He wasn’t sure he was even making sense anymore. He just wanted her to understand what he thought and felt, and for as honest as he was, he was still human and human’s meager form of communication, the language of words was utterly flawed.
Ash wiggled out of his arms and turned to face him. They stared at each other for a long time in silence, the presences of the vampires in the house like little gnats in Tristan’s face, threatening to distract him.
Tristan broke the silence first. He reached out and touched her face, softly cupping her cheek. “What will you do?”
Ash shook her head.
“I hate to be the one to have to say it, but we have to do something about Nastasia. Pretending she’s not a problem just won’t work. We have to do… something.” She needed to be stopped. Even if they killed Pollux, Tristan suspected that she’d just find a new pawn to carry out her dirty work for her. The pawns might change but the queen was still on her throne.
Ash let out a long breath, resting her forehead against his chest and whispered, “There is only one answer here. I must kill her.”
Tristan started, not for the words but the honesty with which he felt them. “You’re really going to kill your own daughter?”
“What choice do I have? There is no reasoning with her.”
“Have you even tried?” He stepped back from her, feeling his anger rise.
“Many times. And last night again, before Kiba bit Desmond. She is just like every vampire I have ever known, set in her ways.” She lifted her head to look at him, curiously making her brow wrinkle. “Isn’t it naïve to think a vampire can be reasoned with, changed?”
“I don’t think so. I mean, look at you, how much you’ve changed since I met you.”
“I have not changed, only showed you more fully who I am.”
He was shaking his head. “I don’t believe that.”
“Then you truly are more naïve than I thought.”
“Ash—” he snapped and then swallowed back his next angry words, going for a softer route. “After watching that child vampire burn alive… I don’t know that I can do this anymore. I can’t keep killing so easily. It’s slowly killing me and if I don’t find a better answer soon, I’m going to lose my mind. And then, then we’ll all be fucked because Mother will have won.”
She was silent in thought for a time before finally speaking. “While I understand the sentiment of wanting to save everyone, I think the reality… There is nothing past killing. It is the only way to stop someone like Malik… Nastasia. And while I understand your mental death, I just, I cannot help but think your way of talking through it will mean anything but your own death.”
“So, you’re telling me, I have to kill. I have to or die.”
She shut her eyes, looking pained. “Yes. It is the burden of what we are.”
“I can’t accept that.”
She looked at him, her expression saying that she was sorry but there was no other answer. There was a sudden presence and they both jerked into motion. Tristan knew all too well who it was not to react immediately to it.
“Pollux!” he hissed and rushed out of the room, gun already out of his holster.
“Wait,” Ash called after him and was suddenly before him, blocking his way to the front door.
“Ash,” he growled at her, “what the hell?”
She put a hand to his chest, stopping him. “This is his plan, luring you outside in the open and taking you. You cannot be rash, he counts on it.”
Tristan huffed and was going to argue but something distracted Ash. Her head tilted towards the front of the house as if she were listening to something he couldn’t hear and then she gasped, rushing off and whispering, “No.”
“Goddammit, Ash!” She just ran off on her own, the very thing she just told Tristan not to do.
He was right behind her as she flung open the front door and baulked at the body lying on the front stoop.
13: Creep
ELINORE…” Ash said in breathy surprise and then hissed a foreign word under her breath, scooping the girl into her arms.
“Is she…?” Tristan asked, not wanting to finish the question.
“Not breathing.” Ash stopped right there in the middle of the hallway leading from the foyer to kitchen and put Ellie down. She dropped beside the girl and started to administer CPR.
“I’ll go find Lance.”
“Already gone!” She shouted as she took a moment to do chest compressions on the unmoving girl. “He left with Kiba while we were still talking.”
“Shit,” Tristan hissed. He felt helpless. This girl didn’t deserve this. “Dammit, why was she even here?”
There was no answer and at a loss, Tristan spun away.
“Where are you going?” Ash demanded but refused to leave the girl as she struggled to save her life.
