Remember Me: A Calendar of Love Novel #4

by Parker, Lexy

  “I warned you.”

  “Yes, you did, but you also know your brother lost his job. Don’t you think you should try to be a shoulder for him to lean on?” she asked.

  “Nope,” I said, taking a drink from the bottle of beer.

  “You’re being unreasonable.”

  “Look, you don’t really know Emmitt. You saw him for five minutes. My mom was acting very different tonight than she normally does. Usually, family dinners are a lot livelier, more insults being thrown about and usually in my direction. What you saw tonight was nothing. I’m not going to go out of my way to help Emmitt,” I said firmly.

  “You don’t think you’re being just a little harsh?” she snapped.

  “No, I don’t. You don’t know Emmitt,” I told her.

  She looked angry. “No, I don’t, but I feel like I know you pretty well. I don’t want to be with a man that can’t put aside his own hurt and anger long enough to try and help out his brother. What if I do something that really pisses you off in the future? Are you going to give me the cold shoulder and let me flounder? Are you going to turn your back on me? What if it was Philip?” she asked.

  I leaned forward. “Those are all ridiculous questions that really are not even close to the same thing happening with Emmitt. I would never turn my back on anyone that truly needed me—not even Emmitt.”

  “Then why aren’t you trying to help him?”

  “Dani, we’ve got something good going here, but I don’t think you fully understand the situation. I’m not interested in rehashing the last thirty-three years of my life and giving you an itemized list of reasons why I think Emmitt is a dick. It’s all in the past and that’s where it needs to stay. I’m basing my actions not to offer help, that he won’t take I might add, solely on the way he has been the past couple of weeks. He doesn’t want my help. I’m not offering,” I said again.

  She sat quietly for a few minutes. Both of us were angry. I could feel it in the room, much like the mirages you would see on an empty blacktop on a hot day. It was wafting off us. I had a feeling that redhead temper thing was real, and I was about to see it first-hand if the conversation continued down a dead-end road.

  “Clay, I’m not suggesting you give the guy your hard-earned money. I’m only suggesting you try and talk with him, heal whatever it is that’s broken between you. Do you know how difficult it must be for your mother to see the two of you act like you hate one another?” she asked.

  “I’m sure it is difficult, but that’s on him,” I retorted.

  “What if you and I were to get together and get married and have ONE kid one day. How do you think Christmas or Easter, or any other family holiday would go? You and your brother would be glaring at each other, ruining the entire day. I don’t like that.”

  I shook my head, rubbing my hand over my face. “You’re assuming Emmitt would grace us with his presence.”

  “Yes, I am, because I know your mom wants those family get togethers. I want them. I want a family and I want lots of laughter and fond memories,” she said, her voice pleading.

  “We are not the only dysfunctional family in the world. Plenty of other people get married and have good times and make new memories and traditions without dwelling on the one family member that ruins it for everyone. I think you are getting way ahead of yourself anyway,” I muttered.

  She was moving fast. Hell, I was thinking about next week and maybe taking her out for dinner and she already had us married with children. I wouldn’t mind, but I felt like there was still a lot between us, including her late husband, that needed to be resolved before we had to worry about Emmitt.

  She narrowed her gaze at me. “I’m not getting ahead of myself. I’m simply trying to determine if you’re worth my time.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Really? Is that what you’re doing? To me, it seems like you’re trying to find the perfect family to marry into. You want to make sure everything is neat and tidy and there won’t be any drama. I don’t think you’re going to find that. Life is messy and families are dramatic.”

  I hit a nerve. I saw it the moment the words crossed my lips. “Trust me, I know how messy life is,” she said tightly. “I am not trying to find the perfect family. I’m trying to find a man who knows the value of family. I’m looking for a man I can spend the rest of my life with and not worry about him walking away when the going gets tough.”

