Bear for Christmas: Kodiak Den #4 (Alaskan Den Men Book 15)

by Amy Lamont

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  His sexy smile flashed.

  Holy shit. Hopefully I’d make it to the shower before I burst into flames.

  Chapter 6

  My eyes fluttered open and I was instantly, deliciously aware of all the pleasurable aches from muscles that hadn’t had that kind of workout in forever. I smiled. I’d happily hand myself over for this kind of pain again.

  A small chuckle came from beside me. I turned my head on the pillow to see amber eyes staring at me, a new warmth there.

  “Hi,” I whispered, suddenly shy. Though how I could be shy totally escaped me. This man had pinned me naked to this bed and did a thorough exploration of my body. Afterward, he’d dragged me to the shower (though I’d be a liar if I said I resisted for even an instant), and if there was anything he’d missed in the bed, he’d certainly covered it all there.

  I bit my lip as I pictured him kneeling behind me as the steamy water sprayed down on us. I’d braced my hands against the tile wall while he’d used his mouth to bring me to not one, but two shattering, earthshaking, mind-blowing orgasms. And that was before he stood up and pushed his way into me from behind.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked me now, a smile lighting his eyes and tipping up the corners of his mouth.

  “Thank God for extra large hot water heaters.”

  He burst out laughing and pulled me close, bending his head so he could reach my lips. After the searing kiss ended, he shifted me more comfortably into his side, my head resting on his chest.

  My eyes widened and I allowed my gaze to wander the room, trying to ward off a complete freak out. At the moment, he seemed perfectly happy to hold me, in no hurry to get dressed and part company. Was this normal for a one-night stand? I didn’t have any experience with them, but I wasn’t naïve enough to think that guys in this situation were big on hanging around to cuddle afterward. Unless…

  Was it possible he wanted this to be more than just tonight?

  My heart thudded against my ribs and I squeezed my eyes closed. I refused to wish for more than this moment right here and right now. I made a conscious effort to relax into him, opening my eyes and nuzzling into his chest.

  I inhaled deeply and held my breath, memorizing his woodsy scent and the feel of his hard body wrapped around my softer one. For just a second I didn’t concentrate on every one of my flaws. Instead I focused on how amazing this felt. More magical even then the winter wonderland downstairs. I didn’t expect it to last longer than tonight. But even if it was just one night, hell if it was just one more minute, I intended to hold onto this for as long as I could.

  As if he could read my thoughts, he hugged me closer and trailed a hand up and down my bare back. I tilted my chin so I could look at him. When I did, he rewarded me with a soft touch of his mouth to mine. When he pulled back, I stared up at him, noting the warm look in his eyes. Was it possible he was as unwilling to end this as I was?

  Music suddenly blared from across the room. Not just any music, but the lyrics of “Don’t Cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me” by the Pussycat Dolls. And it wasn’t coming from just anywhere across the room, but from my little black clutch purse sitting on the chair by the door.

  Shit. I dropped my forehead to Nate’s chest. Nothing like being made to feel like a twelve-year-old while in bed with a super elegant, sophisticated man. The ringtone blared again and I tried to bury my head even more deeply into his chest.

  When I felt his shoulders shaking, I braved a peek out from under my hair. He looked down at me, not bothering to hide his grin.

  I raised my head and blew a wayward curl off my forehead. “My friend Paige likes to mess with my phone.”

  “So I hear.”

  No sooner had the words left his lips than the ringtone went off again. Suddenly I felt like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight, about to have my dream man ripped from me so I could return to my boring reality.

  But there was no use putting it off. Paige’s repeated texts meant she wasn’t going to stop. And I didn’t want her to worry about me.

  “I guess I better see what’s up.” I contemplated sliding out from under the sheets and making the trek across the room under his watchful gaze. My eyes darted around the bed, but no matter how hard I prayed, no articles of clothing were close enough at hand to spare me the mortification of having to make the naked walk to get my phone.

  “You stay here. I’ll get it.”

