The Good Neighbor: A Novel
Page 21
All of these things had made sex with Austin appealing so far for Rory, but it wasn’t enough. Rory had long stretches of road that needed to be covered, which Austin had no idea even how to map. Rory looked at him so close to his eyes, his smooth cheek betraying not a shade of darker beard. For a forty-year-old man, Austin was an innocent. Rory knew it was time he took over to show Austin where they needed to go.
And so, for an hour more, Rory led and Austin followed. Yet, despite Rory’s repeated attempts to make himself accessible, Austin could not make himself go to the ultimate joining that gay sex approximated with his own straight experience. Finally, their groins aching with the unfulfilled need for thrust and reception, Rory and Austin sweatily slid apart. As they lay panting in the morning’s heat that flowed into the small office from the open windows, Austin threw his arm over his eyes, and Rory leaned back on elbows. “I’ve got to come soon,” Rory said plainly.
Austin nodded in reply. “Me too,” he admitted.
Rory looked down at him. Austin was flushed all over with the effort of his exertions and their lack of resolution. “Don’t you want to fuck me,” Rory asked directly.
Again, Austin nodded from under his covered eyes. He lay hiding himself for long moments more before he dropped his arm away from his face and turned on his side toward Rory. “I want to,” he said, “But I’m not ready…”
Rory was tempted to ask what he was ready for, but Austin continued before he could respond.
“When I was a kid, I tried it. I liked it a lot. It’s really tight and everything… , but I got this infection. It was so embarrassing. I had to sneak to the public health center. I rode my bike over because I couldn’t explain to my father why I needed the car. I was so scared I had VD. It really freaked me out. They made me answer all these questions. I had to admit… , I had to say I’d been with this other boy. It turned out to be just this simple infection in my urethra. But now… now I don’t, I can’t go through that again.”
Rory nodded and smiled at him gently. “I bet you don’t even have any condoms, do you?”
Austin gave him an incredulous look. “I’ve been married for nearly twenty years. Why would I need condoms?”
Rory answered by placing his warm palm on the inside of Austin’s thigh and stroked him gently, his thumb just barely caressing the underside of Austin’s scrotum. “It’s okay. No problem,” he said softly.
Austin allowed himself to be petted, but growled in frustration. “I never thought you’d say yes,” he said resentfully.
In response, Rory simply urged him up and into another position where he could at once administer to Austin and still take himself in an experienced grip. Within a scant few minutes, they were both sated. Austin was stunned and grateful at Rory’s refusal to turn his head away, even as he climaxed, and Rory was simply interested in the man’s reactions to the end. As for himself, Rory’s hand was an old partner in accompanying his own fantasies. Now he had a willing new partner to indulge along the way. He climaxed happily despite the obstruction of the drug that he’d allowed himself to help him come as far as he did.
Finished, there was little left for either one to say. They both dressed quickly, avoiding the other’s eyes. As Austin was doing up his pants, Rory saw the clock on his desk. He noted the time and thought of the long hours of the day ahead to think about what he’d just done. There was much time left to either brood over the simple facts or to relish the memory of it. He thought of the brown bottle waiting at the back of his dresser drawer. Quickly he weighed how much he might need to stave off any guilt against taking too much. He decided a half of a pill would be enough, and he yearned to be out of this room, this house, and as far away from Austin as he could get.
“I still want to kiss you,” Austin said and laughed nervously.
Rory smiled. “It would be a little stupid to just shake hands right now,” Rory said and allowed Austin a rueful chuckle of his own.
Austin stepped to him and at first merely brushed his lips. Then he looked at Rory’s upturned face and kissed him fully. The kiss intimated more than he could articulate and betrayed a renewed hunger for more. Rory responded by hugging him close, but only briefly. Austin let him go and took a step toward the door. “Next time, I’ll be ready,” he said awkwardly.
Inwardly, Rory rebelled at the notion that there would be a next time, but he knew there would be. He had awakened his own curiosity in the most convenient way possible. “I… I’ll be looking forward to it,” he admitted.