“To catch a rat by the tail.” As he raced down the front steps, he heard Ash calling out for Wren. Tristan didn’t hesitate, not even for a moment to wait for backup. He had to stop the fiend before any more innocent people fell victim to his brutality.
Letting his instincts guide him, he tore across the property, deep into the woods, dodging and jumping falling limbs, barely missing rocks to break an ankle on. He wondered if this was what it was like for Kiba, to let loose and trust your baser nature, to just go with the flow and run. And Tristan would have felt exhilaration in that moment if he wasn’t closing in on the vampire just ahead of him.
But, wait, it wasn’t just Pollux anymore that he felt in the pit of his belly. He didn’t know who that other presence was, only that it was vampire, but he had a good guess on who it might be. As he slowed, fully aware that they were aware of him as he was them, he wondered what he would do. He couldn’t go home and tell the woman he loved that he killed her daughter, it would destroy them both.
The vampire came into view and Tristan stopped well out of reach. Pollux was sitting on a low limb of a tree, his feet dangling off, kicking in whimsy. His face was dappled with crusted blood and Tristan didn’t have to ask whose it was. Ellie was bleeding when Ash had dragged her inside the house, wasn’t she? The girl’s blood was on Ash’s face from giving mouth-to-mouth. He saw all this and refused to acknowledge it at the time. He couldn’t ignore it now as the boy vampire seemed to rub it in his face.
Under the vampire in the tree was a woman. He knew, objectively that she was Ash’s daughter, her human offspring, but seeing her in person, it was beyond startling. The woman watching him was young, no older than Ash in human years. And in vampire years as well; she felt nearly as old as Ash, without the weight of seikonō. Tristan was taken aback. Nastasia was only a vanilla?
But it wasn’t the way she felt to in his blood that made him forget all speech, stand motionless and prone. Nastasia was born of Ash’s very womb, and yet, that she looked just like her mother was too much for Tristan to handle. She was only a little bit taller than Ash, thick brown hair where it wasn’t dyed a deep shade of blue, same blue eyes and small, elven features. Her nose was less than perfect, curving slightly to the side as if it’d been broken before, her eyes a bit smaller and more cynical and she had dimples smiling at Tristan now, dimples from her father, no doubt.
“What?” she snapped and he realized that she was chewing gum. “You got something to say?”
Tristan flinched and mentally poked at his block, making sure it was still in place. Nice and secure, he just hoped it would stay that way. Looking at the girl now, this woman who looked so much like someone he loved… well, he doubted his resolve and his will.
And he still had to figure out how stop her, and Pollux, without killing either. Or himself.
“Nastasia, I—”
“No!” she roared, dropping her cool act, straightening and taking a step towards him. “You don’t get to call me by name. Who the fuck are you, huh? Just who do you think you are? Do you even know the woman you’re fucking around with?”
Okay.
Tristan took a single
step back. The vampire in the tree caught his attention and he smirked smugly at Tristan, showing off his fangs. “I know you’re angry, but—”
“Angry? Angry! Don’t you tell me how I feel. You don’t know the first thing about me or how I feel.”
Pollux was laughing and Tristan’s free hand flexed as the desire to slug the kid overwhelmed him. He was completely out of his element here. He was better at mouthing off than talking through problems. So just how was he supposed to talk to this angry woman?
He sighed, shaking his head. “You know what I do almost as well as being an asshole?”
A slow smile came over Nastasia. “I hope it has something to do with sex and violence.” She pointed a thumb over her shoulder at the kid in the tree. “This one’s got the rough part down, but he’s terrible with a vagina.”
“Heeey,” Pollux laughed, nearly falling out of the tree he was so tickled. “Give me a break, Master, I just happen to work better with tighter spaces.”
Nastasia snorted, crossing her arms under her chest. “Right, ‘cause a dead body’s tight.”
Tristan groaned. He should have known that a vampire would easily get distracted with the idea of sex.