  I twisted to face Nate. He slipped out of bed and retrieved my purse, holding it out to me as he approached.

  The ringtone sounded yet again as I reached for it. I snatched at it, but in my hurry, I managed to knock it out of his hands and the contents of my purse and my wallet went skittering across the comforter. I sighed but grabbed the phone. Cutting her off before she typed another text was my main mission.

  I slid my finger across my phone to see a series of texts demanding to know if I was okay.

  Huh, guess Paige had second thoughts about letting me wander off with a stranger. I debated shutting my phone off and letting her worry for a while. It would serve her right for coming up with this crazy scheme.

  I snuck a peek up at Nate, who was picking my things up off the bed, and couldn’t help a small smirk. I guess I didn’t have too much to complain about. Her idea turned out to have its merits.

  No worries. I’m fine. More than fine. Be home later. I hit send on the text and switched my phone to vibrate before turning my attention to the stuff scattered on the bed.

  “Sorry, I just wanted to reassure Paige…” I looked up to find Nate standing frozen at the side of the bed staring at something in his hand. “Everything okay?”

  He looked up at me, all the warmth gone from his eyes.

  “This your press pass?” He held up an identification card one of my editors had made for me. “Brandi?”

  Even though I was a freelancer, I needed to meet with the editor of the small alternative press occasionally and having identification made it easier to get in and out of the building. The editor had thought it was hilarious when she handed me the card with my alter ego’s name on it.

  I squinched my brows together and reached for the card. “Yes, it’s mine.”

  His jaw tightened and he stood straight before reaching for his boxer briefs. He pulled them on and in short, efficient moves, followed with his pants and shirt.

  “Are…” I had to stop to clear my throat. “Are you leaving?”

  “Did you think I’d be spending the night?” His sardonic tone told me if I’d been holding out any hope for just that thing, I’d been way off base.

  “I guess not,” I whispered as I grasped the sheets tightly to my chest.

  His cold eyes raked over me as he grabbed for his jacket, making me feel more naked than when I’d been laid bare in front of him.

  “Feel free to take as much time as you need. The room’s booked for the night,” he said.

  I sank down against the pillows. All I could do was nod as he dipped into his jacket pocket and came back with a key card. He held it up and then placed it on the desk.

  “It’s been…fun,” he said, once again moving his frigid gaze over my form. “Thanks.”

  Before I could think of one word in response to his chilly parting words, he opened the door.

  A resounding thud echoed in the room as the door closed. I felt like the victim of a drive by. Tears clogged my throat and my heart felt battered. Why would I have thought for even a minute that someone like Nate could be interested in more than a fast fuck with someone like me?

  A tear streaked down my face as I fought to control my emotions. If this was what living outside of my head felt like, I’d take Chinese food and flannel pajamas any day.

  Chapter 7

  “You’re coming with us whether you want to or not,” Jade said.

  I sighed. Paige, Jade, and Katelyn had been trying to get me out of the house all week. Hell, I think they would have been happy to see me out
of my pajamas. But it seemed to be taking all my energy just to shower and write my columns.

  And how ridiculous was that? Since Nate walked out of that hotel room after our night…not even a night. We were only in that room a few hours. But when he walked out the door, he took something with him. Some part of me I couldn’t seem to get back.

  How did I explain that to my friends? I mean, they weren’t stupid. They knew something happened. And Paige knew I went from texting her that everything was great to dragging myself through the door of our apartment with my clothes in shambles and tear tracks on my face.

  They’d asked, of course. I’d been as vague as possible. The first day they hadn’t let up with the questions. But when I didn’t share more, there seemed to be some tacit agreement between them not to bring it up.

  But I had a feeling that was about to change. They seemed to be on a mission to get me to go to brunch with them this morning.

  “Fine,” I huffed out. “Let me go change.”

  “And shower!” Paige called after me as I headed to my room.

  “Whatever.” I rolled my eyes, but then happened to catch a glance at my coffee-stained T-shirt. Maybe Paige was onto something.

