by Lane Hart
“Already?” Blake asks. “You just got here, and we haven’t even got naked yet.”
“Can you honestly say that you’re in the mood for sex tonight?”
“No, I guess not. That’s a first, right?” he says with a grin.
“Get some sleep,” I tell him when I start for the door.
“See you tomorrow?” Blake asks before I turn the doorknob.
“See you soon,” I reply instead of guaranteeing I’ll come over tomorrow.
Chapter 30
Blake
April
After Caroline turned me down three nights in a row last month, I finally got the message that she didn’t want to see me and stopped bothering her.
Thanks to the disappointment and depression that shit caused, I finally ended up giving Royal a break and accepted his apology for being a meddling dick. He looked so pathetic and miserable these last few weeks that I felt sorry for him. I know he was only trying to be a good friend that night, even if it backfired.
When I get an actual text from Caroline during lunch one day at school, I’m thrilled she is actually reaching out to me — until I read what she sent.
I’m going to meet with a potential couple tomorrow if you want to come.
“Fuck,” I mutter after reading the words.
“What?” Royal asks, cramming a fry into his mouth and leaning over to read the screen still in my hand.
“Caroline’s decided on potential parents for the adoption,” I tell him.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” he asks. “I thought you finally agreed that adoption was the best idea.”
“I did, but that doesn’t mean this shit is easy. I’m giving up my kid!”
“They look nice,” Aric says between bites of his sub.
“Caroline told you about them?” I ask.
“Yeah. Of course. Maddie and I have been helping her narrow families down. She’s decided to go with a couple that’s been trying to have a baby for ten years but can’t.”
“W-what do they do for a living?” I ask him.
“Ah, the dude is a police officer and the woman is a nurse.”
“Someone to protect the baby and take good care of it,” I say to myself. The two occupations are exactly what Caroline would want to ensure our kid is safe.
I should be happy that she’s found someone she approves of; but at the same time, it makes me feel…impotent and jealous. I want to be the man she thinks is good enough to protect and provide for our son or daughter, even if that’s an irrational thought. Just because I could be a father doesn’t mean I deserve the chance to be one at eighteen, right out of high school.
“You good?” Royal asks when he notices that I’ve been staring at the phone in my hand for who knows how long.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I lie as I type back a response to Caroline, telling her I want to go with her to the meeting.
Caroline
Ben and Kari Barton are one of the nicest, most adorable couples I’ve ever met. He serves the public as a Winston-Salem police officer while Kari is a pediatric nurse in the neo-natal center at our local children’s hospital. The two are high school sweethearts who got married when they were only twenty-two, excited to start a family right away. Only that family never happened, even after trying for ten years.
“We did everything under the sun to try and get pregnant, but it never took for more than a week,” Kari tells me and Blake at our meeting, her blue eyes glistening. She’s sitting across from us on the sofa with Ben, clasping his hand in hers, while Blake and I are sort of smushed together on a loveseat.
“And while we wanted to try invitro, it was just too expensive,” her husband Ben shares.
“We have plenty of money, though,” Kari quickly adds. “It just seemed like a waste to spend ten thousand dollars of our savings on a procedure that probably wouldn’t work either.”
“So last month we decided to give adoption a try,” Ben explains. “It took forever to get everything sorted out, but the same day our profile went up this week, you notified the agency that you wanted to meet us.”
“Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat or drink?” Kari asks. “We can give you a tour of the house now if you want?”
“I’m fine, thanks,” Blake responds, one of the first things he’s said since we got to their home and introduced ourselves.
“Me too,” I tell them. “And the tour isn’t necessary.”
“Oh,” Kari says, her shoulders slumping as she visibly deflates.
“It’s unnecessary because I’ve seen everything I need to see,” I explain. “I want you two to raise our baby.”
“You do?” Kari asks, slapping her palm over her mouth to hide her trembling chin.
“I’ve looked at your background checks and can tell you keep your house in immaculate condition. Both of your jobs are service-centered but with set schedules so that you’ll still have plenty of time with the baby.”
“We’ve been saving so that I can come out of work for the first few years, until he or she starts school,” Kari says. “Oh, are you sure?” she asks just as a tear overflows from her eyes and races down her cheek.
“I’m sure,” I say. Looking to Blake, I ask, “If you are?”
“Ah, yeah,” he replies and then clears his throat as he reaches over to give the top of my hand a squeeze where it rests on my thigh. “I want you to do whatever you think is best.”
“You two are just so cute together! Your baby is going to be so gorgeous!” Kari exclaims.
“Oh, ah, we’re not together,” I explain, removing my hand from underneath Blake’s. “That’s why we’ve decided on adoption.”
“Really?” Ben asks. “I thought you were just so young…”
“We are young; and while our families both have plenty of money, that doesn’t mean we’ll be the best parents for our baby,” I tell them. “Anyway,” I say on a sigh as I use the armrest to pull my fat ass up from the loveseat. “I guess we should get going.”
“Sure, sure. Could I-could I just give you a hug?” Kari asks.
