THIRST

by Deborah Bladon

  The phone is to my ear by the time I round the corner. “Pop.”

  He sighs heavily. “April’s latest test results are back. I need you here.”

  “I’m coming.” I sigh into the phone. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  “I love you, boy.”

  “You too,” I say quietly ending the call.

  I rush back to the living room. “I’m sorry about that, Dexie. I’m sorry about everything.”

  My words are greeted with silence and an empty room.

  She’s gone.

  Chapter 54

  Dexie

  I walk into Calvetti’s and draw a deep breath.

  I can do this.

  I hope that what I’m about to give Marti will bring a smile to her face.

  I left Rocco’s apartment two hours ago after he took a call. I’m sure it was important. That’s not the reason I stormed out and went back to my office at Matiz.

  I wanted to scream at him for pulling the strings of my life behind my back.

  I needed him to tell me that California isn’t the place for me.

  Rocco has never told me he loves me. I haven’t told him either.

  Maybe it’s best that I kept that to myself.

  “Dexie.” Marti raises her hand in the air in a wave.

  The lunch crowd has cleared and it’s too early for the dinner rush, so only a few people are seated at tables.

  I don’t wave back because I’m holding a large square white box in my hands.

  I was going to bring this to her with Rocco on her birthday, but I’m not sure if I’ll see him again.

  Suzanne dropped by my office at Matiz when I got back from Rocco’s apartment. She made her offer. I told her I needed time.

  She left with a smile and an assumption that I’ll be packing my bags to head to Los Angeles soon.

  I went home, boxed up Marti’s purse, tied a big blue bow it and came straight here.

  “This is for you.” I push the box at Marti as she approaches me.

  She gazes down at it. “For me?”

  I nod.

  “Come and sit. I’ll make you the seafood linguine.” She motions to a table in the corner.

  I follow her in silence.

  “Are you and Rocco partners yet?” She laughs. “He hasn’t been in for a few days. I miss his face.”

  I miss his face too and the way he kisses me. I miss the promise that was there in his eyes the other night. Today it was replaced with distance.

  “We won’t be partnering.”

  That draws her brows up as she sits in a chair next to the table. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  I rest the box on the table. “I’m not sure when your birthday is, but I wanted you to have this today.”

  “It’s next month.” She leans forward as I sit. “When you’re my age you try to forget when your next birthday is.”

  I manage a small laugh. “Open it, Marti.”

  Anxiety knits her brow as her hands move to the large blue bow. She tugs on one end freeing it.

  Her hands move to her lap. She stares at the box. “My heart is beating so hard.”

  I push my chair closer to her. “I hope that you’ll like what’s inside.”

  Her eyes scan my face. There are years of wisdom in her gaze and gracefulness that speaks of a degree of inner strength I can only hope to have one day.

  She reaches for the box, tugging the lid off. She drops it on the table and peers inside.

  Blue tissue paper is pushed aside by her hands and then she gasps. It’s so loud that the people seated two tables away from us turn to look.

  “Dexie,” she whispers my name softly. “How did you do this?”

  I watch as she reaches for one of the leather straps. She pulls the purse out of the box and sets it on the table in front of her.

  Her fingers run over the old leather that’s now bordered by new leather a shade darker.

  The straps are new. The buckle closing the purse is as well.

  I was able to save the interior. I stitched it back together with an edging of new silk.

  Marti didn’t need a new purse. The purse her daughter gave her needed some love and extra care.

  Her hand slides along the interior to the zippered compartment. A soft smile curves her lips when she feels the card safely inside.

  I know we won’t speak about it. To her, I’m little more than a stranger, but to me, she’s a woman I’ll always remember.

  She reaches across the table to take my hand in hers. “This is a gift. Thank you.”

  I squeeze her hand. “It was my honor to fix that up for you.”

  “I’ll get that linguine.”

  I know she shows her appreciation through food. I saw it when I was here with Rocco.

  “I need to go.” I look into her eyes. “Thank you for trusting me with your purse.”

  Her gaze locks on mine. “You’re an angel. Life is going to give you good things.”

  I’m just a woman, unsure of what tomorrow is going to bring, but certain that I’ll get through it.

  “I’ll take a rain check on the linguine,” I say even though I doubt I’ll ever step foot in here again.

  This is where Rocco’s family gathers. I’ll never be a part of that.

  “Where are you off to?” She pushes to her feet.

  “I hear California is nice this time of year.”

  “It’s nice any time of the year.”

  I stand too. “Take care, Marti.”

  She takes me into an embrace, her hand patting the middle of my back. “Trust your heart. Always trust your heart.”

  I pull back. “Trust my heart?”

  Her fingers skim over my chin. “I know a broken heart when I see one. Give it time to heal and then you trust where it takes you.”

  “I will,” I say softly. “I promise I will.”

  Chapter 55

  Dexie

  I scan the interior of Palla on Fifth until I find the friendly face I’m looking for. I head straight to it.

  “Gina,” I say her name with a smile. “It’s good to see you.”

  She jumps to her feet to wrap her arms around me. “Dexie.”

