Triangles

by Kimberly Ann Miller

  No doubt about it. Cruise ships like to make their passengers feel special.

  The maître d’ led us through a maze of tables and chairs. I noticed some tables for just two or four people, as well as long and round tables for larger groups. The matching white tablecloths, napkins, and chair covers felt too formal—even in a dress, I didn’t feel like I belonged. Crystal wine glasses, real china dishes, and silver utensils sat in perfect arrangements around multicolored floral centerpieces.

  “Here we are, ladies. Enjoy your dinner.” The maître d’ motioned toward a round table with eight chairs. He winked at Jessica, then left.

  I turned to Jessica. “Why such a big table?”

  She looked away and shifted her weight. “I forgot to tell you. They set a lot of the tables up like the prom or a wedding.” She smiled and pointed at the table. “More people means more fun, right?”

  I looked at her, then at all the empty seats. Socializing with strangers ranked right up there with going to the dentist as a favorite activity of mine. My gaze moved toward the door. “I’m not hungry.” I turned toward the crowded entrance.

  Jessica grabbed my arm. “God, Autumn, wait. Please. Just try dinner tonight. If you don’t like it, the rest of the trip you can have room service or go to the buffet.” She took my hand. “Please? I’ll buy you something in Bermuda. I don’t want to be here alone the first night.”

  I let out an exaggerated sigh and pulled my hand away. “Fine, I’ll do it just for you. And because I got the bed. But I’m eating and leaving. And I do not plan on talking to anyone, got it?”

  She smiled at me and relaxed a bit. “Fine. Just don’t be rude, okay? Pick a seat.”

  I chose a seat leaving my back to the room so I could look out the large windows that surrounded each level of the dining room. I saw nothing but sky and ocean. All of the land had disappeared, and the outside world now consisted of various shades of blues from top to bottom.

  I scanned the table. With the number of plates, forks, spoons, and knives I saw in front of me, I wondered how many people were supposed to share the stuff. Then I saw that each person had the same number of utensils. How much did they think we could eat in one sitting?

  Jessica sat next to me and put her napkin on her lap. “It’s been so long since I’ve had a vacation. I wish Mom was here. I feel bad leaving her alone at the hospital.”

  I glared at her. The mention of Mom stirred emotions I didn’t want to deal with right now. “Can we not talk about home, please? She’s in capable hands, and since she hasn’t woken up from her coma in six months, I doubt one week is going to make a difference. Plus, they can contact you if anything happens while we’re here.”

  She glared back. “Autumn, Mom saved up for two years to pay for this trip. You could appreciate what she did for us, you know.” She rearranged the glass salt and pepper shakers on the table. I knew her face well enough to see the tears she was fighting to keep hidden.

  I slouched in my seat and played with my polished silver fork. “I’m sorry. I do appreciate it. It’s just that I feel, I don’t know, guilty being here. Maybe this was a bad idea and we should’ve waited for her to get better.” I looked out the window. It may have been my imagination, but every shade of blue I saw before now looked darker. Angrier. More depressed.

  The darker colors reflected my bleak mood perfectly.

  She opened her mouth again to speak when an old, white-haired couple came to the table. They introduced themselves as John and Mary from Philadelphia. I let Jessica take on the job of playing hostess. I had no plans to remember anyone’s names and was sure they didn’t care about me. The old lady put a napkin on the seat between her and me, then sat down. Maybe she was afraid to sit next to a cranky teenager. She turned her back to me and busied herself with helping the man put his napkin on his lap.

  Next, three round, loud women came and sat across from me. They all seemed to be in their forties, and they all looked alike. They talked way too much. Luckily it was to each other, and not to us.

  I rubbed my forehead, trying to silently signal to everyone that I had a headache. I was definitely not returning to the dining room after tonight.

  At eight o’clock on the dot, our waiter, Alejandro, came to the table. He handed out leather-bound menus and began explaining the choices in his thick Spanish accent when the old lady next to me stopped him. “Could you wait one minute, honey? My grandson is going to be here any second.”

