“Seriously, though, you look great. I was just thinking that.” Jamal reached out, and she placed her hand in his. As he ran his thumb over her knuckles, he couldn’t help but notice how well their fingers meshed together, like they were created to be two parts of the same whole.
He didn’t realize how long they’d sat there staring at each other until Lindy popped up at his elbow. “Are you finished, or can I get you something else?”
Jamal let go of Kerry’s hand like he’d been caught doing something wrong. “I’m almost done—just need to finish my burger.”
“Me too,” Kerry added. “I don’t need a refill or anything.” She seemed a little embarrassed too.
“Okay. I’ll have your check for you up front when you’re ready.” Lindy retreated, looking like she’d realized she’d interrupted something. She had, but Jamal wasn’t completely sure just what she’d interrupted. Had they been having a moment, or had he just taken Kerry’s hand hostage and was holding it against her will?
They finished up quietly, Jamal paid, and then they walked across the parking lot to the barn.
“How’s Mama this morning?” Kerry asked.
“She’s doing great. She has a lot more energy, and she’s starting to interact with the babies again. When I checked on her this morning, she still wasn’t feeding them, but she was giving one of them a bath.”
“Oh, that’s good.”
Even though it had only been a couple of hours since he’d seen them, he took Kerry to check on the cats first thing because he knew that’s what she was most interested in. She sat down on the clean straw near their bed and began to play with them, stroking their paws with her finger and pulling back when they tried to pounce. They had gained a lot of energy as well, and once again, Jamal was thankful for Jess’s quick thinking in bringing over the surrogate mother.
“Oh!” Kerry gasped and looked up at the ceiling. Jamal looked up too, wondering what had her so worried. Was there a bat up there or something? He couldn’t see anything right off, but then again, it was pretty dim up there in the barn rafters.
“Um, could you . . .?” She lifted a hand like she was trying to get his attention.
“Oh! Sure!” He laughed as he bent down and untangled a kitten from her braids. The claws were threaded through pretty intricately, and it took him a second. “I thought you’d seen something scary on the ceiling.”
“No, my head was jerked backwards by a cat.” She took the offending creature from Jamal’s hand. “You like my hair, do you? You’re a monster, you know that?” She nuzzled his head.
“You should get a kitten when you get home,” Jamal suggested. “I’d give you one of these, but they won’t be weaned for a little while yet, and taking it on the airplane would be hard.”
“Yeah, that would be hard.” She sounded a little wistful. “I’ll think about it, though. Maybe there’s a good shelter near my house. Or my mom’s house . . . wherever I end up living. I’m so confused—I don’t know what to do. Is it easier to go through her stuff while she’s still alive and can tell me what’s significant and what’s just junk? Or to do it myself later when she’s gone?”
“You could live in the house and go through it a little at a time,” Jamal said. “Then you wouldn’t have the time crunch of trying to get it ready to sell.”
She looked at him, blinking. “I think you’re brilliant. I’ve been so stressed, that didn’t even occur to me.”
“Well, what can I say?” He buffed his nails on his shirt. “When you’ve got it, you’ve got it.”
Just then, Pastor Kevin came running into the barn, slightly out of breath. “Jamal, a guest told me they just saw a baby goat starting up the hiking trail.”
“What? No! I just checked on him this morning!” Jamal trotted out of the barn and over to the pen. Sure enough, the door was open, and the latch was sticking straight up. No goat in sight. “How on earth?”
“How can I help?” Kevin asked, coming up behind him.
“Can you hang up the ‘closed for the day’ sign on the zoo gate? We’re supposed to open in a few minutes, but I’ve got to find Billy.”
“Sure. On it now.”
Jamal fingered the lock, trying to figure out what had gone wrong. He didn’t have time to dwell on it, though—he needed to hunt down that tricky little animal.
“And how can I help?”
Jamal was ashamed to admit that he’d all but forgotten about Kerry. “Come with me,” he said.
