by Sean Michael
Barker whimpered and licked at Cody’s wound.
Cody groaned, eyes rolling as his muscles jerked. “Please.”
Still whimpering, Barker kept licking his arm, cleaning away the blood.
“Always a fucking he…oh, fuck…” He writhed, screaming as the pain stole his sense.
Barker threw his head back and howled then the big muzzle pressed against his chest, pushing at him.
“Kill me.” The wolf was inside him, desperate to get out.
Barker yipped and snarled, kept pushing at him.
“Asshole! Kill me!” He tried to yell, but he didn’t have the breath to scream.
Another whimper sounded, Barker head-butting his chest again. Then his mate barked and started to lick his face.
He groaned, blinking into those amazing, glowing eyes. “Beauty.”
A low growl sounded, almost the same as he’d heard when they made love.
“I…I wanted to run with you, to be yours.” He sobbed the words out.
Barker put his head back and howled again then bounded away a few steps before coming back and pushing.
“What do you want?”
Barker ran toward him and then away again, barking.
“What? Just…If you’re not going to bite me, just go play.” He started crawling back for the cabin, body dragging on the ground.
Barker pushed under him, pushing him up.
He howled—in pain, in frustration, in pure, unadulterated fury. Barker drew back and answered his howl. Blood dripped from his fingers, down his arm, staining the ground. Barker whimpered again, licking his arm, his face.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please. Go. Just go. I promise I’ll never bother you again. Never.” He began to sway, the sound of his heart beating odd and so loud in his ears.
Growling, Barker pushed the wet nose against his chest again and again. He reached out, fingers on Barker’s fur, tangling in the silky mass, holding on. Barker rumbled at him, rubbed against him.
“Mate…”
So soft.
Barker yipped, pushed closer to him.
“I don’t know how to help you.” He eased himself down, too tired to move another inch.
Barker curled around him, soft and warm, panting softly.
“Mate.” His heart beat slower and he pressed into Barker’s warmth. “Love.”
Barker licked his face.
Cody thought he’d close his eyes, just for a few minutes, stay right here and rest. Barker seemed inclined to stay with him, the big wolf soft and warm, making him feel protected and safe.
“Please let me die here. Happy.” If there were gods, they’d hear him.
Please, let there be gods.
* * * * *
Barker snuffled and sneezed, the grass tickling his nose. He was curled up on the ground. He blinked—he didn’t usually sleep during his time as a wolf. Last night had been different, though. Last night he’d stayed with his mate.
Growling a little, he half sat, realizing that Cody was there with him, curled up with him. He grunted, frowning at the sight of the cut on Cody’s arm. What the hell was Cody doing out here instead of safely locked in the cabin?
His mate slept hard, face relaxed, peaceful, and for half a second, Barker didn’t want to kill the little fuck. That peace by way of the painful to the soul night was the reason he didn’t wake Cody right then and there and tear him a new one.
There had to be an answer. Had to be. No one would keep the man alive so long, in so much agony, if there wasn’t an answer. He was going to find it, too.
He stretched, the sun warming his skin.
Cody’s eyes cracked open, looked at him. “You don’t follow orders worth a fuck.”
“I don’t follow orders worth a fuck? You’re the one who didn’t fucking lock the door, who came out here where anything could have come along and killed you.”
“You were supposed to do it. You just had to be a fucking hero, didn’t you?”
Growling, he rolled over onto Cody and grabbed his neck in one hand. “You wanted me to kill you? You set me up to do it, didn’t you?”
Cody didn’t flinch away. “Set you up? I asked. Nicely. It’s your job, to put me out of my misery.”
Barker shook his head. “I’m not doing that. You were made this way for a reason. We’re going to find it.”
“What reason? What? Am I supposed to wander and hurt forever? For what? I didn’t do anything wrong!”
Those eyes seemed to have fire in them, and Barker swore he could hear the wolf, see it. “We’ll get you fixed.”
One eyebrow arched. “You think that’ll help?”
