The Mercy Academy Box Set: A Complete High School Bully Romance Series

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The Mercy Academy Box Set: A Complete High School Bully Romance Series Page 52

by Lane Hart


  “It’s too bad you waited to tell me this now,” Hannah says as her lips press a damp kiss to my collarbone. “If I had known we only had a month together, I would’ve thrown the no sex rule out the window.”

  A low groan is all I’m capable of after hearing her say that. Still, in my head I know abstaining was the right call. If only the rest of my body agreed with me.

  “You would’ve just tried to fuck me right into a court martial for not reporting, until I regret having to leave you as much as you regret letting me be your first.”

  Hannah’s face finally pops up, her face still wet, eyes red and swollen from crying. “I told you I don’t regret that, and I never will!”

  “Sure you will, on your wedding night when you can’t help but think about me and you, wasting your first time with me instead of with your new husband…”

  Lowering her sad, hazel eyes to the collar of my shirt, she says, “Why couldn’t you and he be one in the same?”

  What the fuck?

  Why couldn’t you and he be one in the same?

  She doesn’t mean that. There’s no fucking way...

  “Because you would have to be fucking insane to want to marry me,” I quickly say before a thought suddenly hits me like a bolt of lightning. “Hold on. You’ve never been with anyone but me. Is that because, did you actually think…”

  “That you weren’t lying to me all along when we were silly, inexperienced teenagers, fooling around together at church camp? Maybe.”

  “Hannah,” I say on a sigh because I’m dumbstruck. After everything I put her through, she still agreed to give me a second chance this summer. Me, a dickhead who doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as someone as good as her. And then, just a few minutes ago, she screamed at me that she loved me, something she’s never said before. I don’t deserve her or her kindness and forgiveness, but I crave them. Now, though, I can’t lead her on or ask her to wait for me. It’s just…wrong and wouldn’t be fair to put her through that shit.

  “I’m sorry, baby, but that’s never gonna happen,” I say, even though the words burn my throat.

  Without responding, Hannah reaches over to open the passenger door. She climbs off of me and then walks around to sink down into the driver’s side seat again before pulling back onto the road.

  The rest of the hour drive home is silent other than her occasional sniffles that are like tiny daggers digging their way into my heart.

  Finally, all too soon, we’re pulling up in front of Blake’s house and it’s time for me to say goodbye.

  “Good luck at Madison,” I tell her, unsure what else there is to say other than I love her too and wish I wasn’t a complete fuck up who she should wait for.

  “Good luck with the army,” she replies blandly, keeping her eyes straight ahead without relaxing her white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel at ten and two, unwilling to look at me.

  “Can I kiss you goodbye?” I ask, and she briskly shakes her head no, another crushing blow that I swallow down like a razor blade.

  “Thank you for the summer. For everything,” I tell her since this may very well be the last time I ever see her. “For all of my firsts. I wouldn’t change them for anything in the world.”

  When she continues to ignore me, I reluctantly climb out of the car with my bag. As soon as the door shuts, she speeds off down the road.

  Well, that’s not how I thought the end of our summer would go. I thought Hannah would say that she understands why I’m leaving and that she’s proud of me. Honestly, I figured she would be glad to be rid of me.

  Instead, I think maybe she’s angry at me for not telling her my plans before now. I hate when she’s upset with me. It makes me feel like my body and soul is off kilter, unhinged and unbalanced, making it hard to take a deep breath. But it’s better this way. Having her hate me is better than having her love me and miss me, especially if something were to happen to me.

  As time goes by, I’m sure I’ll figure out a way to get back to normal. Hopefully.

  Shaking my head, I walk up to Blake’s house and ring the doorbell, ready to get another goodbye over with.

  Even though I know from his text messages that Caroline had their kid, it’s still mind-blowing when Blake opens the door, holding the baby on his shoulder.

  My best friend is a fucking father.

  “Whoa,” I say, nearly staggering back a step at the sight. Everything really has changed.

