Never a Bride

by Caridad Piñeiro

  He slipped into bed beside her and drew her into his arms. She pillowed her head on his shoulder and stroked her hand across his chest, needing to touch him almost as if to reassure herself that he was really there. That they’d really just made love.

  CARLO SMOOTHED A HAND up and down her back, sensing she needed the connection. Maybe even something more, but somehow he couldn’t find the words to say. He’d waited so long for this and now that it had finally happened . . .

  He wanted to say that he loved her because he did. But he worried he’d scare her off. And so they lay there in silence for long moments until Emma said, “I’m not sorry we did this, Carlo.”

  Not quite what he’d been hoping to hear. “I’m not either, Emma. I want you,” he said and turned so that they were facing each other. “I want you in my bed. In my life.”

  She cradled his cheek and traced her thumb along the edges of his lips, her gaze serious, almost worried. “I know you want that now –”

  “I want you forever, remember? Forever. That won’t change,” he said and to prove his point, he kissed her and drew her close. Touched her as he’d dreamed of doing for so long. Caught her up in the undeniable passion that existed between them because she couldn’t reject that. Couldn’t refuse to accept what was so right between them. He hoped that in time she would finally admit to what was in her heart.

  Afterward they lay together, limbs entwined. Hearts pounding against each other and breaths slowly returning to a calm and measured rhythm. Silence grew between them again until he said the words he should have said earlier, “I love you, Emma. I’ve loved you for a long time. For as long as I can remember.”

  A long hesitant moment followed until she said, “I care for you, Carlo. More than you can imagine. More than I ever thought I’d care for any man.”

  Weeks earlier he’d worried he’d be friend-zoned. It was nothing compared to what he was feeling now with her admission because it was impossible not to hear the “but” she was about to drop on him. So he beat her to it.

  “I understand, Emma. I won’t push you for anything you’re not ready to give.” Even if that meant she’d never give him the one thing he wanted more than her body. Her love.

  EMMA HEFTED ONE OF Tracy’s suitcases from the trunk of her car and followed Tracy as she rolled an even bigger suitcase up the sidewalk and to the front door of the Lighthouse Inn. Tracy planned to stay at the inn until she was able to locate a home in the area. Emma was happy her friend was moving on with her life and even better, that she would be nearby. With Connie coming back any day from her honeymoon and Maggie being able to take a break over the holidays, they would all be together again for Christmas and the New Year.

  Emma needed her friends now more than ever. The other night with Carlo had been . . . amazing. Earth-shattering. Scary. Giving herself to him physically had been satisfying, but she had totally risked her heart. Something she hadn’t been prepared to give just yet. Maybe never and she knew just how unfair that was to him. As unfair as Sasha had been to him so many years earlier.

  She dashed that thought from her brain. She wasn’t this Sasha whoever she was who didn’t think Carlo wasn’t good enough. If anything, he was way too good, especially for someone like her.

  “Emma. Earth to Emma,” Tracy said as Emma almost ran into her at the front door to the inn.

  “Sorry. My mind was elsewhere,” she offered in apology.

  “That’s obvious, Em. How about we do lunch and talk about it after I get all checked in?” Tracy said.

  “I’m game, Tracy. I’ve missed our talks,” she said and her friend held the door open so Emma could walk through with the suitcase.

  The young woman at the front desk checked her in quickly and in no time the innkeeper helped them trudge up the stairs to the second-floor room, a spacious suite with views of the river inlet and reproductions of period antiques. Beautiful watercolor seascapes decorated the walls while a vase of fresh flowers sat on the dresser beside a small wrapped plate of assorted biscuits and candies.

  “This is lovely,” Emma said as she looked around the space.

  “It’s a nice first step to my new life,” Tracy said with a smile. Her friend looked happier than she had in a long time and Emma was glad for that.

  She walked over to Tracy and slipped an arm around hers. “Let’s start this new life with a nice lunch. Maybe even some champagne to celebrate? What do you say?”