  “You should have told me from the get-go you were interviewing for husbands,” I snapped. “I could have told you I had a fucked-up family. Then you wouldn’t have had to waste your precious time on a guy like me that isn’t going to bring you all the joy and happiness you’re after. I won’t be the husband taking you to Christmas dinner at the family house with everyone singing Christmas carols and hugging each other. Sorry, I don’t measure up to your high standards.”

  Her mouth fell open, her green eyes shooting daggers. “I’m not interviewing for husbands.”

  “You sure about that? We’ve had sex twice, ate dinner together a couple of times and you’re already naming our children and deciding what to wear to Christmas dinner,” I said sarcastically.

  “That’s not what I was doing! I was trying to show you the error of your ways. Clearly, you are too bullheaded to see that!” she said, her voice rising.

  “Let it go. Don’t ruin this because you’re on some crusade for Emmitt. He’s not worth your time. He’ll be back in New York, making millions and will be someone else’s problem before the month is out. You don’t know him. Trust me, I do. I know how he is, and I know he’s already on the hunt for the next big thing. He would laugh in my face if I tried to offer any help.”

  “Oh, is that the problem? You’re afraid of your big brother laughing at you? Maybe you should let go of some of your own pride,” she said, glowering at me.

  We both stared at one another in what could only be described as a heated standoff. I knew I owed her an apology. I felt like a dick, but pride kept my mouth glued shut. I did have some pride. I could be humble and felt like I had a healthy dose of humility, but I had been walked all over by Emmitt and at my age, I was done with being used as a punching bag for his insults.

  “Dani, look, I get what you’re trying to do, and I admire your good intentions, but they are misplaced. My brother has never done anything for me and I have no intention of going out of my way to help him. I don’t hate him, don’t think that, it’s just that I’ve learned we’re better brothers when we don’t talk. We don’t get along and there is nothing you can say or do that’s going to change that. I’m sorry if that’s a deal breaker for you, but that’s the way it is,” I told her, hoping she would relax her stance and back off.

  She put the bottle of beer on the coffee table and wiped her hands on her pants. “I think I should go. There’s really nothing more for us to say,” she said quietly.

  I smirked, irritated that she thought she was going to fix me. Sex with her was good and I really liked her, but I wasn’t a man to be led around by his balls. “I think that’s probably a good idea,” I agreed.

  I watched her, seeing the look on her face. It wasn’t what she had expected to hear. That was too bad. I was not going to argue. I didn’t argue. That wasn’t my thing. Maybe it was why I was still single.

  I got up, waited for her to get to her feet and followed behind her to the door. She opened it, taking a last look over her shoulder as if she was waiting for me to stop her. “Goodbye,” she said and walked out.

  I watched her get in her car and leave. Once she was on her way, I closed and locked the door. That was not how I expected things to end between us. I expected them to end, but not because I wouldn’t kiss and make up with my brother. The woman had a lot of nerve if she thought she was going to walk into my life and start telling me how to live.

  She didn’t know the situation. She’d met the guy once and no matter what she said, I could tell she didn’t like him. He’d been a dick to her, just as I’d expected he would. For her to hold me acco
untable for being the instigator in our situation was bullshit. She didn’t understand and I wasn’t going to explain it.

  “Easy come, easy go,” I muttered, turning off the lights and heading to my bedroom.

  I’d known she was out of my league when we first met, but she had given me the idea we had a chance. I knew Philip and Jamie would be disappointed I couldn’t make it work. Sadie would probably lecture me about how to be a good boyfriend. I’d take it. I would take it all and not explain why it didn’t work. They could be mad at me.

  Chapter 30

  Dani

  I wasn’t feeling like myself. I had woken with my alarm clock, the sound that usually got my ass out of bed and to the gym. Not today. I didn’t feel like working out. I felt like crawling under the covers and pushing everyone away. Technically, I had already done that. The conversation with Clay had not gone the way I had planned. I had envisioned us talking about the situation with Emmitt and coming to an agreement and then talking about our future. I had thought we’d have a drink, have sex and I would stay the night.

