“But you have been ordered to do other terrible things by her.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“By both my Master and my scion,” Ash confirmed.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Tristan saw her tension then and wished he could hold her and make it all go away. But now wasn’t the time for softness, this was a trial. A trial to determine if they took in the stray or had him put down.
“Come to me.”
Head bow, Trevor went to her and down to his knees, abasing himself.
She stared at him a moment and then with a sigh, uncrossed her legs and sat forward. The man flinched when she placed a hand on his head and then let out an audible sigh when that hand moved down to gently stroke his cheek.
“I am going to bite you.”
Kiba’s head jerked up and though Tristan couldn’t see the man’s face, he could hear the confused excitement in his voice when he answered, “Yes, ma’am.”
“I know you can keep whatever you’d like to yourself, but I suggest you share everything.”
“Yes, ma’am. I chose to keep only one secret to myself.” The wolf glanced at Tristan. “Insurance until we trust each other.”
Ash glared at him through half-lidded, cold eyes. “Depending on what I see now will determine my trust for you, wolf. I suggest you share this insurance should you think it might save you.”
The way she kept calling the man “wolf”, Tristan almost felt like it was a term of honor rather than a slur.
“All the same, ma’am. It’s all I have left in this world. Besides, I’m confident you’ll see the real me without it.”
“Very well,” Ash consented.
Tristan shifted on the sofa, unsure if he really wanted to stay for this and then decided he would. This was his life now, vampires and Weres and faerie… He had to get used to watching his girlfriend feeding on other people since it wasn’t going to be him anytime soon.
Ash looked at Tristan over Kiba for a moment and then lowered her face to the Were’s offered neck. Kiba flinched when her teeth broke his skin and then sighed. His hands in his lap opened and closed as if he were fighting himself not to touch her, hold her.
Unable to keep himself seated, Tristan popped up and went to stand next to Ash, getting a better view of the Were. His face, it was an expression of pure bliss and Tristan was a little jealous. He understood why she bit the man, but that she did it so freely, so easily bothered him. He wanted so much for that to be him under her lips.
Ash didn’t drink for very long at all and sat back slowly when she was done. Kiba remained slumped at her feet, eyes shut and looking wholly content.
“You have had a hard life, little wolf,” she whispered to him, cupping his chin again, lovingly.
Kiba’s eyes popped open and he stared at her.
“I understand the pain of Malik… and Nastasia. As her…” Ash swallowed hard. “As her mother and Master, I am responsible for her and I hope that you can forgive the cruelties she’s bestowed on you.”
Kiba’s mouth dropped open, his amber eyes wide and confused. He glanced at Tristan and when he nodded, the wolf seemed to relax a little. There was already a trust there, on the wolf’s side, for Tristan that he didn’t understand.
“If you can forgive me my failings with my daughter, we would be most honored to call you friend. Do you wish that?”
“More than anything,” the wolf whispered in a shaky voice. Kiba looked up and made eye contact with her. “Nastasia always talked about you, but the things she complained about, tried to spin in a dark light were actually all good. You meant well in your actions, even if they ended up… not-so-good.”
He looked away, down to his hands. “Even Malik, while he didn’t mean well, he wasn’t… well, malicious. But Nastasia. She did things to hurt others on purpose. Enjoyed it. Malik was methodical and simple in his thought process but Nastasia was sadistic on purpose. I know—” He stopped short, taking in a sharp gasp as if he realized what he’d just said. He licked his lips and looked up. His whole body vibrated with anxiety. “I know she’s your daughter, of your blood in the most profound of ways, but you can never be like her. And I’m sorry for what she let herself become, I really am, but there’s no fixing someone like that.”
Ash had stopped breathing. She sat back slowly, staring down at the wolf staring up at her. Tristan was tense, poised to spring because, whatever Ash thought, Tristan believed the kid.
Ash’s jaw unclenched a moment before her chest moved again as she took her first breath. “Then, little wolf,” she managed in a soft voice that didn’t waiver, “you are most welcome. We shall protect you as family from now on.”