She didn’t ask any questions, but followed his lead as he grabbed a backpack from the barn and ran over to the shed where the four-wheelers were stored. He climbed on, she clambered up behind him, and they were off, bouncing over the ground. All he could think about was something happening to Billy. This was wild country, even though it was privately owned, and predators could wander around here just like they could anywhere else. Billy would be a tasty mouthful for a bear or a cougar.
When they reached the bottom of the hiking trail, Jamal brought the four-wheeler to a stop and slid off, putting on the backpack. Then he looked around in the soft mud at the base of the trail. Sure enough, there were some little hoof prints leading right up the mountain.
“Why would he come all the way out here?” Kerry asked.
“I have no idea.” Jamal scratched the back of his neck. “All his food is back at the ranch, and he’s not stupid. I can’t figure out why he’d take off and leave free food behind.” He looked over at Kerry. “Let’s follow his tracks. Hopefully he didn’t get too far.”
“So, would you say that we’re going to get your goat?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“I’m sorry—that was terrible.” She held up both hands. “Plus, you’re probably worried, and I shouldn’t tease you about it.”
“No, don’t feel bad. I’m just surprised that you’re cracking jokes. Yesterday, it took you hours just to crack a real smile.”
“I think I’m loosening up a little. And I haven’t even had my massage yet.”
“Well, I’m glad. I’m not saying your pun was good because it was actually pretty rotten, but I’m glad that you’re feeling more relaxed.” He held out a hand. “Shall we go?”
She threaded her fingers through his. “Yes. Let’s.”
They used the little hoof prints as their guide, winding up the trail and being amused at how the baby had scampered from side to side. “I’m sure he’s gotten tired by now,” Jamal said. “It’s just a matter of catching up to him.”
“So, you said your family lives a few hours away,” Kerry said. “Tell me about your family.”
“Well, I’m the younger of two sons. My brother, Kelvin, lives in Portland with his wife and three daughters. They’re coming for Thanksgiving, so we’re pretty excited about that.” Jamal noticed that one of the trail markers needed a new coat of paint—he’d let Wes know. Fading paint wasn’t allowed on River’s End Ranch. “My mom lives in Twin Falls. That’s where she decided to retire. I was born and raised in Spokane.”
“Oh, that’s right. Andie told me that’s where she went to high school.” Kerry paused to fix her shoelace. “Do you make this climb often?”
“A couple of times a year. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. Just a little winded.” She straightened and put her hands on her hips, then leaned back a little. “I would have stretched out this morning if I’d known we were going to be exercising.”
Jamal laughed. “I’m sorry. We can go a little slower—I really think Billy’s got to be wearing out by now.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want him to get into any trouble.”
“Well, let me tell you a story about the kind of trouble Billy can get into.” Now that it didn’t sound like a lame excuse for being late, Jamal told Kerry about their river adventure as they continued up the trail. As he finished, he said, “But there aren’t any rivers on this mountain, so I’m sure he’s fine.”
Kerry blinked. “You walked out on a loose log over a r
iver to save Billy’s life?”
“I didn’t know it was loose when I walked on it.”
She lightly slugged his shoulder. “You still put yourself in danger for him! And now you’re doing it again. Why?”
Jamal had to think about that for a second. “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve never tried to explain it. It’s just natural. He’s a living creature, and his life’s important.”
“You know what you are? You’re downright biblical.”
“I’m what?” Jamal laughed. “What do you mean?”
“You’re going out of your way to save one lost lamb. Or goat, as the case may be. The type of animal doesn’t matter right now.”
“I didn’t think of it that way. I was just doing what needed to be done.”
“Because every life is important,” Kerry said, driving home something he’d said a moment before.
“Yes. Every life is important.”
She startled him by pulling on his arm to make him stop walking. Then she grabbed his collar and pulled him close for a kiss. He was taken aback at first, but it didn’t take long for his arms to find their way around her waist and pull her even closer. She nestled into his chest as though they were made for each other, just like their hands did.