  Holy hell had I been wrong. I guess I was the arrogant one. I had assumed he would realize he was wrong and then we would carry on with our happy lives. Newsflash, I wasn’t quite that powerful. I hated the way things had ended. We had said we didn’t want our situation to affect our relationships with Philip and Jamie, but it was too late. We would have to avoid being at the same place at the same time. Things were going to be awkward. Sadie would ask questions and it was just one big mess.

  By the time I got to work, I was in a worse mood than I had been when I opened my eyes. I was hoping I could see a few puppies. I needed some puppy snuggles to brighten my mood.

  I wiped down the exam table, preparing for the next patient when Dr. Mike came in. I offered him a small smile. “Good morning.”

  He looked at me and frowned. “That doesn’t sound very genuine. Why do I get the idea it isn’t a very good morning?”

  “Sorry,” I mumbled. “It isn’t, but I’m trying to make it better.”

  “What’s going on? You don’t seem like your chipper self. Is there something you need to talk about?” he asked, moving around the table to look me in the eyes.

  “Nothing. It’s fine. I’m fine. Sorry, I’ve just been in a bad mood for a couple of days,” I told him.

  He smiled. “I’m sensing boy trouble. What’s going on? You can talk to me.”

  I laughed softly. “I haven’t had boy trouble in about twenty years.”

  He waved a hand. “They’re still boys to me. When you’re my age, anyone under the age of forty is a boy or a girl,” he said with a wink.

  “I don’t think you’re quite that old.”

  “So, how are things going with Clay?” he asked, not dropping the subject like I had hoped.

  I groaned, shaking my head. I trusted him. He was like a father and I felt I could tell him anything, but I was a little embarrassed to admit the problem. There was also the fact he’d been my sounding board for the many problems Gage and I had waded through during our short marriage. Dr. Mike had been with only his wife for longer than I had been alive. I wasn’t sure he could understand what it was like to be in another serious relationship.

  “It isn’t going. I think I ended it,” I confessed.

  “What? I thought the two of you were going to be great together. You’ve been walking on air the past week or so. Clay made you happy,” he said softly.

  “I was happy, briefly—very briefly. It wasn’t meant to last. I should have known better. It wasn’t the right time,” I said with a sigh.

  “The right time doesn’t wait for the right time. Your heart knows when it’s the right time and I think you have to trust your heart in these matters. When you find the kind of happiness you experienced last week, you can’t let that go. You have to reach out and hold on with both hands,” he said, clenching his fists in the air.

  I sighed. “He has a brother,” I blurted out.

  He nodded his head. “Yes, he does. I used to be his Little League coach. I watched him play ball all through high school. Both the Pierce boys were excellent athletes.”

  “Clay and his brother are at odds and I don’t mean like casual fighting. I’m talking Clay is convinced he hates his brother. It’s weird. I don’t like seeing him like that. I don’t like the idea the kind, generous man I know has a dark side, even if it isn’t really his dark side, but his brother’s, he’s allowing it to taint him.”

  “Oh, I remember those two never really got along and it was no secret why. Emmitt, he was always kind of an obnoxious kid. His teammates hated him, and I can’t say I cared for him much at all. He was quite the asshole,” he said bluntly, shocking me with his word choice.

  “What?”

  Dr. Mike shook his head. “That Emmitt was a pain in the ass. Never took direction. He was convinced he was the best player on the team and he was good, but his attitude was horrible. He was not a team player. He was cruel to the others and that was when he was a kid. I can only imagine it got worse the older he got. I can’t imagine what he’s like as an adult.”

  “Really?” I said, shocked to hear Dr. Mike speak so poorly of another.

  “Really. And I don’t blame Clay one bit. I have a brother that is a lot like Emmitt. He’s my younger brother, spoiled brat.”

  I had never heard of his brother either. I was beginning to wonder if I had dodged a bullet by being an only child. “What would you have done if your wife would have told you she couldn’t be with you if you weren’t friends with your brother?” I asked, having a feeling I already knew the answer.

