Land of Strength and Sorrow

by Cassandra Fear

  Cappa was her past, and Malador was her future.

  She searched his face as he stared at the ceiling, his hands folded in his lap. He was handsome, but different. So pale, with thick cheekbones and a wide forehead. His shoulders stuck out from his neck, wide and strong, and even though no fat lined his body and she could see his bones, his lean muscle made him come off as hard and unyielding.

  She snaked her arm out and wrapped her fingers around his. “Thank you for saving us.”

  His gaze dropped to her hand in his; then he looked up with shining frost green eyes. “I didn’t do it alone. We did it together. I do believe, my Queen, we will make a better team than I thought.”

  “I hope so.”

  She didn’t pull away when he touched his lips to hers. Instead, she moved closer to him, into his personal space and touched her chest against his. She realized she no longer wore her armor, only the thin clothing that had been under it, which left nothing to the imagination.

  But it didn’t matter. This was her husband, and if he wanted to see her, then he could. No matter if he’d said he’d wait or not.

  She shouldn’t make him, but she didn’t feel ready to take it that far.

  Step by step, little by little, she would let him in, starting now.

  When she pulled back, his mouth formed an “O” and she couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped.

  “You laugh at me?” he asked.

  “No. But, I must admit, I do find you a funny creature.”

  “How so?”

  Jovi rubbed the back of her neck. “For someone who didn’t want to marry me, you sure respond…” She swallowed hard. “Affectionately.”

  He leaned his face to hers and whispered in her ear, which sent shivers down her back. “In case you didn’t know, Jovi, I’ve been without a woman for a long, long time. Mostly because of my own choice, of course. I never found a woman in our mix that I found compelling enough to tempt me. Then I met you, and there’s something about you that draws me in. I’m not sure what it is, but I aim to find out.”

  The time for honesty had come. “I feel the same pull, even though my heart was given to another, I have decided to open it as much as I can for you. We are married and must try to make the best of it.”

  “This marriage can be reversed if we choose not to consummate it.”

  The back of her neck heated, and she rubbed at it. “We’ll go down that road when we come to it.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Good, then. A reasonable amount of progress has been made already between the two of us. I believe there is a mutual respect being built as we speak.”

  Jovi nodded.

  Malador hopped up, grabbed her hands, and pulled her from the bed. The cold ground caused her to dance across the floor as her bare feet ached from the chill. She stopped on a furry rug next to a make-shift closet. He opened it, revealing a whole wardrobe of clothes. Some dresses, but mostly pastel-colored pants and long-sleeved shirts.

  It was Jovi’s turn to hang her mouth open. “How did you…when did you…where did you get the time to have clothes brought for me?”

  “The land is cold, my Queen, and since this is your first visit, I took precautions and bought you some things. I hope they are to your liking.”

  Jovi nodded and ran her hands over the soft materials.

  “Good, now change into something warm. Then, come outside so I can show you your new home.”

  As soon as he exited the tent, Jovi pulled on a pair of light-blue pants, the thick material resembling layers and layers of wool. The shirt was much the same, and putting it on made her feel plump, but once she stepped outside in her new boots, she was glad for the layers.

  Snow covered everything, no matter where she looked. Trees were buried under heaps of it; bushes disappeared under the frosty blanket. She saw nothing but white as the sun shone against it, almost blinding her.

  There were so many things left unfinished in Central Orendor, most of all Belisandre and the Fire Mages, who now had control of the castle. Her family’s castle. How would they stop them? She didn’t know, but hopefully, they would figure something out, sooner rather than later.

  A strong wind blew and rustled some of the powder around her, touching her face with a fine mist of cold.

  The land was beautiful, but the most frigid temperature she had ever stood in. In fact, her teeth clacked together as her body fought to keep her warm.

  She’d get used to it, wouldn’t she?

  Only time would tell, but as she stood next to Malador, she thought it might be easy to get used to all of it. Her new husband. Her new land. Her new life.

  That is until her eyes met Cappa’s. Then, her heart sank, and she knew it wouldn’t be easy at all.

