by Lane Hart
“Great. As if tonight wasn’t shitty enough, my dad’s home,” I say.
“He’s wasted,” Blake observes as he weaves his way toward the sidewalk before the side of the house blocks him from view.
“No shit. He’s been coming home late as fuck, drunk off his ass for the past few weeks.”
“Who can blame him?” Royal says. “His wife didn’t just screw some rando. She screwed a kid the same age as his son. That’s a low fucking blow.”
“Did my mom, ah, did she ever hit on you or anything weird?” I ask my best friend what I’ve been wondering for weeks. Now is as good a time as any to find out since Royal’s drunk and high as a kite.
“Oh yeah,” he answers, making me cringe. “She really liked to hug me, rubbing her big tits against my chest like she was trying to make me hard. That’s why I stopped coming over before your dad kicked her out.”
“Goddamn it,” I grit out, now wishing I wouldn’t have asked.
“Who the fuck are you? Get the hell out of my house!”
My dad’s shouts can be heard clearly from outside, so Royal and I jump to our feet to head inside. I figured he was so drunk he thought my mom was still here. But just as we make our way to the living room, two half-naked guys I’ve never seen before come running down the stairs.
“Whoops. Looks like we had some stragglers,” Royal whispers with a chuckle as the two slip out the door.
“This place is trashed, and those assholes were in my bed! My bed! No more parties!” my dad exclaims when he starts to come down the stairs but falls on his ass, skidding down a few steps before he catches himself on the banister rail.
“I’ll hire someone to come clean it all up tomorrow,” I promise him.
“I want it spotless before I wake up!” he yells.
“Yes, sir,” I agree, not the least affected by his raised voice or orders since he won’t even remember this conversation tomorrow. It takes him two tries to get to his feet and go back up the steps to his bedroom where he slams the door behind him.
Chapter 10
Caroline
“Where did you go tonight?” my mom asks when Gwen and I walk in the front door and her and dad are still up watching television.
“Blake’s party for a little while, and then Gwen and I went out for milk shakes.” I leave off the burger, fries and onion rings I also scarfed down. Damn gummies are nothing but trouble.
“Have you been drinking?” Mom asks when I come closer because I have to pass the sofa on the way to the stairs.
“Maybe.” Letting them think I’ve only been drinking is better than the truth — that I’m still high too.
“Caroline!” my dad exclaims. “We expect more from you. You’re supposed to be an example to Aric and his friends.”
“Right, because Aric is just so perfect,” I mutter with a roll of my eyes. “Did you know your perfect son slept with Blake’s mom?” When they both lower their gaze, I know that they have heard. “Oh! Or how about this one? Aric kicked Blake’s ass tonight. On his birthday!”
“We’ll talk to your brother tomorrow,” my mom says. “But his behavior doesn’t excuse your bad behavior.”
Saturday morning, I’m up bright and early after not being able to sleep. Mostly, I stayed up snacking all night. And writing in my diary until I decided I was too old to have a diary, especially a stupid one filled with my sexcapades. So what if I finally had great sex? It shouldn’t count. Still beyond angry at Blake, I rip out every page in the book, beginning with the first one after I lost my virginity to Sean. I tear each page into a million tiny pieces before dumping them and what’s left of the book into the trash can.
About that time, there’s a soft knock on my bedroom door, followed by, “Caroline, are you okay?”
I cannot deal with her right now. The only person I wanted to talk to was Gwen, who escaped the tense environment of our house by Ubering out of here at sunrise to head to her hometown that’s an hour away.
Getting up from the bed, I go yank the door open and tell Maddie, “I’m fine and I’m leaving tomorrow, so you can have my room back.”
“Cool, I was just making sure you’re okay…after everything that happened earlier with Blake.”
“I’m. Fine,” I repeat slowly.
“You sure? You smell like beer, sex, and regret. He used you. That can’t feel good.”
“Haven’t you heard about my reputation from Mercy?” I ask her. “I’m a slut who screws everyone, so it’s really not a big deal. It was Blake’s birthday, we got high on gummies together, and then fucked because it felt good.”
“Well, if you need someone to talk to, I’m here. I have some experience with doing things I regret.”
“Yeah, I don’t doubt it,” I tell her before I slam the door in her face.
It’s a bitch move, but right now I feel like I’m the lowest I’ve ever been in my life and don’t know what the fuck to do about it.
One thing is for certain – I can’t tell my parents I’m failing, not with Miss Perfect around. Tomorrow, I’ll just have to go back to school and try to salvage what I can of the rest of the semester.
Chapter 11
Blake
November
I have one hell of a black eye by the time Monday morning rolls around and it’s back to school. As if I wasn’t humiliated enough, now everyone probably knows that one of my best friends kicked my ass because I slept with his sister. What they hopefully don’t know is that he fucked my mom first.
The whispers and shit in the halls don’t bother me nearly as much as my conscience.
I feel like a total dick because Aric probably told Caroline that I hooked up with her just to get back at him. But I didn’t. I had no clue she was back home or coming to my party before she showed up in my room. And I never thought she would want me like that.