“Ah, yeah, I guess,” I reply, and then she’s throwing her arms around my neck.
“Thank you. Thank you so, so much,” she whispers as she squeezes me and then finally lets go, mopping up the tears from her face with the back of her hands.
I’m on my way to the front door, when I hear Blake say, “Here. You should have this.”
Turning around, I watch as he hands over a piece of paper to Ben.
“This is…this is the baby?” Ben asks, and the brawny officer is blinking back tears.
“Yeah, that’s him. Or her. We don’t know yet. Caroline didn’t want to know,” Blake explains.
“So it’ll be a surprise,” Kari replies cheerfully with a bright smile as she claps her hands. “That will make it even more special.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Blake agrees before he joins me at the door, the Bartons following behind.
“Let us know if you need anything,” Kari says as we walk to Blake’s car.
“I will. Thank you,” I say with a final wave.
Blake opens the passenger door for me to climb in his car and then walks around and slips into the driver seat. Before he starts the engine, he looks at me and asks, “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes,” I answer without hesitation. “They’re the perfect couple. I don’t think we could make better parents from scratch even if we tried.”
“Yeah,” Blake mutters. “You’re right. They’re great.”
We pull away from the curb and start for the highway in silence. Finally, I ask him, “So did you accept at Duke?”
“Ah, not yet,” he responds. “I am, though. Soon.”
“Good. It’s already April. Most schools want a decision before May first.”
“I can’t believe it’s almost May,” Blake says with a shake of his head.
“Graduation will be here before you know it.”
“And prom,” he adds.
“Oh, right. Prom.” I swallow around the knot in my throat caused by the thought of Blake taking some girl to prom, which everyone knows almost always ends with sex at the end of the night.
“Will you go with me?” Blake asks while I’m trying not to barf at the idea of him and a hypothetical girl in a hotel room together.
“What? Go where?”
“Prom,” he says with a snicker.
“You want to go with me?” I say in disbelief.
“Yes. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because I’m enormous! I’m not even sure if they make dresses big enough to fit me.”
“You’re not that big,” he remarks. “Just your belly. It’s cute.”
“My ass is twice the size it used to be, and my boobs went up three sizes.”
“Neither of which is a bad thing,” Blake says with a grin. “Come on. Go with me. We’ll ride in a limo with Aric, Maddie, Royal and Sophie. You and Sophie are friends, right?”
“Yes, but…I’ve graduated, and I’m very, very pregnant.”
“Who cares? I don’t.”
“I’ll…think about it,” I finally hedge.
“Just say yes,” he huffs. “I won’t ask anything of you ever again, I swear. It’s just…I’m going to miss you after all this is over when you go back to Hawthorne and I go to Duke. Not that I want you to suffer or anything, but it hasn’t been all bad, right?”
“Yeah,” I agree as I stare out the window, watching other cars speed by. “It hasn’t been all bad, and I’ll…I think I’ll miss you when it’s over.”
“You will?” Blake asks, and I don’t have to see his face to know he’s grinning.
“I will.”
“Then say yes.”
It will suck having to go out in such a public place, especially with all the little judgmental bitches that go to Mercy, but I want to go with Blake to prom.
“Yes.”
“Yes?” Blake repeats. “Yes, you’ll go with me to prom?”
“Yes,” I reply. “Contingent on whether or not I can find a dress to fit over my bump,” I amend.
“Oh, we’ll find you a dress,” he says confidently.
Chapter 31
Blake
I’m outside my house washing my car just to give me something to do to take my mind off of the adoption and my senior year coming to an end when Aric comes strolling over from his house. I know I should be happy, but really I’m just depressed about the end. At least Caroline agreed to go to prom with me.
Oh shit! Is that why Aric is coming over here? Did she tell him about prom and that we were screwing around together a few months ago?
“Hey, man. You got a second?” Aric calls out, his voice calm and relaxed like he’s not on his way over here to choke me with my own garden hose.
“Yeah, what up?” I ask, tossing my cloth down on the pavement and drying my hands on the sides of my jeans.
“I just wanted to tell you that my parents dropped the charges against Collette,” he says, followed by a heavy sigh. “They knew the charges would probably get dismissed and did it to humiliate her. When I pointed out that people would eventually figure out it was me who she slept with, they asked the DA to throw it out.”
“Good. That’s good. Thanks,” I tell him. I may still hate my mother for sleeping with my friend, but I never wanted her embarrassed to the point she couldn’t go out in public or end up in jail.
“No problem,” he says. “If they had just told me, I would’ve talked them out of it to begin with.”
“Yeah,” I agree. Speaking of talking to Aric, before he can leave, I say, “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“What? Did you knock up one of my cousins too?” he jokes while crossing his arms over his puffed-up chest.
“No. But I did ask Caroline to go to prom with me, and she said yes.”
“Oh,” he says with a frown, brows furrowed.
“I should’ve asked you first, but I just blurted it out the other day after we met the adoptive parents.”
“No, yeah, it’s fine. Not like you can knock her up again on prom night,” he mutters.
