“Me? Did I do something?”
“No, it’s what Andie did. She set me up on a date with a black man.”
Jamal frowned. “But you’re black too. I don’t understand the problem.”
“See, that’s just it. People have it in their heads that we should all date only from our own cultural backgrounds. She has two friends who are black, and she assumes they should go out together. It’s like when you’re watching a show on TV and there’s a black character, and then they introduce another one, and you know they’re going to end up together, like there’s some kind of rule. What if … what if I want to date someone from China? Would that be so terrible?”
“Of course not, but I don’t think Andie meant anything by it. I mean, think about it. She and I are friends, the two of you are friends, you were coming here, so she thought we should meet—the whole mutual-friend thing. I’m sure she would have had the same thought if I was blond and blue-eyed. Or if you were.” Jamal wasn’t sure how the conversation had taken this unusual turn. “Andie’s not that kind of person.”
“I know, and I really didn’t mean to sound like I was accusing her of anything. I just get so . . . irked. There are lots of great people out there to get to know, but people only introduce me to their black next-door neighbor or their black barista, not their white ones or Latino ones. It’s a kind of prejudice, from where I stand.”
“Or you could choose to see it from a different perspective,” Jamal pointed out. “Maybe those people you’re being introduced to are really awesome, and you need to look beneath the color of their skin.”
“What? Now you’re making me sound prejudiced.”
Jamal shrugged. “Well, think about it. If you don’t want to be introduced to black men anymore, isn’t that being prejudiced? You just talked about there being a lot of great people out there—why can’t some of them be black?”
She fell silent for a minute, then chuckled again. “You’re right. You’re right. I just get so caught up in wanting things to be equal that I forget about the things that are already pretty great. I look for fights—I always have.”
“Because you want to excel,” Jamal filled in. “Because of the expectations that have been placed on you.”
“Exactly. Maybe you shouldn’t have given up therapy. You’re pretty good.”
He shook his head. “No, I’ll leave that up to the experts, like Jaclyn. You should go meet her tomorrow. She’s something else.”
“You have a counselor here on the ranch?”
“Um, no, but she’s the next-best thing. She lives in the little house just outside the RV park over there. Trust me—it’s worth your time.”
“All right,” she replied, sounding mystified.
They stood up and began walking toward the dining room. Jamal was starving and couldn’t wait to sink his teeth into a steak. “I really am sorry,” Kerry said. “I don’t know what gets into me sometimes.”
“You want a better world. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Yes, but there’s a better way to go about it, I’m sure. I just have all these causes, all these things I’m interested in, and I get carried away.”
“You might also say that you get Kerry-ied away. Get it? Because your name is Kerry?”
She just looked at him.
“Sorry.” He held up both hands. “I get corny when I’m hungry.”
“I can see that.” She glanced down at what she was wearing. “Should I run up and change? I’ve been hanging out with animals all day.”
“There’s not a dress code for the dining room, but you could step into the restroom and wash up if you want. Maybe your face in particular.”
“Why my face in particular? What’s the matter with it?” She was suddenly panicked.
“Just a little smudge. It’s nothing serious.”
“You were going to take me out to dinner with a smudge on my face?” She started wiping her cheeks with the backs of her hands. “In public?”
“It’s really not a big deal.”
“To you, maybe, but I work in the cosmetics industry. You can’t run around with dirt on your face when you work in the cosmetics industry.”
She was so rattled, Jamal had to work hard to keep from laughing. “You’re the type who likes a challenge, right?”
“Of course.”
“I challenge you to go to dinner without washing your face. You can wash your hands because that’s good hygiene and whatever, but leave the smudge on your face alone.”
Her eyes went wide. “You’re kidding me. Why would I do that?”
“To prove to yourself that you can. To shake off some of those expectations and realize that the world won’t come to an end because of it. And maybe because it’s cute.”
“It’s cute? Dirt on my face is cute?”
He grinned. “It is to me.”
She held up both hands in surrender. “I tell you what. I’ll go wash my hands, and while I’m in there, I’ll look at the smudge and see if I can live with it. Is that doable?”
“Sounds fair.”
They entered the dining room, then went into the restrooms before asking for a table. Jamal kept snickering, wondering what Kerry was thinking. She sure was a complicated woman. Layer upon layer of issues and coping mechanisms, but when she laid all those aside, like in the moments when she was holding the kitten, she was a soft, tender woman, infinitely attractive. He wanted to know more about her, why she’d built up such a strong emotional wall and what could be done to help her feel more comfortable about letting it down. And it wasn’t just his therapist side speaking, either.
Chapter Six
Kerry turned her head from side to side and studied her face in the mirror. She did have a dirt streak on her jaw, but she wasn’t sure yet what she should do about it. She washed her hands up to her elbows as she thought about it. If she left it, it would mostly be to show Jamal that she could do it. That didn’t seem like a very good reason. If she washed it off, she’d feel a lot more comfortable.
But then again, if she washed it off, was she giving in to an unneeded impulse for perfectionism? Was her need to have everything just right so pervasive that she couldn’t handle something out of place even for a few minutes?