“Ash?” Tristan asked.
She looked up and nodded with determination. “What happened with Desmond, was actually an accident—one he turned into something positive.” Ash considered the wolf, tilting her head to the side. “He was going to cure him no matter your answer. He’s clever and quick on his feet. Most of all, he’s got a good heart.”
Tristan harrumphed, but smiled. “Sounds like he’s one of us.”
Ash gazed down at the Were with admiration. “Yes, he is.”
“But… but, what if your friend doesn’t pull through?” Kiba was shaking hard now, eyes wide even as the tears silently flowed. He wanted to be a part of this family, dysfunctions and all, but was obviously afraid of their rejection more than death. Tristan wasn’t sure why, but he knew the kid would face death with grace, it was living abused that scared him—Something Ash could definitely relate to.
“Then that was meant to be his fate. But if Lilith told you otherwise, I believe in her. I believe in you, little wolf.”
Kiba let out a sobby laugh, lowering his face into Ash’s lap and cried. “Thank you. Thank you so much, Master.”
“Please, just Ash. You are not a slave in this house.”
“You…” He laughed a little, wiping at his face. “You really are just as Malik and Nastasia has said.”
“Foolhardy?”
“Kind,” he amended.
“That is your word, not theirs.” Ash paused a moment, the look on her face pensive and worrisome. Apparently, for good reason. “However—”
Kiba flinched at that simple word and Tristan cringed, having felt it too.
“Yes?” Kiba prompted a little too eagerly.
“Do not thank me just yet. You have to tell him,” Ash nodded at Tristan. “I approve of you, despite what you did. I saw the truth of it. But Tristan must hear the truth of what you’ve done before he can agree as well.”
The Were looked like he was about to puke. “Y—yes, ma’am.”
Tristan felt sick himself. Just what did she see that made her look at Tristan like that? What did Kiba do that Tristan wouldn’t approve of? They’d only just met.
On his knees, Kiba rotated to face Tristan, though his head was bowed, hiding his expression. The man’s shoulders shook and, looking as if he was forcing himself, the Were finally looked up. He was crying, openly, but his voice was steady when he said, “I was the one who caused your parents’ car to crash.”
Everything shut down, so much so that Tristan forgot to breathe long enough that he ended up in a coughing fit. By the time he’d refilled his lungs and saw past the blur of anger, he was face to very close face with the Were, the kid’s shirt balled into Tristan’s shaky hands. Behind the wolf, Ash remained in her spot, watching the events pass by with nothing more than a curious arch of her brow.
“Y—you… What? No.” Tristan shook his head. “Why?”
Kiba was crying so hard now he was gasping in between sobs. “I’m so sorry! Even not knowing why or who I’d be hurting, I did it anyway—I certainly didn’t want to!”
Tristan took in a shuddering breath. “Malik made you.” Of course he did.
Of all the times he dreamt of that night, it was only since meeting Ash that he started to remember seeing those eyes, the eyes of an animal. The eyes of a wolf.
Pas
t the rage and the hurt, it was obvious what Kiba’s part was. He acted not in true malice but what he was forced to do. He was a tool for Malik’s machinations. Only, when the person directly involved in his parents’ awful end was right there, under his hands, it was easy for Tristan to overlook simple truths. He could kill the man now—hell, he probably should. Not only did this man kill Julia and Spike Blum, the only parents he’d even known, but he nearly killed Tristan, Desmond and god knew only how many others in his short life.
But he was a slave. All Kiba had known was how to do what he was told. Do as he was told or die. That was his only option. Was it fair for Tristan to kill someone who looked him in the eye the way he just did and admitted to a crime that would surely ruin a chance for acceptance? In a way, he thought that Kiba was far braver than Tristan had ever been.
Kiba’s nerve finally failed him and he bowed his head, hiding his face again. A moment later the man gave off a loud, startled yip as he was yanked forward. Tristan could feel the man’s surprise and thought his own surprise was in equal measure.
