The Alterator's Light

by Dan Brigman

  Staring down at the street, Malkari replied simply, “Mayhem.”

  15 — Forlorn Hopes

  The muted brightness of the day’s light shone through the sheer curtains and fell upon both companions simultaneously. Stirring in his bed, Einar groaned as he rubbed his burning eyes. He caught a low moan from Saen’s position, and pangs of guilt washed over him. Here I am sleeping in a bed, and she’s been near-upright in a chair.

  Through a stifled yawn, Einar said, “Saen, I’d gladly switch positions with you. You can’t have slept well there.”

  “I didn’t sleep much looking over you, anyway.” Still rubbing his eyes, Einar heard a hint of a smile in her words. “Holli checked in on us several times. She is rather upset with you.”

  Einar pulled his hands down and pushed the blanket back then replied, “I can only imagine what Ellia told her, and I’d probably agree. Holli’s a cousin by marriage, but I hope the still-intact marriage vows will help persuade Holli to help us.” He let out a long sigh then continued, “She’s already done more than I ever would have expected.”

  The room’s only door opened, interrupting the two friends. They watched Holli enter holding a platter of steaming food and drink. “Ahhh, I see the sloths are awake. I had hoped so considering its nearing midday and all.”

  “Midday?” issued from both companions in a near yelp.

  “Yes. Midday. Am I not speaking plain enough for the two of you?”

  “Holli, my appreciation is beyond words for what you’ve done. But I cannot abide the sarcasm. I know you and I have not gotten along well in the past, but I’d like to offer my side of the story. I’m sure Ellia offered enough to diminish my abilities.”

  The cups and bowls jostled while Holli placed the platter on a small wooden table matching the design of the chair Saen still sat upon. Holli strode to the curtains and threw them wide to a gasp of startled pain from her guests. Holli turned, vehemence blazing in her eyes, and said, “Einar, you are a fool. It’s not what Ellia said, but the mere fact she is traveling south without you and with all three children in tow. She didn’t need to say one word about your circumstances.”

  Holli alternated her gaze between the blinking visages of the bedraggled guests and laughed. “Once, nothing could have separated Ellia from your side, Einar. Something you have done pushed her away.” She pointed a finger at Einar, continuing, “You and you alone. There are no two sides to this story. In your mind, only yours is true, yet she and the children are hapless witnesses to your continual mistakes and lack of care for their well-being.”

  Sighing deeply and seeing that the companions’ jaws hung wide open, Holli continued, “I’ve honestly never really thought much of you, Einar. You followed some crazy dream of changing reality to your whims. That is the path of a single man, not of a husband, and especially not of a father.” Pacing closer to Einar, she laid a hand on his shoulder. “I see in your eyes the remorse and unflinching desire to do something to protect those you love. But there is a danger laced within the edges of your eyes.” Turning ever so slightly to face Saen, Holli asked with a slight downward turn of her lips, “Haven’t you noticed its presence, Saen?”

  “Well, what do you mean by that?” Einar gasped as Holli pulled her hand back and began to exit the room.

  Ignoring the question, she simply stated, “Rest, the two of you. You’ll need it. The blizzard will run its course soon, and you’ll need to be on your way. I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you.”

  The companions glanced at one another briefly, and only a slight smile passed Saen’s lips before she turned to face the window. Staring outward at the flurry of brightened points of falling white, Saen said, after several moments, “I had hoped she’d be somewhat more welcoming to family, but I’m still curious as to what she referred to.” When Einar offered no response, she continued, “I will leave you to rest now. I’ll find a couch or something to get some proper sleep in the meantime.”

  Stepping toward the door, Saen paused as Einar stated, “Holli has an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Hopefully we can get a true sense of what Ellia really said.” Saen nodded slightly and departed the room. Einar’s eyes shifted back to the falling snow. The blurred streaks of white forced his concentration to wane. Hiding a yawn with the back of his hand, Einar slipped back to sleep when his hand touched the bed.

