Big Meat (A Recipe of Love Book 2)

by Paige Conners

  “Not only is it huge,” I hold my hands up approximating his length. “It’s pierced. I’m pretty sure the guy we thought of as the normal one of our bunch, is more of a closet freak than we thought.”

  16

  Lindsay

  Frankie’s words keep circling in my head on the drive to Anthony’s house. I don’t know why she couldn’t just leave me and my neuroses alone. I freely admit I use denial to keep myself from having to examine shit too closely and it works for me. It lets me concentrate on shit thats concrete, that I can change, not nebulous emotional stuff that I don’t fully understand. I used to worry I was a sociopath because I didn’t fully understand emotional connections. Luckily, I’m just a little stunted not broken.

  I’m snapped out of my thoughts by Boomer nudging me with his head and then licking half my face. Poor big baby. He’s used to having the passenger seat to himself but he has to share with me right now. If this goes the distance, I need to talk to Anthony about getting one of those big SUV’s with a third row we can fold down so that Boomer can sprawl out anytime he drives somewhere with us. I catch myself as soon as the thought circles around in my mind. Dammit, Frankie even has me indulging in pointless day dreaming now too.

  I look around in confusion as Anthony parks in a random parking lot I’ve never seen before. I thought he was taking a different way than normal back to his house but looks like I was wrong. There’s no stores or business nearby to explain why we might be here. Watching Anthony climbs out of his truck and walk around to the passenger door, I tilt my head with my puzzlement.

  After he lifts me down out of the truck, he hooks a leash to Boomer’s collar and then holds the end of the leash to Boomer who daintily takes it in his mouth. Boomer trots across the lot to an opening in the woods that I didn’t notice until right now. I look back at Anthony to ask him what we are doing here when he holds his hand out for mine. I go ahead and grip his hand before we start into the woods following Boomer.

  “What’s with the leash?” I ask still puzzled by Boomer apparently taking himself for a walk.

  “Oh, there’s a leash law in Crum Woods, so Boomer is technically on a leash. He knows the deal, if he hears anyone coming he’ll come back to us so I can take the leash so we don’t get into any trouble,” Anthony answers like it’s perfectly normal for a dog to take itself for a walk in the woods.

  “But what if he sees a bunny or something that would make a yummy snack?” I look around the woods and try not to be spooked by any of the weird shadows and stuff that’s surrounding us. I don’t always do well with new locations, especially if the type of location is one that’s outside my norm. Just within a few minutes the April sunshine is replaced with shade and there’s a chill in the air that wasn’t present outside of the woods. There’s a dank earthy scent that isn’t unpleasant just unfamiliar.

  “He wouldn’t run off like that, it would prevent him from protecting me. English Mastiffs look like they’re just big lovable lugs but in reality they’re one of the most overprotective breeds of dogs around. He will defend his territory, including his humans, against anything or anyone he thinks might be a threat.” Boomer looks back at us when Anthony gets done explaining as if confirming what he said and I start giggling.

  “Where are we going Anthony?” I look down at my outfit of jeans, boots and a long sleeve fitted tee. I can’t even use that I’m not dressed for tromping through the woods as an excuse, other than my boots being biker boots not hiking boots, I’m pretty much dressed exactly as I would need to be.

  “It’s a surprise. It’s a good one and completely safe I promise. It’s a really beautiful place for you to get some great photos,” Anthony answers without actually telling me much about where we’re going. I know he will keep me safe, so I need to trust in him. No matter how much it goes against my nature.

  I enjoy the next twenty minutes or so of walking through the woods. The trail is pretty clear and I see a few squirrels playing in the trees. I laugh to myself thinking of the squirrels I’m used to seeing in the city that are used to humans. These ones freeze and stare at us like the intruders we are. The ones I got used to on Temple campus will come up to you making clicks and weird almost bird like sounds demanding your food. I once watched a squirrel ruin a romantic lunch for a couple by following them around the Bell Tower demanding their food until the girl screamed and threw her fries at it and ran away.