Austin smiled and led the way out of his office and down the stairs to the sliding door in the family room. Before he unlocked and opened the door, he looked searchingly into Rory’s eyes. Finding them open, frank, and unashamed, he stiffly said, “Thanks,” ultimately unable to say anything more.
Rory fought the urge to touch him in reply. Instead, he lowered his eyes and nodded, and waited for Austin to open the door.
5150 ST. MARK’S COURT
WHEN RORY LET himself back into his house, he walked straight into the bedroom and got the bottle of Oxycontin from his dresser drawer. Bridget snuffled along behind him curiously and sniffed at him with unfettered enthusiasm. As he took the bottle back to the kitchen, she happily followed along with him, unable to contain her interest in his strange new scents. It made Rory shudder. Bridget’s frank animal interest was too close to his own feelings and reactions as he’d initiated and consummated his morning’s activities. He’d only fulfilled an animal need, divorced from any real caring or deeper connection. He felt like a dog.
With this in mind, he quickly cut a pill in two with his sharpest kitchen knife and returned half to the bottle before dry swallowing his bump. He made himself swallow twice more, tracking the sharp edges of the pill as it traveled down his throat. Once he was satisfied it was well down, he swatted at Bridget’s nose and made his way to her cookie jar.
“Cookie for you?” he teased. Bridget bobbed her big head agreeably. “Rory got a cookie. Cookie for me,” he said and selected a Milkbone from the jar. “Cookie for you,” he said as Bridget snapped at the treat and caught it in midair. Rory laughed. The big dog considered him gravely as she chewed. He imagined her look as accusing, having scented another man on his skin. Suddenly, he felt nauseous.
In all the years he’d been with Bruno, he’d never once cheated on him. It wasn’t as if he’d lacked opportunity. He’d had his share of chances. Not taking advantage of them was the one way he held the moral upper hand over his partner. It had been Bruno, after all, who had abandoned him unceremoniously when they were so much younger. Once Bruno was back, Rory had decided that was what he wanted more than anything else in the world, and he would pay for it with his fidelity. In all the years since they’d been back together, Rory had held himself firm in his commitment. He was nearly superstitious about it. Now, within the space of two hours, he had thrown all that away. Despite his anger with Bruno, he realized he was no longer any better. He gagged.
Fighting the urge to throw up, he got a glass from the cabinet and the milk from the refrigerator, and poured himself a fair amount. He stood at the counter and took small sips of the cold milk until the revolt in his stomach was soothed. Now he wished for a cigarette with an addict’s pure need. His open pack and lighter were outside where he left them, but he couldn’t stand the idea of walking outside under Austin’s seemingly ever-present gaze. He couldn’t imagine walking casually to Bruno’s stash box and, finding his face looking down at him, simply offering Austin a friendly wave before retrieving his cigarettes and returning inside. He could still feel him on his skin. He could smell him still.
Instead of going outside for his cigarettes, Rory turned and searched the kitchen drawer where he kept his spare packs. Luckily, there was one pack left and one of many lighters that found their way into the drawer as well. He tamped the top of the pack against the counter and opened the box hungrily. Then, taking his milk, cigarettes, and an ashtray retrieved from under the kitchen sink, he sat at the
small kitchen table by the window that provided a sunny view of the pool deck. Luckily, the angle of the window’s view also gave a look out over the canal, but cropped any glimpse of Austin’s house. Rory sighed and lit his needed cigarette.
He smoked in silence. But for Bridget knocking around under the table and her deep sigh as she settled at his feet, the only sound was the hum of the air-conditioner and refrigerator. Rory welcomed the company of the white noise, but didn’t want any other distractions. He sat wandering his way back through the maze of his morning so far. The minutes ticked away until the bump of the drug eased him back into a place without recrimination. There he found that the edges of the fresh memory of having sex with Austin had softened and were tinted with a kind of pinkish-gold glow. For what it was, it wasn’t bad, he decided, as the time lengthened unnoticed and cigarette butts collected in the ashtray. And for the first time since he’d climaxed, he smiled. And, he nearly purred at the thought of his own performance on the sofa and on the floor. If Austin had found him attractive before, he concluded, he would have nothing but an increased appetite for him now. Unalloyed by guilt or any deep mental vivisection, it was a tremendously satisfying feeling.