“Wow,” Jamal said when he finally let her go. “I don’t know what brought that on, but thank you for the nice surprise.”
“I wanted to do that last night, but I behaved myself,” Kerry replied. “And now, you and lambs and goats . . . I couldn’t help it.”
“Lambs and goats make you want to kiss me? That’s pretty awesome, considering that there are quite a few of those around here.” He grinned, quirking an eyebrow.
“I mean, the way you value life. The way you put Billy’s safety above your own. That’s not always the best idea, but the fact that your heart works that way . . . well, it’s attractive.” She seemed a little flustered, but she forged on. “It’s very, very attractive. And so are you. And I think we should kiss again.”
“Okay.” Jamal brought her into his arms gently, much more gently than she’d pounced on him, and concentrated on every moment—the smell of her hair, the softness of her lips, and the way his heart pounded. He didn’t remember kissing being like this. It had always been fun, but this felt like more than fun. This felt like . . . like a promise.
But she had her life in California, with a mother who needed constant care. And he couldn’t imagine himself moving to a bigger city. Sure, it had been a few years, and maybe he’d moved past some of his anxiety, but . . . no. Just the thought was making him a little queasy. He couldn’t get attached. He just couldn’t.
He ended the kiss and stepped back. “Are you hungry? I have some granola bars in my backpack.”
She seemed confused at his change of attitude, but instead of asking about it, she replied, “You just happened to have a backpack ready to go?”
“Yep. A lot of the employees do, depending on their jobs. You just never know what’s going to come up out here, and today, it’s a spontaneous hike to find a lost goat. Come on—there’s a bench around the next curve, and we can sit for a few minutes.”
She nodded and walked alongside him, a hurt look on her face, but Jamal didn’t know what to say. How could he explain that in the space of five seconds, he’d gone from realizing he’d found the woman of his dreams to realizing he’d have to give her up?
***
Kerry sat down on the bench and took the granola bar and the bottle of water Jamal offered her. She was glad for the chance to sit down—she hadn’t gone hiking in years, and even though this trail was gentle compared to most, she was really feeling it in her hips. She wasn’t glad, though, for what had just happened. Jamal had pulled away like he’d been burned, and she couldn’t imagine why. She didn’t think she was that bad of a kisser. It was more like he’d suddenly remembered that he had a wife and four children waiting for him at home.
“Thanks for the snack,” she said, standing up and putting the granola bar wrapper in her pocket. “Let’s keep going.” It had felt good to sit, but now she wanted to keep moving. That might help the atmosphere feel less heavy.
“Okay. Did you get enough rest?”
“Yep. I’m great.”
“All right. Let’s go. There are restrooms up ahead, if you need one.”
They started walking. “Restrooms? Don’t you mean, Port-a-Potties?”
Jamal laughed. “No, there are actual restrooms. We hike in style around here.”
Sure enough, there was a brick outbuilding with real toilets. Everything was surprisingly clean. When she said as much to Jamal, he replied, “We’re on private land, and the Westons like everything to be just right.”
“I’m glad of that. Public restrooms are one of my pet peeves.”
“I thought you weren’t going to have any more pet peeves,” he said teasingly.
“Well, maybe you were wrong.” She didn’t mean to sound snappish, but she certainly did. She felt entitled, though. She’d taken a huge risk kissing Jamal the way she had, and she thought he’d liked it just as much as she did, but she’d been wrong. She felt embarrassed and humiliated, and if she could find some way to go back in time and erase everything, she would.
Or would she? Because it had been a really amazing kiss, and she could pull out the memory and savor it in years to come.
But kiss number two had ended horribly, and she didn’t want to remember that. And she didn’t know if it was possible to remember the first kiss without remembering the second, so yes, she wanted a time machine.
But she didn’t know where to find one.
A few minutes later, she heard Jamal exclaim, “There you are!”
She looked where he was pointing and saw Billy up ahead, curled up on a sunny patch of grass. “Is he all right?”
