Seduce Me

by Ryan Michele

  “Nothing.” It’s my answer to his question every time he asks.

  “Let’s watch a movie, you pick.” He pushes.

  “No.” I walk around to the fridge, opening the door and closing it just as quickly. Nothing sounds good and my stomach roils just thinking about food. Crackers… Maybe crackers.

  “What’s that noise?” Jace moves towards me trying to figure out where it’s coming from. And I listen hearing a slight sound and instantly know.

  Shit. “That’s my phone. I need to find it.” I slowly look for the pre-paid phone that if I don’t answer will set off a shit storm back at the club that I am in no way shape or form able to handle at the moment.

  Digging through the pile of papers, I find it inside my brown bag. I quickly swipe the screen and put on my happiest voice I can come up with. Faker.

  “Hey.” I answer quickly moving away from Jace.

  “Hey Hoochie! When you coming to see me?” The happiness in Harlow’s voice radiates through the phone only making me feel lower.

  “I can’t come right now. Classes and work.” Lying to her sucks. I always hate it and rarely do it, but this time it is a necessary evil. The clearing of a throat makes my eyes lift to Jace’s who shakes his head. I glare at him not needing his shit right now. Why won’t he just go away?

  I turn my back hoping to snub him. “How’s life up in Cherry Vale?

  Horrible. “Great. Everything’s going good.”

  “You’re lying to me.” My breath catches and I sit there for a beat. “You’re never this happy or perky, even when you’re in a good mood. Care to tell me what the hell is going on?”

  The hand holding my phone begins to shake and my happy resolve is beginning to fade. I think quick, “School’s just tough, but I’m getting it. Everything is fine.” I try to say reassuringly.

  “Yeah. Right. I don’t believe you, something is up. And I will find out what it is.” My heart stops. “I’ll drop it for now, but I won’t forget. Cruz and Cooper send their love. Cooper is just a great little boy Casey. He’s growing up so fast. I wish you were here to see it.” Tears well up in my eyes for the baby that I will never see grow, never see take her first steps or her first bite of real food, never get to hold. I move the phone away from my face and blow out a deep breath, bringing it back to my mouth, trying to calm myself.

  “Tell them I miss them too. Low, I have a huge test coming up. I’ve really got to go.” Or else I am totally going to lose my shit.

  “Alright. I know something’s not right. You’d better be okay. If you don’t tell me by the next time I call, I’m coming up there.” Shit. Harlow never gives up.

  “Yep. Just busy. I’ll call you back soon. Okay?”

  “Alright. Love you.”

  “Love you too.” I click the phone off quickly; my legs give out, my ass hits the floor with a thud, my body follows behind it. Jace immediately wraps his arms around me, picking me up, cradling me to his chest like an infant. Tears fall rapidly down my face and Jace clutches me tight to his chest.

  Pulling up to a wide open space, Rabbit’s crew is waiting for us. These past few months with Rabbit have been rocky as shit. From shootouts, beat downs, destruction of property and Babs, Rabbit’s ol’ lady, setting Princess up and kidnapping Cooper her son, it’s been a giant cluster fuck. We handled it but not exactly how we wanted to. Supposedly, Diamond says it’s all fine and wonderful. Sure. Rabbit hasn’t gotten what he deserves yet.

  Rabbit stands next to his bike with several of his guys lining the way, each having guns in their hands, which is typical. If they didn’t, I’d think something is up.

  Diamond, Pops, Dagger, Rhys, Cruz, Zed, Becs and myself all climb off our bikes putting our lids on the bars, while Tug, Breaker and Buzz slowly park the large cage that housed everything we would need, just in case. Diamond steps forward, but before a word escapes his mouth, shots are fired loudly all around us. Every brother scrambles to get behind our bikes as shields. It’s the best we’ve got at the moment.

  Looking around quickly, each man has their guns drawn firing rapidly. Looking across the lot, Rabbit’s crew has moved back from where they were standing, but not shooting, their guns at their sides. But their eyes are cold and locked on all of us. Searching for where the shots are coming from, out from the side, a local crew called the T-Darts come at us guns blazing. One shot after another barely missing us as the pings of the bullets hit the bikes guarding us.