  “About time!” Blake says. “I texted you weeks ago and haven’t heard a peep!”

  “We’re not allowed to have cell phones at camp, so I just got your messages a few hours ago,” I explain to him as I stare at the kid. “You’re a dad…”

  “Yeah, I am,” he replies with a grin before he places a kiss on the top of the baby’s black head of hair that’s sticking up every which way. “His name is Price. You want to hold him?”

  “Ah, no. I’m good,” I say since I’m not in the right headspace to be responsible for something so fragile at the moment.

  “Well, come in at least and tell me about your summer,” he says. “Just keep it down. Caroline’s sleeping.”

  “Oh, she’s here too?” I ask in surprise when he shuts the front door and leads the way to the living room.

  “Yeah, we’re living here. Together.”

  “Like, together, together?”

  “Yeah. Together,” he confirms, grinning ear to ear. “I’ve decided to defer school for a year, you know, until he’s a little older so I can help Caroline. The nights are rough since he wakes up every two or three hours to eat.”

  “Wow, I don’t know what to say,” I tell him.

  “Enough about me. How did the summer go with Hannah?”

  “Ah, not as well as I had hoped,” I admit. “I know it’s a bad time, but I need to ask a favor.”

  “Sure, yeah, anything,” Blake agrees while he bounces the baby on his shoulder like he’s done it a million times.

  “Mind if I crash here on the sofa tonight? I hate to ask since you’ve got a full house and all…”

  “It’s fine, man. You know you can stay here anytime.”

  “It’s just for tonight,” I assure him. “Tomorrow I’m leaving.”

  “Leaving? You mean, like, going out of town or something?”

  “Yeah, I’m leaving town.”

  “Where are you headed? Vacation?” he asks.

  “I’m going to Fort Bragg,” I reply. “I enlisted in the army and report to bootcamp tomorrow.”

  “Hold on,” Blake says as he walks toward the kitchen with me following him. “Let me grab a cup of coffee. I think my sleep deprivation is making me hallucinate, because there’s no fucking way you just said you’re enlisting in the army.”

  “I am.”

  “Why? What the hell are you thinking?” he asks when he spins around in front of the kitchen counter.

  “You sound like Hannah!” I tell him. “I thought everyone would be happy for me now that I’m finally getting my shit together.”

  “Risking your life isn’t getting your shit together. It’s crazy.”

  “A lot of people join the military after high school, especially ones who can’t or don’t want to go to college.”

  “Here,” he says, handing the baby over to me and I have no choice but to take the bundle or drop him. “I need some time to wrap my head around this.”

  I awkwardly figure out how to cradle the kid while he makes an annoyed sound, but Blake doesn’t seem bothered by the fussing. He just makes a cup of coffee in silence, staring at the Keurig and waiting.

  “The army?” he eventually says again.

  “Yep, the army.” The kid settles down and blinks up at me a few times before his eyes close like he can’t fight sleep another second. And I have to admit, he’s sort of cute and smells good, like brand new hopes and dreams…

  “I can’t believe it,” Blake says. “Was this some spur-of-the-moment decision you made while you were drunk?”

 
; “No. I made this decision completely sober after thinking it over for a few weeks before I put it in writing.”

  “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  “Because I figured you would freak out and make a big deal about it. I didn’t want the last days of our senior year to be about me leaving or you and Aric trying to talk me out of it. Besides, you had enough shit to worry about.” I glance down at the sleeping baby again who seems surprisingly content in my arms.

  “You may not see Price again until he’s walking and talking. He’ll be getting ready to start school by the time you get discharged!”

  “That’s crazy but true I guess,” I agree. “But it’s still just four years.”

  “A lot can happen in a year,” he replies with a nod of his head at the kid. “So no telling what will happen in four.”

  “Yeah. I know,” I say on a sigh. “Hannah will have graduated from college and will probably be married by the time I get out.”

  “And you’re okay with that, her marrying someone else?” he asks.

