Primal Burdens: (The Uruwashi Series #5)

by Christina Moore

  Carefully eyeing the other man, Tristan slipped into the seat across from Kiba, pushing it out far enough that he could get to his feet quickly.

  Kiba’s brow furrowed and he made an almost unperceivable little pout with his with his lower lip. “Did you really need to bring that? I only want to talk.”

  Tristan started, looking down to make sure his jacket was closed over his illegally concealed weapon.

  The other man was grinning when Tristan looked up again and he tapped the side of nose. “Good sniffer.”

  Tristan huffed, sitting back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. The shape of the gun was under his hand and while he had absolutely no fast draw like this, he still felt better with it. Not that he thought he’d really need it. A restaurant wasn’t exactly a covert meeting place, after all.

  “Tell me why I should trust your word after what you did to Desmond. You know he’s old, over three-hundred. He’s going to die an excruciating death. You did that to him.” Okay, maybe Tristan cared a little more for the vampire than he was willing to admit. The thought of dying to a lycanthrope bite though seemed too cruel for even Malik.

  From the way Mamoru described it, a human bitten by a werewolf would slip into a coma and die painlessly. But for a vampire, a werewolf bite was as close to a “cure” for vampirism than anything else. Their bites killed the vampire disease within their bodies and made the bitten vampire age like a human again. It wasn’t so bad for fledgling vampires, some even lived, but most vampires were well past human life spans, making their deaths excruciating, if not quick. Desmond didn’t have long, two days at most.

  Kiba screwed up his mouth, considering him for a moment. “Because I can cure him.”

  “Bullshit.” The word was out of Tristan’s mouth before he could stop himself. There was no cure for a werewolf bite, it was what made the lycan so dangerous.

  The Were sighed, putting down his nearly empty beer. “I can cure him. I wouldn’t have bitten him if I didn’t need you. I know about you and I’m not willing to risk your wrath by killing someone you love. I can cure him.”

  “What the fuck do you think you know about me?”

  Kiba sighed, sitting back and crossing an ankle over his knee. “Enough…” He picked at a thread on his jeans. “Drugs, alcohol, the fights and arrests—”

  “Enough.” Tristan sat forward, putting his forearms on the table. “That was a different person.” That was the part of his life that he wished he could take back, the only part, besides the death of his parents. Of course, all of that other stuff would not have happened if they had not died to start with.

  Kiba looked up, his intense amber gaze fixed on Tristan. “I know what you did to Malik. Lucien.” The other man looked nervous as he swallowed visibly. “Xuejiao.”

  Tristan lunged forward in his seat, banged a fist on the table. “I didn’t do anything to her!” He lowered his voice and hissed, “I tried to help her.”

  The young man across the table swallowed again, breathing a little bit harder. If Tristan didn’t know any better, then he’d think that the wolf was afraid of him.

  “I know. That’s why I want you on my side.”

  Tristan made a rude noise, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest. “If you’re trying to make friends with me, you’re going about it all the wrong way, dude.”

  Kiba laughed, sounding so carefree. “I’m not looking for a friendship, but a partnership.”

  “Partnership, huh?” Tristan harrumphed. “You need me to do something for you.”

  The other man nodded. “And you need me.”

  Tristan was nodding to himself. “Equivalent exchange.”

  The other man’s amber eyes lit up and he jumped forward, excited. “Exactly. See, I knew you’d understand.”

  “I understand that you bit my friend. Risked his life just to get me to talk to you.” Wow, “friend” came out way to easily. God, he hoped the vampire never found out Tristan called him that. And that it was sort of true.

  Kiba shrugged, looking unapologetic with that little smirk. “I’m curious about you, you know.”

  Tristan snorted a laugh. “Yeah, well, curiosity killed the cat.”

  When Kiba smiled this time, his teeth weren’t flat human teeth but sharp wolf fangs. “But I’m no pussy, I’m a wolf.”

  “Fucking Christ!” Tristan pushed back in his seat, making a nasty noise against the floor with the legs.

