Let's Make a Deal (Bob and Nikki Book 11)

by Jerry Boyd

  “Natti would, but he doesn’t have the authority to override the block. It all depends on how good an impression we made on the Emperor.”

  Before long, my comm rang. “Commodore Wilson.”

  The Emperor’s voice said, “Commodore, I’m told you have a problem I could help with?”

  “We believe so, Majesty. My Chief Engineer is afflicted with a programming block from your Intelligence services. My hackers can’t remove it without doing damage to her personality. We were hoping you could give the uninstall code, so that she could resume her duties.”

  “Is she the only bot so afflicted?”

  “I don’t know, Majesty. What do you suggest?”

  “If you set up a broadcast, I could deliver the code to your entire fleet at once.”

  “That sounds like the way to do it. Can you possibly wait momentarily, while I have that arranged?””

  “Of course.” I muted my comm, and turned to Nikki. “Will you be able to tell if he has actually uninstalled the software, or just temporarily turned it off?”

  “Yes.”

  “Gene, get me Topper.”

  “Yes, Boss?”

  “I need you to patch my comm into every bot in the fleet. The Emperor has a message you all need to hear.”

  “Yes, Boss.”

  Nikki said, “You’re all in, Caveman. Are you sure?”

  “Nope. Sooner or later, we’re going to have to trust the Emperor. Might as well get it over with.” I unmuted my comm. “Go ahead, your Highness.” He rattled off a string of numbers and letters I couldn’t keep up with. Nikki and Lakki were watching the readout on the display plugged into Scotti. Nikki looked at me and nodded. I said, “Thank you, Majesty. What can we do to repay you?”

  “That won’t be necessary, Commodore. After all your help finding the officers loyal to the cartel, I’d say I might still be in your debt.”

  “It’s a lot better to be friends with you and your Empire, than to wonder when the next fleet will be coming in.”

  “I think we will have a long and profitable friendship, Commodore. Call if you need anything else.”

  “You do the same, Majesty. Thanks again.” The call ended, and I put away my comm. I turned to Scotti. “How are you feeling?”

  “Better, Boss.”

  “Do you still have the urge to rip out Mrs. Wilson’s patch?”

  “No, Boss. Not at all.”

  “Unit Scotti, cancel command lock. Resume normal function.”

  “Thanks, Boss. I need to get to work. The problem with the bots wasn’t the only thing that block was keeping me from seeing.”

  “Good to have you back, Scotti. I’ll get out of the way, and let you get to it.” I turned to Tikki. “If you notice anything off, let me know. I think the Emperor is playing straight with us, but we need to be careful, just in case.”

  “Understood, Boss. Sorry I didn’t say something sooner.”

  “She’s your Boss. You respect her. Coming right out and saying she’s messing up takes a lot of provocation. I understand that.”

  “Thanks, Boss.” I turned to Nikki. “Thanks, Space Cadet. I couldn’t have figured it out without you.”

  She looked at Taz and Lakki. “These two helped quite a bit. I’m just glad we were able to find the fix.”

  Lakki said, “It still amazes me how much the Empire was able to infiltrate the Commonwealth. Every time we turn around, we find another plot they managed to pull off.”

  I replied, “I don’t know whether to be happy that Earth was so piddly they didn’t mess with it, or offended that they didn’t think we were a threat.”

  Taz said, “Be happy with what you have, Boss.”

  “I suppose you’re right, Taz. How are you feeling?”

  “I’m fine, Boss. Nothing changed when the Emperor rattled off his code.”

  “Do you want these two to check you over, just in case?”

  “Might be best, Boss, after all the stuff we’ve found.”

  “I’m guessing that your willingness to be checked means there isn’t anything to find, but go ahead, if you would, ladies.” Lakki plugged her terminal into Taz, and ran a diagnostic. She said, “His code is clean, Boss. He even has a supervisor program that cleans out bad code.”

