Lily's War

by Shirley Mann

  So, how are you? Have you had any leave recently? We are allowed a few days off here and there but in reality there is nowhere to go. There is very little chance of any relaxation, but we can occasionally find a little bar and take some time for ourselves. I am beginning to hope there may be an end to all this mayhem and I want to plan our first date when I get back. I thought we might go fishing near Reddish Vale and take a picnic. Imagine lying out in the sun on the bank while our supper attaches itself to our lines. I seem to remember there’s some good chub and roach there and maybe even some brown trout. I’m sure you’ll be really impressed with my fishing abilities. It’s the hunter-gatherer in me! You do realise I am the original Tarzan, don’t you? So, none of those city boys or, Heaven forbid, one of those Yanks for you, young lady! It’s a real man you need. Have I convinced you yet? You can’t blame a man for trying. You don’t realise, it’s either you, Lily Mullins, or the broad nurse who can carry one patient under each arm! You have to take pity on me and save me from this fate, Lily!

  Love,

  Danny

  Chapter 15

  The Americans had landed. Since Pearl Harbour, there had been little doubt that they would finally join the allies, and a frisson of excitement went around women all over the country as money-spending, glamorous Yanks arrived on British soil. The Blackpool WAAFs were no different. They had heard the moans from British servicemen who were not quite so impressed, finding it hard to compete with the endless supplies of cigarettes, a fizzy drink called Coca Cola, and chewing gum that the Americans could offer the British girls. And then there were those nylons.

  ‘Oh, for warm, smooth legs instead of having to turn these horrible Lisle ones inside out,’ Viv said with deep feeling, throwing her cap onto the bed and flopping down beside it. ‘Just the thought of it’s enough to lure me into the arms of a Yank.

  ‘Viv Lockett!’ Alice exclaimed. ‘You be careful, you know what they say, “One Yank and they’re off!” ’

  ‘Oh, keep yours on,’ Viv retorted, ‘I’m only joking.’

  Lily and Alice caught each other’s eye. They’d already seen Viv go through an alarmingly large number of servicemen and her flirting was becoming legendary. Viv’s young life in the East End had been nothing but a succession of constant demands by her three brothers, her exhausted mother and her bad-tempered grandmother but WAAF life had opened up a new and exciting world for her and she was making the most of every minute. She had already regaled the girls with stories of boys whispering suggestions to her and while Alice and Lily had been shocked, Viv had welcomed the attention, proclaiming proudly that she would have a man by the end of the war.

  Every week, rumours circulated that the Americans were heading north, but then they arrived at Bamber Bridge, just down the road from Blackpool. The girls caught their first sight of them at the mess. They were impossibly glamorous, and looked like film stars, complete with sunglasses that they called ‘shades’, even though Blackpool saw very little sun. They spoke in an appealing drawl and it was Marion, surprisingly, who was completely bowled over, forsaking the British military men for the more exciting stories of New York or California. For once, lineage didn’t seem to matter.

  At the pub that evening, Marion was the first through the door, deserting her roommates and making a beeline for Archie, Harry and Les, boys from 215 Squadron. Her voice rose above everyone else’s and she revelled in every moment of attention, giggling and laughing loudly at their jokes. Alice was not impressed.

  ‘You wait,’ she told Lily and Viv. ‘They’ll flirt like mad and then get straight back on those planes home, leaving Marion in the lurch. She’s asking for trouble,’ she added, looking over as Marion gave an affected shriek of laughter.

  It seemed to Lily that the war was going to all their heads. It was a necessity of life to have a boyfriend and every male was pounced on. There was a giddy atmosphere in the mess, the pub and on the dance floors as the men determinedly lived for the moment. Blackpool rarely saw any bombing raids and they had become used to living in a bubble where the war was a far and distant threat. It had started to feel unreal.