The sudden, sharp ring of the phone made Rory jump. With the second ring, he considered letting the voice mail pick it up. Then, it occurred to him it might be news of Bruno’s brother. Quickly, he stood and picked up the phone from its place on the counter. “Hello,” he said tentatively.
“It’s me,” Bruno said.
“Hey,” Rory replied, unwilling to say more.
“I’m at LaGuardia waiting on a standby to Raleigh-Durham,” Bruno said.
“Okay,” Rory replied automatically. “You sure were able to get away quickly. How did the team take it? Didn’t you have a presentation this morning?”
“I talked to Shimon. He wasn’t really pleased. You know what he told me? He said, ‘We all have families, Will. But we need to be mindful of our priorities.’ The bastard.” Bruno said.
“So, I guess you weren’t there for the presentation,” Rory replied evenly.
“Oh no, I was there. It just took less time than I thought it would. I stayed mindful of my fucking priorities. I sat through the whole goddamn thing and then took the firm’s car service directly to the airport. I got here thirty minutes ago.”
Rory looked at the digital clock on the microwave. He was astounded to see it was after one o’clock.
“Rory, I need you to look in the lockbox on my closet shelf. You know, the fireproof one?” Bruno said urgently.
“I know what you mean,” Rory abruptly assured him.
His tone gave Bruno some pause. “There’s an envelope in it that’s got Brian’s name on it. It’s the documents giving me his power of attorney and his living will,” he explained patiently. “I need you call his surgeon’s office and fax all the pages to them. Here’s the number…”
“Wait a sec, let me get something to write with,” Rory said and scrambled to find a pen and a scrap of paper from the drawer under the phone. “Okay, shoot,” he said agreeably. He listened and wrote as Bruno recited the number and repeated it.
“And I need you to FedEx the originals to Mom’s house. Overnight it, for delivery by ten A.M., okay? Brian’s stabilized enough that they’re going to do the surgery tomorrow,” Bruno said anxiously.
“He never revoked that after he and Helen got back together after the separation?” Rory asked.
“No,” Bruno said firmly. “He still doesn’t trust that crazy bitch. That’s why Mom was so fierce about getting me down there.”
“Okay, Bruno. I’ll take care of it right away,” Rory said. “Anything else?”
“Only I love you,” Bruno breathed into his cell phone.
Rory didn’t answer.
“Rory? Rory are you still there? Goddamn it! Rory?” Bruno nearly shouted into the phone.
“I’m still here, I’m just trying to think of what to say,” Rory said carefully.
“Look, please say you love me. I’m about to get on a plane for chrissakes,” Bruno pleaded.
Rory sighed. “I do still love you, and that makes you the luckiest bastard on earth.”
“Baby, you know last night wasn’t about you…” Bruno said.
Rory laughed. “For once, Bruno, I really believe you.”
“Really, Rory? Because it was about work.” Bruno pleaded once more. “I work with her, I told you.”
“Oh, yeah. That’s right, it’s about work,” Rory said calmly. “It was about work the last time you left me. I believe that’s what you said.”
Bruno, stung, didn’t answer. “I’ve cleared standby, Rory. I got to go. Please tell me everything’s going to be okay. Please,” he said finally.
At just that moment Rory felt no more than pity for Bruno’s neediness despite his lack of concern in kind. “It’s okay, beast. Get on your plane. Give me a call later and let me know you got there safe and sound,” Rory said gently.
“Will you be there?” Bruno demanded.
“I love you, stupid. Where else would I be?” Rory said and hung up the phone.