  “I say that sounds wonderful. Any idea where to go?”

  Normally Emma would say the Dunes, but that would bring way too many memories of Carlo and their first real date. As wonderful as the other night had been and as much as she wanted a repeat, she didn’t need a reminder of her fear that she wasn’t being fair to him so soon.

  “How about the Pavilion? It’s in the next town over and right on the beachfront.”

  Tracy nodded. “I love the beach, especially in winter. There’s something pure about it without all the crowds and noise.”

  Emma couldn’t argue with her. Even though the Benny tourists were the lifeblood of the area, their absence in the winter brought calm. “I agree. It’s peaceful in the winter. Good for sorting out what’s on your mind.”

  Tracy peered at her intently from her slightly greater height and said, “I can see you need to do a lot of sorting out, my friend.”

  With a shrug, Emma said, “I do, but so do you which is why I’m glad you’re here.”

  Tracy smiled and gave her a one-armed hug. “Then let’s get going. I’m hungry and haven’t been in a while.”

  Now that Tracy mentioned it, Emma noticed her friend had lost some weight which wasn’t good since Tracy had always been slender. The fine wool of her friend’s sweater hung loosely on her body as did the pants she wore.

  “That’s good to hear. You need a little more meat on your bones,” she said, which reminded her of a comment Carlo’s older brother had said about her a month earlier.

  Carlo, Carlo, Carlo. It was like she couldn’t get him out of her brain, but she had to so she could decide where she wanted their relationship to go next.

  They headed back to Tracy’s new Jaguar which was sitting in the parking lot of the inn and it took only a few minutes to drive through Sea Kiss and over to the next town and the beachfront. Unlike Sea Kiss, the boardwalk here had a number of stores and restaurants along both the boardwalk and across the way on Ocean Avenue. Since it was winter it was easy for them to find a place not far from the restaurant. In the summer months you might have to drive around for some time to find a spot. Most people gave up and parked many blocks away and did the long trudge to the beach, often laden with beach chairs, coolers, and kids too young to do the walk balanced awkwardly on mom’s hip.

  The breeze that had kicked up the night before had blown itself out and the temperature had warmed, making it a pleasant walk to the restaurant. As they entered, the hostess smiled and called out a greeting to Emma who had arranged a number of events at the restaurant for assorted bridal showers and rehearsal dinners.

  “So good to see you, Emma,” Sarah said and hugged her.

  “Good to see you too. This is my friend, Tracy,” she said and introduced the two women.

  “I’ve got the perfect table for you. We just finished bussing it,” Sarah said and gestured to a waitress who hurried over. Sarah handed the young woman the menus and they followed her to a table right against the windows and facing the ocean.

  “Lovely, thank you,” Tracy said and took a seat across from Emma.

  “Yes, lovely. Could you please bring us a bottle of the Dom Perignon?” Emma said before she even looked at the menu.

  “My pleasure. My name is Mia by the way. Would you like to hear today’s lunch specials?” the waitress asked.

  “We’d love to, Mia,” Emma said and the young woman expertly rattled off a number of specials, from a roasted beet salad to a chef-suggested lobster roll.

  “Thank you,” Tracy said and perused the menu and Emma did
the same, finally deciding on a lobster mac and cheese which never failed to be good at the restaurant.

  Tracy ordered the same thing which prompted Emma to say, “Comfort food since we both need comforting?”

  Tracy rolled her eyes and nodded in agreement. “For sure. Am I to assume you’ve had a falling out with Carlo?”

  An assumption that was so wrong Emma couldn’t contain a chuckle. “Surprisingly, not. In fact, Carlo and I . . .” The words to describe that wonderful night failed her, but it seemed Tracy didn’t need to hear the words to know what had happened.

  “Oh . . .my . . . God. You and Carlo. Finally,” she said just as Mia returned with the bottle of champagne and glasses as well as a busboy with a standing ice bucket for it. Tracy said nothing else as the waitress expertly opened the bottle with a small pop and poured the champagne into crystal flutes that she set on the table before them.