  Lily sat in their room one night, reading Danny’s letter over and over again. She had just finished her reply to him, but it had been a difficult letter to write. He had been a long way from her thoughts during the past few weeks, but the last letter worried her. His casual words did not fool her for a moment and she realised he had been really ill. She closed her eyes. Recently, she had been having problems remembering what he looked like but as soon as she read his letter, the picture of his chirpy face came back to her, only on this occasion, the face was pale and wan and he looked a great deal thinner. She suddenly sat up straight. It had never occurred to her that he might not come back. No, she told herself, he was indestructible. She pushed all the terrifying scenarios that were racing through her brain to the back of her mind. Danny was like a solid rock in her life and he was going to survive this war in one piece. She refused to have it any other way.

  Lily picked up her pen to write to her parents. They were next on the list and she guiltily acknowledged that they, too, had been pushed to the back of her mind while she got on with her busy life. This new world she found herself in was exciting, her Morse test results were excellent and she was beginning to feel that she was becoming ACW Mullins, not just Silly Lily, the nickname Don had given her when he was a toddler. The uniform gave her a status and an importance she had never felt before. She walked taller, clicking her heels along wooden corridors. She was commanding respect from the officers who were training them because she was learning fast about the different types of aircraft, she had a passion for the world of the RAF, and for the first time in her life she knew what she was talking about. It was a novel experience and she was loving it.

  Then there were the men. Lily’s experience was very limited before Danny, apart from a few bungled kisses after the Boys’ Brigade dances, and she knew she was naïve. She had known Danny since she was thirteen and, to be honest, he had always seemed more like a big brother to her, but now she was a grown woman of nineteen and romance was a more serious proposition.

  She had been watching Viv and Marion out of the corner of her eye and while she did not approve of the overt flirting, she did have a sneaky practice at looking up through her eyelashes in front of the mirror.

  ‘Stupid bat!’ she told her reflection and leaned down to swill her face with freezing water.

  ‘You just watch it, Mullins. This is a false world and none of it is real. You just remember who you are and don’t get caught up in this merry-go-round. Knowing you, you’d be the one to fall off.’

  With this warning to herself in mind, she felt superior to those girls like Viv and Marion who were being caught up in the maelstrom. However, she was enjoying her newfound freedom and was making the most of being a WAAF with an important job to do.

  For that reason, she decided she would give Doug another chance and she urged Alice and Viv to fly the flag for the United Kingdom and spurn the Americans for home-grown men. They left Marion with her Yank entourage in the mess and went off to meet Doug, Scottie and a Welshman, inevitably called Taff, to go to the cinema.

  ‘There aren’t nearly as many air raids here as there were in Manchester,’ Lily said to Doug as they walked in the balmy evening to the second showing at the Imperial, ‘and with these long summer nights, you could almost forget we are at war.’

  ‘Too risky to come over this far west,’ Doug said, ‘and besides which, what industry is there here? They’re not interested in the Pleasure Beach.’

  ‘I don’t care what the reason is, I’m just enjoying not having my sleep disturbed four times a night,’ Lily replied.

  Doug smiled vaguely at her and moved towards the ticket kiosk. He was a pleasant companion but amidst the polite chatter, Lily felt he was holding back. They settled into their seats as Pathé News came on. She glanced across at him and watched his face become an impassive mask, almost as if he d
idn’t hear the rousing music or see the black and white images of Italian towns being bombed by the RAF. She put her hand on his arm, but he didn’t respond and she decided she would leave any questions until he was ready to talk.

  The film was The First of the Few and the handsome face of David Niven kept Lily entranced as she followed the suspense of the story. It struck a chord with her as it triumphed the Spitfire and she felt a shiver of excitement at being part of the RAF. At the end of the film, they all stood for the National Anthem but Lily was thinking about her future. Once the training in Blackpool was over, she would be sent to an airfield where she would be helping pilots to communicate. It was a thrilling prospect and she felt she was ready for it.

  The little group came out into the rain and scurried along the pavement, dodging the puddles and racing ahead. Lily got the giggles and Doug’s face finally broke into a grin.