He punched Cody in the arm. “You know that’s not what I meant.” He thought Cody had lost it, just a touch. So many years of pain would do it, but still.
Cody snapped at the air right above his chest. “Stop hitting.”
“Then stop being an idiot.”
“I’m not. I should go. This whole thing is insane.”
“No. It isn’t. I should have done it a long time ago.”
“Done what? Watch me piss myself and moan? Lose a night of running?”
Look at his mate, at that fury. They’d need that fire, he was sure.
“I should have stayed with you. Fought for you. Looked for a cure for you.”
“I don’t think there’s a cure.”
“There has to be.” He stood up and held his hand out to Cody.
Cody reached for him, the knife wound on the lean arm almost healed. He grabbed Cody’s hand and hauled him up, examining the cut. They didn’t heal faster as humans. They didn’t. Cody’s beast was in there; they needed to figure out how to get it out, how to get his body to finish the change.
“You’re my mate and we’re going to find a way to make you better.”
Cody snorted, turned from him, and stalked inside.
“Don’t you walk away from me!” He snarled and followed Cody in.
“Don’t bitch.” The door swung back, almost hitting him.
“You spent years spying on me, I think I’m allowed a few bitch sessions.”
“Nope.” Cody just kept walking away from him. Where the fuck did the man think there was to go?
Barker kept following, hungry and growly and ready to throw Cody up against the wall and either fight him or fuck him. Cody’s ass was still the finest he’d ever seen, lean and tight and pale. He wanted to bite it, fuck it, bury himself inside. He walked right up to Cody and grabbed himself a double handful of that ass.
“Hey!” Cody stepped forward and Barker held on.
His. This was his. He growled, squeezing Cody’s ass tighter.
“Hands off.” Those tight muscles jerked, felt so good.
“I don’t think so.” Barker squeezed again, hard. “These are mine.”
“Bullshit.” Fuck. Fuck, his wolf was at the surface, hungry, demanding its mate.
“I’ll prove it.” He whirled Cody around and took his mouth.
Cody tasted like heaven, like truth, and he needed. He’d never had his mate, not in the midst of the changing, not with the moon heavy just on the other side of the earth. He grabbed Cody’s ass again, hauling him up close as he devoured Cody’s lips. He couldn’t be gentle, couldn’t be careful, and from Cody’s response, he didn’t need to be.
He pushed them to the floor as he spread Cody’s ass cheeks, pushing a finger into that little hole. His. His mate. His lover. Barker needed as much now as he had ten years ago, when they had been new to this, desperate to mate and change. He quickly pushed in another finger, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to hold back for much longer.
“P…pushy bastard.” Yes. And Cody needed him, wanted him.
“Uh-huh.” He pushed Cody’s legs back, leaving that sweet little hole exposed.
“This isn’t a good idea.”
Yes, yes it was. It was a fabulous idea. “You thought it was a good idea the other day.” He snugged up close, pressing his cock against Cody’s hole.<
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“I…” Cody moaned, that tiny, wrinkled hole kissing the tip of his prick.
“You want me.” He nudged a bit forward, holding back with all his might.
“Do I?”
The very tip of Barker’s cock spread Cody the tiniest bit.
“You do. I can smell you.” Groaning, he held it right there and then pushed in, sinking into the most amazing heat. Cody fit him, the perfection and pure, undeniable rightness of this act hitting him square. He stared into Cody’s glowing eyes. “Mate. Mate. Mate.”
“Yes.” Not even Cody could deny that, not now, not in this space. Not with Barker buried deep.
Barker started thrusting, humping hard into his mate’s body. Cody’s long fingers sank into his shoulders, near-claws digging into him. It felt so fucking good. Barker put his head back and howled out his pleasure.
Cody jerked on his cock, body moving frenetically on him.
“That’s it. Mate. Fuck.” He swore he could see Cody’s face begin to change.
“Mine,” he snarled. “Never going to leave you.”
“You have to…” Cody’s body gripped his prick tight.
“No.” He slammed in as he said it.