“It looks like it.” Jamal reached into his other pocket and pulled out a piece of chocolate. “He loves this stuff,” he said, holding it out in front of him. “We’ve got to keep him from darting away.”
Billy looked up when they approached, but his nostrils twitched, and Kerry guessed that he could smell the chocolate. Jamal crept up slowly, gave the goat his treat, and then scooped him up. “Got you.”
“How are we going to get him down? Carry him?”
“Yep,” Jamal replied. “He’s not very heavy.”
As they walked back down the trail, it was easy to make small talk that was centered around Billy—wondering why he’d taken off, expressing gratitude that he was all right. The questions that were really on Kerry’s mind, though, weren’t asked, and she didn’t know if they’d ever be asked. Just as quickly as their relationship had blossomed, it had wilted, and she doubted it had been real at all.
Chapter Eight
Jamal asked Kerry if she’d rather hold the goat or drive the four-wheeler, since he wouldn’t be able to do both. Things had been really strained between them since he’d ended their kiss, but they were still working well together as a team on Billy’s behalf, and she agreed to drive the four-wheeler. It was a little difficult to hang on to Billy, who didn’t like riding a four-wheeler and wanted down, and maintain his balance at the same time, but Jamal managed it, and they arrived back at the ranch safely.
They carried Billy over to the pen and put him inside, and Jamal asked Kerry to guard the fence for a minute. He went digging through his supply boxes and came up with a padlock.
“If this goat figures out how to undo this, I’ll just have to concede defeat,” he said as he threaded it through the latch. He’d already checked to make sure there were no holes in the fence—this was definitely how Billy got out, and he was running out of ideas.
He tugged on the lock to make sure it was secure, and then he turned to walk Kerry back to her room. “Listen, Kerry,” he said, trying to figure out the best way to have this conversation. “About before.”
Just then, her phone rang, and she glanced at it. “I’m sorry, but this is about my mom. I need to take it, okay?�
�
“Okay,” he said, although he didn’t want to. It wasn’t okay. He wanted the chance to clear the air. He wanted to put things right, if he even knew what right was. He shouldn’t have gotten so involved so quickly—but he wanted to.
Kerry turned back to him. “I have to go,” she said, distress on her face. “My mom has been really upset today, she’s refusing to eat, and she wouldn’t talk to me on the phone, even though Andie held it to her ear. She thinks I’m dead because she hasn’t seen me in a couple of days, and Andie can’t calm her down. She’s going to give the doctor a call and see about a sedative or something, and I need to go.”
“Of course,” Jamal said. “Of course you need to.”
“Will the shuttle driver take me, or should I call a cab? Do cabs come out here?”
“I could take you.”
She shook her head. “No. I think . . . I think it’s better if you don’t.”
Jamal felt like he’d been punched. “But I don’t want to leave things like this. Let me explain.”
She held up a hand. “I can’t do this, Jamal. My mother thinks I’m dead. I need to go home, and I can’t deal with you and her and everything else all at the same time. Just let me go, please.”
He wanted to argue with her, to insist that she hear him out, but he knew she wasn’t in any condition to listen, not when she was so upset about her mom. That was her priority right now, and he needed to respect that. “I’ll text the shuttle driver and ask him to come. I’ve got all the ranch numbers in my phone.”
“Thank you. If he’s able to be here in about twenty minutes, that’ll be great—give me time to pack and call for a plane ticket.”
“There might not be any flights out tonight. You might have to wait until morning.” Maybe he could convince her to stay a few hours if that was the case.
“I need to be at the airport regardless—I need to feel like I’m on my way.” She paused. “Thank you for the nice weekend, Jamal. I’ll never forget it.”
She turned on her heel and walked briskly toward the bunkhouse. He’d been walking her back, but he got the message that she wanted to be alone now. He’d blown it. He’d blown it big time. He should have explained his thoughts and feelings while they were still up on the mountain. She’d still be leaving now—he knew there wasn’t a way to change that—but they’d be parting on better terms than this.
Pet Peeves Page 6