  I gasp when we come out of the woods and I see a small waterfall in front of us. As we get closer, I see it’s not a waterfall in the traditional sense but a small man made dam. It’s only a few feet high and probably twenty feet or so wide, but it’s beautiful. It’s made up of river rocks of various sizes all stacked together to make a solid wall. The water flows over the top before merrily skipping down the rocks to join the creek below.

  The musical gurgle of the water and the birds calling to each other are the only sounds right now. Like the night Anthony went with me to take photos of the snow covered statues, I’m loathe to break the silence. I pull my phone from my pocket and start moving around taking pictures of the falls from different angles. I climb up on a small stack of rocks and get a great video of the pool of water spreading out behind the falls and the water splashing down at the same time.

  Boomer follows me like a shadow the whole time, never more than a few inches away from me. When I was on the rocks, he paced back and forth, I swear he was even muttering under his breath with little doggie grumbles. His owner stood back with his arms crossed watching me more than taking in the scenery. I chuckle thinking about how such an overprotective man, has an equally overprotective dog.

  When I’m done, I scamper back down the rock with Boomer standing by watching me like he would catch me if I slipped. I walk up to Anthony and wrap my arms around him in a hug. I tilt my face back and try to figure out how to kiss him with our height difference. I go up on my tiptoes, and he must see my intention because he leans down and gently kisses me. He keeps his hands on my hips and my ass making sure he doesn’t touch my back. It makes me feel guilty that he has to be careful of what he does at all times. Yet at the same time, it makes me feel cherished that he’s willing to be careful with me and make the effort to make me feel safe.

  “Thank you. It’s beautiful. I never even knew this was here.” I tell him as I pull back from the kiss and lower myself back to my feet and reach up to scratch his beard how he likes. Once again, he doesn’t need words to make his point, his eyes and the soft kiss he places gently on the inside of my wrist are enough.

  * * *

  We’re back at Anthony’s sitting out on his patio, despite the fact that it’s getting chilly out. After we hiked back out of the woods, we came to his place, where he did something delicious with chicken and some orzo. Now with my belly full and a beer held loosely in my hand, I rest on the outdoor couch with Anthony. I’m sideways with my back to the arm of the couch and my legs draped over his while he absently plays with my legs tracing random swirls on them.

  “So, let’s tackle the pachyderm. What happened when you went over to Maria’s?” I pull my foot back and poke him in his rock hard thigh when he hesitates to answer me. He’s gotten a lot better with talking to me, so I’m not going to let him back slide and not use his big boy words to tell me what happened.

  “I went over to her place, or Joe’s place, whatever. He’s busy throwing a hissy fit about how my dad is sullying his mom. He doesn’t seem to get that she’s a grown woman and my dad is a lecher, but he’s not going to chase after a woman who isn’t interested. I can tell my dad is a few strong words away from losing his hold on his temper. Maria kept trying to talk and he wouldn’t let her.” Anthony stops and shakes his head, I’m guessing at Joe’s behavior this afternoon more than what actually happened.

  “I shoved a beer at him hoping it would occupy his mouth for me to have a chance to find out what happened from my dad. I really didn’t want to have to punch him, pretty boy might have cried.” His lips quirk up int
o a smirk and I know he’s joking. He and Joe are pretty good friends at this point, but that doesn’t mean they won’t insult each other every chance they get. “It managed to keep him quiet enough for Maria to explain that it was actually her that made the first move.”

  I jolt with surprise and look at him to make sure I heard him correctly. Knowing Maria, I didn’t think she was the saintly beacon of chastity that she apparently was in Joe’s mind. At the same time knowing Big Tony, I wouldn’t have thought she was the aggressor in their relationship. Like Anthony said, his dad is a lecher, he makes no secret of his love of the ladies, yet somehow, he’s still respectful of them. Maybe it was all the women in his family that would be willing to smack him if he wasn’t.