Cody’s eyes rolled back, a deep growl vibrating in the lean chest.
“Yes. Mate. Mine.” He leaned down, bit into Cody’s shoulder then nuzzled the long neck, teeth threatening. His hips kept pumping, taking what was his.
“Fuck. Fuck. Barker…” He felt Cody’s heartbeat in his lips.
“Mate.” He growled and bit at Cody’s neck, marking his lover.
Blood coated his lips, and he bit harder, shaking Cody the tiniest bit. His mate. His. Sharp barks filled the air, Cody calling for him. He growled and barked back, giving himself to his mate.
Cody’s ass squeezed him, milked his prick, and for the barest second, he could swear he saw wolf. He howled again, moving faster, harder, his mate making him wild. He smelled Cody’s need, felt his lover’s orgasm all around his prick.
“Fuck! Yes!” That was his! He howled again, his spunk filling Cody as he slammed into the sweet body one more time.
Cody blinked at him, the glow barely visible between the heavy eyelids. Naptime, but damn it, he didn’t want to wake up alone again.
“No running away this time. Promise me.”
“I can’t do that. I have to do what’s best for you.”
“Then I have only one option.” He grabbed one of the pillows and tugged off the pillowcase. Then he used it to tie Cody’s wrists together.
“What the fuck?” Oh, that look of outrage.
“You’ve been deciding what’s best for me for ten years. It’s my turn now.” He dragged Cody onto the bed, and then took the other pillowcase and attached Cody’s bound wrists to the headboard.
“This is ridiculous!” Cody snarled, fought, but the man was tired, worn down, and Barker had him.
“No. Running away from me every time is ridiculous. This is me making sure you’ll still be here after our nap.”
“Let me up, you motherfucker.” The fight was lessening, Cody easing.
He curled around his mate’s body, petting Cody’s skin.
“I hate you…” Cody stretched, bunched muscles relaxing.
“Yeah, I hate you, too.” He kissed his mark on Cody’s neck. “Mate.”
“Bas…bastard.” Cody’s eyes were closed now, breath evening out.
“Uh-huh.”
He patted Cody’s stomach and then slipped his hand around Cody’s hip. They could figure everything out later. Right now, he and his mate could rest.
Chapter Four
Cody was running, legs driving his paws into the dirt, the moon calling him. He howled, happy, moving faster. His mate’s howl answered his. Yes! Yes, running. Going. Going.
He felt Barker’s breath on his neck, his mate so close. He chirruped and barked, encouraging Barker to keep up as he moved faster. Barker did, chuffing, breathing hard down his neck. He heard his blood pounding through his veins, sensed his mate near his tail.
Barker started petting him, stroking his fur. He panted, tail wagging, tongue lolling. So good.
“Mmm. Mate.” Barker bit at his neck.
He growled softly, not wanting to wake up, not yet.
Barker’s heat was all along his back, his mate’s thick cock pressing against his ass.
Please. “Let me dream.”
“We’re together here.”
Yes, but in his dream, he was real.
He sighed and opened his eyes, looking at Barker. “Have we slept long?”
Barker shrugged. “Long enough, I’m hungry.”
“Go eat.” Barker was always hungry. He had the metabolism of a wolf. “If you ate everything out of the cooler there’s canned stuff. Beans, stews and shit.”
Cody frowned; his hands were free now. “Did you remember a can opener?”
“There’s one here already.”
Cody rolled up, heading outside to do his business.
“You want beans or beans?” Barker called after him.
“I don’t care.” It all tasted like dirt.
Barker trotted up after him. “Who pissed in your cornflakes?”
“Nobody. I just gotta piss.”
“Well, I’ll let you do that.”
“Thanks ever so.”
He hurried into the woods, trying to forget how it had felt to run, to have a tail. Barker kept following him, standing next to him as they relieved themselves.
As soon as he was done, he headed back toward the cabin, toward the clearing.
“So you’re just going to ignore me now?” Barker asked.