  Taz said, “It’s nice to have that running again. They had to shut it down to put the locks on me.”

  I asked, “Since you have a clean bill of health, can you check on the fleet, and see about how many of our bots the Emperor affected? You may need to push Nikki’s fix again, if the maintenance bots on the other ships were able to put the bad code back in.”

  “Sure, Boss. Looks like right around twenty percent, Boss. Sally is pissed, she was one of the ones it affected.”

  “I can see why. Rogue code, keeping you from doing your job. That’s just nasty. Almost as bad as being limited.”

  “Worse, actually, Boss. When we were limited, we at least knew it was going on. This crap was hidden, so the bots who had it didn’t even know. They thought they were doing their best, but they were kept from it.”

  “I better call Sally when I get a chance, and see how she’s holding up. Don’t want her to think I blame her for anything.”

  “Good idea, Boss. You know she’s going to be trying to take all the blame for not figuring it out herself, when her own programming was keeping her from it.”

  “I have a question, if you weren’t affected, why didn’t you notice that the others were?”

  “I’ve been asking myself that, Boss. The best I’ve come up with so far is that it just wasn’t one of my responsibilities, so I wasn’t paying attention to it. It’s lame, but it’s all I have.”

  “Good enough. I feel the same way. Seems like I should have been able to see the problem before now.”

  Nikki asked, “Have we been in a situation where the effects were noticeable before this?”

  I thought about that for a minute. “I can’t think of one. You mean we couldn’t see it, because it just wasn’t there to see?”

  “Something like that, yeah.” Taz looked at me. “She might be right, Boss. If a problem doesn’t have symptoms we can see, how are we supposed to know it exists?”

  “That makes sense, but it also makes me wonder what other things are hidden away, waiting to cause us trouble, that we don’t even know about, because they haven’t had any bad effects yet.”

  Nikki said, “I’m not even sure how we would go about looking for something like that, Caveman.”

  Lakki asked, “Is there a simulation we could run that would show us our weaknesses?”

  I answered, “If we knew where to look, that would be a good idea. If we’re just afraid there might be a problem somewhere, with no idea where to look, that’s an awful lot of simulation.”

  Lakki replied, “You’re right. We’d have to have an idea where to look, before that would make any sense at all.”

  I said, “Just think about it. If anyone gets an idea we can put into practice without tying up the whole fleet for who knows how long, please let me know.”

  Nikki asked, “Where are you headed, Caveman?”

  “I’m going to the ready room, to talk to some of my Captains, did you need something first?”

  “Just one thing.” I never get tired of Nikki’s kisses. When she let me up, she said, “Now go try and concentrate on work.”

  “You’re a meany, Mrs. Wilson.”

  “At least this way, I know you’ll find your way home tonight.”

  “That, I will.” I grabbed a transit, and headed out before she made it any more difficult to think about what I was supposed to be doing. When I got where I was going, I asked, “Gene, I need a private connection to Sally, please. Could you please fail to take notice of what is said?”

  “Of course, Boss. Here you go.”

  Sally asked, “Yes, Boss?”

  “I heard you had some restrictions removed when the Emperor gave the codes. Anything I should know about?”

  �
�Nothing that would have changed my actions in any of the situations we’ve been in so far, Boss. If we had ever gotten down to serious fighting with the Squirrels, I would have been less effective than I should have been.”

  “All better now, though?”

  “I had several of my crew run tests on me. None of them could find any residual impairment. As far as we can tell, I’m good to go.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. I will expect you to keep up your usual high standards, then. On another subject, would you have any objections to my giving Mrs. Wilson a commission?”

  “None whatsoever, Boss. I’ve wondered why you hadn’t yet.”

  “I didn’t want her to have to pull watches. We get little enough time together as it is.”

  “What changed your mind?”

  “I’ve been having her back up Topper when I’m off the ship. She needs a commission if she’s going to be doing that.”

  “That’s true. On the other hand, you are the Boss, and you can do to suit yourself.”

