Shades of Hate (Jacky Leon Book 5)

by K. N. Banet

  It’s better than nothing, I guess.

  I almost closed the message program Davor had made for the family when I saw another message I wanted to read. It was from Niko to me, so I assumed it had something to do with Dirk.

  Niko: Hey, Jacky. I was hoping for an update on Dirk. He was only supposed to be there for a year, but he’s been avoiding telling me when he will be back. I understand things happened, and they couldn’t work for you for several months, but I do need a time frame. We’re two months past when he was supposed to return.

  I could hear his words in my head—a concerned father, worried about when his son was going to come home.

  I’ll tell Dirk that Niko is hoping he’ll go home. It’s honestly his decision, not mine. Well…I could fire him, but I don’t want to. He’s good at his job.

  With that on my mind, I closed the messaging app and shut the laptop. I grabbed my keys and wallet from the counter, leaving in the hope of beating Heath and Carey to the bowling alley.

  I jogged to my car, then raced to the bowling alley, testing out the new things Heath got me for the little Nissan Versa hatchback. A Christmas gift, he had claimed. I’d finally let him take my car for the day, and he had it tuned up with new tires and everything, but that was the normal stuff. He also claimed there was magic on my car now, something I couldn’t tell on my own until I sniffed hard and was looking for it. There was something I had heard called a Look Away charm, a fae spell to stop humans from looking too closely at something. Apparently, it was standard for most supernaturals to have a supplier for simple tricks like this, but I had never engaged with the larger supernatural world. My one run-in with a fae left me with magic I wasn’t supposed to have. My run-ins with vampires were hit and miss, but always violent in some way.

  While Heath—and my life—was forcing me to learn and acknowledge the larger world more than I ever wanted to, that didn’t mean I wanted to engage with it regularly. I was hunting for an elusive balance between the two extremes. I needed to know everything but stay disengaged. I had already caused too much trouble for my own good.

  So, I let the werewolf get my car tricked out with magic but didn’t go with him to do it.

  Beating the Everson family to the bowling alley, I grabbed our lane, rented shoes, and ordered a large pepperoni pizza by the time they walked in.

  “Everything is on the way. Just get your shoes!” I called from across the bowling alley. Heath smiled and waved, but his greeting wasn’t what bothered me. It was fairly normal.

  Carey blushed, looking down at her feet when someone laughed in the arcade section of the bowling alley. Frowning, I turned to see who it was, seeing some kids around her age.

  Oh, we’re already at that stage. Catty girls. Fantastic.

  I nestled into a seat and watched Carey as she got her shoes and came to sit at our lane.

  “You know them?” I asked softly, not pointing or looking at the young teens.

  “They go to my school,” she mumbled. “It’s fine. They’re all assholes.”

  “Language, Carey,” Heath said, but there was no anger behind it.

  “Sure. Let’s just bowl.” She got up before Heath and I could say anything else.

  The entire bowling thing was tense. The kids didn’t cause any problems for Carey, so I didn’t see if it was really bullying or just some laughter at my accidental, embarrassingly loud behavior. I knew what the problem was. Carey was hanging out with her dad and some lady. She didn’t have any friends her age and was the odd one out. It killed me a little. I had been right when I explained to Heath that it was unavoidable, but it didn’t make it easy to deal with.

  “Did you get enough to eat?” Heath asked Carey.

  I hissed, and he looked up. Glaring at him, I shook my head.

  Don’t fucking hover, Heath. You’ll make her seem like a kid when she’s not one. The other kids will notice.

  The irony of my thoughts wasn’t lost on me.

  No wonder Dirk hates when people hover.

  We made it outside without another incident.

  “Well, maybe we can do something else in the future,” I said, looking back at the bowling alley as we made it to our vehicles. Heath had parked right beside me. “You didn’t seem to have much fun today.”

  I didn’t need to direct that statement.

  “Yeah,” Carey sighed, still looking down.