  Kiba was laughing and Tristan was too stunned to say anything. Thankfully, he didn’t need to right then as the waitress came up to take their order. Still tongue-tied and not wanting to stay longer than necessary, Tristan declined. Kiba however ordered two more beers and a steak.

  When the girl was gone, Tristan was still speechless. Kiba only stared at him with a knowing smile. The senior couple in the corner was whispering to each other and trying not to stare at the two men, but they’d made a bit of a spectacle of themselves. If they had seen the teeth they would have run screaming. Thankfully they were the only other patrons in this little section of the restaurant.

  “I know what else you are.”

  Tristan scoffed. He’d heard that enough to not even glance hope’s way. “Now that’s not even close to true.”

  Kiba laughed a little, but he looked nervous, fidgety. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because no one knows. Everyone thinks they know me, but they fucking don’t.” Okay, so that was a little defensive, but he was getting sick of hearing everyone say those words to him and never deliver. It was a fucking conspiracy.

  “But I really do.”

  Tristan shook his head. “I don’t have time for this bullshit, I’m leaving.”

  “Lilith is like a mother to me.”

  Tristan stopped halfway out of his seat. “You—”

  “My family has been slaves to Malik for centuries.”

  Okay, so that got his attention. He sat down, eyeing the Were suspiciously. “And?”

  Looking relieved, Kiba sighed. “Lilith knows who you are and what you’ll become.”

  Of course she does. She’s the one who told him of Mother. “And I’m supposed to believe that she told you these things and that you’ll just tell me? I just saw her two days ago. Why didn’t she say so then?”

  “Because it wasn’t time then.”

  He harrumphed. “And it is now?”

  “Yes,” Kiba said earnestly, nodding. “Soon, anyway.”

  “I don’t buy it.”

  Kiba just shrugged as if to say “not my problem if you don’t believe me.”

  Tristan stared at him a long time. No. If Lilith wanted him to know, she would have told him when she told him of Mother. This was some sort of setup.

  “I still don’t get what you get out of this.”

  The smile on the young Were’s face spread until he was showing his teeth. “You smell good.”

  Tristan flinched back. “Uh… excuse me?”

  Figures that the waitress chose that moment to bring their drinks and she flushed deeply. She had looked like she was going to say something when she first walked up but was too embarrassed now. Chuckling, Kiba pushed one of the beers towards Tristan. He took it, without really thinking about it and drank down half it in one go. It was a brand he didn’t like in particular, but beer was beer and right about then, he wanted lots of it.

  “The vampires, they always tell you that you smell human, right?”

  Brow furrowed in confusion, Tristan sat back in his sat with a huff. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “Lilith has told me what else you are and now that I’ve met you face-to-face, I’ve confirmed it. You may smell human to everyone else around you but to me,” He tapped his nose. “You smell of vampire and—well, something else even better.”

  Tristan was growing agitated. He wanted to believe this guy, but how could he? The Were was working for the enemy. “Again. Why the fuck would Lilith tell you what else I am?”

  Kiba shrugged,
picking at his napkin. “Because she was told to? Who knows why the pythia do what they do. Besides, even if she didn’t, I can smell you. I know what you are without her saying so. I may have been a slave my whole life, but I know stuff. I probably know more about shinwa and heikō than most, even.”

  Tristan frowned. In the vision Lilith showed him, she had said she was taking orders from her father, the First Pythia. If this guy was telling the truth then there was a good chance she told him simply because he was meant to know. Maybe this was how Tristan was supposed to find out. Or it could have just been another massive cock block. There was no way of knowing.

  “And you want me to do what for this information?”

  The other man slowly smiled, something close to smug satisfaction in his eyes. “Help me kill Nastasia.”

  Tristan’s breath caught. “I… no,” he said in a breathy whisper. “She’s Ash’s daughter. I can’t.”

  Kiba scowled but perked up with a big smile when the waitress returned with his steak. He took a moment to flirt with her again, giving Tristan time to process. When the waitress finally left, Tristan leaned forward on the table. The food smelled good and his stomach growled loud enough that Kiba smirked knowingly at him.

  “Why do you want to kill her?”

