smiled when people started whispering. I glanced around at all the curious gazes and lowered my voice to almost nothing. “I threw them out.”

  Andrew sighed. “I’m not forgiven yet.” It wasn’t a question. “Grace, you don’t know how sorry I am. You were so upset. I only meant to—”

  “We don’t need to rehash it,” I said quickly. “I’d like to not have nightmares again tonight if I can help it.”

  Andrew’s face fell and he reached his hand out to my neck where he’d bitten me. I stopped him before he could touch it. “Please don’t. You’ll smear the makeup and I really don’t want to have to explain to the nation why I have bite marks and bruises on my neck.”

  “You should never have bruised.”

  “Well, that’s what happens when you sever an artery!” I hissed. “Do you know how much stage makeup I’m wearing? I’m black and blue all the way down to my shoulder!”

  Andrew’s face paled. “I’ve never seen a human bruise before. My venom has healing properties. The wound should have closed instantly. Even the punctures should have completely disappeared within half an hour.”

  Andrew looked so pained that I couldn’t help pitying him. “They’re almost faded,” I told him. “It doesn’t really hurt anymore, but I think it’s safe to say that none of your vampire powers will work on me, so would you please stop trying to use them?”

  “Yes, love, I promise.”

  “And would you please stop calling me that? It implies—”

  “It implies that you are the love of my life, which I assure you is the absolute truth, Grace.”