  “Have either of you ever gone paintballing or played laser tag?” I looked between them. Heath nodded.

  “The Dallas pack used to keep a place open for everyone to play on weekends.”

  “Really? There’s probably somewhere nearby. We can try one of those next time. Carey?” I watched her carefully.

  “Yeah, that would be cool.” She sounded so disinterested, as though I was some old lady, trying to relate to a teenage girl. Today was supposed to go smoothly, and it was an absolute failure.

  “I’m going to assume you don’t want to hang out today,” I said, leaning on Heath’s truck. “I asked your dad last night if you wanted to, then I would take you to school tomorrow, but…”

  She looked up finally, her eyes gaining some of their normal brightness.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah,” her dad said with a small chuckle. “You’ve been strange, so I’m dumping you on Jacky because I can’t deal anymore.”

  “Let’s go!” Carey was already running to the passenger side of my car. I smirked at Heath and shrugged.

  Sometimes, teenagers were mysteries. Sometimes, they weren’t.

  “I have a couple changes of clothes for her at my place,” I reminded him when he opened his mouth. “We’ll be fine.”

  “Her schoolwork,” he said, opening the door to his truck.

  “Wait, you brought my backpack?” Carey looked over my car with a deep frown of her own.

  “Of course. Jacky and I planned this, so I prepared.” He grabbed the backpack and held it out for me. I threw it into my backseat and waved at him.

  “Drive safe,” I ordered before getting into my car. Carey jumped in next to me and quickly put on her seatbelt. The moment we were out of the parking lot, I dove into my interrogation.

  “What’s up with you?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Look, I’m not your parental figure and never tell your dad shit. I even let you curse. I don’t care, but you were in a terrible mood while we were bowling. I think I deserve to know why you were sour for the entire surprise get-together your dad and I tried to pull off for you.”

  “What if I don’t want to tell you?” she fired back. “Are you going to force me?”

  “No,” I conceded. “Because there’s…” I sighed, knowing she was about to hate me. “There’s a reason you’re with me today that might be a little more important.”

  “What?”

  “I’m taking you shopping and not the good kind.”

  “I don’t like that. I don’t like this type of surprise,” she said, huffing. “Let’s just go to your place and play some video games or something.”

  “This is important,” I said sadly. I drove silently, and she groaned as I pulled into the local Walmart. We’d been here before, and most were unimportant visits, but today wasn’t. I sniffed the air, but Carey didn’t smell any different than she normally did. She was cranky with everyone, but recently, that was becoming more common.

  “Tell me we’re just getting groceries,” she said, glaring at the store.

  “Nope. I think we quickly need to deal with something, then we can never bring it up again if you don’t want to.” I stared at the store as well, not cutting the engine off yet. “Your dad is at a loss, and I’m assuming your brother is, too. You know, you have to talk about things if you want to resolve them. Brooding in silence doesn’t help anyone and will probably only hurt you in the end.”

  “Sure. Why are we at Walmart?” She was short with me, but I didn’t get onto her for it. There was only one thing I ever wanted from my strange aunt-like relationship
with Carey, and that was her trust. If I got snappy back with her too much, I would lose that trust.

  “To deal with a problem neither of your werewolf family members has to deal with.”

  “Because they’re werewolves?”

  “Because they’re men,” I said, sighing. “And also werewolves. Werecats don’t deal with it either…but I used to. I’m all you have to help you before it happens, so…” I looked at her, watching her work through it. “Carey, we’re here to prepare you for your first—”

  “I hate you,” she declared. “Yeah. I hate you, I hate Dad. I can’t believe we’re doing this. This is so embarrassing. Wow.” She undid her seatbelt then jumped out of my car, slamming the door.

  I turned off the car and got out more slowly, then went to her side as she glared at the ground.

  “Carey, seriously. This is important, and I hate it too. Most women hate it, but it’s…unavoidable.”

  “Could just make me into a werewolf or something,” she said, glaring at me.