Still, I don’t regret what we did. How could I when I loved every fucking second I was with her?
Fuck Aric.
I don’t care if he doesn’t approve, but I do want a chance to explain everything to Caroline.
There was no way I could show up at the Princes’ house and talk to her over the weekend without getting arrested, so now I need to find someone else who knows her phone number.
A flash of blonde hair on a tiny, peppy girl hurries past me on the way to second period, so I slam my locker and rush to catch up with her.
“Sophie!” I call out as I weave around our classmates to try and catch up with my next-door neighbor. I swear her shoulders tense up under her white dress shirt when she must have heard me calling her, but she doesn’t slow down. Instead, she speeds up and even slips into Mrs. Adam’s Spanish class without turning around. That doesn’t deter me. I have at least sixty seconds before the bell rings, and a tardy would be well worth it if she can help me.
“Hey, Sophie,” I say out of breath when I take the seat in front of her desk and turn around to face her.
“What’s up, Blake?” she asks, avoiding my eyes.
“You were at my party Friday, weren’t you?” I ask her.
“Yeah. Everyone was. Why?” she replies, sounding a little bit defensive for some reason.
“So, you probably heard about me and, ah, Caroline.”
“Oh! Right. You and Caroline. I did hear about that,” Sophie says with a grin, finally meeting my gaze with her dark brown eyes filled with humor. “I also heard Aric went apeshit on you and can see from your face that was true. Hate I missed that.”
“Yeah, hate you missed it,” I mutter. “Anyway, you and Caroline cheered together the last few years, right?”
“Yep.”
“So, do you by chance have her phone number?”
“I do,” she answers with a nod of her head.
“So? Will you give it to me?” I snap.
“That depends,” she says, tapping the top of her pen to her lips. “Why do you want it?”
“Why do you think? To explain and apologize to her,” I answer.
> “In that case, I guess I can hand it over.” Lowering her voice, she adds, “Just as long as you don’t tell her or Aric where you got it.”
“Deal,” I tell her as I get to my feet. “Text it to me?” I ask when the bell rings and I have to get my ass moving to AP English. I take her nod as her agreement before I sprint down the hallway and up the stairs to the second floor. By the time I take my seat in class, my phone is buzzing in my pocket with what I hope is Caroline’s number. And thankfully, Mr. Reed is still playing around on his computer, so he doesn’t even notice I’m late.
Since I have a few minutes, I save Caroline’s number in my contacts and then start typing out a text message.
The problem is, I can’t for the life of me figure out what the hell to say to her. The things I need to tell her would be better with a face-to-face conversation. But that’s not an option, and I want to say something to her.
I type and delete at least a hundred messages before I eventually send her: I’m sorry about what happened Friday and I never meant for Aric to find out. If I could go back and do it all over, there’s only one thing I would change – I would make damn sure my door was locked. That’s it, though. Nothing else.
The rest of the morning courses pass in a blur. And then there’s lunch.
It’s hard to tell if Aric is pouting or if his lip is still swollen from where I hit it. I’ve got my own battle scars; and while Aric may be bigger than me, I’m not scared of him. He may want to hit me a few more times, but he’s not stupid enough to lose his cool at school. I don’t think so anyway.
Which is why I take my chances and try to explain shit to him around Royal, Hannah and Maddie, who are sitting between me and Aric with all of us facing the rest of the tables in the cafeteria. I don’t have to look at the rest of the senior class to know that they’re all staring at us, waiting for the drama to unfold.
“I’m not a complete asshole,” I tell him along with everyone else. “I didn’t plan on fucking your sister. It just happened.”
“That is so not the way to go about apologizing,” Royal mutters.
Maddie says something to Aric that I can’t hear, and then she turns to me and says, “Nice try, but we all saw the text message.”
“What text message?” I ask.
“The one you sent Aric, inviting him over at the exact time you were getting busy with Caroline!” she responds with a shake of her head.
“I didn’t send him any text messages!” I say.
“You did. I guess you were too high or drunk to remember,” Maddie responds.
“It doesn’t matter!” Royal exclaims. “What’s done is done. An eye for an eye and all that shit. Can’t you two just get over yourselves already?”
“No,” I huff at the same time Aric responds with, “No fucking way.”
“This is our senior year,” Royal points out, looking between the two of us. “In a few months, we’ll all go our separate ways after being friends since we were old enough to walk! Both of you made bad decisions, and both of you have to get the hell over having your feelings hurt or whatever.”
“It’s not my feelings I’m pissed off about,” Aric says when he stands up and glares down at me. “Caroline didn’t do shit to you! You had no right to use her to get back at me!”
“So, I should’ve fucked your mom instead?” I ask which I know right away was the wrong thing to say.
“Stop it!” Maddie exclaims as she jumps up out of her seat. “Both of you need to learn to keep it in your pants! Are you even now? No, and you never will be even if you keep attacking each other over and over again. So, why don’t the two of you just cool it until you can speak aloud without being a total dick?”