“Maybe…,” Tristan said and shut his eyes tightly, holding the Were against him. “Maybe the old me would have hurt you for what you did, regardless of why. But the me now?” Tristan shook his head against the other man’s shoulder and he felt Kiba relax a fraction of an inch into the hug. “Ash is right, you’re one of us. And we’ve all fucked up.”
Kiba laughed, hiccupped against him and Tristan opened his eyes to look at Ash. She smiled at him, her eyes lined with tears too and nodded.
Tristan opened his arms and forced Kiba back enough so that he could meet his eye. “We’ve all fucked up, some more than others.” He shrugged and a little grin found him. “To err is to human.”
A sudden snorted laugh burst from Ash. Tristan cleared his throat, trying to compose himself to look hard again, which he knew was impossible after that show of emotion. “But consider this our starting point. We’re at zero right now. It’s up to you whether you’re a positive or negative influence to us.”
Out of the corner of his vision he saw Ash nodding her agreement.
“I spent the afternoon with you and you know what, I think you’re a good guy and I want to know you as a friend. And despite…” Tristan waved his hand, refusing to use the words to identify what Kiba had done to him. “I’m willing to let it happen—try my damnedest to not let the past fuck what could be a very good future, but it’s all on you now. You got it?”
“Yes, sir—Sorry. Tristan.”
There was a small noise and everyone looked up at the man standing at the room’s threshold, abashed for having to interrupt.
“Um,” the fae said uneasily. “I just talked to Yuki…”
Or for that.
“Oh shit,” Tristan hissed and moved towards Lance. “I’m so sorry, dude. I totally forgot to call her this morning.”
“No, it’s fine. Lilith told her why… apparently.” He coughed. “She’s not mad—Anyway, I’m supposed to go back and get her.”
“Get. Her?” Tristan asked and behind him, Ash sighed, “I hope you mean Lilith…”
The man lowered his head, ears bright red. “Yukihime.”
“Fucking—why?”
“She wants to come here—Maryland, I mean.”
Tristan rolled his eyes, groaning. “For good?”
Lance shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you need anything before I go?”
Tristan glanced back at Ash. She shook her head and so did Tristan. “Nope. Just be safe, okay? Nastasia’s still out there and we don’t know who she’s going to sick her twisted lackey on next. At least she’s down to just one now.”
The fae was nodding, his attention off somewhere else as he seemed lost in thought. “Do you mind if I get a ride from someone back to your parents’ house? I need to take the van back to the rental place.”
Tristan’d nearly forgotten about the van since he drove his own car, now parked in the huge three-car garage next to Ash’s rental Aston.
“I’ll do it,” Kiba said before the others could answer. “Er, that is, if it’s okay to borrow your car?” The last he directed at Tristan.
Tristan wasn’t so sure he wanted to trust his new “friend” with his current one, but then remembered that if worse came to worse, Lance was armed at Tristan’s, and Wren’s, insistence. The fae could take care of himself… He hoped.
“Take the Aston,” Ash said sounding tired. “I’ve decided I don’t care for it. Bring back something else in a convertible.”
Kiba looked like he’d just been given a gold star on his spelling test. He was so happy.
Lance looked relieved, his attention going to the Were. “Okay, just give me a minute to check on Desmond and then we’ll go.”
Kiba nodded, looking away in obvious shame.
“Lance?” Ash called out and the others paused. “There should be a wooden box containing hand rolled cigarettes in my things. Can you find it and take it to Desmond please?”
“You got it,” the fae answered and marched up the stairs.
When Lance was gone, Kiba said softly, “I really hope the spell does work. She promised me it would.”
Tristan sighed, realizing the whole fucked up situation was manipulated into place by Lilith. But if that was true then perhaps Desmond would live. There was no way the pythia would let her Master’s favorite scion die, right?
Ash harrumphed and got up from her seat. “I’d like to sit down and speak with you when you return.” She didn’t come out right and warn him to return but the implication that she’d hunt him down if he didn’t was heavy in her tone. She may have seen the person he is in his blood and decided to trust him but Ash was still a very hard person to win over. Tristan felt like he got off easy.