  I wish I could say the shower made all the difference. But by the time I was showered and dressed in jeans and my favorite blue marl sweater with the sleeves that came down to all but cover my hands, brunch was the furthest thing from my mind. All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed.

  “Ready?” Katelyn popped her head around the door and smiled at me.

  I tried to conjure up a smile of my own, but I was pretty sure it was a lame attempt. “I guess.”

  “Great!” Not chancing me going back to bed, Katelyn came inside and linked her arm through mine, leading me to the front door.

  Before I knew what hit me, I found myself seated at a table at a tiny bar down the street from our apartment. Their Sunday brunches were a secret we all swore to take to our graves for fear we’d have to wait on a line around the block if word got out about their brunch specials.

  But not even the cannoli-stuffed French toast held my interest today.

  “Shit, this is serious. Emma’s barely touched her breakfast,” Paige said through a mouthful of lobster mac and cheese.

  I wrinkled my nose at her.

  “Yup, time to fess up, Emma. We’ve given you an entire week to stew,” Jade said. “What happened? We thought you’d be lording it over us that you’re the only one close to winning our bet.”

  I stabbed my fork into a chunk of French toast and swirled it through a puddle of syrup. I knew this was coming, but in a week I still hadn’t been able to come up with a logical explanation for my feelings.

  I shrugged and looked around the table at my friends. “I don’t know what to say. I had the most amazing sex in the history of sex with a total stranger.”

  “See, now here’s the problem. You’re frowning when you say that. We expected you to be glowing or gloating or something,” Jade said. “But instead you seem depressed about the whole thing.”

  Paige nodded. “And I saw him. You have no reason to be depressed. He was hot.”

  “I know.” I dropped my fork to my plate with a clatter and sat back in my chair. “Don’t you think I realize I’m acting like an idiot? I don’t know why I’m so…out of sorts over the whole thing.”

  “Maybe a one-night stand isn’t your thing?” Katelyn suggested, her voice soft.

  I nodded. “I’m definitely not a one-night stand kind of girl. But honestly, if it was anyone else, I never would have let things go that far. There was just something about him…”

  “There was definitely something about him.” Paige grinned. “And I have the pictures to prove it.”

  I gasped as she whipped out her phone and scrolled through her photos. She held out the phone for all of us to see.

  Katelyn leaned in close for a better look. “Holy hotness,” she said, her voice a reverent whisper.

  No joke. I couldn’t pull my eyes from his picture. Nate’s profile faced the camera. The same profile that grabbed my attention when I caught sight of him at the hotel. But the photo didn’t do his strong jaw and firm mouth justice. When I closed my eyes at night, I could still feel that mouth as it moved over my skin, trailing kisses and leaving every inch of me aroused.

  And his eyes. His eyes looked dark in the photo, not the fathomless amber with flecks of green I knew them to be.

  His body faced the camera more head on so we could easily make out his broad shoulders and lean waist. But my mind’s eye stripped him of his shirt and jacket. I could see him over me, his shoulders blocking out everything but him.

  I tore my gaze from Paige’s phone and dropped my head in my hands. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  “Holy fuck.”

  My head popped up when Jade verbalized my thoughts. She snatched the phone from Paige and stared at Nate. She looked up at me. “Do you know who this is?”

  “That’s Nate. The guy I hooked up with the other night.”

  She shook her head, her silky black hair sliding over her shoulder. “No, sweetie, this is Nathaniel Wilder.”

  I shrugged, shaking my head. “Should I know that name?”

  “Oh my gosh, I just saw an article about him in the Times,” Katelyn said. “He’s some hotshot media mogul. He owns all kinds of media outlets and interest in artists. The reporter made a big deal about him being super young to have achieved all he has.”

  As soon as Katelyn explained, I squeezed my eyes shut. Of course I’d heard of him. Nate, my one-night stand, was Nathaniel Wilder, media mogul and, if I remember correctly, New York City’s most eligible bachelor for two years running.