  ‘It’s good to see you smile,’ she said, twirling round in front of him.

  ‘I know, I’m sorry, it’s not been easy.’

  Lily waited. She didn’t want to push him but Doug slowed down, letting the rain dribble down his face. He haltingly started to speak, telling her that his family had been at a matinee at the Princes Theatre in Portsmouth when there had been an air raid two years before. His two little nieces had been killed and his brother had been badly wounded. He told her in a matter-of-fact voice and in a way, that made it worse.

  Lily put her arm around him and gave him a hug. She didn’t know what to say but was learning that sometimes words aren’t necessary.

  They walked on to Mrs Porter’s in the dark and this time it was Lily who gently reached up to kiss him. He was impassive for a moment and then fiercely kissed her back. He didn’t seem able to stop. He was trembling but grabbing at her clothes in a desperate fumble. She recoiled at his passion and pushed him away in panic but he kept thrusting himself onto her. He was too strong for her and she felt his hand go under her skirt. ‘No, Doug, no, get off me,’ she gasped. He didn’t respond and pushed his hand up her leg. At the same time, he was reaching for his trouser belt. She was becoming really frightened and used all her strength to push him from her, using her knee to bang into his groin. He lurched back in pain and finally Lily extricated herself from his arms and stood back. He was panting but lowered his head.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I must go. I’m sorry.’

  Lily watched Doug in shock. He was stumbling, shaking his head from side to side in embarrassment and shame. She slowly got her key out, her hand shaking. She shook her head at her stupidity. She had taken Doug – and everyone else for that matter – at face value, and because they were all in the services, she had trusted everyone she had come across. It was a shocking awakening that a war did not erase people’s problems, it just exacerbated them.

  Chapter 16

  Lily did not tell anyone about her experience, not even Alice. She decided Doug’s behaviour was a reflection of the strain he was under from his nieces’ deaths rather than an inherent flaw in his character and that he had enough to deal with without her making him a pariah, but she avoided him in the mess and at dances and he equally avoided catching her eye. Alice asked her what had happened between them and Lily replied casually, ‘Oh, I’m not sticking to one man. I’m keeping my independence. Remember, I am going to pioneer women’s flying and after all, David Niven may come along and then where would I be if I was stuck with some lame man?’

  The incident had more effect on Lily than she was prepared to admit, but she decided she was going to try to push it to the back of her mind and concentrate on her career as a wireless operator. She reminded Alice of her promise to help her with the technical side of the course and got out all the books and instructions. Alice took her in hand in the same way she had helped her brothers when they were struggling with their times tables and they both concentrated on improving their weaknesses.

  As always when she was trying to ignore something, Lily became obsessed with her latest goal and instead of going to the mess or the pub in her spare time, she would badger Alice to watch her take her set to pieces and put it together again. Every night that week, Lily got her manual out to stare at the diagrams. She tried turning the diagram the other way up but still it made no sense. At the weekend, after three hours of trying to explain to Lily what all the wires were, Alice’s patience was beginning to wear thin and she was missing a night out with Scottie.

  ‘Why have I always got two bits left over?’ Lily said one night as she looked down at two screws that were left on her pillow.

  ‘I don’t know, but does it matter if it works?’ Alice said in desperation, looking at the clock. ‘If we don’t get a move on, the pub will be closed. Come on, Lily, let’s call it a day. You know we haven’t got long.’

  ‘You go, I’m going to start again.’

  ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake,’ said Alice, with exasperation. She looked over at Lily, who was concentrating hard on a screwdriver, shrugged and got her coat.

  The girls, unaware of Lily’s attempts to blot out her experience with Doug, decided that their friend was becoming nothing short of boring and began to lose patience with her. But, with no other distractions, Lily started to put effort into her work for the first time ever and as her marks improved she became even more determined to succeed.

  One night, when they were getting ready to go out and Lily was still at Olympia with her head in an instruction book, the girls gossiped about how different she was.