  Startled by creaking floorboards, Einar woke to see darkness had fallen. Groaning from stiffness, he could not tell how long he had slept. The moonlight’s reflecting whiteness and the lack of falling snow surprised Einar. Odd, I thought the storm would last through the night. Grumbling from his stomach interrupted any other thoughts. Despite his hunger and thirst, he felt refreshed in a way which evoked guilt. I’ve no right to relax while my family is probably suffering in the cold. Gentle laughter across the room caused him to utter a curse.

  “Such language, cousin.” The smile upon Holli’s face may have been unseen in the dark room, yet it was plain in her tone. “No wonder Ellia left you with a tongue like that.”

  “Holli, enough!”

  He dared not continue for fear of him and Saen being tossed out in the snow. The heat behind the words must have shocked her; only the squeak of floorboards broke the silence following the deafening shout. Saen’s silhouette became clear as she passed by the window, apparently heading to the door.

  “Holli, I’m sorry.”

  The door opened, allowing light to spill inward from the hallway. Holli’s piercing blue eyes shone in the half light. She clenched her hands at her side. “Perhaps if you had that type of vigor years ago, the people of Durik’s Pass would have respected you from the beginning. Instead, you were a spineless Alterator, who couldn’t even stand up for himself.” She paused as a slight grin formed. “Now, I’m going to get you some food. The dawn is nearly upon us, and you’ll need your strength to follow after Ellia and the children.”

  Hours passed with little to keep his mind occupied. He heard movement on the other side of the door. A hint of lowered voices offered only indistinguishable words. Even that minor distraction allowed no respite from the fleeting images of his children and Ellia. He latched onto memories of their faces, their smiles, and even the nights he spent lying in bed telling the stories of what they called his “adventures” as a younger man. Concocting variations of the stories’ endings into something to give them pleasant dreams did not mesh with the harsh reality of what he had had to endure before even meeting Ellia.

  Shifting for what must have been the hundredth time, Einar turned to see Saen’s eyes peeking through the doorway. His grimace shifted quickly to a smile. Her gray eyes caught his, and a tinge of apparent sadness shifted when the edges of her lips turned upward.

  “Come in, please,” Einar said. “We need to talk.”

  She brushed lightly past the door and she entered with a tray. The smell of various foods—grilled chicken and buttered biscuits—caught his attention, as Saen glided across the floor to place the tray upon his lap.

  “Before you devour everything, I brought this for both of us.”

  She grabbed a few biscuits and one of the glasses of milk then sat. They ate wordlessly for several moments. Swallowing the remains of the first biscuit, Saen broke the silence.

  “We have three more days of travel before we even reach North Sacclon, Einar. Then Vesper’s Point, Iveness, and finally, I assume, Tolsont. Many miles ahead of us without a scant bit of luck so far, other than the biting tongue of your cousin here. If we are to catch them, we must gain ground.”

  “If it is your business you’re worried about, Saen, then please don’t hesitate to travel back to the Pass. I can’t expect you to keep following me.” He had meant the words respectfully, but Einar sighed as he saw her face redden, her freckles darkening.

  “My business.” She paused, her cheeks flushing. “Perhaps your cousin is right, after all, for being a fool! I’ve come all this way, and you think I’m worried about my business?” She inhaled de
eply, crossed her arms, then stood to stare out the window. Long moments passed, and she began again with softer tones. “Einar, I’m worried about them, too. Ellia acted rashly. Perhaps for the sake of the children, or so she thought, but she still took them into the blizzard without letting anyone know her plans. You know, your cousin detests you more than I thought possible; no wonder she helped Ellia rather than sending word for you.”

  “I know all that,” Einar replied before she could speak over him.

  “Yes, you do, but the fact that a Blighter has an interest in you is my greater concern, even above that of the children and Ellia.”

  Einar took a deep breath. He prepared to clarify that the interest may be quite accurate before they were interrupted by Holli’s appearance. Her face, molded by shock, would have once been hysterical to Einar. Now it gnawed at his mind, as he should have felt the same at hearing that a Blighter had taken an interest in him. Instead, Einar’s heart thumped in his chest with either anger or fear. He couldn’t decide. Did she hear what Saen said? He braced for what was to come.