  His eyes…they held a storm of emotions and when he barreled over to her a cold shiver traveled down her spine, but it wasn’t from the icy wind.

  He grabbed her arm. “I need to talk to you.”

  She didn’t say anything as he pulled her back into the tent she’d just exited. Malador started to follow, but she held up her finger and asked for a minute. He nodded before she disappeared inside.

  Cappa released her, and she rubbed her arm. “What, Cappa? This is already hard enough without this.” She blew out a heavy sigh.

  Cappa paced in front of the large bed, then stopped and ran his hand roughly through his hair. “I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I was wrong. Please. You can’t be his wife.”

  Jovi looked at the ground, but she couldn’t keep staring at it. He had to understand. So, she met his eyes with a solid stare. “I am his wife, Cappa. We are married. It is binding. I can’t turn my back on that.”

  “So you…you…” Cappa swallowed, hard. “Um—you laid with him, then?”

  Jovi’s cheeks heated so fast she felt like she had a fever. “If I have or haven’t is none of your concern.”

  He took a step toward her. “But it is my concern. If you haven’t, it means there is still a chance for us.”

  She shook her head, not able to find the words she needed him to hear. It would have made this so much easier if she’d just consummated her marriage. Then, she could tell Cappa they had finalized the union. That it would be done and there would be no going back to what they’d once shared.

  But she couldn’t tell him any of those words because none of them were true. No matter how much it hurt, she didn’t want to lie to him.

  He took another step closer. “So, since you’ve refused to answer, I know you haven’t lain with him. You haven’t taken the final step.” He paused and smirked as Jovi’s knees weakened. She held on to the table to stay on her feet, but it didn’t matter. He kept inching closer until he stood right in front of her. He grabbed her hands. “Come with me.”

  She gaped at him. “What are you talking about?”

  He pulled her hands, still encircled in his, to his chest. “Run away with me. I’ve asked you once before. I meant it then, but I mean it even more now. I can’t imagine a day where I don’t see your smiling face, or can’t touch your soft skin. When I can’t kiss those beautiful lips.” He sighed. “If you stay with him, we will never get our chance.” He paused, pressing his lips together, then he met her eyes. “I think we deserve our chance, Jovi. Princess? Please, think this through. Who do you really want to spend your life with, if you had the choice?”

  Jovi jerked her hands away. She didn’t have a choice. She never would. A Princess didn’t get choices, and a Queen most certainly did not. As much as she wished she could tell him she would pick him every day of her life, she couldn’t. He needed to stop this. He needed to forget about her. The only way he would do that is if she broke him.

  So, she narrowed her eyes and backed away from him. “Honestly? If I had the choice, I’d pick a King. Not some lowly Princeling who can’t even fight for what he wants. If you were stronger, none of this would have ever happened. If you’d fought for me, then maybe I wouldn’t be married now. But guess what? You didn’t.”
She stepped closer to him again and punched her fists against his chest. “You watched as I struggled to make a decision. You stood by and let me marry another. You gave me no other options. So, Cappa, I think I chose the right man to spend my life with. Malador might not have given me a choice, but since then he’s given me every single one I have needed. He hasn’t forced me into anything except the marriage. He’s a gentleman, and he cares for me. Our marriage will be a strong one.” When she finished, she could hardly breathe. Her chest constricted from all the lies she’d slung at him. But, even though she hadn’t wanted to lie to him, she didn’t have another option. He had to stop this. It was dangerous for him, and for her.

  Cappa’s stricken look shattered her heart, but she kept eye contact with him as his shoulders fell. “I guess I have my answer then.”

  She pursed her lips. “I guess you do.”

  As he moved past her, he turned and wrapped his arms around her. His warm breath tickled her ear. “I know you, Princess. I know you didn’t mean one word of what you just said. That’s why I love you.” Before she could do, or say, anything, he planted his lips on hers.

  Jovi shoved against him, grunting and groaning and not in pleasure. Malador stood right on the other side of the tent. She couldn’t let this happen.

