by Emma Miller
The implied criticism stung a little. But she knew he was right. “Yes, Tanner should have gone,” she said. “But the nearest Amish school is farther than he could walk alone, and getting all the children organized to drive him back and forth would have taken a lot of effort, especially in bad weather.” She felt her cheeks and throat flush. “Besides, he’d just lost his father, and—”
“Not just, Honor,” Luke corrected. “It’s been more than a year since Silas died. It’s time Tanner was in school like every other boy his age. It is the state law. You can’t continue to coddle him.”
“I’m not coddling him,” she defended herself. “I intended to send him this coming September.”
“Good. We agree on that, too. And that’s why having Raymond’s boy in the neighborhood would be an asset. We can start a school with two children. We just have to figure out where we want to build it. And when Tanner’s a little older, he could walk, or we could buy him a pony to ride to school.”
“I’m not letting a young child ride a horse on the road. The traffic...”
Luke chuckled. “He won’t be seven for long. He’ll be eight and then nine. He’ll be responsible enough to be trusted with a horse. And you have to consider that the other boys will need schooling. Not to mention Anke.”
“Anke’s just a baby.”
Luke shook his head. “Freeman and I have talked about this. He and Katie are planning to sell off several plots, to encourage Amish families to settle near the mill. I think they’re even considering donating a little land to build a school. With them expecting.”
Honor looked down at her plate. It was unusual of an Amish man to comment on a woman being in the family way, but she thought she liked it. Too many men pretended babies just fell from God’s arms out of the sky.
“Your relatives have moved, either west or to Virginia, because land is so expensive here,” Luke went on. “But your soil is rich. For a small specialty farm or for those who are craftsmen, they don’t need a lot of acreage. And you don’t have the bitter winters we had in Kansas.”
Suddenly Honor was feeling a little overwhelmed. More decisions. She looked down at the napkin on her lap. “I’m still not sure that I should sell land. I have four children. Maybe I should save all of the farm for them.”
“I don’t want to put any pressure on you, Honor. But think of it. We could build a community like Seven Poplars. We’re only two families now, but in five years...”
“I will think about it,” she promised. “And I did know that Tanner had to go to school. I just didn’t think that it would hurt him to start a little later. I needed his help with the younger boys.”
But, as she said it, she realized how lame it sounded. Tanner really wasn’t that much help around the farm. At least, he hadn’t been until she and Luke had decided together that she needed to ask more of the children. It wasn’t easy to suddenly let someone else advise her on what to do with her sons, but there was a relief in not having to do it all alone.
She gave Luke a small smile. “I’ve been doing things on my own since Silas died,” she said. “I know everything will be different after we’re married, and I also know that will be a good thing. But...” Her smile deepened. “You’ll have to be patient with me, because this is all happening pretty fast.”
“Not fast enough for me.” He broke into a grin. “But then, I’ve been waiting for this wedding for a long time.”
Chapter Fifteen
The day of their wedding dawned bright and sunny, with only the slightest breeze and more blooming daffodils and early tulips than Luke had ever seen surrounding one house. He’d arrived at Sara’s at five thirty in the morning to find her already up and buzzing around the kitchen.
Two cups of her strong coffee later, he’d joined six couples in Sara’s hospitality barn where chickens were being prepared for roasting and trays of creamed celery, stuffing, apple crisp and pies were being assembled, ready for the commercial ovens. And more helpers would be arriving for a wedding where they were expecting nearly a hundred guests.
Luke had wanted a simple wedding, but there was no arguing with Sara once she set her mind on something. Several of his cousins and his brother and family had come from the Midwest to share in the happiness of the day, but Honor had few relatives. Most of the guests would be friends and neighbors and the extended Yoder family, as well as several of Sara’s clients. The awaited assurance of his baptism and standing in his home church had finally come through, and Honor’s bishop had agreed to perform the ceremony. Three couples would be sharing the Eck, or wedding table, with them: Freeman and Katie; Rebecca and her husband, Caleb; and a longtime friend of Honor’s, Mary Beth, and her husband, Moses, who had come from Kentucky.
Freeman helped Luke to set up chairs in the main room of the barn. The preaching service and the actual wedding ceremony would take place in the house, but the dinner and, later, the evening supper would be held here in the barn. This was a building that Sara had rescued and had remodeled for entertaining. As a professional matchmaker, Sara needed a place to bring couples together. The outside might look like a red barn, but inside the only similarity was the loft area. The downstairs space was spacious and as tidy as Sara’s living room, and the commercial kitchen was more than adequate for serving large groups of guests.
At eight o’clock, Sara bustled into the barn and inspected the preparations. The Eck had been set up in one prominent corner. Other long tables filled much of the remaining space. By custom, and for practicality, the Eck hadn’t been decorated with wedding flowers. Instead, there was a snowy white table covering, beautiful antique dishes and blue and white pottery pitchers, which would later be filled with cold water, lemonade and apple cider. There would be cakes, pies and candies, as well as bowls of apples and oranges. Sara made a few adjustments to napkins and place settings and pronounced the Eck perfect for the bride and groom.