“Yes, ma’am,” Kiba said with a nod and then left the room.
Watching the Were climb the steps, Tristan mused aloud, “He really is a good kid, isn’t he?”
Ash came up next to him and put an arm around his waist, leaning into him. “His thoughts are open and honest. He is much like you, actually, in that aspect.”
“Guess it helps to have vampire gifts, huh?” Tristan laughed a little.
“Even without them,” she said in a hollow voice, distracted, “he is easy to read. I did not have to bite him to know his goodness. You yourself have come to the same conclusion as I have, that he is good and means well.” She met his gaze. “Even knowing his sin, now.”
Tristan frowned, the scab of his parent’s deaths scratched open anew. There was no time to dwell now. No, he couldn’t go back to the man he was, the broken thing of six-months ago. He had to keep going forward. For himself, for Ash… for everyone.
Unfortunately, going forward was just as painful as living in the past.
“Truly, you forgive him for what he did?”
Tristan shook his head. “There’s nothing to forgive. It was Malik.”
The look on Ash’s went soft as she gazed at him lovingly. “Just when I think I have you completely figured out.”
“I’ll take that for a complement,” he said with a grin before letting it fall into a frown. “You… you saw what he wants, right? You know he wants us to kill her.” He couldn’t bring himself to use her name.
Ash stiffened and pulled away. Tristan turned and watched her walk towards the enormous front window. “Yes.”
“Is she here to just torment you?”
“She wishes me dead.”
Tristan walked around to stand behind her but didn’t reach out, instead settling on studying her face in the window’s reflection. “What happened between you two? Why does she hate you so much?”
Ash lowered her head. “I gave her life and then took it from her. I thought… I was selfish. And Malik, I was so desperate to believe in him and I let him use me. It was the very night that she rose from her grave that I was taken as his slave. And she as well. I damned her and cannot fault her now for hating me.”
Tristan lowered his eyes. He couldn�
��t imagine what it was like to make a scion of your own child only to lose her to someone like Malik and then suffer her utter hate for three centuries. “I don’t suppose, if we ask nicely, she’ll talk about this? Change her mind maybe?”
Ash laughed cynically. “No. Malik may have abused her the same way he used me, and while I grew to despise him, she came to love him—worship him like a god.”
“Stockholm,” Tristan muttered.
“In a sense, yes. He continued to abuse her but she accepted it. Eventually she became one of his enforcers. She would beat the other women and then return to Malik for his praise only to be beaten herself. She grew exceedingly skilled in hurting others and was eventually given freedom to do as she pleased with us.”
“And you?” Tristan asked, his mouth nearly too dry to form the question. “Did she hurt you?”
Ash curled into herself, arms wrapped about her middle. “Often.”
“She’s the ultimate reason you don’t want to bite me, isn’t she?”
“Yes.”
Tristan shut his eyes, focused on his breathing. There was that nausea again, the pain in his head, the tightness in his throat. This was the reason for it all and while he felt relieved for finally understanding, he felt terribly selfish in asking. More than that, it cut deeply to know that Ash’s own daughter hated her that much. Ash’s pain was his and he could barely hold it all in. He couldn’t even imagine how she felt.
He took a few steps into Ash and wrapped his arms around her from behind, pulling her against his front and lowering his face to her neck. “No matter what you decide, I love you. I can never hate you or hurt you like that.”
She shook her head. “You don’t know what you will become.”
Tristan stiffened. He had an idea now that his memories of France were back with him. Damn, he still needed to tell her he remembered, but now was so not the time. Another problem for a lesser trying time.
“What I’m trying to say is that, you can’t judge all of your decisions in life on a single event. I mean, I get how easy it is, I really do. But I’m not her, Ash. I’m my own person, with my own thoughts and actions. Don’t judge me on her character.”
Primal Burdens: (The Uruwashi Series #5) Page 14