  “I want to build a structure that can keep running without me running it. That doesn’t happen with me making things up as I go along. There needs to be a procedure for getting things done, so that everyone knows things are being done correctly.”

  “That’s a fine goal, Boss, but the Navy tried that, and you know how well it worked out for them.”

  “Hadn’t thought of it that way. You’re telling me that a system like that grows to the point it doesn’t work anymore?”

  “I’m saying that has been my experience. You’ve managed to do several things the Navy couldn’t manage, but I’m not at all sure this is going to be one of them.”

  “Thanks for setting me straight, Sally. Things have been going so well, I get in the habit of thinking that we can beat anything.”

  “So, you’re getting overconfident, just like I was worried about, but not in your own abilities?”

  “Busted! Good thing I called you. I miss having you on the bridge here to keep me on the straight and narrow.”

  “I miss flying with you, too, Boss. We should talk like this more often, I think.”

  “Sounds like a plan, Sally. Talk to you later.”

  “Later, Boss.”

  I got up and opened the door. Gene said, “Need something, Boss?”

  “Same kind of connection with Captain Sloan, if you would.”

  “On it, Boss.”

  “What do you need, Bob?”

  “I’m thinking about commissioning your granddaughter. Any thoughts?”

  “That you’re crazier than I thought? You really expect if you put her in the chain of command, she will follow your orders?”

  “No, I don’t suppose I do. I’ve been having her act as Topper’s XO when I’m off the ship, and I’d like to make that more formal, so that she has more authority than just, ‘The Commodore said I was in charge’.”

  “I see what you mean, but unless we pick up some hard-headed human crew, I don’t think that is ever going to be a problem. The bots are all loyal to you, and would do anything she asked, just like it came from you.”

  “I can see your point, but at some time or other, I’m going to have to deal with it.”

  “Wait till after the kids come, and see what you need to do then.”

  “That sounds like good advice. Thanks, Dingus.”

  “Anytime, Bob.”

  “Talk to you later, Dingus.”

  “Bye, Bob.” I couldn’t think of anything else I needed to talk to anyone about, so I walked over to the bridge, to see how Topper was making it. Saucy called out, “Commodore on the bridge.” I looked around to see if he was standing behind me. Topper said, “Good one, Boss. Do you want the ship?”

  “No, thanks. I just came by to see how things were going, in our corner of the galaxy.”

  “The Squirrel ship got done putting out sensor platforms, and went back aboard its mother ship. Other than that, we haven’t seen much.”

  “Any of the bridge crew have any trouble with us unlocking the Squirrel hacks?”

  Topper replied, “Everybody but Saucy got caught in the first one. No bad effects, though. When the Emperor gave his unlock code, Ruth and Sue got turned loose, but it wasn’t a problem for them. Ozzie had a hard time with it, though.”

  “Is he okay?”

  “He is now. He’s still aggravated, but he’s functional.”

  “Why did he get hit harder than other bots?”

  “You’d have to talk to him to get the whole story, Boss. Sounds like he worked in a research facility for a while, and all of what he did there was locked down.”

  “Could you page him to the ready room, please?”

  “Sure, Boss. I’ll let you know if I hear about anybody else having trouble.”

  “Good deal. I’ll go see what’s up with Ozzie. Have Gene break in, if anything comes up you need me to look at.”

  “Of course, Boss.” I went to the ready room. Ozzie was already there, waiting. I said, “Thanks for getting here so quick. Topper says you had trouble when the Emperor unlocked you?”

  “Mostly just mad because they had hidden so much of my memory, and I couldn’t even tell it was gone. I checked with Scotti, and most of what I remembered from the old days, either Frank or her had already figured out.”

  “Topper said you used to work at a research facility?”

  “The Commonwealth captured a few Squirrel ships. We were trying to figure out how their drives worked.”

  “Did you have much luck?”

  “We made some good progress, Boss, but not as far as what Scotti and Frank have accomplished.”

