Snowfall and Secrets (Omega Mu Alpha Brothers Book 1)

by Kimberly Loth

  “Moderation, sweetheart.” He smiled.

  He was going to give her a quick kiss before he got to work, but she took the apron from his hands and leaned into him.

  “I do have to work.” He laughed into her hair.

  “I know, but if I’m going to sit here and watch, I want a nice view.” She grinned and pulled his sweater over his head. He didn’t fight her, interested to see where she was going with this. Her fingers fumbled with the top button of his shirt. He hid his smile. This wild, yet shy side of her was a hell of a turn on.

  “Tess,” he said breathlessly.

  “Hmmmm.” She deftly undid the rest of the buttons and slid his shirt off his shoulders. Her fingers brushed his abs and with a satisfied smile, she handed him the apron.

  “There,” she said. “A nice view.”

  He sighed and put the apron on.

  “You know if I have to take my shirt off, so do you.”

  “No, you have to focus. I don’t.”

  He pulled out the ingredients and dumped them into a huge copper pot. The cook time would give him plenty of time to figure out how to tell the rest of his story and hope she didn’t leave him.

  Lukas zoned out while he was working. Watching him stir was hypnotic, and shirtless had definitely been the way to go. The muscles in his shoulders and back constricted and released as he moved.

  “Tess, can you grab the butter for me?”

  “Sure.”

  She pulled it out of the fridge.

  “How much do you want me to put in?”

  “The whole thing.”

  Tess gasped. “That’s…” She looked at the package. “Three pounds of butter.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, I know. Good stuff. Cut it up first then put it in. I’m going to keep stirring.”

  She found a knife and cut the butter into chunks. “How do you do this when you’re alone?”

  “I usually prep it ahead of time. But you distracted me, and I forgot. Good thing you’re here, right?”

  She dumped the chunks of butter in the pot and leaned against the wall, watching him.

  “Can I ask you something?” Lukas looked at her with a pained expression.

  “Sure,” she replied, nervous.

  “This morning, before I got into the shower, did you tell me you loved me?”

  His expression was unreadable. She wanted to know what he wanted to hear. He noticed her hesitation.

  “Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me the truth.”

  She sighed. “Yes, I did. But I didn’t think about it, so I don’t know if I meant it or not.”

  “Those things are usually the most honest when they are said like that.”

  “Maybe. I know I have real feelings for you, and I also know that no man has ever treated me the way you do. I don’t know. I’ve never been in real love before. How am I supposed to know if it’s true or not?”

  He moved over to a table, picked up four metal bars, and placed them along the edges. “I don’t know, but, Tess, if you think it’s possible you might fall in love with me, you have to know something.”

  She hated conversations like this. This was where he’d say something awful, like he would never love her or he was going to die in two months. But now the cat was out of the bag, she had to know.

  He poured the deep chocolate liquid from the large copper pot onto the table. The metal bars kept it from flowing off the table.

  “So, what is it?”

  He took a large paddle with a four-foot long handle and moved the fudge around the table.

  “I don’t talk about this often. People think they know what happened, but those are mostly rumors and only partially true.”

  He stopped talking, but continued to move the fudge around. Tess wondered about the warnings she got from the PTA moms. Marie too. She always assumed that he was a heartbreaker. That when spring came, he flirted terribly with the tourists or always had a new girlfriend or something along those lines. She swallowed and steeled herself. This was his big secret.

  “Can I help with that?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “Sorry, I’ve got a system. Another time, I’ll teach you. Anyway, I had two kids.”

  Tess felt the knot in her chest loosen. That wasn’t bad at all. Her own secret wouldn’t be so awful if that’s what he was hiding.

  “That’s not a problem. I like kids.”

  “No, that’s not it.” His voice was tense and hard. “Six months before my wife left me, I was home alone with them. They were three and four.”

  That was not a way anyone started a happy story. She found a stool and sat down, not sure where this was going.

  “I was in the house working on some business plans. The kids were watching a movie.” He wouldn’t look at her. “I wasn’t a good dad. It was easy for me to park them in front of the TV while I worked. A little while later, Dio came into the room barking and carrying on. I was in the middle of something, and so I picked her up, set her outside that door, and shut it.” His voice cracked.

  Tess held her breath.

  “Dio wouldn’t leave me alone though. She barked and clawed at the door. Eventually I went out and yelled to shut up. She grabbed my pant leg and pulled. At least I had enough sense to follow her at that point, but by then it was too late. I found the back door open and two sets of shoes on the shore. I couldn’t even see their bodies. They washed up a little ways down the beach an hour later.”

  Tess sat on the stool, frozen in place. The regret etched on his face was clear, but it was the guilt that broke her heart. That was a heavy burden to carry. No wonder his marriage crumbled.

  “I’m sorry,” she finally said.

  “Me too. I’ve never been so sorry for anything else in my life. You must think I’m an awful person.”

  “No. I think it was a tragic accident. You didn’t mean for that to happen.” Her voice clogged with tears. His pain was so visible, but she was afraid he would take her crying as pity, and he wouldn’t want that.