  “Yeah, I was shocked too. I guess spending so much time together they got to know each other better. My dad said he never would have disrespected her by making a move. He knew he had no business thinking he would be good enough for an angel. But, he was powerless to resist her when she made her interest in a relationship clear, after his doctor cleared him for,”Anthony stops to clear his throat,“to… ah… resume strenuous activities.”

  I give up and let my laughter loose at his awkward way of saying his dad waited for a doctor’s note saying he was healthy enough for sex. The entire situation was a giant ball of awkwardness, so there was no way I could get through this without giggling like a twelve-year old. Anthony glares at me just making me laugh even harder.

  “Well, it’s good to know you come by your silver tongue naturally with your dad making declarations like that. I’m sorry I can’t not laugh. It’s just too funny. Catching anyone in the act is hilarious, that it was your parents, just adds another level of awkwardness.” I lean forward and cup his furred cheek half in apology and half just because I could.

  “Ha! He actually apologized for ‘sullying’ her. In the end Joe is gonna have to accept that they’re two adults and right now they’re enjoying each others company. He’s also going to have to start knocking first. Speaking of, did you really put a new sticker in the elevator for their floor that says, ‘Live Sex Acts’”? Anthony asks.

  “Well, I figured I should warn everyone what they might potentially be walking into.” I impishly answer chuckling at the ongoing label war Frankie, and I have. I have so many ideas for the production floor if she starts making her own cloth diapers, so far “Central Shitty” is winning.

  “Hey, do you have a set of clippers? Mine died this morning.” Anthony is staring at me in confusion at my random question that came out of left field. “You know clippers, buzz buzz hair gone clippers?”

  His face is still puzzled as he answers, “Yeah, I have a set in the bathroom, why?”

  “I need to buzz my sides and probably edge up my neck. Can I use yours?” I ask not seeing the issue here. I have to get my hair trimmed every week if I don’t keep up on the sides myself. It’s not like I have a fancy fade or anything. I just keep the sides super short, but now that I think about it I should learn how to do a good fade. I think it would look awesome and then I could help Anthony with his hair too.

  “Can I do it?” I’m so lost in my thoughts about how exactly hair people pull off a perfect fade I almost miss what Anthony asks. I look over and see he’s sitting up looking excited.

  “What?” I ask just to double check that I didn’t misunderstand what he asked. “You want to buzz the underside of my hair for me? You’re not hoping to shave a penis or something in it are you?” I double check while giving him the stink eye.

  “No, I’m not going to shave a penis or something in your hair. I can’t entirely explain why I want to, it’s just another way to take care of you so I feel like I need to.” He shrugs helplessly but I understand since I was just thinking how great it would be to do his hair for him.

  “Okay, let’s go and you can do my hair. Then I’ll do yours. Also, I apparently need to inspect and make sure I don’t need to start a waxing regimen for you so you don’t end up looking like you’re wearing furry footie jammies.” I ignore his sputtering and demands for explanation while I stand up and pull him into the house.

  17

  Lindsay

  “Okay, lemme get this straight. He shaved your head, and to thank him you slobbed his knob?” I try to ignore Frankie as she waddles after me tugging on my arm. I knew I would get teased by her over this, but we don’t keep secrets from each other, ever.

  “Essentially.” I shrug with one shoulder while trying to tow her behind me. I keep hoping she will drop it, but I know she won’t. I can’t even blame her. I would be up her ass about it if our roles were reversed. “I don’t know if I can explain it since you don’t have short hair. My scalp is super sensitive and his hand tilting my head where he needed it and the knuckles on the hand with the clippers brushing against me randomly.” I shiver with the memory of how it felt to have him buzz my hair.

  Frankie stops walking, and I jerk and have to stop too when she refuses to take another step. I look back and she is stopped with her one arm crossed over her chest and her toe tapping. It is hilarious looking to say the least, Joe is right with his nickname for her of Pixie. Especially with her baby belly in full effect. She has her hair down and curled today and is wearing a pair of leggings and a tight fitting tee that shows off her bump in all its glory.