  I knew when she reached out and asked me to meet her that it was about Marti’s purse.

  She tracked me down on Instagram. She followed me. I followed her and here we are.

  “Can I get you a coffee?”

  I shake my head. “I’ve had three cups already today. I’m good.”

  “I’ll get some water,” she says before I can decline the offer.

  She marches over to the counter and says something to Palla. Palla grabs a bottle of water, tosses me a wave and kisses Gina’s cheek.

  I glance over at the table where I sat with Rocco.

  Tears bubble inside of me, but I push them back down with a heavy swallow.

  I promised myself this morning that I wouldn’t cry today, but I broke down five minutes after I got out of bed and looked over at Rocco’s apartment.

  There was no movement or sign of him.

  Gina sits back down in her chair and slides the bottle of water at me. “Palla will bring us some pastries when she has a minute.”

  I haven’t eaten anything more than a few pieces of fruit in days.

  “I’m not hungry.” I take a sip of the water. “How do you know Palla?”

  I ask the question, so she’ll talk. It’s easier listening to other people tell their stories.

  “Her husband Arlo is my cousin.”

  “He’s your cousin?” I question back.

  “I come here because I never have to pay for a cup of coffee.” She tosses her head back in laughter. “Don’t tell Rocco.”

  She has nothing to worry about there. Rocco and I have nothing left to say to each other.

  “Every single time I’ve met Rocco here for coffee, he pays for it.” She rolls her eyes. “Why pay for coffee when you own the place?”

  I scratch the back of my head. “Rocco
owns this place?”

  “With Arlo and Palla.” She runs her finger along the rim of the coffee mug in front of her. “This is Arlo’s dream. Rocco made it happen. It’s what he does.”

  He’s a good man with a kind heart; a kind heart that will never belong to me.

  I take a sip of the water to avoid having to reply to that. What can I say about Rocco that won’t leave me crying?

  I love him. I want him to love me back.

  That’s not the reality I’m living in.

  “I asked you to meet me to thank you for what you did for my grandma.” She bites her bottom lip. “She showed me the purse a few days ago, Dexie. I can’t remember the last time I saw her that happy.”

  A smile blooms on my lips. “Your grandma is a really special person.”

  “So are you.” Her eyes skim my face. “You put a lot of thought and care into that bag. I don’t think anyone else would have done that.”

  Maybe. Maybe not.

  I had to because I knew that to Marti it was priceless.

  My phone chimes in my purse luring Gina’s eyes to it. I open the baby blue satchel and tug out my phone. It’s a text from Shona. It’s nothing urgent, so I drop my phone back in and clasp it shut.

  “Did you make that?” Gina circles her finger in front of the purse.

  I nod. “I did.”

  “Dexie, that’s gorgeous.”

  I like that she thinks so. She’s dressed in a low cut dress today that’s the same shade of red as the blouse and pants I’m wearing. The heels on her feet are a designer brand. She looks like she just stepped off a runway.

  Her fashion sense is killer.

  “Thank you.” I smile at the compliment. “I’m glad you like it.”

  “Can I buy it?” She laughs. “Or one like it?”

  “You want to buy one of my bags?”

  “Or more,” she says tentatively. “Do you have a website? Is there a place where I can see what you have available?”

  “My apartment.” I glance at the watch on my wrist. “I have a bit of time after work. We can meet there.”

  She rubs her chin. “When are you done work?”

  “An hour and a half from now.”

  I’ve been staying late every night to avoid the windows in my apartment and the off chance that I might see Rocco. I need to leave my office at quitting time today. There’s somewhere I need to be at nine o’clock tonight.

  “I’ll wait here.” She leans back in her chair. “Swing by and pick me up when you’re done for the day so I can go purse shopping.”

  Chapter 56

  Rocco

  “It’s not a good time, Gina,” I say into my phone. “I’ve got a lot going on.”

  “Like what?” she spits back.

  “I can’t get into it now.” I point my hand toward the corner, directing my attention to the taxi driver. “Turn right up there. It’s faster.”

  I lean back against the worn leather seat.

  “Are you on your way home?” She questions, the sounds of the city behind her.

  “Why?” I push back. “Who broke your heart today?”

  “Meet me at the restaurant.”

  “I can’t.” I curse under my breath when we slow in heavy traffic.

  I’m on my way to my apartment, so I can shower, check in with Jared about a few pressing issues, and then round up some food to take back to the hospital.

  “Meet me now,” she insists. “This is important.”

  “Fine, Gina. I’m a block from there. I’ll see you soon.” Ending the call, I pull my wallet out of the pocket of my jeans and toss the driver a few bills. “Keep the change.”

  Opening the car door, I slide out and weave my way through the traffic to the sidewalk.

  I spot Gina as she rounds the corner with at least a half dozen brightly colored handbags in her hands.

  I stalk toward her reaching out my hands to take some of the bags from her. I recognize them.

  Dexie’s hands have touched them. Her careful attention has gone into every detail of the design of these handbags.

  “Thank you,” Gina says breathlessly. “I went to your place, but obviously you weren’t there.”

  I haven’t told Gina about April yet. She loves my Pop. They may not be related by blood, but their bond is strong.