“Agreed,” Royal mumbles when he gets up too. “I’m tired of being in the middle of your fucking drama.” With that, he leaves, followed by Maddie and even Hannah, who barely says a word to anyone.
And I know that they’re right. I can either keep holding on to my grudge with Aric, or I can try and make peace with my longtime best friend.
So, I give it a try.
“My mom hit on Royal,” I tell Aric, who retakes his seat at our table. “So, if you hadn’t slept with her, someone else my age probably would have eventually.”
“I wasn’t just sleeping with her,” Aric grumbles. “I cared about Collette. No, I wasn’t in love with her or whatever, but it wasn’t just sex.”
I’m not sure if hearing that makes it better or worse.
“I know you won’t believe me, but I swear to god I don’t remember texting you to come over Friday. I had no idea Caroline was even in town until she showed up in my room.”
“Right,” he drawls. “You’re totally innocent in all of this. My sister just happened to show up in your room and get naked? You had to have drugged her or something!”
“Ah, yeah, that’s pretty much what did happen, except she drugged me. She gave me the cannabis gummies for my birthday, and we shared them. I didn’t touch her until she started taking my clothes off…”
“Just shut up!” Aric says. “Whatever happened Friday night was still fucked up. What you did, man, it was just wrong.”
“You’re an expert on doing the wrong thing,” I point out.
“Yeah, I am. But I didn’t do anything on purpose to hurt people.”
“Still, you hurt people, though.”
“So did you,” he huffs.
“Can we finally call a truce?” I ask, holding out my hand to him. “I won’t sleep with any more of your family members if you won’t sleep with mine.”
“I don’t know,” he mutters. “Your dad is pretty hot.”
“Oh, shut the hell up!” I say when I pull my hand away.
“I was joking. Obviously,” Aric tells me with a grin. “Truce?” He holds out his palm now, and I shake it. “You still owe my sister a fucking apology. Like a big one.”
“I know,” I agree. “I’m already working on it.”
Caroline
“Ugh!” I groan when I see the text message on my phone and slam it down on the library table, apparently a little too loudly based on the evil eye everyone gives us. Whispering to Gwen, I lean forward and tell her, “Can you believe Blake had the audacity to contact me this morning?”
“What did the only man who was good for you in the sack have to say?” Gwen asks with a smirk.
“A whole lot of bullshit,” I tell her. “Should I block his number? I should, shouldn’t I?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether or not you believe your brother over his friend. And then the most important part – on how good the sex was,” she replies. “What if you sleep with a hundred other guys and can’t get yours again?”
“That-that’s ridiculous,” I mutter. “He’s in high school and my brother’s best friend. Former best friend who I never should’ve messed around with! Blake was only out for revenge. I believe that. Besides, it had to have just been the gummies.”
“Ah, from my experience, the gummies take a few hours to kick in,” she tells me.
“What? No way. It was definitely the gummies. I wouldn’t have done that otherwise…”
“If you’re so sure about that, then block him,” she says.
I stare at the back of my phone for several long moments when I should be studying.
“Here,” Gwen huffs when she grabs my phone up. “I’ll do it for you.”
“Wait!” I say, jerking the device out of her hand and receiving more scowls from the people around us. Lowering my voice, I tell her, “I’ll just…wait a little while and see what else he says. Maybe he’ll even admit it was payback, and then I’ll know for sure.”
“Are you going to respond to him?” she asks.
“No. Of course not. I don’t have anything to say to him.”
“Nothing except to thank him again for the orgasms,” she whispers with a smile, to which I flip her off.
Chapter 12
Blake
Every day I text Caroline some version of an apology. I try a few different languages, saying I’m sorry in Spanish, French and Italian thanks to an online translator. Even though she doesn’t respond, I still keep sending a similar message every day for the next three weeks.
And then, on day twenty-two, I finally hear back from her.
Go to hell.
Her response is harsh, but I still have a stupid smile on my face all day long because she actually wrote something back to me, which means she’s reading my texts. And surprise, surprise, she hasn’t blocked me yet.
That’s why I don’t stop messaging her. I keep up my daily routine of apologizing. It’s the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning, before I even take a shower.
The next day, I’m surprised to get yet another reply. This one comes in even faster than the day before, within five minutes of mine. And the two words are even more messed up than her last insult.
Fuck off.
If she really wanted me to fuck off, would she have replied? I don’t think so. She doesn’t tell me to stop texting her, so I don’t.
Finding out what she’ll say each day becomes one of the only things I have to look forward to every day.
Without football practice, I don’t have shit to do in the afternoons. I just come home from school and hang out alone or with Royal, playing video games until we decide to go grab some dinner. Then, around midnight, I crash for the night, sometimes without ever hearing or seeing my dad.
Lately, he’s not even around in the mornings before I go to school either. I guess he must be crashing with friends or with random women. Either way, he’s constantly MIA.
And my mother? Well, her calls and texts are becoming more infrequent. What did I expect when I refused to answer her? She’s giving up, probably searching for her next boy toy or sugar daddy to mooch off of.