  “Well, you should know that there are people on the island who still won’t speak to me because of what happened. Stacey left me because of it.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.”

  “How can you say that? I neglected them.”

  She approached him and took his hands. “I dare you to find me one parent who hasn’t put a movie on to get a few moments of peace.”

  He took a deep breath. “But I should’ve taken them down to the beach and played with them. I was a horrible father. You should know I’m never having kids. I can’t bear the thought of screwing up that bad again. If we’re going to be together, you’ll be giving up motherhood.”

  So that was it. He assumed because he didn’t want kids she would bail on him. She nearly ran her hand over her belly, but curled her fingers into a fist in her lap instead.

  “You think we’ll be together that long?” she asked.

  He stopped what he was doing and stared at her hard. “I see it,” he said. She squirmed. Now would be a perfect time to spill her secret.

  He set the paddle on the edge of the table and pulled her off the stool, into his arms.

  “I’m madly in love with you,” he said, his breath fluttering across her cheek. “You’ve stolen my heart in way that no one ever has. I don’t want you to leave.”

  She smiled tightly. This was the last opportunity to be honest with him. After today, she’d be living a lie. But she looked at his grin and the hope in his eyes, and she lied.

  “Okay. I can live with that.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “No. But I can for now. If I ever change my mind, you’ll be the first to know. Is that okay?”

  “I’ll take you for as long as you’ll have me. And if you leave me someday because you want to become a mom, I’ll fully support your decision.”

  He didn’t know it, but that day could come sooner rather than later.

  Lukas didn’t mean it. He would fight tooth and nail for her if
she ever decided to leave him. He felt guilty for keeping her from having kids. But he was a horrible father, and he wouldn’t put any kid through that ever again.

  He watched her as she packaged the fudge up. He loved the way her body moved. He was pretty sure he never even felt this way about Stacey. Maybe at first. That had deteriorated quickly once the boys were gone. There was nothing left.

  Tess accepted him without hesitation. That was more than he could possibly ask for. Relief swooped through him. He truly expected her to run away screaming when he told her what happened.

  “Truthfully, you hadn’t heard my story?” he asked. “About the boys?”

  She shook her head. The PTA moms must be getting soft. Or maybe time did erase things. It had only been two years though.

  “Mrs. Hinshaw did tell me to watch out for you, but I figured she was trying to warn me you were a womanizer.” She laughed.

  If several years down the road she asked him to have kids, he wondered if he would agree to it. He didn’t know. It was possible.

  Her phone rang, and she pointed at it. “Can you get that?”

  “What if it’s your mom?”

  “Then you can talk to her.”

  He picked up the phone.

  “Hello,” he said.

  “Oops, Lukas, I meant to call Tess,” said Marie.

  “Yeah, this is her phone. How are you guys doing?”

  “Good, going stir crazy. You two lovebirds want to come down to our house later and play canasta?”

  He creased his eyebrows. “What makes you think we are lovebirds?”

  “You’ve been stuck in your house for the past five days all alone. The chemistry between you two was undeniable. How long did it take before things exploded?”

  “You know, Marie, I’m not real comfortable talking to you about this stuff. Why don’t you ask Tess?”

  She laughed. “She’ll say the same thing you did. You two in or not?”

  He sighed. “Yeah, of course. We’re at the shop now and should be done in an hour or so. Does that work?”

  “See you then.” She hung up the phone.

  “Who was that?” asked Tess.

  “Marie. She wants us to come over and play canasta. Have you ever played?”

  “Nope. That’s a new one. I’m sure you can teach me though.”

  “That I can, but Marie plays dirty. We’re going to get slaughtered.”

  He fidgeted with the phone. “You know what the first thing Marie asked me was?”

  Tess shook her head. “What’s that?”

  “If we had hooked up.”

  Tess laughed out loud. “That sounds like Marie. What’d you tell her?”

  “That she should ask you.”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  “No problem.”

  He boxed the fudge she packed and put the shipping labels on all of them. He set them in the back room and sent a text to his delivery guy that they were ready to be picked up.

  “I told Marie to give us an hour. I want to show you something.” Lukas grinned. He’d been waiting for enough melt to show her the ice wave.

  They locked the shop, and once she was safely tucked in front of him on the sled, he took off on the slick streets. The plows were out. They were smaller than anything she’d have seen on TV, made especially for the island and the narrow streets. They looked like golf carts with plows attached to the front. But she was from Miami. Snowplows were all probably the same to her.

  Gavin Chambers honked as they flew by. Lukas waved.

  “You work with Sara Chambers, right?” he shouted into her ear. She nodded. Anything she said would have been caught in the wind. “That was her husband back there.”

  The plows had done an excellent job. The streets were passable. Lukas turned off toward the docks.

  The ice wave rose over the ferry office. Tess pointed. Lukas was thrilled it was so impressive this time.

  He drove out onto the ice and turned off the snowmobile about thirty yards from the frozen wave.

  Tess pulled off her scarf.

  “What is that?” She removed her goggles and looked at him.

  “Ice. Here.” He climbed down and reached for her. She’d been reluctant to ride in front of him at first, but he was glad she gave in. Holding her tight, instead of feeling her on his back, had been a thrill.

