ODD NUMBERS

by M. Grace Bernardin

  “Anyhow, I know I really didn’t answer your question but the truth is I got no answer. I’m scared, Allie. I don’t wanna drink again. I don’t wanna die either. I’m afraid I’m in too bad ‘o shape for anything else.”

  “I don’t believe that. You’re a fighter, Vick. We were all wondering if you were going to make it twenty-four hours ago, now look at you. You know the body has an amazing ability to repair itself.”

  “I don’t know. We ain’t talkin’ about a skinned knee. We’re talkin’ about a badly damaged liver.”

  “Even so.”

  “Now you’re talkin’ about miracles. Thought you didn’t believe in them.”

  “Just when it comes to myself I don’t,” Allison said.

  “Then maybe we need to believe for each other.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” Allison thought that maybe the best thing she could do for Vicky was to hope.

  “Vicky, I almost forgot! I’ve got your hope chest. Well, actually Sally’s got it! Do you remember the conversation I had with you about it yesterday?”

  “No! What do you mean Sally’s got my hope chest?”

  Allison told her the whole story about how Sally had bought it from an antique dealer with contents still in it. She told her all about the lock and how they thought they would have to break it until yesterday when the ICU nurse gave Allison Vicky’s belongings, one of those being a key on a chain. Vicky confirmed that it was in fact the key and how she was so drunk and desperate when she hocked the chest she forgot to empty it out or give them the key. She cherished the key and wore it around her neck because it was the only thing she had left of her grandmother.

  “Sally’s supposed to bring it over tomorrow and open it with me.”

  “Oh, please,” Vicky pleaded. “Bring it here… to the hospital, you and Sally. I just gotta be there when you open it. I never opened it Allison.”

  “You’re kidding me!? You mean you have no idea what’s in there?”

  “Oh, I got an idea. Grandma quilted and sewed a lot. I’m pretty sure it’s some stuff she made, but what exactly, I don’t know.

  “I can’t believe this! I just can’t believe this! I mean I knew Lamasco was a small town and all, but what are the odds of Sally running across my old hope chest and buying it. I could’ve kicked myself when I sobered up and realized I’d hocked it. I always hoped I could get it back one day, but I never thought…” Once again, Vicky’s words were choked with emotion.

  “Vicky, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I don’t know that we can bring the chest in to the hospital. Don’t they have rules about that kind of thing?”

  “Rules? What d’ya mean?” Vicky asked as if the thought had never occurred to her.

  “Well, ya know, it could look suspicious–us haulin’ a big ol’ chest like that into a public institution like the hospital. They might think we’re terrorists or something.”

  “Yeah, Allie ol’ girl, you are one shady lookin’ lady; what with that perfectly smooth rich lady blond hair that goes flip on the end and them expensive designer clothes; and them stiletto heels which are just perfect for runnin’ and divin’ behind buildings and tossin’ grenades. Yeah, sure, I’d take ya for a terrorist. Besides, if security stops ya, all ya gotta do is sic Sally on ‘em. They’ll be beggin’ ya to go on your merry way before ya know what hit ya.”

  “So, Sally and I are just supposed to waltz in here with your chest like it’s nothing.”

  “That’s exactly right! If you act like you know what you’re doin’, ain’t nobody gonna stop ya.”

  “If I recall it’s made of cedar. I don’t know if Sally and I can carry it all that distance, from the parking lot all the way in here and up to your room.”

  “I suggest you don’t wear your stiletto heels that day. Better yet, getcha some able-bodied men to haul it up here for ya.”

  “Like who am I gonna ask? Frank!?”

  “How about Chief Bobby? I can arrange to have him meet you here. And what about that young-un of yours?”

  “Who Alex?”

  “He’s a teenager, ain’t he?”

  “Yes, but…”

  “So he can help. Besides,” Vicky said, her take charge steam suddenly evaporating with the exhalation of a deep sigh. “I would like to apologize to him for causin’ the accident and breaking his nose. It’s just somethin’ I feel I gotta do.”