  “Stop tugging me around woman and indulge my hormones! Joe is all worried about my center of gravity and refuses to indulge in shower sex in case I fall! I need to live vicariously through your sex life, I think I’m about to be stuck with nothing but missionary until my body is not a walking incubator,” Frankie shouts at me in the middle of the sidewalk.

  I almost fall over I’m laughing so hard. I just got dressed down by a horny pregnant pixie in the middle of the sidewalk. I’m definitely going to have a talk with Joe later on. He can’t be fucking her kinky on the regular and then take it away without the rest of us suffering too.

  “Okay, he got me all turned on with the scalp touching. Then we took a shower to get the hair off. And then he pinned me to the wall of the shower like he was a lepidopterist and I was a rare butterfly. Happy now you little nympho?” I tug on her arm and hope to get her moving before she makes us late.

  “Yes, yes, I am. Not as happy as if I were the one who got pounded in the shower, though. Why didn’t you stay the night?” We finally start walking again, and I let out a sigh of relief. I can’t stand to be late. Frankie, however, thinks schedule is a four letter word of oppression.

  “First off, he didn’t offer. And second, I don’t think I’m comfortable enough out at his place yet. At our place I know all the weird sounds and shadows, I know what should be there and what shouldn’t. If I stayed at his place, I probably wouldn’t sleep because I would think every sound was a serial killer or something.”

  “Okay, I can understand that, but how will the noises and such ever become known to you if you don’t stay the night and learn them?” Frankie persists in being annoyingly right sometimes and it makes me want to duck tape her mouth shut.

  “Stop with your logic. Hey, look we’re here. Let’s go!” I happily drag her inside Cistin where we’re about to have the gender reveal party. I never thought I would want to get away from my best friend, but then again, I’ve never been dating someone. Also, she’s never been a pregnant hormonal mess. I swear to god; I found her crying over a laundry detergent commercial the other day.

  I happily pass her off to Joe and retreat to the bar in search of a glass of wine to drown out Frankie’s logic. I’m taking baby steps, and I refuse to be rushed. I’m happy spending time at his house, and eventually, I might stay the night but I can’t think about that right now. I have enough shit to deal with already. Speaking of shit to deal with, I look up and see Maria walking in, arm in arm with Big Tony. I quickly look around and spot Joe in the back holding Frankie, he hasn’t noticed the happy couple’s arrival yet.

  I start towards them to run damage control, when I feel a hand on my forearm, stopping
me without actually holding me still. I take a deep breath and take in the sight of his massive tanned hand on my pale forearm. His hands are so powerful and huge, it doesn’t send a frisson of worry up my spine anymore but one of lust. I know exactly how gentle they can be, as well as, the strength in them. My eyes travel up the length of his tattooed arm and up even further into Anthony’s face and I smile when I see his concerned face.

  “Leave them be Micina. My dad needs to prove that he’s willing to fight to be with her, and that she’s worth the fight, that this isn’t just a secret booty call thing. I know you want this to be perfect for Frankie, but if it isn’t, it’s on whoever messes it up, not you. You can’t always control everything.” Anthony lets go of my arm and puts his arm around my neck tucking me into his side.

  He is so adaptable and patient, I’m convinced he was a chameleon in a former life. One of the things we have addressed in the past month is my PTSD triggers and how we can still touch and be affectionate without triggering them. My two biggest triggers are having my wrists grabbed and my back touched, given our height difference the arm around my shoulders is actually more comfortable too.

  I let out a sigh and go ahead and press my cheek to Anthony’s chest, looking around the gender reveal party for Frankie and Joe. I had managed to avoid Frankie and her inquisition until today, not to mention, all of our other friends. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of my relationship with Anthony, just more baffled by it. I don’t know how to explain it to someone else, when I can’t even explain it to myself.

  I can just imagine how awkward the conversation would be. I don’t even know what title to apply to him. How do I even describe our relationship? It’s just a giant cluster fuck waiting to happen. Why do people need to talk about stuff? Can’t they just accept and move on so I’m not forced to think about this stuff and can just enjoy?