  “No problem, Madame.” He winked at Jessica before leaving the table. These guys needed a new routine with all the winking going on. Ugh.

  I looked at the empty seat with the napkin on it. Great. A little boy sitting next to me for dinner? No way. He would probably do disgusting things like pick his nose and rub it on me or touch my food or insist on talking to me. I shot Jessica a nasty scowl and shoved back my chair to get up. I didn’t realize someone was standing behind me until the chair refused to move any further, banging into the person and trapping me.

  “Oh, sorry,” I started to mumble.

  “You’re late, honey.” The old woman next to me looked over my head at the person I’d just rammed.

  “Thank you for pointing that out, Grandma,” a horribly familiar voice responded. “Sorry about that. I had a minor problem to take care of.”

  I froze in place. As soon as I defrosted and pulled my chair back in, Joey pulled out the chair with the napkin on it and sat down. Next to me. His smile was so huge, I thought his face might crack in half.

  The only thing preventing me from banging my head on the fancy table was the high chance of stabbing myself in the eye with all that silverware.

  Joey leaned over and whispered in my ear. “You didn’t have to hit my shin to get my attention. Just being you is enough.”

  I cringed. What a dork.

  He turned and spoke to his grandparents. “I had to dig through the suitcase to find my tie.” I stared at him as he fiddled with the ugly red tongue hanging from his neck. He swung his head to face Jessica and me. He couldn’t contain that huge smile. “Hi Jessica! How’d I get lucky enough to sit next to you two lovely ladies?”

  Um, yeah, and how did I get so unlucky? I narrowed my eyes at him. “Did you plan this?” I whispered. “Because I swear—”

  He held his hand up to stop me. I noticed the usual grease stains were absent.

  “No, Autumn. I told you I had no idea about this. My grandparents set it up.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “Blame them.” He winked and turned back to the old lady.

  I whipped my head around to face Jessica. “Please tell me you did not set this up, because I so do not need this—”

  “We didn’t even know him when this trip was booked, right? Besides, maybe fate is playing a little game with you. You should listen.”

  “Hmph.” I mumbled under my breath. Fate. Ha. Hadn’t fate messed with me enough already? Or maybe this was karma, getting even with me for what I did to Mom. And Dad. And Jessica…

  I stole a glance at Joey while he reviewed the menu with his grandparents. In a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and khaki pants that were a tad too long, his hair styled and his cheeks flushed from the heat, he looked pretty good.

  A rush of warmth flooded my face and stomach. For the first time ever, I found myself thinking about kissing him, despite his many, many faults. Ugh.

  See, just what I thought. This stupid cruise was messing with my mind already. I wondered if it was too late to jump ship. I could swim back to New Jersey and call Nisha to pick me up.

  The waiter came back to the table to go over the menu with us and take our orders, but my appetite had plummeted the minute Joey sat down. When the waiter asked for my dinner choice, I stood up.

  “I’m sorry. I’m not feeling very well.” I put my napkin on my chair and walked out of the dining room without looking back. I could feel Jessica’s eyes boring into me, but I didn’t care. I knew going on this vacation was a bad idea.

  As I ru
shed to get away from the dining room and its torture, I heard bells and cheers coming from my left. I wandered toward the sound to see what was going on. A distraction would do me good.

  I’d never been to a casino before, but there was no mistaking what I saw for anything else. Just like I’d seen in the movies, rows of silver slot machines stood shoulder to shoulder, like soldiers lined up awaiting orders. Card tables, manned by attractive women with big boobs and tiny glittery outfits, held players prisoner to their hopes of winning big. Bells, whistles, electronic voices, and flashing lights lured innocent people into the casino’s lair.

  “Two grand! I won two grand!” A short man in a green suit screamed a few feet from me. He hugged the slot machine and kicked his feet like a kid getting his first iPhone.

  I stood at the entrance, mesmerized by the glitz and the smell of money. A gentle hand landed on my shoulder. “Excuse me, miss. Do you realize you must be at least eighteen to be in here?” a deep male voice asked.