Oh, dear. She was a mess. No wonder her therapist had told her to take this vacation.
She left the bathroom with clean hands, a smudge on her jaw, and a grin on her face.
Jamal was waiting for her near the front of the restaurant. “You decided to keep it.”
“Yeah. I stood there and debated for almost a full minute, then realized how silly that was. I’m making a conscious choice to let it go.”
He smiled. “I’m glad. You wear it well.”
Something about that little compliment warmed her up inside, and it made her realize something. Being in the cosmetics industry, she spent a lot of time looking her best, but it had been quite a while since someone had paid her a compliment. And now that she was finally getting one, she had dirt on her face. She chuckled to herself, shaking her head.
“What’s so funny?” Jamal asked.
“Me, I think,” Kerry replied. She had a whole lot of thinking to do.
They were led to their table, and Kerry was impressed by the variety on the menu. “I don’t have any idea what to choose,” she said. “What do you recommend?”
“Everything here is good. You can’t go wrong.”
Kerry had just finished ordering her pasta when her phone rang. “I’m sorry, but I need to take this,” she said, glancing at the screen. It was her mother’s doctor—and she definitely wasn’t going to let it go to voice mail, especially if it was important enough to call after hours.
She slipped outside, noticing that Jamal stood when she did—aw, that was sweet—and answered. “Hi, Dr. Burdick. What’s going on?”
“Your mother has had a fall and broke her wrist,” Dr. Burdick replied. “She’s in the ER right now getting it set in a cast. They called me in because sh
e was a little bit disoriented. She’s fine now, but it did take a little bit to calm her.”
“Oh, no.” Kerry pressed a hand to her right temple. “I’ll catch the first flight I can get. I’m just—”
“No, actually,” Dr. Burdick interrupted her. “Once she calmed down, she was very emphatic that you remain on your vacation. Your friend Andie will be staying with her twenty-four hours a day until you get back—that’s how determined they are for you to enjoy your trip.”
“But how can I enjoy it if she’s in a cast?”
“She’s going to be in a cast whether you enjoy it or not,” he pointed out dryly. “You might as well make the most of it.”
She supposed that was true, but she still felt like the world’s most awful daughter. “I can’t ask Andie to do that, though.”
“You didn’t. She volunteered.”
“But . . .” Kerry paused. Andie was a kindergarten teacher, and school didn’t start again for a few weeks, so it’s not like she was making Andie take time off. That was one concern addressed. But twenty-four-hour care . . . that was so much for anyone to take on. “Can I ask you something, Dr. Burdick?”
“Of course.”
“This is my sign, isn’t it?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Remember how you told me that I’d know when it was time for my mother to stop living on her own? This is it, isn’t it? This injury?”
“Well, we can’t say that she wouldn’t have hurt herself if someone had been with her, but yes, I’d say this is a pretty good indicator that she could use more supervision.”
Doctors. Always having to hedge their bets instead of just saying “yes” and “no” flat-out.
“Okay. I’ll talk to her about it when I get back.” She paused again. “You’re sure I don’t need to come?”
“I’m positive. Andie and your mother both want you to stay, and frankly, Kerry, if you don’t start taking care of yourself, your health is going to decline, and then you won’t be any good to your mother at all.” Wow. Okay, now he was being more direct. “Take this time so you’re refreshed when you come home and decide how to care for your mother. That will be stressful even if it goes smoothly—enter it with a clear mind. Trust me. You’ll be glad you did.”
“Okay. But you’ll call me if there are any changes, right?”
“I will definitely call you.”
“Thanks.”
Kerry hung up, but didn’t return to the table right away. Instead, she took a few minutes to gaze at the sunset through the large glass window near where she stood. With Daylight Saving, even though it was later in the evening, the horizon was still washed with pinks and oranges and purples, and it was stunning. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to settle her anxiety. Her mother would be all right. Andie had everything under control. It was a broken wrist, not a broken hip or leg, so things could be a lot worse. Her job now was getting in some rest and relaxation so she could face the next step—moving her mother out of the home where she’d lived for thirty years.
She sent Andie a quick text, thanking her for everything she was doing and asking her to call when she could.
When Kerry finally returned to the table, Jamal had a worried expression on his face. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. Well, no, actually, I’m not. I’m hungry.” She looked down at the table. “The food’s not here yet?”
“I asked them to keep it hot until you came back.” Aww—that was sweet too. “But that’s not what’s bothering you. What’s the matter?”
Kerry waited until the servers brought over their plates. They must have been hovering, waiting for her return, because they had bread and butter and salad and everything imaginable on the table almost as soon as she’d asked about it. Once they were alone again, Kerry gave Jamal a shrug. “You’re right—I’m not fine. My mother fell and broke her wrist. She’s doing fine—they’re putting a cast on it, and Andie’s going to stay with her—but still, I feel like I should go home.”
“Does your mother want you to come back?”
“No, and that’s what her doctor and I were just talking about. She and Andie both want me to stay, the doctor wants me to stay . . . I’m just not sure they’re right.”