  I’ll have to hold Gina’s hand through this too and I can’t do that until I know exactly what we’re facing.

  I called in a specialist this morning. Once she’s had a look at April, I can sit down with the family and share the news.

  “I’m busy, Gina.” I know I sound brusque, but I’m running on two hours a sleep a night and coffee.

  “You need to see what Dexie did for grandma.”

  I don’t need to see that. A thread is holding my heart together. It’s tenuous.

  We stand at the light waiting to cross. “What did she do?”

  I’d rather hear about it than see it. Once I walk into Calvetti’s Marti will take one look at me and know my world is falling apart around me.

  “You’ll see,” she says before starting across the street.

  I follow one step behind her until we reach the door to my grandmother’s restaurant.

  Gina pulls it open and walks in. I follow wishing to fuck that I wouldn’t have answered that call.

  ***

  “It’s beautiful, Rocco.” Marti swings her purse in the air in a circle. “Just look at what she did for me.”

  I can’t look at it anymore.

  It’s too much.

  All of this is too fucking much for me.

  “I bought all of these from her today.” Gina glances over at the array of handbags she placed on the table next to us.

  “I already posted one to my Instagram.” She waves her phone in my direction. “Over twenty thousand likes already. Dexie’s business is about to blow up.”

  “You saw her today?”

  Both Marti and Gina look over at me. I heard my voice. It doesn’t sound like me.

  Gina’s oblivious to the pain in it. “I was with her right before I came here.”

  I clear my throat. “How is she?”

  Marti turns in her seat to look right at me, but she doesn’t say a word.

  “She seems sad.” Gina shrugs. “I don’t know Dexie very well, but she seemed sad.”

  “Gina, get me a glass of red wine.” Marti’s arm flies in the air. “Take your time.”

  Gina’s eyes are glued to her phone. “In a minute. My post about Dexie’s purse is blowing up.”

  “Go.” Marti looks over at her. “Now.”

  “Fine.” Gina pushes to her feet. “I’m grabbing one for myself too.”

  Marti waits until Gina is out of earshot. “That’s not a surprise.”

  I smile faintly. “How are you, Marti?”

  “Mad at you.”

  I toss my head back on a sigh. “I’m sorry I haven’t been in. There’s a lot of shit going on right now.”

  “Your mother wouldn’t like that language.”

  I don’t need the reminder about my mother, or Irena, or April, or Dexie for that matter.

  “This is why Dexie has a broken heart.” She pushes on my elbow. “You broke that girl’s heart. I saw the pain in her face the other day.”

  Digging the palms of my hands into my eye sockets, I shake my head. “We’re not doing this, Marti. I can’t do this.”

  She tugs on my forearm. “You love her.”

  “With everything I am,” I admit as tears fill my eyes.

  “She loves you.”

  I wipe my hands over my cheeks. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Like hell, it doesn’t.” Her hand leaps to cover her mouth. “You’ve never loved a woman before.”

  I take a deep breath before I blow out a long exhale. “I can’t, Marti.”

  “Can’t what?” She squeezes my shoulder. “Tell me what you can’t do.”

  “Marry her, watch her have my children, build a life with her and th
en wake up one morning without her.”

  Tears stream down her cheeks. “Can you wake up every morning now without her?”

  No. I can’t go to sleep without her. I can’t fucking breathe without her.

  I turn my head to look at her, wiping a tear from her cheek. “What happens if I lose her one day?”

  “You don’t worry about that day.” She holds my hand to her cheek. “You worry about all the days you have with her. Each one of those days is a gift.”

  I scrub my hand over the back of my neck.

  “Loss is part of life.” Her mouth softens into a smile. “If someone would have told me that your grandfather wouldn’t be here with me now, I still would have married him.”

  “You would have?”

  “Over and over again.” She squeezes my hand. “I wouldn’t have traded one day with him for a lifetime with another man.”

  “I need to go.” I kiss her hand. “I’ll be back when I can.”

  “You go to her.” She looks into my eyes. “You tell her that you love her and you never let that girl go.”

  Chapter 57

  Dexie

  My phone chimes again inside my black leather tote.

  My Instagram follower count has been ballooning since Gina left my apartment. I watched her post a picture of one of my handbags with a tag to my account. She has millions of followers, which means a lot of potential customers.

  I glance out the window of the Uber as we maneuver through the early evening traffic of Manhattan.

  “What time is your flight?” The driver has been trying to chitchat me up since he picked me up.

  I’ve kept my answers short and sweet. I’ll do the same now.

  I glance down at the watch on my wrist. “I have time.”

  He nods as he gazes at me in the rearview mirror. I’m not a sight to behold.

  After Gina left my apartment, I finished packing my overnight bag and then I changed into jeans, a blue T-shirt and sneakers.

  My phone chimes again so I dig it out of my bag.

  I manage a smile when I read the text message on the screen.

  Sophia: I hate you.

  I type out an instant response.

  Dexie: You love me.

  I watch as the three dots bounce on the screen as she replies.

  Sophia: Who will wear my clothes if you move to California?