  I put my hands on my hips and glared at the security guard. “Of course. I can read. Why do you think I’m standing here watching instead of playing?” I turned with a flip of my hair and walked out.

  So much for that get-rich-quick plan.

  I wound my way through the ship to the pool deck and up to the stairs leading to the walking track above it. The surrounding darkness prepared to swallow me whole. I walked to the back of the ship and gripped the railing. Stars peppered the moonless sky. The ocean below revealed a smooth surface without traces of life, interrupted only by occasional ripples from the ship. Looking out into the darkness mirrored a look into my soul—dark, empty, lifeless.

  The sudden appearance of a family of dolphins caught my eye. Their shiny skin reflected the cruise ship lights like dancing diamonds. I stared with envy as they engaged in a game unknown to me. How I wished my life was like theirs—splashing through the water, basking in the sun during the day, playing with each other. No societal expectations. No familial expectations. No guilt if someone they loved got hurt or died. If I could’ve jumped in the water and joined them, I would have.

  I hung my head over the rail and closed my eyes. The wind rushing through my hair and onto my face blew away my dolphin fantasy. When I heard footsteps behind me, I didn’t bother to turn around. I was standing near the walking path, so it was probably some couple out for a starlit stroll.

  A low voice whispered in my ear. “Hey there.”

  I slowly turned to face a gorgeous guy in a suit so black the stars could have gotten lost in it.

  Marcus held a hand out to me. “Ready to make your cruise worthwhile?”

  Five

  I let my gaze drift all over him. “What’d you have in mind?”

  Marcus touched my back with a warm hand. “Anything. You game?”

  I nodded but didn’t speak. He was freakin’ hot. He had gelled his dark hair into a purposefully messy style, leaving a small chunk veiling his right eye. The light gray rim surrounding his black pupil resembled a hawk’s eye.

  Delicious.

  He checked me out from head to toe. “Hot tub?”

  I’d forgotten I was wearing my dress from dinner until a breeze off the ocean almost lifted it up and exposed my black bikini underwear. I grabbed the hem of the skirt and held it in place.

  “By the way, you look fantastic.” He spoke in a husky voice.

  I wondered just how much that breeze had shown him. “Thanks.”

  “So, the hot tub? It looks empty.” He glanced at the bubbling water one level below.

  I grinned, imagining Marcus in a Speedo. “I don’t have my bathing suit with me.”

  He shrugged and gave my body another quick once-over. “Who said we need bathing suits? It’s already dark out. No one will—”

  “I have to get back to my cabin,” I interrupted. I wanted to hang out with him, but with him suggesting skinny-dipping in the hot tub, well, I wasn’t quite up for that. “I suddenly don’t feel that great. I think I ate too much today.”

  “Okay.” He reached out to put a hand on my arm. “I’ll walk you to your cabin then. I wouldn’t be happy with myself if you never made it there because some other dude decided to make you his.”

  I smiled. “Sure. It’s on the ninth deck.”

  He stepped next to me and held his arm out like men do in old movies. I hooked my hand in his elbow and started walking. The way he held my hand tight against his muscular chest made my heart flutter. I was grateful I wasn’t wearing high heels because, with my flats, we were almost the same height.

  “Enjoying the cruise so far?” He pushed the elevator button for the ninth floor.

  No. “Yes.” I could feel my hand getting damp as it rested in his elbow. “It could be better if…” I trailed off, not wanting to complain about Joey to this guy I’d just met. Listening to people bitch about their exes was such a turnoff. And even though Joey wasn’t my ex-anything, it might sound like it to this hottie. I so didn’t want him to think that. He’d already mistaken Joey for my boyfriend. Yuck.

  The elevator doors opened to reveal an empty car that had mirrored walls. “After you.” He released my hand and ushered me inside.

  I could feel his stare on my ass as I slipped to the back of the elevator. I turned around in time to catch his eyes wandering back to my face.

  He leaned against the rail next to me. In the low light, he looked like a spy with his fancy suit and casual stance. “Tell me, what would make the cruise better?” He tilted his head toward mine so his lips were next to my ear. “I’d love to improve things for you.” Warm breath tickled my cheek.