  “I have to be.”

  “You have to be? Why is that? You don’t think she’ll wait around for you?”

  “Oh I know she would wait. That’s the problem. I don’t want her to wait around,” I explain.

  “So you didn’t ask her to wait?” he questions before taking a sip from his coffee mug, one that has #1 DAD written on it.

  “Of course not. I’m not that big of a dick.”

  “So then what was the whole point of spending weeks with her at some shitty camp where you can’t have a phone?”

  “I wanted to make amends, to leave without her hating me. Although, I think she may hate me again now for springing this on her. She cried the whole way home after I told her…”

  “Well, no shit! How did you think she would react?”

  “I didn’t think she would tell me she loved me or that I was breaking her heart.”

  “She said that?” he asks, brows lifted in surprise.

  “Yeah. Crazy, right?”

  “What’s crazy is that you’re just gonna up and leave her after dropping that bomb.”

  “What else could I have done? I have to leave,” I tell him. “And it really sucks, because she’s got this art thing tomorrow afternoon at Madison. I’m already missing shit and I haven’t left yet!”

  “Why can’t you go tomorrow?”

  “Because I have to report to bootcamp,” I remind him.

  “At a certain time? Don’t you think they could give you a break since you’re giving them four years of your life?”

  “I mean, I doubt it, but I guess I could ask.”

  “You should ask. And then you should pull your head out of your ass and figure out how to make things right with her before you go. Otherwise, I think you’ll always regret it.”

  “I can’t be that selfish.”

  “Sure you can,” he says. “And it’s not selfish if she feels the same way about you.”

  Later that night, as I laid awake on Blake’s couch, I replayed our conversation and then all the ones with Hannah over the last few weeks. And no matter how much I hate it, there’s one thing that stands out perfectly clear.

  I’m not ready to give her up either.

  Hannah’s the only person who has ever loved me unconditionally. No matter how big of a jackass I’ve been, she’s never hated me, or given up on me. I may still be young, but I’m old enough to know that kind of loyalty is rare and shouldn’t be taken for granted. Only an idiot would throw something so amazing away twice…

  Chapter 29

  Hannah

  “Congratulations, honey. We’re so proud of you,” my mom says as her and my dad give me a hug before the unveiling at the art museum.

  “It’s just one painting,” I remind them, unable to find more than a crumb of happiness today after Royal blew up everything yesterday. And a bad choice of words, because now I can’t help but worry about bombs and Royal colliding if he’s shipped out to a war zone…

  “Yes, but your painting was chosen out of thousands of other students,” my dad points out when he puts his arm around my shoulders and gives me a squeeze. “And that is something you should be proud of too. This is exciting! Your work will be hanging up for everyone to see.”

  “Ugh, that’s what I’m worried about,” I mutter. “What if everyone else thinks it sucks?”

  “I’ve seen it, and I know it doesn’t suck,” Mom assures me.

  “You’re not exactly an informed art critic,” I point out.

  “What’s with the Debbie Downer routine?” she asks. “You usually come back from camp more upbeat than this. Is everything okay?”

  No, nothing is okay, and it may never be okay again.

  “I’m fine. Just nervous,” I assure her. And great, now I’m lying to my parents. But it’s not like I can tell them about how I stupidly fell for the same boy who has broken my heart more times than I can count, only to be devastated once again.

  Thankfully, Maddie chooses the perfect time to appear as a distraction before I burst into tears.

  “Oh, thank goodness you’re here!” I say as I hurry over and throw my arms around her neck.

  “I wouldn’t miss it!” she says. “Aric would’ve come too, but he had to stay home with Mandy and Matt.”

  “No, that’s fine. It’s just nice to see a friendly face other than my parents. You’ll tell me the truth, right, if it sucks?”

  “It’s not going to suck,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “But I promise to be honest, okay?”

  “Thanks.”

  “So? Is there anything else you want to talk about? Like maybe camp? I thought you would call or come over yesterday to fill me in on all the details with Royal.”