  Holli stepped in the room and closed the door behind her. Hearing it click shut, she paced to the only other chair in the room and sat heavily. Einar felt confusion setting in. He had never seen his cousin in such disarray. Through his puzzlement he caught Saen’s gaze. The look of pure frustration and disbelief carried great weight as Saen took what seemed to be an unthinking step back. Shamefaced, she sat down on a small stool and tore her gaze from Einar to Holli. Shame flitted away as quickly as it had appeared, as Saen’s eyes widened and her head tilted slightly to one side.

  Einar shifted his body again and glanced at Holli. He could only see half her face as she sat with her back straight, peering out the window; tears slid down her face. I didn’t expect this, he thought. Holli’s shoulders trembled, and her eyes involuntarily squinted as the sun rose over the larger squat buildings across the street from her small home. The mid-morning sun reminded him of their fleeting time. I must mend this bridge before it falls completely into the stream. Pushing the cover aside, he shifted off the bed. Einar gritted his teeth from the jarring pain of his joints and muscles, sore from disuse while lying in the bed. Despite the sudden shock of his warm feet upon the frigid floor’s wood, he moved to Holli and knelt toward her.

  Either she did not notice, or care; she moved only when Einar placed his fingers on her cheek. Starting backward, she began to say something, but Einar’s gaze caught hers and their eyes locked. Her shocking shift of mood took Einar off guard, further confusing him. Feeling a tear drop from his own eye, he could only offer, “I’m sorry for what I’ve done,” before she wrapped her arms around him. The simple, soft embrace became an opened floodgate for the pent-up pressure reeling in his mind and body. Laying his head on her shoulder, he wept uncontrollably as despair washed over him.

  An indeterminate amount of time slipped before shifting feet behind him drew him back to the present moment. For how long he leaned against Holli, Einar would not ever know, yet when he looked briefly into her eyes, laden with sorrow and bloodshot, Einar knew he could have rested easily for an eternity in that gaze of Holli’s selflessness. An eternity I don’t have, he thought while a smile upturned his lips. Saen’s entire demeanor had changed, and he would not question its sudden shift. Squeezing her arms gently, Einar moved back to the edge of the bed and sat.

  Saen stood to peer out the window. Tightness around her eyes and a hand held in place around her throat belied the apparent strength which Einar could plainly see in his old friend. Wiping his eyes, Einar told Holli their story up to the unexpected arrival at her home. She rarely moved during the telling; Saen moved only to sit. The sun rose implacably into midday as Einar spoke his final words. He left nothing out, even the part about the Blighter.

  “I can’t expect you to believe it all,” Einar began.

  “Einar, you can be a fool, but you are an honest fool. No one would be insane enough to mention they had met some ancient Blighter, especially the one you mentioned, and expect to have it believed, let alone not told to the local authorities.” Inhaling deeply, Holli turned her gaze to Saen. “Do you believe this story, Saen?”

  Saen had been staring outward, and she slowly shifted back to see Einar. Her eyes carried a weight he had not seen before. Or chosen to ignore, he thought before brushing it aside.

  “Yes, I believe him.” Her words, initially encouraging to Einar, slowly ushered in shame. She continued, “I’ve ventured with him all this way believing that without my help Einar will perish. Either by his own stubbornness, his wife’s stupidity for leaving with the children, or just a plain blight-wrought end. Perhaps I think too highly of myself, but while I sat listening, I recalled one thing: I love my friend and I will pass into the depths of hell with him if need be.” Smiling, almost imperceptibly, Saen stood and walked to Einar. She rested her hand on his shoulder for a breath and exited the room with only a short pause to state, “Einar, we leave in the morning. Your wife, who is my friend, too, and the children, need you.”

  “Well, Einar, I am truly sorry for my behavior. I’ve been,” Holli said then paused for a moment before continuing, “difficult. You and Ellia are quite possibly the most dysfunctional married couple I’ve ever met. If you weren’t family, I’d be speaking to the Lord Mayor. If he ever finds out I’ve harbored someone a Blighter has his eyes fixed upon, I’ll be lucky to see daylight ever again.”

  Glancing at one another, the two laughed mirthfully and the room’s tension, once palpable as the brightening noon-day sun, dissipated slowly. He could not speak after her admission of what they both knew to be true, and he hoped his expression of gratitude would be enough.