  The smile slipped from the Were’s expression. “I’m her slave as I was Malik’s before her. Malik…” He was looking down at his food, not really cutting it so much as just moving it around his plate. “He was kind to me compared to how she treats me. He at least let me have a life outside of service, a reward for good behavior. But Nastasia… she’s all stick and no carrot.”

  “You look well enough to me.”

  Kiba’s eyes darted up to his quickly. “I’m a lycanthrope. I heal faster than a fae, almost as fast as a vampire. But the mind? I just…” He looked away again and sighed. “My family has been slaves to Malik for centuries. I’ve heard the rumors, the stories of the lycanthropes decimation in the nineteen-seventies, but I haven’t had the chance to go out and find the truth for myself. I want to find my people. I mean, if I’m alive, then there must be other lycanthropes in hiding somewhere else in the world. I just… I can’t be the only one.”

  Okay, so that touched Tristan a little where it hurt. He understood that particular pain. When he met Mamoru, it was like a blessing, the impossible. It made him feel good that there was someone else in the world like him. But even if his friend hadn’t died, Tristan would still be alone, wouldn’t he? Because he was something else, something unprecedented in the world of the shinwa and heikō. He was neither human, shinwa, heikō or Uruwashi. He was his own thing. He stood alone.

  “I can’t kill Ash’s daughter, Kiba.”

  The other man flinched at hearing his name and looked up. For the first time since Tristan laid eyes on the guy, Kiba looked utterly lost. He seemed carefree and pleasant enough, someone that Tristan might even have talked to in a bar on his own, but the young Were carried a deep pain in him, a pain that Tristan really understood.

  “Then sanctuary. Take me in. I’ll be your slave, or Ash’s… just anyone but Nastasia.”

  Tristan was shaking his head before the Were even finished talking. “We don’t keep slaves.”

  “Comrade then.” Kiba raised the steak knife, pointing it at Tristan and he tensed until he realized it was just a thoughtless gesture. “I can be a powerful ally, Tristan.”

  He sat back and crossed his arms over his chest with a harrumph. He really didn’t know what the answer to this was. He wanted to believe that Kiba knew what he was, that Lilith wasn’t using the Were to manipulate Tristan at her father’s behest, or worst, Yuki’s. He wanted to believe that the answers were all right here and that he could trust the lycanthrope. He so desperately wanted all of this and when he sighed, the other man seemed to understand and smiled.

  “Fuck me, Ash is going to kill me. Fine. Let’s call it a trial, yeah? And we’ll start with you curing Desmond… You know what, fuck it. That dude isn’t a friend; I’ve never liked the guy. I didn’t come here because of him. Just tell me what I have to do for you to tell me what Lilith’s said.”

  Kiba grinned. “I don’t have to cure him,” he teased. “Lilith never said so. But I know you don’t mean it, not really…”

  Tristan sighed, leaning back in his chair, making it creak. “Yeah well, Ash will want him fixed and I’ll do anything for her.”

  “I’m big on loyalty too.”

  Tristan started and then burst into laughter. “Yeah, I’ll just bet.” He sighed then, sobering a little as he reached for menu under Kiba’s elbow. “Christ, Ash really is going to kill me…”

  11: The Memory Remains

  IT WAS risky, trusting a stranger not to kill him in his sleep, but if he didn’t rest, even for an hour, he was going to collapse. After his lunch date, Tristan brought Kiba with him back to his parent’s house. At least then, if the Were was lying, it would only be Tristan who suffered the consequences and not the three vampires sleeping in their daylight proof, and most likely not werewolf proof, bedrooms back at the house. So long as Kiba was with Tristan, he wasn’t out hunting those he loved on Nastasia’s order.

  Tristan got in a solid five hours of sleep. It was way longer than he wanted, but he needed it. Kiba not only took on the role of guard while Tristan slept, but he also cleaned up the mess in the kitchen, organizing all of the left-over plants into little glass jars he’d found somewhere. The ashes had been swept up and returned to one of the urns. Tristan was thankful he didn’t have to clean that particular mess himself. The jars and the rest of the supplies all went into a box packed with old newspaper to keep everything safe to transport.