“You’d better change into your good clothing,” she said to Luke. “It’s laid out for you in the men’s bunkhouse.” Sara chuckled. “Hannah sent over two new wool hats for you, since you seem to have such trouble holding on to yours.”
Luke grimaced, but took the teasing with good humor. Though he and Honor had chosen to have the wedding here instead of at Hannah and Albert’s home, Hannah had appointed herself his honorary mother. As part of their wedding gift, she’d sewn a complete set of clothing for him, including a black wool mutze, the formal coat wore by Amish men for church services and important events, matching trousers and a vest. The garments had taken hours and hours to complete, and Luke knew that, with care, they would last him for years.
As he walked to the small building where the matchmaker housed her visiting male clients, Luke could hardly contain his excitement. In just a short while, Honor would join him in an upstairs room of Sara’s house, where they would meet with the elders of the church. There, one of the preachers would speak to them about the duties and responsibilities of marriage and be certain that each entered this union of their own free will. Below, the guests would begin the first hymn of the service. He and Honor would follow the elders and the bishop downstairs and would take their seats near the front of the room.
The sermon would be two to three hours in length, after which the bishop would invite him and Honor to come up and exchange their vows. Luke’s heart beat faster and he thought of his promise to cherish and care for Honor, to respect her and remain with her for the rest of their lives. He would utter these words in front of God and all the witnesses, and she would repeat the same. A few more words from the bishop, and they would be married.
His chest felt tight; his throat clenched. So long he’d waited and prayed for this day. He was so happy that he might have been made of mist instead of flesh and blood, so light that he could have vaulted over the house in one leap.
Honor... His Honor. His family.
Almost feeling as if he was in a dr
eam, he dressed, his fingers wooden as he fumbled to pull up his stockings and adjust his suspenders. The trousers, coat and vest fitted him perfectly. How Hannah had managed it, he couldn’t guess. He’d never stood for a measuring. Honor had told him that she would be wearing blue. He loved her in blue. There would be no veil, no flowing train as the English women wore. Her new dress and apron, cape and kapp were exactly like those she wore to worship services, but after tonight, she would fold the garments carefully away to only be worn again on the day of her funeral.
He blinked, nudged out of his dreamy and pleasant thoughts by the prospect of Honor’s death. God willing, that would be far-off, in His time, when they had grown old together. Hopefully, there would be more children, grandchildren and even great-grandchildren before their time on Earth was ended.
Today was no time to think of partings or of the eternal life in Heaven that awaited those who lived according to God’s teachings. Today was about new beginnings, about taking up a life of promise and love, about being with Honor every day and every night. Together, they had promised each other. It was all he wanted. Together, they would make a home for their children and teach them the values that had been handed down through the generations by their faith.
“Luke!” After a quick knock on the door, Freeman opened it a crack. “Are you dressed? The preachers have arrived. You’d better move along. You don’t want to keep the bishop waiting.”
“Coming,” Luke said, putting on the first hat he could lay hands on. That, too, fitted him as well as... He chuckled. As well as if it had been made for him. How had Hannah guessed the exact size of his head? “I guess mothers know these things,” he murmured under his breath.
Luke joined Freeman outside on the sidewalk. “Is Honor here? Have you seen her?” He glanced around. Dozens of buggies were arriving. Teenage boys were taking charge of the horses. Clusters of guests were making their way into the house. Luke chuckled again. He’d thought he’d only been a few minutes in getting dressed. But he had been woolgathering. The time had flown. Excitement surged through him.
“Getting nervous?” Freeman asked. He strode shoulder to shoulder with him, a steady friend.
“Ne,” Luke answered. “Ya. I suppose I am.” He couldn’t help thinking back to the last time they’d intended to marry. Had he felt this excited? He didn’t think so. That seemed a lifetime ago, as though it had happened to another person. He’d been a boy then, too young and foolish to know what he wanted in life...too immature to realize what he was throwing away by walking out on her.
“There’s the bishop.” Freeman indicated the approaching buggy drawn by a gray mare. “You’d best get upstairs. Honor’s probably up there waiting for you.”
And scared out of her mind that I won’t show, Luke thought.
He went in through the back door, crossed the kitchen full of women and walked up the stairs. He couldn’t wait to see her...couldn’t wait to see her face. To marry her as he hadn’t been able to do that day years ago.
I’ll make it up to her, he promised silently. I’ll never let her down again.
The door to the designated chamber stood open. Rebecca waited just inside. But he didn’t see Honor anywhere. There were the two preachers and the deacon. There was Freeman’s uncle, a respected elder of the church. But there were no other women. He scanned the room twice before turning to Rebecca. “She’s not here yet?” he asked her quietly.
Rebecca’s concern showed on her lovely face. “Not yet,” she confirmed. “But she’ll be here any moment. Don’t worry. Katie and Ivy are bringing her. It’s quarter to nine. The service doesn’t start for another fifteen minutes.”
“It’s just...it’s not like Honor to be late,” he said. Honor always wanted to be at church a half hour before the first hymn. She thought it disrespectful to come in last. He exhaled softly and edged to the window to look out. Was it possible something had happened to delay them? An accident or mishap with the buggy? The horse throwing a shoe?