  He grinned. “I’d ask who her divorce lawyer was.”

  My mouth dropped open. “What? No, you wouldn’t!”

  He nodded his head. “Yes, I would. She married me, not my brother, not my family. I know they say you marry the family, but that’s not true. If the marriage is strong enough, it can withstand a difficult family situation.”

  “I guess you’re right, but doesn’t it speak to the character of the person if he can’t be decent to his own brother?”

  “No. It doesn’t. Clay is a good kid. I don’t think he can be held responsible for his brother, which is exactly what it sounds like you’re doing. His brother is a bad egg. He’s never been kind. In fact, I heard he’s been in some trouble up there in New York,” he said in a low voice.

  “What? What kind of trouble?” I asked him.

  “I don’t know. I know it was enough to get him to run back home and hide,” he said.

  I wondered if he knew about the company going under. I didn’t see how that could be held against Emmitt unless there was more to the story. It would explain why Emmitt was back in Hope. Clay said he hated the town.

  Kasey came into the room, looking from me to Dr. Mike. “Uh-oh, what’s going on?”

  I smiled. “Nothing. I was just telling Dr. Mike about how I blew up my relationship with Clay because I couldn’t accept the fact he doesn’t get along with his brother.”

  “Oh no. Really? I thought things were going well between the two of you.”

  “They were until I sabotaged it,” I mumbled.

  “And I was trying to tell her that some of us have been blessed with family members we would really rather not have,” Dr. Mike said with a laugh.

  Kasey giggled. “Raise your hand if you have a family member you’d like to forget you shared blood with,” she said, raising her hand.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Maybe that’s why I can’t relate. I have zero family. I don’t have grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles and definitely no siblings. I guess I just assumed families had to stick together, families had to love each other. I hate the idea of Clay having a brother out there that he can’t be close to. I want him to have a family he can count on.”

  “Sometimes we have to make our own families,” Kasey said.

  Dr. Mike nodded his head. “Exactly.”

  “I have a sister that none of us talk to. It isn’t bec
ause we don’t want to, it’s because she’s not normal. She is into a bad scene and roams the country doing her thing. When she does show up, it’s to ask for money or to raise hell. I love her and I think I would be sad to find out she died, but I certainly don’t want a relationship with her. Toxic family members are real. I think it’s better to eliminate all toxicity from your life and if it happens to be a family member, then so be it,” she said nonchalantly.

  “I wish you guys would have talked to me before I went and messed everything up,” I said with disgust.

  Kasey giggled. “The next time you decide to make a wild move, run it by one of us. We’ll help you out,” she teased.

  “I’ll keep that in mind. Do you think it’s too late?” I asked them both.

  “For what?” Dr. Mike asked.

  “To tell him I was an idiot and I won’t butt my big nose into his business?”

  They both laughed. “Trust me, no man would ever think it was too late to hear those words. You try. If he rejects you, you don’t need him,” Dr. Mike said firmly.

  “Thank you. I really appreciate you both being here for me. This relationship business is not for the faint of heart,” I said.

  “No, it certainly isn’t, but if you’re willing to say you’re sorry and admit when you were wrong, you are going to do fine. That takes a mighty big person and I think it will set you up for success,” he told me.

  I nodded my head. “I hope so.”

  The rest of the day was kind of a blur. I needed to think long and hard about what I would say to Clay. I also needed to be sure of what I really wanted. I did like him, I cared about him and felt like I could love him. In a way, I did love him. There was something about him that drew me in and made me feel so good to be in his company.

  Gage was gone. I couldn’t compare Clay to Gage. Clay was his own man and wasn’t going to have a close relationship with his brother like Gage had with his sister. I wasn’t going to inherit a new family. Deep down, I knew that’s what I was looking for. I wanted to fill all the empty spaces in my heart with family. It wasn’t going to be quite so simple. I was going to have to work at it.