  Stepping slightly out from behind a large tree, Paine, the President of the T-Darts, aims at us hard. His void eyes are focused and controlled. This is serious shit. “We gotta get the fuck out of here!” I yell to all the guys trying to motion them to the cage.

  “Get behind us!” Dagger yells to Diamond, but he doesn’t fucking listen, the damn stubborn ol’ man. Instead, he starts moving with the rest of us guns still blazing.

  “Pops behind me!” I yell, but he is just as bullheaded as Diamond and continues to move with us.

  Diamond barks, “Get to the cage! Now!”

  Shot after shot hit the dirt and our bikes ringing off into the distance. Trying to keep an accurate account on where all the shots are coming from is getting fucking difficult. We move quickly and keep pace with each other. Diamond is moving right in front of me as I try to position my body in front of him.

  Loud grunts. Fuck. Diamond. Blood pours out of his body. Using every bit of strength I have, I push him hard to the cage and watch him fall to the ground. Rushing to him, a sharp, searing pain flows through my body. Instantly, my legs give out, crashing me to the ground.

  Fuck! I clutch my gun tightly in my hand continuously shooting even though the pain is raging. Cruz grabs underneath my arms, dragging me towards the cage. Reaching it, my arms fall to the side, my body no longer having the energy to hold them up. I can hear words, but everything is so fucking muffled it’s as if I’m underwater floating. More noises and some movement, but I am useless, nothing wants to work on my body. I try, but everything is still. I feel my eyes slowly begin to shut. I will them to stay open, but it’s too much and I give in. The last thing I see is Casey’s beautiful face before everything goes dark.

  “Wake up you dick!” Princess’ voice is so fucking loud, like she’s got one of those bull horns up against my ear. My head is fucking pounding and my body almost completely numb. Trying to roll over, my body is instantly halted by something big and strong. My body is too weak and numb to fight it off. I can’t do anything but lay there.

  “G.T. wake your fucking ass up now!” Princess barks louder this time. I want to answer her and tell her to shut the fuck up, but my mouth is dry and I’m finding it difficult to open it. Trying to open my eyes, I fight to get just one lid open, but nothing. Then darkness finds me again and Princess’ voice fades in the distance.

  “Doc, I gave him the meds like you said, but he isn’t waking up. Ma’s been here non-stop and hasn’t seen anything. And I only saw him move that first day and then pass out. What the fuck is going on?” Princess’ voice is coming in much clearer than before and I’m actually able to process the words she is saying.

  I try opening my eyes again, but the fuckers feel like they have duct tape keeping them shut to my face. Searing pain is moving through my chest and shoulder and when I try moving it, again, nothing happens. Panic hits me. What the fuck is wrong with me?

  “Calm your ass down young lady.” Doc scolds Princess. “He lost a lot of blood. I pumped him full, but it’ll take some time to get him back on track. And the morphine knocks him out. Let’s cut back half on the morphine and see if he wakes up.”

  Morphine. Meds. That’s why I can’t move my fucking body. That answer I can handle. At least I’m not fucking dead.

  “Fine.” Princess clips. I can feel a presence at my side. “Come on asshole. Wake up so I can be pissed at you.”

  “Princess!” Ma yells out. “Don’t!” Fucking great, they’re both here.

  “Come on Ma. You know he’s not gonna respo
nd to me breathing sweet nothings in his damn ear. I need to get Casey’s ass here. She’d be able to wake him up.” Her name. Casey. God I want to see her, smell her, and feel her.

  “Yeah, she would alright.” Ma mutters. “You two need to knock this shit off now. He wakes up, you fix whatever this is.”

  “Me fix it? He’s the one that got pissed at me Ma. How the hell can I?”

  “Figure it out!” Ma said, as I feel her squeeze my hand.

  “He’ll get through this Ma.” Princess says.

  “He’d damn well better.”

  I tune them out and thoughts of my beautiful girl drift me back off to sleep.