“No. No, I just…fuck. I just don’t know what to say.” What to do.
“You can say good morning. You can say it’s good to wake up together.”
“I was dreaming I could shift.”
“We’ll find a way to make it real, baby.”
“I wish.” He did. He scooped up his pocketknife, sticking it into the ground to clean it off.
“Hey.” Barker grabbed his shoulders and looked into his eyes. “We’re going to find a way.”
“There isn’t a way. If there was, I would have found it.”
“Tell me what you’ve done.”
“What? I’ve been to healers, Elders. I’ve tried bleeding out, hunting, hurting.”
“Have you tried scientists? Magic?”
“Because you know I’m dying to be strapped to a table and experimented on.”
“No, it seems to me you’re dying for me to off you. Not going to happen. We’ll go back to the healers, the Elders, we’ll research. I’m done with living my life without my mate.”
“I…” Well, shit. What was he supposed to say to that?
“Yeah, you heard me.” Barker grabbed him close and kissed him.
He opened up, the kiss enough to derail him, distract him. He’d never been this easy in his skin during the full moon. Ever. Barker hauled him up off the ground, still kissing him as Barker pulled them into the cottage.
One more time. That’s what he told himself after each and every time he gave in to his need.
The bed hadn’t even been made yet and Barker pushed him down on it again.
“Barker.” Horny ass.
“Shut up and let me love you.”
He stopped, met Barker’s eyes. “Don’t say that.” He didn’t want Barker to lie. They mated for life; Barker had to need him. The man didn’t love him.
“What?” Barker growled at him.
“You don’t love me. Don’t say it.”
“You don’t know that.”
He looked at Barker, eyes feeling like they were burning. “Bullshit! You knew. You knew they were coming for me! I was just a fucking kid, man! I’d lived with the Clan my entire life and I was fucking scared.”
He stepped forward, hand slamming in the center of Barker’s chest. “Do you have any idea what it’s like? To have your family, your father, your brothers shooting bul
lets at your feet? I had fifty fucking dollars and the clothes on my back. Do you know what I had to do? To eat? To survive? With these fucking eyes?”
He shoved Barker away, snarling. “Don’t say you love me, because I can’t believe love would do that.” He stepped away, shook his head. “You want me. Need me. Fine. It’s a biological fucking imperative. But leave the lies out of it.”
“I was just a kid, too, Cody. Okay, I didn’t have it as hard as you did, but it wasn’t fucking easy for me, either. It fucking hurt to have you ripped from my life. And yeah, I didn’t do anything about it because I was scared, too.” Barker growled and advanced on him. “If just one of those times you’d stayed, maybe it wouldn’t have been ten years before we started working on this together.”
“Leave me the fuck alone.” He turned his back on Barker. He didn’t want to hear how the man had hurt, too. He didn’t care. He didn’t care.
“I will not. And I know you don’t really want me to, or you wouldn’t have kept coming back to the city to perch above me and watch me.”
“I didn’t have a choice. I needed to see you, to know you were well.”
“You did have a choice. You could have stayed, you could have showed yourself more than you did.”
He shook his head. No. No, he couldn’t have. He’d have lost what was left of his mind.
“I should have fought harder, but I was just a kid, too. It takes a stronger man than I was to stand up to them. I’m stronger now. And you’re not running away anymore. We’ll work on this together.”
His smile was bitter and he was glad Barker couldn’t see it. He would run. He had to. It was what he did. He was Cast Out.
“Meanwhile, we need to eat.” Barker moved to the tiny counter and pulled out a little portable stove, checked the gas.
Cody dressed, found his dark glasses and his duffel bag with his booze. “Will you stay out here all three days?”
Barker turned around and looked at him. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Getting a drink.” He waved the bottle.
“You’re better off with food.” Barker opened a couple of cans of beans.
He rolled his eyes and took a long swig, the burn easing the growing tension from his muscles.
Barker didn’t say anything else, just poured the beans into a pot and plonked it on the burner. Man looked like he could use a belt or two.