  Heat spread through my entire body. Since Trystan had dumped me for not sleeping with him the night I’d taken my mom’s car, I hadn’t bothered to get involved with anyone else. No one interested me enough to put my heart or sanity on the line again.

  But Marcus seemed like the perfect guy to help me back into the wonderful world of dating. Low emotional involvement, high likelihood of fun.

  I sighed. “Remember that guy you thought was my boyfriend?”

  He straightened and stared at the advancing numbers on the elevator. “He is your boyfriend, isn’t he?”

  I grabbed his arm. “No! He wants to be, but no. It’s not that.”

  He relaxed his pose and smiled. “What about him, then?”

  I put my head in my hands. “He’s on this ship with his family. He not only has the same dinner seating as I do, but even the same table.” I dropped my hands and looked into his eyes, both now visible in the low light of the elevator. “One of the things I was looking forward to on this cruise was getting away from him, and he followed me. Every freakin’ step I take, he’s one step behind.”

  Marcus smirked and ran a finger along my arm. His eyes shone like the glossy silver paint on my boss’s Mustang. “I can help you forget your troubles. Just say the word.”

  I grinned. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Fantasies of us sneaking into the hot tub together at midnight crept into the back of my thoughts. With bathing suits. At least at first…

  He must’ve been thinking something similar because he grinned and licked his lips. “Okay. Name the time and place. I’ll be there.”

  A fire started deep inside me. This was getting a little too tense. If I didn’t step back now, there was no telling what I’d let myself get into.

  The elevator doors opened on my floor. I didn’t want Marcus to know my room number yet. What if he turned into Joey, the Sequel?

  We stepped off the elevator into the nearly deserted hall. I jerked a thumb down the opposite hall from my cabin. “I’m down there. Unfortunately, I’m not really up for anything tonight. Thanks for the company, though. Maybe a rain check?” I turned to walk away and he grabbed my hand. I stopped and looked at him.

  He lifted my hand to his smiling lips and planted a long, slow kiss on the back of it. When he looked up at me, that lock of hair had fallen back over one eye. “Goodnight, Autumn. I’ll look forward to seeing yo
u when you feel better.” He released my hand back to my custody and hopped on the elevator before the doors bumped shut again.

  By the time I got to my cabin, I had to jam the keycard into the slot three times before it would work. I flung the door open, threw myself inside, and made sure the lock caught before breathing a sigh of relief.

  I stepped out of my dress and tossed it on the floor. The distant hum of the engine filled my ears as I put on an old pair of shorts and a T-shirt. I climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to my chin.

  Why was I flirting with Marcus? Why was I attracted to Joey at dinner? What kind of disaster was I setting myself up for?

  I was such a loser. If I fell for someone now, I’d never make my escape. My only goal in life would be sabotaged by my stupid, idiotic hormones.

  Besides, everyone I loved ended up dead or sick. I didn’t want to spread whatever poison ran through my blood to anyone else. Not even Joey.

  Luckily, Jessica seemed immune to my toxin with her health, but her life had suffered. She was stuck taking care of me when she could be out doing other things like dating, returning to college, or worrying about herself and not me.

  Ugh. I was like a disease.

  One of Jessica’s People magazines sat on the dresser next to me. I picked it up and browsed the photos. A picture of a woman looking forlorn made me realize something. Back home, people who knew about my parents always gave me this sad face. It said, “Poor Autumn,” and it pissed me off. The whole day on the ship, not one person had given me that face. No one here knew about my dad, my mom, or my life—except for Joey. No one looked at me and felt sorry for poor Autumn and her sister, the girls without parents. They looked at me and just saw a girl.

  This was the reason I had to get away from home. I needed a new start. But with this ship crawling with reminders of my past, getting away wasn’t going to be easy.

  Maybe a fling with Marcus would be a great distraction. Good thing Nisha made me pack that thong.

  I checked the time. Already after ten. I put the magazine down and went to sleep.