  Holli stood while wiping one eye and said, “Einar, rest easy here. I’ll speak to her and bring you some food in a bit. You do appear stronger, but not enough to leave until the morning. By the looks of it, Saen needs some time, too, to recover before leaving.”

  He could only nod. He did not trust himself to speak in light of her sudden compassion. In all the years I’ve known her, I’ve never heard an apology, not to mention kindness.

  Holli departed and Einar stood before walking to the window. I need to get the blood flowing. Standing and staring out the window, he had positioned himself in the same space Saen had occupied. What had Saen been looking at? The question echoed in his mind for hours while he watched the sunlight melt snowfall on the nearby rooftops. The dripping water formed short glistening icicles at the edges of gutters and downspouts. The light warmed the street melting snow piles to wet spots on the road. Einar could see enough to give him some hope for traveling tomorrow; the road south slowly became soft mud, at least where the sun touched the ground. The shadowed areas refused relinquishment of their stony coldness, and Einar felt the sudden gusts of wind through the gaps in the window frame, providing him with a stark reminder the trip would still be unrelentingly icy. Even in spite of the wind’s frigidity, the few passers-by Einar noticed had let go of their once-tight grip on cloaks and scarves. Men, women, and even children carried a grim determination that even this late-coming blizzard would be surmounted and forgotten.

  A gentle cough brought Einar fully to his senses from the deep reverie of sleep. His eyes opened and he noted Holli standing nearby. Einar sat up, then yawned. “I know we’ve had our differences, but I can’t express my appreciation enough for what you’ve done for us. I know Saen feels the same way.”

  Holli nodded as if expecting no less. She held a thin pile of folded clothes.

  As she placed the clothes at the end of the bed, Holli replied, “Perhaps, Einar, we can re-forge our friendship in time. Anyway, the sun will be up soon, and Saen is readying to leave before daybreak. There is some food and drink prepared for breakfast. Your packs are waiting for the both of you. The longer you delay here, the further away Ellia and the children will be. They shouldn’t be much further than North Sacclon by now, I’d think, but my horses may have carried them all the way to Vesper’s Point
. Hard to say, really.” Holli shrugged uncomfortably then departed.

  “Great. Horses,” Einar muttered to himself while he slid out of bed. How will we ever catch them now? He grabbed the familiar pile of clothing. After changing into his traveling clothes he had worn leaving Durik’s Pass, Einar paced to the kitchen. At the open door a distinct coffee aroma permeated the air. A quick scan around the small room showed only essential items were stored to prepare meals for no more than two people. The room had few doors to hide goods or tableware, yet everything was organized in the same way he remembered seeing years ago. Holli must have had trouble unexpectedly needing to feed my family, he thought dejectedly. All three of his children continued growing, and quickly. Kylia’s mind outpaced everything.

  Saen sat on a wooden stool holding a cup, sipping its dark contents, as he entered and scanned the room. A plate of biscuits, a few pieces of bacon, and a yellow apple lay on a ceramic plate across from Saen on the small, square wooden table. She smiled when they caught each other’s eyes, yet the smile belied her impatience to leave. Saen pointed at another identical cup and said, “Coffee.” Einar gently raised the cup to his lips as slivers of steam rose upward. Setting the cup back down, he ate the proffered food as quickly as possible.

  Holli entered and sat on a third chair between the two companions. She said nothing and watched curiously as Einar finished. He wiped crumbs from his face and downed the remaining coffee before rising.

  “I’m ready, Saen. Let me grab my pack and we’ll be off.”

  She nodded and stood, letting Holli lead the way to the front door with a lit candle. The candle’s light brushed through the darkness, leaving deep shadows to either side. The flickering light gave mere glimpses of the bare wood walls and the thin, dull-colored rugs. Over their footsteps, Einar heard a faint wind brush the house’s sides. As promised, the packs waited near the oaken door. After they quickly placed them on their backs and tightened the straps, Saen opened the door. The sun’s light broke the horizon, yet the sudden influx of cold wind forced all three to gasp.