  “Well, it’s strange you would suggest that because he’s asked about you; you know, how you’re doing and that kind of thing. He actually asked if he could come to the hospital and see you.”

  “Ain’t that a coincidence? What did ya tell him?”

  “That you were too sick for visitors. At the time you were.”

  “I’m not now.”

  “Strange what a difference a day can make. Well, okay then, dear heart, if you’re sure about this I’ll see what he’s doing tomorrow night,” Allison said with a smile as they turned around at the end of the hall.

  “Is there anything I can get you?” Allison asked after they arrived back at Vicky’s room and she prepared to make her departure. “Anything you need or want?”

  “There’s only one thing I want,” Vicky said.

  “What’s that?”

  “A drink.”

  Allison let go a slight chuckle until she saw from the look on Vicky’s face that she wasn’t kidding. For the first time it struck Allison just how much Vicky was struggling to overcome this addiction.

  “The second you leave here today it’ll be all I can think about. Somehow it’s worse when I’m alone. And at night.”

  “Oh, God, Vicky, I’m so sorry.”

  “I ain’t tryin’ to make you feel bad. I know not you, nor anybody else can sit here with me and hold my hand for the rest of my life, or until it goes away, whichever comes first. I just gotta deal with it.”

  “What can I do?” Allison asked feeling so completely hopeless.

  “You can pray for me.”

  Chapter 38

  Allison, Sally, and Alex rode together in Allison’s minivan. The far back seat was pushed down to make room for Vicky’s hope chest which took up more space than Allison anticipated. It was larger than what she remembered, which struck her as kind of funny. Most things from the past seemed smaller in reality than what appeared in the memory. Perhaps it was different this time because she had to help lift the big, heavy, and cumbersome thing and maneuver it just so to fit the relatively small space in the back of her vehicle. The moment they closed all the doors of the minivan and departed for the hospital, Allison noticed immediately the scent of Vicky’s old apartment.

  “My God, it smells like Vicky’s place!” Allison said as memories flooded her from every direction. “Suddenly I’m back at Camelot.”

  “I’ve gotten used to it I guess,” Sally said. “But when I first got it my entire house smelled like Vicky’s place; which is weird as all get-out considering she hadn’t owned the darn thing in years.”

  Allison checked her rear view mirror. The middle section of seats was pushed up all the way to allow room for the hope chest. Poor Alex who sat in the passenger side seat barely had room for his long lanky legs. All that Allison could see in the mirror was Alex’s face and knees, and the hope chest looming behind him like some strangely auspicious beacon, despite the fact it almost completely obstructed her view out the rear window.

  “Okay Al junior,” Allison said to Alex. “You’ve got to check my blind spots for me ‘cause that thing is blocking my view.

  “You got it, Al senior. I’m the blind spot expert,” Alex said kneeling in his seat to look around the hope chest. They hadn’t called each other by their nicknames in such a long time, and it felt good to Allison to be doing so again

  “Just be careful. You’ve got your seatbelt off.”

  “You’re clear, Mom,” Alex said and Allison flipped her turn signal on to change lanes.

  Allison’s newfound fear of deploying airbags, combined with this huge thing in the ba
ck obstructing her vision, and Sally’s incessant chatter made this trip a particularly nerve-wracking one. Then she would remember to take a deep breath, and when she did, she breathed in the fragrance of good memories that transported her back to a simpler time before disillusion and dashed dreams. She would smell that scent anew and she had that feeling she hadn’t felt in years. Promise. That was it! She smelled the scent of Camelot and Vicky’s old apartment and she remembered what it felt like to be young and to have promise. The anxious feeling would cease as she temporarily escaped into the past.