  “Your meals will be out shortly,” Mia said and hurried away with the bus boy.

  Tracy picked up her glass and said, “To new beginnings for both of us.”

  Emma raised her flute and clinked it against Tracy’s. “To new beginnings.”

  After they each took a sip, Tracy said, “I sense a lot of hesitation there. You still dealing with daddy issues?”

  Leave it to Tracy to cut to the heart of the matter in no time. “Maybe,” she replied, her feelings still too new and uncertain.

  Her friend peered at her over the rim of her glass before taking a big slug from the drink. She set the glass on the table and said, “Do you love him?”

  Of all the questions she’d asked herself since last night, that wasn’t one of them. “I love him, but I couldn’t say it. After . . .”

  “Please tell me you told him after,” Tracy pleaded, leaning closer to Emma across the narrow width of the table. “Please, Emma.”

  Her hand shook as she picked up her glass and took a sip, avoiding her friend’s gaze.

  “Please please, please, Emma,” Tracy repeated in challenge.

  Emma drained her glass and set it back on the table. “I wish I had, but I couldn’t, Trace. The words wouldn’t come out of my mouth even though it was so amazing. So wonderful. He was so wonderful, and he said it. He said he loves me,” she said, the words tumbling out of her mouth faster than she wanted. Revealing way too much, but then again, Tracy was one of her best friends and if anyone would understand and respect that revelation, Tracy would.

  The busboy arrived with their meals and Mia followed, refilled their glasses and said, “Can I get you anything else, ladies?”

  “We’re all good, thanks,” Tracy replied.

  “Yes, thanks, Mia,” Emma echoed as the buttery and cheesy smells of the mac and cheese and lobster filled her senses and made her stomach rumble noisily.

  Hunger for food apparently replaced Tracy’s hunger for more information for several minutes, but then her friend picked up the discussion again. “Carlo and his brothers strike me as good and honorable men.”

  “Because your choices in men have been so on the money,” Emma said and instantly regretted it. “I’m sorry, Trace. That was a low blow.”

  “But accurate, Em. I’d like to think I’m wiser now and dealing with why I made those horrible mistakes. I let my need for the love I wasn’t getting from my parents drive me to love the wrong man. I’m working to let go of that past. Can you get over your past to make the right choices for the future?”

  “I’m trying, but it’s not easy. There’s still so much hurt there. So much fear,” Emma confessed.

  Tracy nodded. “That you’re trying is a good first step at least. And it won’t be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy, is it?”

  “It isn’t, but I’m going to try, Trace. I don’t want to lose him,” she said, finally voicing what was in her heart.

  Tracy raised her glass for another toast. “Here’s to trying.”

  Emma tapped her glass to Tracy’s. “To trying.”

  Chapter 22

  Carlo followed Mary Sanders around as she showed him the convention center.

  It was easy to understand how the owners had blown through all their Hurricane Sandy insurance payout and more. The monies had all been plowed into brand new walk-in freezers and refrigerators as well as a state-of-the-art kitchen that he itched to try out. But as the real estate agent continued the tour it was clear that there was still a lot more work to do to make the building usable. The storerooms, ball rooms, and bathrooms all had exposed studs, but luckily brand new electrical and plumbing.

  He turned to Mary and asked, “They’ve passed all the inspections so far?”

  Mary pulled out her folder with the information for the property, reviewed it, and nodded. “All the finished areas have complied with code requirements and are ready to use. Roof, framing, plumbing, and electrical have all passed the inspections. Now it’s just the sheet rock and the final touches to do.”

  “Rooms and rooms of sheet rock and paint. Lighting fixtures. Landscaping,” he said dejectedly. Even if he managed to scrape up the money to make an offer the owners might consider, he wouldn’t have enough to do all that other work. He was short by quite a lot.