“I get it. My mother lives a few hours away, and there’s that constant pull of duty and trying to figure out what’s best. Why don’t you eat—you’ve got to be starving—and that’ll help you balance out your thoughts. That’s not coming from my therapy background—that’s coming from the fact that I’m starving too.”
Kerry chuckled, his humor lightening her burden just a bit. “I’m sorry. You’ve been waiting for me.”
“I was, but now I’m not.” He picked up a roll and slathered it with butter.
The meal was delicious, and as Kerry ate, she felt her thoughts become less chaotic. “I think what I’ll do is take it a day at a time,” she said after she swallowed her last bite. “I don’t have to decide right now. If she changes her mind, I can be home in just a couple of hours.”
“Good thinking. And in the meantime, I’d like to introduce you to your new best friend.” Jamal nodded at the next table over. “That’s Wade Weston, one of the owners of the ranch, and that’s his wife, Maddie. She runs the spa and massage parlor. I highly recommend you make an appointment—she has hands of gold.”
“Hands of gold, huh? I could use some hands of gold.” Kerry looked over at the Westons. They seemed like nice people. They also seemed to have some very nice chocolate cake on their table. “I could use some of that chocolate cake, too.”
Jamal laughed and signaled the waiter. “You won’t be sorry.”
She ate every crumb, didn’t regret one calorie of it, and then Jamal walked her back to the bunkhouse. It wasn’t far, and she wished they could stretch out the evening a bit longer, but she was exhausted, and she was also hoping to talk to Andie before she went to bed. Jamal took her as far as the elevator in the bunkhouse, where they both hovered, neither of them moving to leave.
“Thanks for spending the day with me, Kerry,” Jamal said, reaching out to take her hand. “It was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time.”
“Really? I thought we got off to a pretty awkward start.” She loved the way his fingers felt wrapped around hers. They were strong, but gentle.
“Well, we did, but I think we made up for it, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” She looked in his eyes, then down at the carpet, wondering what to say next and how not to feel so gangly and tongue-tied. They’d kept the conversation flowing really well during the afternoon and evening, but now, in a somewhat private hallway, they were basically alone, and she couldn’t help but notice how tall he was, and how broad his shoulders were, and the whole thing was really distracting and she couldn’t think.
He lifted her chin with the tip of his finger and looked in her eyes. “Can I see you again tomorrow?”
“Sure,” she managed to say.
“I have staff meeting first thing, but I’d love to take you for an early lunch. Eleven at the diner?”
“I’ll meet you there.”
“Sounds great.” He leaned forward, and for a split second, she thought he was going to kiss her. Her heart lurched and started pounding double time. He did kiss her, but it was a feather-light brush on the cheek, and she was disappointed. She was half tempted to grab him by the collar and plant one on him herself, but then she came to her senses and realized that at this stage of their relationship, when they’d really only been communicating well for half a day, that would likely be a bit overboard. So instead of grabbing him, she smiled, then hit the button for the elevator.
He stood and waited until the doors closed, and she was alone in the elevator car. Something was definitely starting to brew there. It couldn’t last, though—they were both so firmly entrenched in their worlds, it didn’t seem that either of them would be able to compromise. No, this would be a fun vacation flirtation—nothing more. And then she
snickered at her rhyme. Yeah. She was definitely getting a little silly over this guy.
Chapter Seven
Kerry looked beautiful the next morning, although Jamal did miss the smudge on her cheek. She’d worn her hair down again, and it shone against her hot pink shirt like obsidian. He had to keep pulling his attention back to what she was saying—she was so mesmerizing, he was getting distracted.
“And so my mom and Andie have made a list of all the movies they want to watch and all the snacks they want to eat over the next several days, and she’s going to teach Andie how to make enchiladas. One-handed, of course. They say they’re set to go.” Kerry took a sip of her ice water. “I guess that means I’m sticking around for a while.”
“I’m glad about that. I’m glad your mom’s doing well too. And Andie’s awesome—she’ll do a good job.”
“Yes, she will. Probably even better than I would if I were home—I don’t know if I could sit and watch movies all day. I’d get a little edgy.” She paused. “I have another decision to make, though.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“I think it’s time for Mom to come live with me. But then, sometime in the middle of the night, I thought, what if I went and lived with her? That would be a lot simpler, wouldn’t it? I mean, if we sold her house, we’d have to clean out decades of keepsakes and memorabilia, and then get it ready for showings, and it seems so overwhelming. If I moved in with her, I’d just need to get out of my lease and figure out what to do with my stuff, and I don’t have decades’ worth.”
“And so that thought kept you up for a while.”
“It did. But I hid my dark circles with this fantastic new product. It’s called morning dew, and it’s a concealer that works with your foundation to hide your imperfections so all they’ll see is bright, glowing skin.” She flashed him a smile. “I wrote that. About a month ago.”
He grinned. “I’m sold. Sign me up for a box. Or tube. Or whatever it is.”
She laughed. “It comes in a tube, and I’ll have one shipped right out.”
Pet Peeves Page 5