5160 ST. MARK’S COURT
MEG HUNG UP the phone and sighed. For such a complicated chore, it had really gone rather smoothly after all. After the initial excitement of Austin’s announcement that he was returning to a normal, lucrative job had worn off, her mind went into overdrive. There was little time to waste. Once more, it had been her chore to collect the shards of details his announcement had scattered and to put their lives back into some semblance of order.
She stood up from her seat at the kitchen table and looked out the window to the pool deck. She saw the boys’ heads bobbing in the water as sleek as seals. They had no sense of the many threats that trailed them, from their wet chill in the late winter’s evening to the care of strangers. Likewise unconcerned, Austin sat in a lounge chair staring out over the canal’s moonlit surface without an apparent thought for the boys in the cold water of the pool. She felt as if she would have to look after them all forever.
Meg moved to the counter and refreshed her glass of wine. She absolutely refused to consider her parents’ many prohibitions, especially the one against alcohol. Her parents lived in simpler times; their choices and consequences were so unlike her own. With all she had on her, a second or even third glass of wine this evening was her due. She took a sip and then a deeper swallow from her glass and sighed. Once more she refreshed her glass and walked to the sliding glass door that led to the pool. Of course, it was open, as was the screen. A bright jolt of irritation shot through her as she made her way outside, deliberately closing the door behind her with perhaps more force than necessary.
The noise of the sliding glass door’s angry hiss made Austin turn from his contemplation of the canal and stilled the boys’ splashing. Satisfied that she had their attention, Meg sat on the edge of the lounge chair closest to the door and announced, “Family conference, okay guys?”
The boys paddled to the edge of the pool and clutched its rim to steady themselves in the water. She heard Austin sigh pointedly, and then she watched as he rose from his chair enough to angle its orientation to face her. She waited for him to say something, but he only offered his resigned attention, as did the boys in the pool.
“Okay,” Meg said and took a sip of her wine. She chose to address herself to the boys, as her news most directly affected them. Austin she would deal with privately. “Josh? Noah? You know your dad is going back to work in Boca, right?”
“That’s cool,” Noah said agreeably. Josh only glanced at his dad and then looked back to Meg and nodded.
“Well, that means some changes around here,” Meg said firmly. “You remember Mrs. Guiterrez?”
The boys nodded. Meg glanced at Austin, but found him staring off toward the house next door. “Well, Mrs. Guiterrez is coming back to work for us. She’s going to be picking you up from school and taking you to soccer and making us dinner. On Thursdays, she’s going to be here
all day doing housework. I want you to be respectful and helpful to her, because she’s doing us a tremendous favor. Is that understood?”
Josh looked at Noah, waiting for his response.
“Okay,” Noah said, “Whatever.”
“Whatever,” Josh echoed.
Meg was surprised by their equanimity. “Does that sound okay with you guys?”
“Sure,” Noah said and shrugged. “Somebody has to pick us up from school.”
“Mrs. Guiterrez is nice, she teaches us Spanish,” Josh said. “She cooks good too, las comidas latinas,” he explained.
And she listens to la musica latina,” Noah elaborated. “Yo quiero la salsa y meringue!”
“Yo soy Joshilito, tambien?” Josh said and splashed backwards into the water. Noah followed him and ducked underwater. In a moment there was a shriek from Josh as Noah tugged down his bathing suit. Struggling to keep his head above water, the little fellow kicked himself free of the bathing suit and waited for his brother’s head to pop up. Once Noah had emerged he roundly punched him on the side of the head. “No me moleste! he shouted.
Noah lunged for him and he screamed “No mejodas!”
“No me jodas!” Noah mimicked in a high-pitched voice. “No me jodas!”
Austin laughed out loud and merely watched their antics with obvious enjoyment.
“Austin? Say something!” Meg demanded.
Austin shot her an annoyed glance, but he said, “Boys! That’s enough. Apologize to your mother.” He looked at Meg and said, “I’m sorry, but it really was funny.”