  Her blonde hair whips in the wind as I see her sitting on a picnic table. I’ve seen her there so many damn times and she’s always wearing barely anything. If I didn’t know better I’d think she was trying to fit in with the momma’s, but she would never. This is just her.

  I walk slowly up to her, her eyes widen in surprise as I grip her in my arms slamming my lips to hers. It only takes her a moment and she is there with me, kissing every inch of me back.

  The entire world disappears and there is only the two of us in the middle of the courtyard, nothing else exists. I kiss down her neck, licking as I go, tasting the sun and sweat on her skin. Her moans and whimpers push my drive.

  I pull the small scrap of fabric she calls a shirt over hear head, pull her tits out of her bra and suck hard. Her body arches off of the table and she screams my name.

  “Please” she begs. I rip her shorts off along with my jeans, sliding into her in one thrust. In and out, I set the rhythm and she meets me move for move…

  I startle to the sound of Pop’s voice. “What’s the latest?” He bellows a distance away from me, pulling me out of my dream.

  “He’s been moving a bit more and moaning something, but hasn’t opened his eyes.” Princess replies her voice sounding tired.

  My eyes feel laced with sand, scratchy gritty sand, dry as a desert. But I so badly want to open them, but my fucking body will not listen. If I’m not dead, I sure as hell don’t want to lay here listening to Princess bellow day in and day out for the rest of my life. Trying with everything I have, I slowly pry one eye open, the grittiness from the sand making it difficult to see.

  “Shit.” Pops voice says coming closer to me. “Boy… Boy can you hear me?”

  My throat is raw and stuck. Trying to clear it, I make some unusual sounds and grunts. Finally, I open both my eyes and blink repeatedly trying to focus them on the blurry figures in front of me. I know who they are by their voices, but they are one big grainy blob. As they slowly come into focus, Pops stands next to me, arms crossed over his chest, his breathing heavy. Looking into his eyes, pain is ripping through them. “Diamond,” I croak out my voice nothing like its normal self.

  “He’s gone brother.” The pain in Pops voice is deep.

  “Shit.” I groan. The weight of what happened begins to crush me. I didn’t push him out of the way quick enough. I didn’t fucking save him. It’s my fucking fault.

  “How are you feeling?” Ma asks standing on the other side of me, knocking me out of my thoughts. Her hand sweeps the hair away from my eyes.

  “Like shit.” I croak out like a damn frog.

  “You scared the shit out of us!” Princess yells from the end of the bed, but I’m unable to lift my head to see her.

  “Nice to see you too sis.” Fighting with her is not on the top of my to-do list at the moment, but knowing her, she won’t give me much of a choice.

  Glancing over at Pops and ignoring Princess, “What’s the plan?”

  “You get better then we’ll talk.” He dismisses.

  “You Prez?” Pops nods his head but doesn’t say a word. I grunt turning away mumbling to whoever would listen and answer. “How long am I down?”

  Princess cuts in. “Don’t know yet you stubborn asshole. But you mark my fucking words, while you’re lying here; we talk and get this shit taken care of.” I close my eyes silently wishing for Princess to disappear. “No getting out of talking this time.” The finality in her words is annoying as hell because there is no fucking way I’m telling her shit, especially while I’m lying here and can’t get the fuck away from her.

  “I’m proud of you.” Bella’s stormy eyes focus on mine and I stare blankly back wondering what the hell she’s talking about. Since my baby died, I’ve been a walking zombie. “You are an amazing woman.”

  I chuckled softly. “No. I’m not. If I were amazing as you put it, I would have known how to save my baby.”

  “Babe. There was nothing you could have done. Nothing and it is not your fault.” The sincerity in her eyes is too much. I grunt and turn away from her. This past week has sped by so fast, but I did go to class several times and I have gotten caught up on all the assignments that I missed. It’s been nice to focus on something other than my baby being gone.

  I’m being a total bitch to both Bella and Jace, but I can’t seem to help myself. The anger inside of me keeps bubbling over, splashing to the floor like hot lava. I want my baby back. Over this past week, I determined that my baby was a girl and I’ve named her Mia. When I told Bella and Jace, they turned and looked at each other, but neither of them said a word to me about it.