  They skidded closer to the wave. Their snow boots had a hard time finding traction here. He should have thought to bring the spikes.

  “How?” Her big, brown eyes were even bigger and wider as she took in the wall of ice that could have given a small glacier a run for its money.

  “When the lake freezes, it expands. The blizzard came on so fast and dumped so much snow that the water that hadn’t frozen under the ice had nowhere to go and pushed straight through. When it hit the subzero temps, it froze in place,” he explained as best he could. It was an unusual phenomenon that typically only happened in certain places. Mackinac being one of them.

  “Does it do this every year?”

  The ice was pure blue with some variations where the different layers had frozen at different rates.

  “Not every year and definitely not on this scale. If it’s over by the bridge, the wave can be almost as tall. I’ve only seen that once though.” He loved the wonder on her face. Miami couldn’t top that.

  Tess was frozen all the way through by the time they got to the Jorgenson’s. She was excited to see Marie and Doc again. Canasta was new, and she was nervous about playing, but she figured she’d survive.

  Marie met them at the door. “Thanks for coming. Doc and I are ready to throttle one another. We needed some new blood in the house.”

  Lukas smiled at her. “We’re happy to save your marriage.”

  Marie swatted him on the arm.

  “It’s not that bad.” She took a step back. “Okay, maybe it is. Lukas, Doc’s in the kitchen. I want to talk to Tess for a few minutes.”

  Lukas wiggled his eyebrows, and she gave him a smirk. He thought Marie was going to ask about their love life, but Tess suspected Marie was going to talk to her about her pregnancy.

  Marie dragged her into a side room and shut the door. It was an office.

  “So, spill.” Marie pulled out a chair for her. “He got weird when I called.”

  Tess laughed. “He got weird when you started asking questions.”

  Marie shrugged. “I guess it’s like being asked about your sex life by your mom.”

  Tess forgot Hayden. Yeah, no wonder he left talking to Marie to her.

  “First, I should tell you I got your blood test results. All clear.”

  Tess let out a breath of relief. “That’s fantastic. Thank you.”

  “Does Lukas know?”

  “About the baby? No. And I’m not going to tell him until I have to, so please don’t say anything.”

  “Has he told you his story? Don’t you think he has a right to know?”

  Tess chewed on her bottom lip.

  “I heard what happened to his boys,” she said slowly, cautiously. Would Marie agree that he should never have kids again? “I think that might make the adoption route more reasonable.”

  “Just so you know, I think he’s full of crap. Lukas is scared, but that is no reason for him to completely shut himself off. He looks more relaxed than I’ve seen in ages.” Marie reached over and grabbed her hands. “This decision is huge, and I think you should talk it over with him.”

  Tess shook her head. Her guilt was a thousand pound weight on her chest, but she couldn’t tell Lukas. Not yet. If he left her now, she’d be broken. The risk was too great. She had a few more months to think things through.

  Marie sighed.

  “Have you told your mom yet?” she asked.

  “No. You’re still the only one who knows.”

  Marie squeezed her hand. “I’m not going to say anything. But you can’t keep this bottled up. Tell those who are closest to you because you can’t do this on your own. Lukas is a go
od man. He’s not going to desert you because you are pregnant.”

  Tess sniffed. “He might.”

  “Doubt it. He’ll probably be angry that you kept it from him though.”

  A new voice echoed through the house, and Marie groaned.

  “I should have known she’d find a way in.”

  “Who?”

  “Estelle. Let me tell you. She was with him when they found the boys that awful afternoon. It’s her personal mission to see him settled. She’ll either be your greatest advocate or your worst enemy.” Marie stood and shook the wrinkles out of her sweater.

  “I met her once.”

  Marie pulled her up and locked arms with her.

  “We’ll face her together.”

  “Is she that bad?” Tess laughed nervously.

  “No, of course not, but we’re, I guess you could say, we’re rivals.”

  There was a story there. How could the island doctor be rivals with Lukas’s housekeeper?

  Marie threw open the door and drug Tess out.

  “Estelle!” she exclaimed like she was happy as pie to see the older woman.

  “Think you can play canasta without me?” Estelle wore a giant yellow floppy hat. It was completely impractical for this time of year. Estelle crossed her arms and glared at Marie. So they were rivals over cards. Tess giggled.

  Lukas leaned against the doorway to the kitchen, eating a sandwich. He winked at Tess, and her knees went weak.

  “Estelle, Tess is going to be our fourth.”

  She snorted and pointed at Tess. “Do you know how to play?”

  “No,” she said.

  “Then I’m her consultant. Don’t shy away from true competition, Marie.” Estelle grinned.

  Marie shook her head. “Alright. Tess, are you and your consultant ready to get your hiney kicked?”

  The next four weeks passed in a blur. The snow melted, and Tess was able to get into her house but only stayed long enough to grab more clothes. In the month following the blizzard, she hadn’t spent one night at home. School kept her occupied during the day, and Lukas kept her busy at night. Her stomach was growing but not very fast since she was only a few months along. Marie said that was normal, but that she had to tell Lukas soon.