  “Oh my God, that’s why Jared Sloane was at the hotel bar,” Paige said.

  Two heads twisted toward Paige. Jade and Katelyn stared at her wide-eyed.

  “You saw Jared Sloane?” Jade whispered.

  “I did more than see him.” Paige grinned. “He and I had a few drinks together while Emma was cozying up to Nathaniel Wilder.”

  I narrowed my eyes at Paige. “Did you know who he was?”

  Paige shrugged. “Of course. I’ve loved Sliding Violet since their first song came out.”

  “Not the rock guy,” I snapped. “Nate. Did you know who Nate was when we saw him in the bar?”

  Paige’s face softened and she shook her head. “No, sweetie. I didn’t. I know the name, but I didn’t realize that’s who you were talking to.”

  I slumped back into my seat as relief washed through me. I didn’t know why it mattered, but it would have felt like a betrayal if Paige knew who he was and let me go through with approaching him.

  Paige rubbed a hand over my shoulder. “You okay?”

  “I guess. I mean, I know I should be.” I sighed and nodded to Nate’s picture on Paige’s phone. “I guess that puts the nail in the coffin, though.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Jade demanded.

  I shrugged. “Just that, I guess I was holding out some hope he might want to get in touch with me.” I threw my friends a sheepish look. “We didn’t exactly exchange lots of personal information, but he saw Brandi’s name on my press pass. It’s not like I’m that hard to find online.”

  “It is possible he’s trying to think of a way to get in touch,” Katelyn said.

  I pressed my lips together and tried to force a smile for Kate’s loyalty, but I didn’t have to look in a mirror to know I failed miserably. “Thanks, Kate. But now that I know who he really is, I have to face facts. There’s no way billionaire Nathaniel Wilder is trying to find me. He’s so out of my league, it’s not even funny.”

  Jade clicked her tongue. “That’s ridiculous. He’d be lucky to have you. I don’t give a shit who he is.”

  Of course Jade would say that. Jade grew up in the same world Nate lived in—that of the rich and powerful. If she saw Nate across a crowded room, even knowing exactly who he was, she wouldn’t think twice about going up and starting a
conversation with him if she found him attractive.

  But I wasn’t Jade. I grew up in a modest house with a middle-class family. I didn’t have Jade’s gorgeous skin or her silky hair or even half her self-confidence. It was a wonder Nathaniel Wilder gave someone like me a second glance in the first place. Thinking I could hold his attention for longer than a night…hell, longer than a few hours…I shook my head. I wouldn’t hope for even another minute that Nate would give me another thought. He probably wouldn’t even remember my name.

  But I couldn’t explain that to my friends. They’d defend me to the death, make excuses as to why I hadn’t heard from Nate yet. But I knew the truth. I was lucky to have the few hours with him I got. And it was time to share with my friends that there was no way Nathaniel Wilder would show up on our doorstep anytime soon.

  “He would have found me by now if he wanted to,” I said.

  “You can’t be sure,” Paige said and then sank her teeth into her bottom lip.

  “I can. He saw my press pass from the Metro Daily. He knows my real name and my pen name.”

  “So? What does that have to do with anything?” Jade asked.

  “Guys, Nathaniel Wilder owns the company that owns the Metro Daily. If he wanted to find me, he could have done it with a quick phone call.”

  My three best friends shared dark looks and I turned my head toward the front door. I had no interest in seeing the pity in their eyes.

  I inhaled deeply and worked to get control of my emotions. When I felt like I could deal with the sympathy they were sure to pile on me, I let out the breath I held and turned back to them.

  “Let’s look on the bright side. I wanted an adventure and that’s just what I got.” I conjured up the best smile I could manage. “Unless any of you have something to share, I’m in the lead for winning our bet.”

  The bet I never wanted to win.

  “I’m sorry.” Paige leaned over to give me a quick hug and I could see the sheen of tears in her eyes. “This is all my fault. If I hadn’t pushed you to do something wild…”