  Mia was a person, she was my person and I refuse to sweep her under the rug as if she never existed.

  Bella places a hand on my shoulder, my body tenses. “Casey. You are an unbelievably strong woman. You’ve made choices that I don’t know if I could have made, to make your life better with your baby. Life dealt you a shit blow, but your strength will get you through this.”

  Tears brim my eyes, I turn into Bella’s arms and silently cry. Wishing the pain to go away, I release her, head to my room and pull the covers over my head.

  When I awake, the sun is beginning to lower, casting shadows out on the world, exactly like I’m feeling, dark and shadowed. I walk into the kitchen the smell of basil invades my nose. Bella is moving around the kitchen, moving from place to place quickly grabbing utensils and ingredients out of the cabinet like a well-oiled machine. I breathe in deep again this time the smell of tomatoes or sauce flowing through me, my stomach growling reminding me that it’s been a long time since I’ve really eaten. “How ya doing?” She asks stirring something in a pot.

  “Alright. Sorry about earlier.”

  Bella comes over and wraps her arms around me tightly. “No need. That’s what I’m here for. We will get through this together.” I nod and embrace her tightly.

  “Whatcha making? I’m hungry.” Bella pulls away from me, looking into my face questioningly.

  “Really? I think that’s the first time you’ve said that in weeks.” She smiles. “Spaghetti.”

  “Sounds good.” I slide up to the kitchen island grabbing a napkin. I begin tearing it into very small pieces without even thinking about it. My appetite is slowly coming back, but I can only handle small bits of food or I feel like I’ll puke.

  “Your phone over there has been going off like crazy. I put it on silent ‘cause I didn’t want it to wake you.” She points over to my pre-pay and only one person calls me on it.

  My stomach hits the floor. There is no way that I want to talk to Harlow right now. Just hearing about her family, guts me. I want to be happy for her. She deserves it. But just hearing about how perfect Cooper and Cruz are kills me on the inside. I don’t want to be jealous of my best friend, but I can’t help it. She has everything that I’ve ever wanted and I’m totally alone, again. But if I don’t call her soon, Harlow will send out the cavalry to hunt me down.

  “What’s wrong?” Bella asks, looking away from her pot.

  “I just don’t know if I can talk to Harlow. Does it make me a horrible person to not want to hear about how perfect her family is?”

  Bella puts the spoon down and sits next to me at the island. “You need to tell her what happened Casey.” I gasp and she reaches for my hand squeezing it softly. “No, really. Y
ou need to tell her. She’s been your best friend for years and from what you’ve told me she sounds like an understanding woman. You also need to tell the baby’s father.”

  “I had every intention of telling them both. I wanted to wait until I knew if it was a boy or a girl. Harlow was just going through so much I didn’t want to add to her problems. And G.T., he wanted nothing to do with me.” I look down at the shredded napkin in front of me. “I’ve known him my whole life and part of me was so terrified that he’d reject the baby, now it just doesn’t matter.” Bella squeezes harder.

  “It does matter.”

  “He sees me as just another piece of ass and I can’t do that to myself. It kills me. I’ve been in love with him for so long that the thought of having a part of him growing inside of me made me stronger. How pathetic is that?” I shake my head.

  “It’s not pathetic. You are strong with or without the baby. You have to know that.”

  I give her a small smile, not totally believing her words. “I came to school to make something of myself for Mia and me. Now, I don’t know what I need to do. I’m kinda lost.”

  “It’s okay to not know. You put one foot in front of the other and move. That’s all you can do right now.”

  I look over at the phone. “How many times did it go off?” I ask.

  “Probably ten or more.”

  I jump from my seat. There is no way that Harlow would call that many times in a row unless something is wrong. Grabbing the phone, I look and there are thirteen missed calls and the voicemail button is flashing. I don’t bother checking the messages, I just call her back.

  Harlow answers on the first ring.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask immediately.

  “Get your shit and get home now.” Harlow’s voice is panicked.

  “What’s going on Low?” I ask using the nickname I gave her when we were kids.