  “Ah, not right now and maybe not ever,” I say, blinking away tears. “It’s a long story I can’t go into, but I’ll just say that we’re done and over.”

  “Yeah? That really sucks. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s fine. Please change the subject before I have a breakdown and the Madison art professors all think I’m nuts,” I whisper since they’re all here for the unveiling.

  “Can I have everyone’s attention?” Jill Walters, the head of the art department, says, which means it’s showtime. My stomach is in knots as she gives a brief introduction about the scholarship contest.

  And then, it’s time for the big reveal.

  “Without further ado, I present to you, Enraged, a painting by incoming freshman and our Betsy Bruce scholarship award recipient, Miss Hannah Morgan.”

  The white sheet is pulled from the canvas mounted on the wall, revealing the eyes of the boy who broke my heart for the final time. I thought he had hurt me the worst when he was angry, but it turns out it hurt even more when I thought he loved me.

  “Wow,” Maddie whispers. “Is that…that’s…”

  “Royal, yes,” I answer, having to look away from the wall.

  “It’s…”

  “It’s what? Tell me the truth,” I say as she keeps staring at the painting.

  “Beautiful,” Maddie says. “But angry. His eyes, they make you feel small, you know? Not because they’re so large, but because they’re so…intense. He may have caused you a lot of pain, but you still love him, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, that’s a pretty good way to describe how I felt when I painted it,” I reply, even though I may not have been fully aware of the emotions myself at the time, right after homecoming.

  “Holy shit!” someone with a masculine voice exclaims from across the room. At first, I think it must be someone who hates the painting, because even though the voice is familiar, it can’t be Royal. He said he was leaving today… “That’s me,” the same voice says, causing me to finally try and seek him out in the small crowd of mostly Madison staff and my extended family.

  And there he is, looking at the painting I did of his eyes with his jaw gaping.

  “What the heck is he doing here?” I ask aloud in shock.
>
  “Why wouldn’t he come?” Maddie asks.

  “Because he was supposed to report for bootcamp.”

  “Huh?”

  Before I can explain everything to her, Royal finally glances away from the wall and searches the crowd for me. When our eyes meet, a sob escapes my lips because he looks so confused and sad. And I can’t do this! I can’t say goodbye again. It’s too hard!

  “What are you doing here?” I ask as he comes closer.

  “I wasn’t sure,” Royal tells me when he’s standing in front of me. “I didn’t know what I was going to say before I got here, and…that’s me. You painted me?”

  “Yeah, I did. The night you came over, right after the homecoming dance.”

  “Oh. Well, it’s incredible. And I’m not just saying that because it’s you and it’s me,” he rambles. “What I mean is, I finally get it. I wasn’t sure how to say goodbye to you even though I thought about it for weeks. Now I do.”

  “You said goodbye yesterday,” I remind him.

  “Not the way I should have. I told you good luck at Madison, and I meant that; but I should’ve also said…marry me.”

  My heart is racing so fast and so loud that I couldn’t hear the last part he said clearly. “What was that?” I ask him.

  “Marry me. Now. Today,” Royal replies. “You said you loved me, and I’m convinced you must if you didn’t give up on me despite everything that happened the last two years...”

  I wait for him to say, “Just kidding!” or “Gotcha,” but he doesn’t say anything else. He just looks at me with those intense, whiskey-colored eyes, as if waiting for me to give him an answer, but he didn’t ask a question. Did he? I think it was more of a statement. A crazy statement, but still a statement about marriage.

  “Th-that’s crazy, Royal!” I tell him with a puff of laughter. “You said so yourself yesterday, remember?”

  “Why is it so crazy?” he asks. Stepping closer, he wraps his arms around my waist, and I melt into his familiar scent and body as he speaks next to my ear so that no one else can hear his words. “You wanted your husband to be your first, right? Marry me, and then I won’t have to ever worry about you regretting being with me years ago instead of waiting.”

 

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