  The guest bedroom had fresh linens and all the bathrooms smelled minty clean, even the bathroom in Tristan’s room. While he didn’t like that the lycanthrope had been in his room while he slept, he felt a sense of comfort in the fact that Kiba had been true to his word. He didn’t kill him in his sleep. The real question was, just how far could he trust a wolf?

  Tristan was standing with his back wedged in the corner of the kitchen cabinets, staring off in a daze as he drank a cup of coffee. It was the same coffee from last night but he didn’t care. Kiba tried to insist on making a fresh pot, but Tristan refused. He couldn’t risk getting hit with a spell, especially since they seemed in an abundance these days, and they seriously fucked things up.

  “We should be going soon. If we wait too long, Desmond will be too far gone for the cure to work.”

  Tristan harrumphed. Sure, make excuses for when it inevitably went wrong, dog. “Fine, just let me take a shower first and then we’ll go.” Yes, he showered just before he went to meet Kiba earlier today, but he needed it just to wake up. He was too sluggish to fight through the night without a refreshing shower, and maybe some hot coffee that wasn’t almost a day old. Coffee and showers were like sleep, he had to take them when he could.

  By the time he got out of the shower, his head felt clear but he was nauseas again. At first it was easy enough to tell himself it was from overeating at the restaurant, but he knew it was more than that. He’d had a rough time of it lately. The kitsune, Wren, Xuejiao, Lilith, Nastasia, Ash… everyone in his life caused him some sort of grief, some more than others. Even his old friends, Gillian and Eric. His conscious was killing him, quite literally, he thought. Top it all off with France’s memories and word of Mother and he had a very full head of shit to sort through.

  “You’re a fucking idiot,” he whispered to his reflection in the mirror.

  With a huff, he pushed off the countertop he’d been leaning on and left the bathroom. He was digging through his bag for clean set of underpants when a faint, tentative voice called out from the hallway. “Tristan?”

  He’d left his bedroom door wide open to keep an ear out for his houseguest, not caring if the man walked in on him. But it wasn’t Kiba who turned the corner, gave him a good look up and down and then turned bright red, covering her face with her hands.
>
  “Oh gosh!” Gillian spun to put her back to the room, hands still over her eyes. “I’m sorry, Trist. My mistake.”

  He was laughing as he finally found his last pair of clean boxers and slipped into them. “It’s fine G. Not the first time you’ve seen me naked.”

  “Yeah, well it’s the first time I’ve seen you naked as an adult. Gosh, Tristan. You could have warned me before I came into the room.”

  He stepped into his jeans, still laughing. “But then I’d miss out on embarrassing you.”

  “Yeah, right,” she mumbled but he could hear the grin in her words.

  “You’re back again, thought you had a shop to tend to.”

  “I don’t work on Sundays so I can go to church with mom and dad, then dinner.”

  Still devote as ever. “I was just getting ready to leave for my next appointment.”

  “Uh, yeah, sorry to bug you like this again. I was just going to use my key and leave it inside for you but Trevor let me in.”

  Trevor? Was that the wolf’s real name? “Okay?” he said, confused as he pulled on a shirt.

  She hesitated, lost in some thought. “Um… It’s just a few boxes of things I thought you’d like to have. Stuff I found while I cleaned the house for you when you thought you were going to sell it. Stuff that I just couldn’t give to Goodwill, personal stuff...”

  Tristan frowned to himself. Just before he left for Japan, during one of his bigger meltdowns, he told Gillian he was selling the house. When she asked about his things, his parents things, he blew up at her and told her he didn’t give a fuck, sell them with the house for all he cared. Of course, he did mind and didn’t want to lose those precious things, but he was too much a coward to say so back then. Obviously, she decided to take it upon herself to organize all the private things of the Blum family’s life. She never bothered to sell the house either, and in the end, he was beyond grateful for that.

  “Oh,” he said in a shaky voice, sitting on the end of the bed. Kiba had made the bed while he was in shower, apparently. Jesus, creepy. “Thanks.”