  Cappa didn’t take the hint and pushed forward with her, slamming her against the side of the tent. The fabric warped and she almost collapsed into it, until his strong arms tightened around her.

  And then, he dropped his arms from her, and she fell.

  Jovi hopped to her feet, not sure what had happened. She wiped the front of her cloak to get the dust off it and scanned the area. She spotted Cappa on the ground; a sharp-looking sword pointed at his throat. Malador hovered over him, one foot pressed into his stomach to keep him down, as if the sword didn’t do enough in that department already.

  “What. Are. You. Doing?” Malador glanced at Jovi, maybe to make sure she hadn’t been hurt before he glared down at Cappa.

  Cappa put his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “You didn’t mean to what, have your hands and lips all over my wife? It looked as if you meant it. Every part of it.”

  Cappa shook his head. “No. I mean. Yes. I did mean it. I love her.”

  Malador staked the sword into the soft ground beside him. “It matters not if you love her. She is married now. You cannot do these things. I can’t let it happen, and I won’t let anyone get away with it.”

  Jovi couldn’t breathe. She’d done everything she could to make sure this didn’t happen, and it did anyway. What could she have done differently to stop this?

  She stepped forward, rubbing her palm down Malador’s arm. He’d been right. A King couldn’t look the other way when someone kissed his wife, his Queen. He couldn’t. But still, she had to try. She couldn’t let Cappa die because he couldn’t let her go.

  Malador met her eyes, his soft. “What is it, my Queen?”

  Wrapping her arm around his waist, she pulled him away from Cappa. “Let him go. Nobody knows what happened except us. Just let him go. Send him away. He has a father who is sick. He should leave and go back to Lyenhaus to take care of him. I can’t let you hurt him.”

  “Do you still love him, too?” Malador asked.

  Jovi shrugged. “Does it matter? I’m here, with you…and I have no plans of leaving.”

  Malador rubbed his chin. “Yes, I know. I heard you say those words to this fool.” He kicked Cappa’s side, and Jovi winced. A few seconds passed before Malador looked down at Cappa once more. “Go, then. Be gone and do not return. I will not have you make a mockery of me in my own home. Queen Jovi is my wife, and you cannot change that. Whatever the two of you shared is over now. I’m sorry it has come to that, but it has, and we must all move toward the future, leaving the past where it belongs. Behind us.”

  Cappa climbed to his feet, his eyes on Jovi. He looked like a wounded animal, sadness gleaming from every feature on his face. “Jovi?”

  One more hurdle. She could be kind, and he’d stay. He’d try, at least, but Malador would never let him. So, she had to reach way down inside herself and find the other woman in there, the one who didn’t mind hurting people. And when she did, she placed her hands on her hips and glared daggers at him. “It’s Queen to you, servant.” The words stung her throat as they left her mouth, but she said them anyway.

  Cappa didn’t speak again. Instead, he left the tent. Jovi collapsed into Malador’s arms, and when they left their room once again, Cappa was nowhere in sight.

  Just like she’d hoped.

  With the loss of Cappa, Jovi felt like she’d lost a piece of herself. She hadn’t known him long, but he’d meant more to her than she could ever express to anyone. Especially now. She had to keep moving though. And there were things they had to do.

  Jovi finished shoving some clothes into a bag as a rustle made her draw back, a hairbrush in her hand just in case.

  Malador chuckled. “And what do you expect to do with that?”

  She shrugged, her cheeks heating, but only a little. “Well, first, I’d run at you so fast you wouldn’t expect it, and then I’d smack this over your head. Instant lights out, right?”

  “Probably not from a hairbrush, sadly. But, it would be a valiant effort nonetheless. And, you get a good grade for creativity.” Malador winked.

  Jovi frowned. “What do you mean? A valiant effort, indeed.” She rushed forward, brush in hand and sprung at him. He caught her mid-air as she burst into a fit of giggles.

  Then, he grabbed her wrist and bent it back until the brush dropped and clanked to the ground. Jovi’s laughter echoed through the tent. “Maybe that wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had.”