  “You say they’re pretty firm on the price?” he said as they continued their stroll through the building before stepping out onto the veranda that wrapped entirely around the structure. He stood there, arms akimbo, and surveyed the views. The veranda provided access to the street and parking lot, but more importantly, there was also a nice-sized garden on one side and stunning visuals of the river from two different sides of the building.

  “Firm, but no takers so far and to be honest, with as much as needs to be done I think they need to come down on their price. On top of that, the building is landmarked so they can’t take it down for more profitable housing. There are not that many locals who can swing what they’re asking. Except of course for maybe –”

  “Jonathan Pierce. I know he’s one of the few who can afford it,” he said. If Jonathan got involved in any kind of bidding war, there was no way he’d be able to compete and buy the building.

  With a resigned sigh, he held his hand out to Mary. “Thanks so much for taking the time to show me the place.”

  The real estate agent nodded and glanced back toward the building. “She used to be a grand old dame. It would be nice to see her beautiful and full of life again.”

  “It would,” he said and strolled down the steps and as Mary had done, peered at the elegant Victorian structure. In his mind’s eye he pictured people strolling up the walk and into the building while others milled about the gardens and lawn.

  “Are you still interested?” Mary asked, head tilted at an inquiring angle to emphasize her question.

  Despite all his misgivings about what it might cost, he nodded. “I am. I’ll get back to you in a few days.”

  “I look forward to hearing from you,” she said and they both returned to their cars.

  It was a short ride back to his warehouse. Sea Kiss was not only quaint, but small. Barely a square mile sandwiched in between two larger, more commercial towns. In his parking lot, he stopped to look at the warehouse that was currently home to the company he’d built with his blood and sweat. It had taken a lot of hard work and sacrifice, but it had paid off. His business was thriving, but he was sure it could be bigger and better and guarantee the future of the da Costa brothers. And Emma if she’d have him.

  The loading dock was quiet today, but inside there was a hub of activity as Tomás and Paolo directed their crew to finish the restocking of all the inventory he’d ordered as replacements and the food and other supplies for the next two weeks of holiday parties before Christmas and the New Year. Christmas Eve.

  Véspera de Natal was the big night for his family and would soon be here. He pictured Emma at his side as she’d been so many times before. Maybe this year he’d go with Emma on Christmas Day to see her mother or spend time with her friends who would certainly be celebrating their first holidays t
ogether as husband and wife.

  Buoyed by that possibility which shook off a little of the disappointment about the costs of the convention center, he waved a greeting at his brothers and went into his office. He pulled up his accounts again and reviewed them. After, he considered how much he could get for the sale of the warehouse, but it still wasn’t enough to cover the purchase and work needed on the convention center.

  “Why the long face, mano?” Tomás asked as Paolo and he strolled into his office.

  “Don’t tell me she blew you off,” Paolo said and plopped into a chair. Tomás dropped into the chair next to him and arched a brow. “Did she?”

  Carlo shook his head and blew out a harsh laugh. “Emma and I had a very nice dinner, not that it’s any of your business.” To keep them from continuing to pry about his love life, he said, “What is your business is this business. I just came back from seeing the convention center. It’s for sale.”

  Both brothers sat up straighter in their chairs, their interest piqued. “You want to buy it?” Paolo asked, excitement making him bounce up and down in his chair.

  “It’s a great opportunity,” Tomás added and shot a quick look at Paolo as if to gauge his interest.

  “Even though you might not be around come February?” Carlo challenged since as far as he knew, his brother had not yet made up his mind about re-enlisting.

  Tomás shrugged. “A man can’t stay in the Army forever, mano. Even if I go back this time, these old bones won’t hold out for many more deployments.”

  Carlo was happy to hear that since he always worried about his brother’s safety whenever he was on a mission. Continuing, he said, “There’s just one problem. Or maybe two. The cost of the property and Emma. This is just the kind of opportunity we talked about, only . . .”