  She glanced back in the rear view mirror again. She saw promise there in Alex when she’d catch him in these off guard moments and she wondered if he could still feel promise, or if in those tender years it had been wiped out completely by her and Frank. She had to laugh to herself as she noted the awkward way he was seated with the lack of leg room forcing his knees practically up to his chin. How awkwardly adolescent the whole image was with the knees, the shaggy hair, the head back, the eyes closed, earplugs in place with his ipod drowning out the sound of adult chit-chat, his mouth moving silently along to the lyrics, and most funny of all, the white gauze dressing which covered his nose after the surgery where his nose bone was re-broken and set. She felt that familiar pang in this moment when time paused so obviously between childhood and young adulthood.

  Allison encouraged Alex to drive that day but he declined. He hadn’t driven since the accident. Perhaps this time it was a good thing, Allison thought, because Sally would have made him a nervous wreck.

  “It’s just like riding a horse,” Sally remarked to Alex shortly after they began their trek to the hospital. In her usual uncanny way, she picked up on the one thing he didn’t want anyone to know; in this instance, his reluctance to get behind the wheel again. “You gotta get right back on that horse after it bucks you off. It’s the only way you’ll overcome that fear.”

  Allison looked in the rear view mirror to see Alex’s reaction to Sally’s statement. She knew at just what angle to look to catch a glimpse of his eyes behind the ever-present curtain of those long bangs. In between the smug adolescent apathy came another one of those off guard moment when he caught sight of his mother’s eyes in the rear view mirror. A spontaneous yet ever so subtle smile of amusement passed over his face in response. She was grateful for this moment of connection, this private joke with her long lost son. After Sally’s remark, he turned up the volume on his ipod and closed his eyes again–a signal Sally didn’t pick up on. Allison wished for just one moment she could be a rude adolescent and stick a pair of earplugs in her ears.

  “I have to say in his defense, Sally, it’s only been a week,” Allison said turning into the long drive of Mercy Hospital and following the arrow to the Main Entrance sign. “He’ll drive again when he’s ready. Won’t you, Al?”

  “Oh, my gosh!” Sally blurted out without responding to Allison’s comment. “We’re here already. I gotta call Tim and let him know.”

  “Tim? Are we talking about Tim Schultz?” Allison asked in surprise.

  “Yeah, he’s meeting us here. Didn’t I tell you?”

  “No,” Allison said feeling resentful that Sally had taken it upon herself to invite Tim without informing her.

  “I thought Alex could use some help hauling that thing up to Vicky’s room.”

  “But Chief Bobby’s going to meet us here.”

  “Who?! What?! You mean that crazy cousin of hers! I thought he was dead.”

  “Apparently not! He’s supposed to meet us here at the front entrance and help us unload the chest.”

  “Well if you can invite someone without telling me then don’t get mad at me for doing the same thing,” Sally said.

  “Okay, so Bobby, like it or not, is her family. The only living next-of-kin Vicky has. It’s only right he should be here, but why invite Tim Schultz? What was the purpose of that except to stroll down memory lane? Why don’t I just call Frank and you can give Barb the intern from down the hall a holler and we can just have a little Camelot reunion?!”

  “Great idea! Dr. Barb could be our second medical opinion,” said Sally.

  “I was being facetious.”

  “So was I. I don’t even know where Barb is anymore. Last I heard it was the Dallas/Ft. Worth area but we stopped exchanging Christmas cards a few years ago so I’m really not for sure.”

  “You mean you actually lost touch with someone?”

  “I know, I know. I really should Google her.”

  “Oh, for crying out loud, Sally! You still haven’t answered my question. Why does Tim have to straggle along? This is a very sick woman we’re talking about and she doesn’t need a room full of rubber-necks standing around gawking while she goes through this chest. You know what an emotional ordeal this is going to be for her.”

  “Well, you know, you did bring your son. No offense, kiddo,” Sally said craning her short neck around to address Alex in the back seat

  “That’s different! She specifically asked to see Alex. I think she wants to tell him she’s sorry... you know about the accident. But Tim? Why in God’s name?”

  “You’re speaking of Tim like he’s some stranger I just picked up off the street. He’s an old friend. He cares about Vicky.”