“Listen, I was pretty certain I never texted you Halloween night, but Caroline said I did, so I thought maybe I did and forgot. The truth is, a few weeks back, Royal admitted to me that he sent the text and then deleted it from my phone. He also said he invited Caroline to the party and, ah, suggested she come up to my room. But he didn’t know I wouldn’t use protection or whatever.”
“So you didn’t sleep with her to get me back?” he asks.
“Hell no,” I answer honestly. “I would never do that to Caroline no matter how pissed I may have been at you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before now?” Aric questions me.
“I don’t know. I guess we just haven’t talked much. And I didn’t want you to be pissed at Royal. He’s fucked up enough as it is over everything.”
“Yeah,” he replies with a sigh.
“And he was just trying to be a good friend, helping me get over Maddie and finally lose my virginity to the hottest girl in town.”
“Ah!” Aric shouts as he slaps his hands over his ears. “That’s enough. Let’s never speak of that night again.”
“Okay,” I agree with a nod. When he removes his hands, I ask, “And you’re sure you’re okay with us going to prom together?”
“Sure,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. “It probably wouldn’t be right for you to go with anyone else when she’s, like, six or seven months pregnant with your kid.”
“I know,” I agree, because I wouldn’t have considered going with anyone else. There’s nobody else I want to spend such a memorable night with besides Caroline.
Caroline
“I need a dress,” I tell Maddie when I burst into the room she shares with her brother and sister on Saturday and find them all reading silently from the books in front of their faces. Maddie’s on the floor with her back to the foot of the bed. Matt is stretched out on his side in the bed, and little Mandy is curled up in the papasan chair with her teddy bear tucked under one arm. It’s a strange sight to see since most kids nowadays are like me and my brother, never spending a second of free time without some sort of electronic device in our hands.
“Um, okay. What kind?” Maddie asks, placing a bookmark in between the pages of Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander novel and sitting it down on the floor beside of her.
“One for prom…” I say softly so as to not interrupt her siblings.
“Really?” Maddie squeals, causing her brother and sister to both glare at her. “Yay! You’re going with Blake!” she says as she gets to her feet. We move into the hallway to talk, and then Maddie pulls the bedroom door shut behind her.
“It’s stupid isn’t it?” I ask. “I mean, I graduated last year, so I should be in college like everyone else I went to school with, except I’m pregnant and huge…” I add, placing my hands on my enormous bump that is now like a convenient tray for holding plates and other items when I’m sitting down.
“It’s not stupid,” Maddie huffs. “This is so great. We can all go together, and it’ll be so much fun!”
Our initial roles have clearly been reversed. Maddie now has the personality of a peppy cheerleader while I’m a depressed teenager who quickly goes from happy to crying in five seconds flat most days.
“Ooh, does Aric know? If so, he didn’t tell me!” Maddie whispers even though my brother is probably out running or lifting weights. He’s all about buffing up for the firefighter academy these days.
“I’m not sure. I haven’t told him, and he probably would’ve said something to me or you if Blake mentioned it,” I respond. “I should probably tell him before I buy a dress, right?”
“Nope,” Maddie pulls out her cell phone from her back pocket and then her fingers are flying over the keys on the screen. “I just told him. And…” she drawls when there’s an instant ding indicating a new incoming message. “He just found out from
Blake before he went to the gym.”
“Oh,” I say in surprise. “So, he’s okay with it?”
“Yep,” Maddie replies with a grin as she types something back to Aric.
“Now, let’s go find you a dress,” she says. Turning around, she opens the bedroom door and tells her brother and sister, “Be good for Mrs. Prince. I’m going out with Caroline. Either of you need anything?” I don’t hear the kids’ responses before Maddie shuts the door behind her, telling me, “Okay, let’s go.”
“You’re a really good big sister,” I tell her truthfully as my eyes begin to water. “They’re lucky…to…have you.”
“And cue the waterworks,” Maddie says with a roll of her eyes before she wraps her arm around me and guides me toward the stairs. “Come on, let’s go cheer you up with some retail therapy.”
Chapter 32
Blake
Since my father is actually home for once on a Saturday, I decide to try and broach the subject of college again when he’s sitting on the porch smoking a cigar and watching a baseball game.
“I’ve decided to go to Hawthorne,” I blurt out. “And I know you wanted me to go to Duke like you, but Hawthorne has a law school too, which is what I think I want to pursue.” There, I mixed bad news in with good, assuming he’ll be happy that I’ve decided on law.
“You’re going to Duke,” he says, barely sparing me a glance.
“No. I’m going to Hawthorne,” I reiterate. “Maybe we need to have your hearing checked.”
That finally has him glaring right at me. “I’m not paying for Hawthorne.”
“Fine, I’ll use money from my trust fund. There’s plenty of it.”
His jaw ticks, but he doesn’t respond to that, knowing that once I graduate high school, that money is legally mine to do whatever I want with it. My grandparents set it up with their attorneys, and he doesn’t have any control over it.