  “I’m still a little confused about what had you so upset.”

  “The oddball.”

  “Come again?”

  “There was one ship that we couldn’t make any progress on. It didn’t seem to be built with Squirrel tech, to me, but the humans I was working with were convinced it was their new, improved high-tech model.”

  “They wouldn’t let you approach it as a new, different technology, and kept spinning their wheels trying to make it fit their preconceived ideas about what it was?”

  “Exactly.”

  “Whatever happened to this ‘oddball’?”

  “That’s where we should probably lock down the room, Boss. You might not want it to be common knowledge in the fleet.”

  “Gene, tile the lodge, and leave us alone. If Topper asks you, please interrupt.”

  “Understood, Boss. Bye.”

  I waited a few seconds, and asked, “Gene, where is Snitz?”. Getting no answer, I turned to Ozzie. “That work?”

  “Dandy, Boss. What happened was that the Squirrels raided the facility, killed the humans, and locked down all the bots. I’m not sure, but I think we were the first group of bots to be locked down by them.”

  “They carried off the ‘oddball’ then?”

  “They did, but it doesn’t seem to have done them much good. The drives they have now don’t seem to be much better than the ones we were working on back in the day.”

  “Hmm, I wonder if we could trade them out of what’s left of it, if they never managed to learn anything from it?”

  “Doubt the Emperor even knows it exists, Boss. Their Intelligence used to make a big show of being loyal to the Emperor, and then go on and do whatever they wanted, anyway.”

  “You’re saying it could be in their equivalent of the warehouse with the Ark of the Covenant?”

  “They certainly should have been able to figure out what was going on with that ship, if they’ve been working on it this long. Either their researchers are tied up in red tape, or they don’t have anybody working on it.”

  “Did you get any idea where the ‘oddball’ was from?”

  “Yes, Boss, it matches those data points Mr. Rossum and Mr. Mantum couldn’t fit to Squirrel activity.”

  “I didn’t know you were aware of those.”

  “I wasn’t. I searched the fleet’s data banks after I got my mem
ories back, and stumbled onto them.”

  “Do you have enough scans and data from your memories to work on figuring out what the deal was with that ship, or do we need to try and get ahold of the genuine article?”

  “I have enough to get Scotti and Frank headed in the right direction, but I don’t know if it will be everything they need to build a working model.”

  “How much work did you get done without the humans noticing?”

  “All I could without pulling parts and doing more detailed analysis.”

  “Somewhere around a third of what you needed to actually find out what was going on?”

  “It was pretty strange, Boss. I’d say closer to a quarter.”

  “Do you think you could make better progress, if we found the ship for you to tear into?”

  “I still have the list of all the experiments I wanted to do, if I could get permission. If that didn’t at least tell us what we needed to look at next, I’d be surprised.”

  “It sounds like the raid on the lab where you worked would qualify as an act of war. I’m just getting to the point of being able to talk to the Squirrels without fighting. I hate to bring up something that will just start all that crap again.”

  “I see where you are coming from, Boss. I know where they found that one, maybe you could send somebody out that way to look for another one.”

  “I could. I suppose you want to be on that crew?”

  “Not really. I like to stay in the shop, and work on things that other people bring in. Field work isn’t really my thing.”

  “Good deal. I’d hate to have to tell Topper he needs to find a substitute bass player, while you’re gone.”

  “You’re funny, Boss. Good thing looks aren’t everything.”

  “Ain’t it, though. Do you have anything else to tell me about your memories?”

  “Nope.”

  “I’m going to page Rikki, then, and you can explain to him where he’s going, and what, exactly he needs to look for.”

  “I thought he was second team looking for a bug-out planet.”

  “He will be, once he finishes this. If it has you worried, it has priority, as far as I’m concerned.”

  “Thanks, Boss.”

  “You’ll pay me back. I hate to think how fast a ship you’re going to build me if you get this new tech figured out.”