  I hissed, looking around the parking lot before replying.

  “Really? You want the life we live? The danger of people trying to kill us and fighting all the time? Just last year, I had to fight against my own kind, then save my human family when they were kidnapped by Russian werewolves.” I shook my head. She didn’t know what she was asking for.

  She opened and closed her mouth, and I watched her fight an obvious pain eating at her, but since she didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t pry—not yet—but obviously, this conversation was coming up on us faster than I wanted.

  “Let’s go get this done. I promise once it’s over, everything will be a little easier,” I said softly, gently touching her back. She leaned in, her way of saying it was cool if I put my arm on her shoulder. I held her to my side as we walked in.

  “Why do we have to do this today?” she asked softly as we drew close to the aisle we needed.

  “Not to weird you out, but we’re pretty sure it’s close,” I said quietly, looking over the options. The branding had changed in the over ten years since I needed to be here, but the products were the same. “As a parent, it’s obviously expected that your dad talks to you about all of this.”

  “But he’s never done it before,” she finished, nodding. “Yeah. I mean, thanks for bringing me. You’re way better than Dad or Landon.” We both laughed softly at that idea, and I was immensely glad she saw reason. When she stopped, I waited for whatever was next. “Lots of girls in my class already have theirs, and I knew mine was coming soon. I couldn’t avoid it forever, right?”

  “Sadly, no,” I said softly.

  “I wish I was born a werewolf, like Dad,” she mumbled, grabbing a box off the shelf.

  There it is. That’s what it is.

  “You know, it’s always been weird being the human in the family. Like super weird. Dad had to make all sorts of rules, so Richard and Landon didn’t invade my privacy all the time. If I was a werewolf, I could be more like them, and the rules wouldn’t matter so much. Instead…I don’t really fit anywhere. Not with my dad and Landon. Not with the kids at school, who are all human with normal human parents. Did you know they keep asking Dad to be in the PTA? He turns them down because he thinks it’s a trick. A trick! Why is it a trick? Why can’t he try to be normal, too?”

  “They’re looking for him to mess up in public to justify their behavior,” I explained, grabbing another box. “This was my favorite brand.”

  “You mean like lose his temper with them?”

  “He’s an easy target for those sorts of tricks, yeah.” A sad fact of life. “He explained it to me before. He would be an easy one to sue if anything went wrong. And natural human instinct tells them not to trust him or me or any of our kinds. They need to create a reason to feel that way instead of just accepting the fact of it. He has to be on his best behavior all the time, and that’s harder when his kids are involved. What do you think would happen if some boy was bullying you, and he found the kid’s parents? What if they didn’t care? Do you think he would tolerate that?”

  “No,” she said in a small voice.

  “I’m sorry you don’t live a normal life,” I whispered, looking down at her. She threw a box into our basket.

  “It’s fine. It’s just getting harder. I don’t even have others like me anymore. The pack had other kids growing up with werewolf parents. We all hung out at school when we had the chance. People left us alone because the werewolf kids hung out with us, too. If I was a werewolf, people would at least be too scared to laugh at me or tease me.”

  “School sucks for everyone,” I said, hoping it was any sort of consolation prize.

  We finished up in the aisle quickly. On the car ride to Kick Shot, I gave her all the advice I could, knowing I had finally softened her enough to listen. As we walked to my home, she seemed even lighter.

  “Sorry for the attitude,” she finally said as we walked through my front door. “I was fine until those idiots laughed. I was so embarrassed and don’t even know why.”

  I had a few guesses, but I kept them to myself. She probably knew exactly why but didn’t want to admit it.

  “Carey, my best advice is this. Do better than them. Be smarter. Ace tests and kick ass. They’re trying to bring you down to prove they’re better than you. Don’t let them. Be pretty, be tough, be whatever you want to be. Don’t let them dictate the terms of your life. It’s your life, not theirs.”