  “Don’t take it personally, Ms. Bruckens,” Alex piped in, much to Allison’s surprise who thought he was still listening to his ipod. She looked in the rear view mirror and saw him with ear plugs off fully engaged in the conversation.

  “Please call me Aunt Sally.”

  “Aunt Sally… don’t take it personally. Mom’s just embarrassed ‘cause Mr. Schultz is handling the divorce.”

  “That has nothing to do with it!” Allison protested as she slowed down and turned into the U shaped drive under the awning of Mercy Hospital’s main entrance.

  Tim Schultz and Chief Bobby had already bumped into each other and were standing there waiting together by the automatic doors, conversing like old friends.

  “Now that’s an unlikely pair of old misfits!” Allison said unable to stifle a laugh. There stood Tim in his suit and tie still looking like the up-to-no-good playboy; still boyishly good-looking in that moment of recognition when he smiled and waved; still very much the same except for the beer gut and receding hairline. It was unmistakably Bobby, his face being much the same as she remembered though his skin was more leathery, and all around each feature were deep etchings where the passage of time had left its mark. His long dark hair still hung past his shoulders but was now sprinkled with a bit more grey. In contrast to Tim’s expensive looking wool overcoat and perfectly polished dress shoes, Bobby wore old beat up work boots and what appeared to be a deer skin jacket with fringe hanging down.

  “They sure seem engrossed in conversation. What do you suppose those two have to talk about?”

  “The old glory days. You know, Tim used to buy cocaine from him back when we lived in Camelot, back when he was public defender and Chief Bobby was one of the biggest drug dealers in town.”

  “I really didn’t want to know that. Please don’t tell me these things. Especially not when others can hear,” Allison whispered and motioned with her head to the back seat where Alex was sitting.

  “He can’t hear,” Sally whispered back.

  Allison looked in the back seat. Alex was listening to his ipod again and seemed oblivious, but Allison wasn’t convinced he couldn’t hear.

  A nurse wheeled a patient out through the automatic door. “Oh, great! Where do I park?” Allison said. “This is where they see discharged patients off and make sure they get safely in their cars. I’m blocking the doggone drive so that I can move a huge piece of furniture into the hospital. Suddenly I’ve become the kind of person I usually get stuck behind and would like to kill.”

  “Pull up, pull up!” Sally commanded.

  “I’m not going to pull up any further, Sally. I’ll block the sidewalk ramp and they won’t be able to get wheelchairs to their cars. I’ll just stay back here by the curb
. They can come to us.” Allison tooted the horn to get the attention of the two men. Tim acknowledged with a broad grin and a wave, Bobby with a slight, almost formal nod of the head and an even slighter change in facial expression which conveyed something like a greeting. Allison rolled down the driver’s side window as the two approached the car.

  “I’ll open the back, Mom,” Alex said and hopped out of the car before she could even turn around.

  “He’s a good kid,” Sally said.

  “Lately he has been. Maybe his hormones are settling down.”

  “Just say thank you and accept it. You know, we were that age once,” Sally said.

  “Thanks Sal–for the compliment and the reminder.”

  Allison greeted Tim with a polite but distant hello. She felt so awkward around him now. She couldn’t think of him as an old friend, but rather Frank’s lawyer. Since the separation she wasn’t sure who her true friends were anymore.

  Tim seemed oblivious to Allison’s guarded greeting as he reached through the driver’s side window and gave her a heartfelt hug. Allison perfunctorily returned it with a few quick rich lady pats to the back. Without a word, Bobby went to the back of the van to help Alex with the chest. Bobby and Alex carried the chest (with Tim following behind) into the main lobby of the hospital where they agreed to meet up with Allison and Sally after they parked the van.

  “You know it’s too bad Barb isn’t here,” Sally said as they made their way back to the hospital lobby after parking the car. “That way we could have a doctor, a lawyer and an Indian chief.”