Pollux shifted on his branch so that he was crouching, looking ready to spring, but Nastasia remained where she was, watching Tristan.
“You took my wolf.”
Tristan shook his head. “He came to me. Guess you’ve got some leadership issues… you know, being a vanilla n’ all.”
The woman sneered. Pollux didn’t seem surprised by this news and Tristan wondered what she had on him to keep the Master working for her and calling her a title she did not earn.
Nastasia got a sly look in her eyes. “Pollux?”
“Yes, Master?”
“This man is nothing to me, but he’s the one who killed your brother. Want him?”
Startled, Tristan stumbled back. “Wha-what?!”
Pollux grinned.
“Have fun,” Nastasia said and took off into the woods.
Tristan took a step after her. “Wait!” His word fell into a grunt as he was tackled by the other vampire. He landed flat on his back with the boy on him, but he was fast enough to get a leg under him and flip the vampire over.
By the time Tristan found his feet, the vampire had already advanced on him again. Tristan yelped in surprise as the smaller man lifted him off his feet and slammed him face first against the side of a tree.
“God dammit!” he yelled, frustrated that he couldn’t get his wrists free of the vampire.
“How was it?” the vampire hissed into his ear. “Killing my brother.”
“It wasn’t me. I tried to save him!”
Pollux laughed into his ear, making them ring. “I can smell the lie on you.”
Tristan groaned through gritted teeth. Pollux was making his blood boil, but for all the wrong reasons. They were fighting, looking at Tristan’s imminent death, but his blood was telling him there was something more fun happening. Pollux’s hard body against the back of his was saying the same thing.
With a little sigh, Tristan shut his eyes and pushed his mental block aside. He thought clearly of how he wanted to save the brothers from their fate, a fate that Tristan was convinced could be changed. And the horror Tristan felt when he saw what the wolf had done to the boy, the sadness he felt at the vampire’s death.
Pollux was shaking against him. “You lie,” he said again, but the words were more for Pollux as he struggled not to believe them.
“I’m not creative enough to make up shit that didn’t happen. It’s all the truth. I wanted to save Castor—”
“Benjamin. His name is Benjamin.”
Tristan felt a rush of relief as the vampire seemed to calm. Without making it too obvious, he let his blocks slip back into place. He didn’t mind sharing the truth when it could calm, but the next truth he felt bubbling below the surface of his conscious thoughts, well, Pollux wouldn’t like.
“Benjamin,” Tristan repeated. “I wanted to save him and I can save you.”
The vampire sniffled and readjusted the hold on Tristan’s wrists.
“What are you doing?” Tristan knew what it felt like was happening behind him, but he didn’t understand why.
Pollux’s pants dropped with the soft noise of his metal belt buckle clanking. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going to fuck you.”
“I should tell you, the last dude who fucked me without permission died.” God, saying it aloud, acknowledging the rape so plainly, made him reel. Tristan felt sick. He was going to vomit right there.
Pollux laughed again so that Tristan’s ears rang. “You think I’m punishing you for failing?” Pollux licked at the blood trickling out of Tristan’s ear and groaned in delight. “No, I’m rewarding your kindness.”
Tristan thrashed as his own pants were opened and shoved down. “I’m perfectly fine with a fruit basket.”
That laugh again and Tristan’s vision blanked out, lost to the pain in his head. He could feel the blood from his ears going down his neck and hoped that he wouldn’t be deaf by the time he got free of Pollux. “Is that why she likes you?”
Tristan’s boxers were nearly torn off him, left to hang off one leg and he gasped in shock at the sudden cold air on his private bits, at the cold, hard flesh pressing against his ass. He was choking on his own fear, the memories of Sebastian doing this very thing to him in France. He understood why Ash wanted to protect him from the memory because in his world, the world of vampires, all there was, was sex and violence. It was what made a vampire. It was their sin.
“Wh—who?” Tristan stuttered out, barely able to speak. He had to pull himself together and hoped he could keep the vampire talking long enough until he did.