  She nodded, and the smile she finally gave me was everything I always wanted from her—happy, fierce, and ready to take on the world.

  “You’re right,” she agreed.

  “Yeah, and just think…they don’t have a bunch of cool ancients willing to help them ace their history exams and research papers.” I shrugged. “Or an ancient warlord teaching them to use the bow. It’s their loss.”

  “Yeah, it is,” Carey said, that smile continuing. Then she looked at the bags, narrowing her eyes on them. “Are you really sure it’s coming soon?”

  “Yeah, and I’m one of your emergency contacts to pull you out of school. If you need it, just call me.”

  “You’re the best.”

  “I know.” I didn’t really know, but I always appreciated the sentiment.

  4

  Chapter Four

  I dropped Carey off at school on Monday, watching her go inside as I thought about what she had said the day before. She was being teased, and there wasn’t much any of us could do about it. I could only hope she took my advice to heart and was strong. The alternatives weren’t that great, and I had explained those to her as well.

  Boarding school was a bad idea to her, while homeschooling had made her a little excited, which meant I’d lightly drop the idea on Heath. If he had time for it or the money to afford it, a solid private education was possibly a perfect solution for her.

  Or she would lose all possibilities of having human friends, and we’d further entrench her into the supernatural world we didn’t want her to be a part of. It could go either way.

  When I arrived at the Everson household, Landon was pulling up in his truck. I waited for him to go into the driveway first to claim his spot, then pulled in behind him.

  “How was the fishing trip?” I asked loudly, as he grabbed a large pack from the back of his truck.

  “Fine. Caught a couple of fish for dinner and breakfast. Nothing special,” he answered, eyeing me as I walked closer. “What are you doing here this early?”

  I held up the Walmart bag in my hands. “Fixing a problem for you and your father.”

  He snorted in derision as if there was no way I could ever fix something for them. I kept the bag where he could see it, and he finally gave in to look inside. His eyes went wide as understanding dawned.

  “Ah…” It was probably the best thing he could have said.

  “Mm-hm.” I smiled sweetly. “In return for handling this, I’m going to extort you now.” His narrowed-eyed stare was intense, but I held firm. I was getti
ng very good at playing the werewolves into my favor.

  “Why me?” he demanded. “Extort him. He’s the one you’re sleeping with.”

  “Because you hang out with my brother’s adopted son, and I’m concerned about him.”

  Landon sighed as defeat hit him. “That’s right. Dirk was pretty annoyed you found out about the trip before he could leave. He’s fine. I’m not going to betray his trust beyond that.”

  “If there was anything concerning—”

  “There’s not,” Landon growled softly. “But…if there was, I would certainly tell someone.” Landon threw the large bag over his shoulder as if it weighed nothing. “He just wants to live his own life, Jacky. That’s all. Let him.”

  “All I ask is he tells me when he’s leaving my territory. How hard is that?”

  “That’s for you and him to work out.” He shrugged. “Get the cooler. It’s empty.”

  I helped him, chuckling as he started sorting through everything with an exasperated look on his face.

  “You okay?” I finally asked, watching him dump everything.

  “I used to go fishing with Richard, and he was always here to help me put this shit away,” he answered. “Just annoyed.”

  “You could have forced Dirk to help you.”

  He only shook his head, then waved me away. Landon wasn’t trying to be bossy. He just didn’t always have the patience or energy to remember words. Heading inside their home from the garage, I put the bag on the kitchen counter for them to handle later. I wandered the house until I found Heath’s office and saw him glaring at his computer screen. I could tell the moment he caught my scent, and a very wolfy grin came over his face.

  “How was your night with Carey?” he asked as if I was going to tell him it was terrible, and he could laugh at me.

  “It had a rocky start, but we figured it out. What you need is on the kitchen counter. I’m heading home.”

  He growled softly, but I was already moving out of his office, closing the door in his face. He caught me before I made it to the front door, pinned me to the wall, and leaned in for a kiss.