The bishop entered the room and shook hands all around. “Bride not here yet?” he asked. Someone made a joke about women primping on their special day, and everyone laughed but Luke.
Luke removed his hat and placed it on a dresser beside other hats. Warm dampness rose at the back of his shirt collar and he rubbed absently at his neck. The minutes ticked away. He went to the window again and then looked at Freeman.
“I’ll go down and check to see if she’s arrived,” his friend said. “I wouldn’t think Katie would let the time get away from her. Not today.”
One of the preachers began to tell about a longer-than-usual sermon he’d heard on a visit to an Amish community in western Virginia. It was an amusing tale, but the bishop laughed a little too loudly. Somewhere downstairs, a clock chimed.
“Nine o’clock,” the deacon remarked. He said something quietly to the bishop and then nodded at Luke as he exited the room.
“My apologies,” Luke said to the bishop. “I’m sure she’ll be here any minute.” He followed the deacon down the steps. As he left the house by the back way, the guests were rising for the first hymn. Luke walked into the yard, empty now of boys and horses. He glanced down the driveway. He could see the road. There were no buggies in sight.
Freeman came up beside him. “Don’t get yourself into a fever,” he said. “She’ll be here. She’s just late.”
Luke turned to him, shoulders stiff and hands tingling. “Honor’s not late,” he said, voicing the unthinkable. “She’s not coming.”
One hour earlier...
“What do you mean you aren’t going?” Katie called through Honor’s closed bedroom door. “I know you’re nervous, but there’s no time to waste. We have to hurry, or we’ll be late for service.”
“Is she ready?” Ivy’s voice came from down the hallway. “Do you know what time it is?” Honor heard her ask Katie. “The bishop and the elders will be waiting. Not to mention the wedding guests. And Luke, poor Luke will be pacing the floor.”
“She says she’s changed her mind,” Katie answered. “She said she’s not marrying Luke Weaver today or any day.”
Honor blew her nose.
“Atch,” Ivy remarked, outside the door now. “Wedding jitters.”
Honor wiped her eyes. “Common sense,” she whispered, too softly for either Ivy or Katie to hear.
There was a rapping on the door. “Honor. Will you let me come in and talk to you?” Ivy called.
“Ne! There’s no need. I made a mistake and I have to right it now, while I still can. I thought I wanted to marry Luke, but I don’t,” Honor said. “Please go and tell the bishop that I’ve reconsidered my decision.”
“Luke will be devastated,” Katie said, sounding close to tears. “Please, won’t you let us in so we can talk about it?”
“I’m sorry. I just can’t do it,” Honor replied.
She heard the two whispering, and then Katie called out, “You’re sure you want us to go without you? You’re certain about this? You don’t just want to take a minute to catch your breath? Maybe spend a few minutes in prayer?”
“I’m certain I want you to go,” Honor answered, fighting tears. “Tell everyone I’m sorry.”
There was more whispering, and then Ivy said, “If you’re sure that’s what you want.”
What she wanted? Honor didn’t know what she wanted, but she replied, “Ya, go, please.” She heard Katie say something that she couldn’t make out and then footsteps echoing down the steps. Minutes later she heard the rattle of buggy wheels. She went to the window to watch Katie and Ivy roll out of the yard.
Then Honor sank down on the bed and buried her face in her hands. What would she say to the children? How could she explain to Sara, who’d been so good to her? And how could she face Luke ever again?
But, for better or worse, her decision was made and she’d have to live with it. She should have felt reli
ef, but instead, all she felt was sadness.
* * *
Luke tugged on the brim of his new hat. “Honor did this on purpose. She did it to get even for what I did to her,” he said stoically. “She planned this all along.”
“Ne.” Sara shook her head. “I don’t believe that, and neither do you. Not really. You’re just smarting right now. Honor doesn’t have a spiteful bone in her body.”
Sara, Albert and Freeman had followed Luke out of the house and into the yard. They stood in the grass near the back porch. None of the wedding guests, except for Ivy and Katie, who had brought word, knew there was no bride.
“Here’s my question to you. Do you love her?” Sara asked, looking Luke in the eyes. “If you could fix this, would you?”
He glanced away. Emotion brought moisture that clouded his eyes, and he was afraid that he’d make himself appear even more of a fool than he was. “It’s too late,” he answered gruffly.
“It may not be,” Albert put in. “They’re only on the second hymn. It will be a long sermon.”
“I agree,” Freeman said. “If you want to try to change her mind, there’s time.” He glanced at Katie, who’d come to stand beside him. “Did you know that we almost broke up right before we married? I was to blame.”
“Ne, Freeman,” Katie said, taking his hand. “We were both to blame.”
Freeman smiled down at her. “My Katie left me and I had to chase her down.” He chuckled. “It was a lot farther than you’d have to go.”
Luke scuffed the ground with one foot, sending up a small cloud of dust. He rubbed his hands together as he fought to compose himself. He’d been so happy, and now everything was lost. “It’s because of the children,” he admitted gruffly. “I thought she let them get away with too much, and I said so. I told her it wouldn’t be that way after we were married.”