  ‘She’s even beginning to walk like Sergeant Horrocks,’ Viv said, ‘have you noticed, she clicks along the corridors?’

  Alice nodded glumly.

  ‘Frankly, I think she’s becoming a pain in the neck,’ Marion said, ‘but then again, she always was. I personally think she’s an empty-headed girl with little substance, but now she thinks she’s God’s gift to aviation. I’ve no time for her.’

  Alice and Viv wanted to argue with Marion but, used to her outrageous outbursts, they just nodded. They had no ammunition to fight back with. Lily certainly had changed and even Alice could not work out why or how to bring back the friend she knew.

  Marion, in the meantime, was concentrating on getting her hair to wave perfectly. She had crimped it with her fingers for an hour but it was still flopping into her eyes.

  She started to ferret in Lily’s things.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Alice demanded.

  ‘She’s got some wax somewhere. She had a candle she melted, I know she did.’ Marion was rifling through Lily’s tin hat, which held all her valuable bits and pieces.

  ‘You’d go mad if she did that to your stuff,’ Viv remonstrated.

  ‘Ooh, look, she’s got a tiny bit of Max Factor lipstick. That’s too brash a colour for her.’ Marion carefully put some on her own lips, pursing them up to make a pout.

  Alice lost her temper and grabbed the lipstick as she pushed Marion out of the way.

  ‘Get lost, Marion. Get your own lipstick, you know how valuable that is to Lily.’

  ‘Oh well, I’m expecting my new consignment from Elizabeth Arden next week, they’ve developed new colours specifically to go with our uniforms. I won’t need any of Lily Mullins’s dregs then.’

  She started to put on a sort of skin coloured liquid under her eyes. Viv, who suffered from terrible spots, really wanted to ignore her but then gave in.

  ‘What’s that?

  ‘It’s what they use on wounded soldiers, a sort of camouflage paint. It’s going to be all the rage. It’s just perfect for any slight puffiness under my eyes.’

  Viv knew she was on a hiding to nowhere but asked anyway if she could borrow some.

  ‘No,’ came the stark reply.

  They all carried on getting ready in silence with none of the cheerful banter that usually accompanied their preparations for a night out. The atmosphere was always so dull without Lily. She used to be the life and soul of the group but she was so focussed on work these days and seemed to have lost her sparkl
e and as a result, the group felt duller too.

  An hour later, Lily came back, smiled wanly at them all and gave a distracted wave of her hand when they announced they were off. She did not even register the colour of Marion’s lips. She had not bothered with makeup for weeks.

  Viv and Alice went off arm-in-arm behind Marion who strutted in front of them. They were making the most of their final weeks in Blackpool and had gathered a fan club of men, both American and British. They giggled to see how the men vied with each other to get the girls’ attention. Doug was still part of the crowd and he had started to flirt seriously with Viv.

  ‘What about Lily?’ Alice asked Viv, when they were on the way home after she had witnessed a particularly passionate embrace between Viv and Doug. ‘Shouldn’t you ask her whether she minds?’

  ‘No, it’s her loss. And you know what they say, all’s fair in love and war,’ Viv retorted, flicking her hair back.

  Alice shrugged and let the subject drop but she decided to mention it to Lily that night.

  ‘Lily, Viv’s getting very close to Doug. How do you feel about that?’ Alice whispered while they did their teeth in the bathroom.

  ‘So?’

  ‘Well, I thought you might mind, you were going out with him after all.’

  Lily wondered for a moment whether she should say something – warn Viv, perhaps? But then she looked up to see Alice scrutinising her face and flicked back her hair carelessly. She still felt somehow, that Doug’s behaviour was her fault and she was not ready to confess her own gullibility.

  ‘No, I wasn’t, I just dated him a few times. If Viv wants him that’s fine. I’m concentrating on getting good marks in my exams, I haven’t got time for men. I told you, I’m going to use this war to really get somewhere in life.’