  Malador kissed the tip of her nose. “Perhaps not, but as I said, definitely creative.”

  Jovi shrugged. “I guess creative is better than nothing.”

  Malador slid her down his front and set her gently on the floor as he stepped past her and held her bag up. “What is this?”

  “It’s my bag. I packed. I’m ready to go.”

  “Absolutely not. You will stay here. I will not have my Queen wandering the lands. Especially with the threat against her life.”

  Anger bubbled from the tips of her toes, traveling up until it seared the back of her throat. She took a deep, calming breath before she met his eyes. “Remember, my King…I am your wife and your Queen, but I am still my own person, and I will do as I see fit. I will never be the type of ruler to hide behind her subjects. I will fight right beside them.”

  The tent flaps shuffled again as one of Malador’s Frost Mages entered. “King, we must go now. Meical is anxious to get his men before something else comes for them. And I agree with him. We shouldn’t dally.”

  “Yes, yes. I know. Just give me a minute, please.” Malador paused and waited until his man left before he continued. “I understand your need to be your own person and would never take that away from you, but, I can’t let you put yourself in danger either. You are a ruler. The people of Frostspher will do anything to protect you. They would lay their own lives down for yours. That is what it means to rule.”

  Jovi put her hands on her hips and dug them into her sides. “That is the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard. A ruler should put his subjects above himself no matter the cost to him. He should be willing to die for his people. He should value his subjects more than he values himself. I will always rule like this, so if you can’t handle it, then perhaps this won’t work after all.”

  Malador grunted, then paced a hole in the ground for what felt like hours, but could only have been a couple of minutes. Finally, with a shake of his head, he spun on his heels and smirked at Jovi. “You are going to be a lot more than I bargained for, aren’t you?” He chuckled as he held his hand out in the air. “No, don’t answer that. Just know I disapprove of this journey, but I will not hold you back from it. If I must go, then you will be at my side.” He held his arm out, and s
he took it without hesitation. “Let us go and greet our traveling companions.”

  Jovi grinned. This marriage thing might be easier than she thought.

  Arm in arm, Jovi walked out beside her husband. She didn’t know how things had become so easy for her. Shouldn’t she be hurt or afraid? Shouldn’t she be missing Cappa? And she did, sure. More than anything, but she didn’t have a terrible husband. She could be happy. Really happy.

  And Cappa had been the first boy that had ever given her any attention, so maybe she’d fallen so hard for him because of that.

  Or maybe she was the most fickle creature there ever was…

  Either way, she didn’t ask for this marriage, but she’d be darned if the rest of her life would be one miserable experience after another. She wanted to be happy, and she’d do whatever it took to get there. Even falling into a marriage she didn’t choose and making the best of it.

  If that made her a terrible person, so be it.

  Meical raised both eyebrows from atop his mammoth. “Princess. Nice to see you. Enjoying the married life, I see?”

  Jovi pressed her lips together and huffed. “Actually, I am trying to. Is that such a bad thing?”

  Meical shook his head. “Not at all. I think it’s great under the circumstances.”

  Finally, someone understands. About time, she thought.

  King Ryan bustled over, joined by Queen Rovia. “Where is everyone going?”

  With wide eyes, Meical glanced at his brother. “We are going to get my warriors, so they will be safe. The Mammoth Fields are right on the border of the Fire Mage territory, so they need to get out of there as soon as possible.”

  “And, I thought, since Malador knew how to get the stone off the stone Giant, we should pick up his kiddos from Mount Soumahalla, unfreeze him, and reunite Bertson with his children. What do you say?” Jovi asked, her voice as sweet as pie.

  Malador angled his head. “Ah. Now I see why you insisted on coming along.” He clicked his tongue. “There will never be a dull moment with you, will there?”

  Jovi blinked several times, conveying her innocence the best she could. After, she laughed. “Probably not, but why would you want a dull, boring life? I want the opposite. Nothing but complete adventure around every turn.” She acted as if she held a sword and thrust it into the air. “Fights and betrayal. Battles galore. I don’t want the boring, everyday life everyone else has. I want excitement.”