“Asta. Does she find you funny? A clown to laugh at? Someone to make her forget all her troubles and responsibilities? Make her forget the lives she’s ruined?”
Feeling a little more stable, he could speak this time without the quake in his voice. “Maybe.”
Pollux’s free hand was on Tristan’s dick now and he shut his eyes, gritting his teeth as the vampire tugged at him. He remembered the feel of Sebastian’s hands, far warmer than Pollux’s, on him. How angry the fae was that Tristan, half dead, reeling from a blow to the head, wouldn’t respond to him. After that, came the taste of Sebastian’s kiss. He was forcing his fae blood into Tristan’s mouth to heal his brain, keep him conscious, make him experience the violation cognizant.
“You don’t know?” Pollux asked, sounding genuinely confused.
Fuck the vampire in him because even as afraid as he was of this happening to him again, he couldn’t fight the sensations of hands and metaphysics all over him. However unwelcomed they were to his mind, his body wasn’t so sure.
“I… I’m more than a pretty face or someone to make her forget her past. I help her heal that past and learn to live in the present.”
The vampire’s hand fell still for a moment as he breathed audibly into Tristan’s ear. Tristan felt like he could think again clearly and he was working out how to get away from Pollux without killing him. He was starting to believe it wasn’t possible. This little experiment of trying to save his enemies would never even get off the ground and he’d be forced to kill, yet again.
“How?” the vampire finally asked, sounding a little agitated.
“I,” Tristan sighed. “I listen to her, understand her and tell her everything will be okay. And if it’s not okay, I fight to make it so.”
“But why?” the vampire growled, his agitation making his hand tighten on Tristan’s groin. “She’s a killer, we all are. What makes us redeemable? Worth saving?”
He had to hold back a wince and swallowed back a rise of panic. “Inherent goodness.”
With an angry growl, Pollux let go of Tristan’s cock and slammed his face against the front of the tree, leaving him reeling and hearing the vampire’s words as if underwater. “There is no good. We are made by evil, born fr
om it, embody it. How could evil be good—you’re fucking wrong!”
Tristan let out a slow breath. “Vampires are not evil. They are only humans with a different path.”
“Of death!”
His face was ground against the side of the tree and Tristan prayed he was smart enough to say the right thing. But then, he realized he didn’t have to be anymore. Help had finally arrived. He must have felt the vampire coming before Pollux did because the fiend was taken completely off guard and cried out as he was torn away from Tristan.
Tristan spun, tripping on his pants around his ankles and quickly pulled them up. His boxers were torn and were bundled up like old dryer sheets in his left pant leg, but he couldn’t stop to get comfortable.
Wren had the vampire by the neck, holding him off his feet despite their obvious height difference.
“Don’t kill him.”
His friend shot him a harried look. “You can’t be serious.”
Tristan sighed. “I am.”
“What do you suggest we do with him because I can’t—”
Pollux let out a roar and out of his hand shot an arc of bright blue electricity. Wren was thrown back, knocking into Tristan. The other vampire, even knowing that he was stronger than a vanilla and a mutt Uruwashi together, turned tail and ran. Then again, he was cold to the touch. He hadn’t fed tonight, didn’t have enough seikonō fuel. Lucky for Tristan and Wren both.
“Baka!” Wren hissed through his teeth and he struggled to get up. His arm shook and Tristan had to catch him to keep him from planting his face into the ground again. When he got the vampire to his feet, Tristan gasped, not meaning too. Wren, understanding exactly why, frowned, looking deeply hurt but refused to hide his face.
“Sorry,” Tristan said and quickly dug around in the leaves until he found Wren’s necklace. “I didn’t mean…”
Wren took the necklace from him but was too proud to hide now. He stared at Tristan a long time, letting him get a good long look at the destruction. It wasn’t enough that the skin had been melted, dripping down his face like thick wax, but the actual structure of his face had been changed on the ruined side.
Primal Burdens: (The Uruwashi Series #5) Page 15