Our Broken Love

by Terri Anne Browning

  Turning, we walked up the aisle together. The rest of the ceremony seemed to go by all too quickly, and then I was Mrs. Rhys Bradshaw. The kiss he gave me when the minister announced to the world that I was his wife was like nothing we had ever shared before. It was soft but full of everything we had both been holding inside during the years we had been apart. I melted into his arms and clung to him like a lifeline.

  It was only after Sophie began to tug on my dress that I realized we had been kissing for a while. Everyone was clapping and laughing good-naturedly. Rhys bent and picked up his youngest daughter, who kissed his cheek and hugged him tightly. “My girls,” he breathed into my ear as Lilli hugged me close and we were pronounced a family.

  As if on cue, a kick proved Rhys right. I grinned happily as I took his free hand and let him feel the life growing under my heart. I was nearly five months pregnant with twin girls, and Rhys was overjoyed.

  Lilli and Sophie seemed excited about becoming big sisters, but I worried about how they would handle so many changes in their lives so soon. We had sold my house back in Atlanta as well as Rhys’s house and bought a larger one just a few blocks from Christa and Ram’s. With the move, planning the wedding, and the news that there were going to be two more additions to our family, I couldn’t help but worry.

  But so far, they seemed to be doing well with everything. I was proud of Sophie for having accepted Rhys was her father without much drama. She was thrilled her best friend Lilli was really her sister, just as much as with the fact that the “giant” was her very own daddy.

  Christa and Ram stood to congratulate us, and I hugged her tightly for a moment. When we stepped back, there were tears in her brown eyes. “I am so happy for the both of you, Erin. And I know your father would have been over the moon to see you glowing like this.”

  “Thanks, Aunt Chris… And thank you for understanding.” I gave her another hug. She could have kicked up a real fuss when she found out about my affair with Rhys years ago. But as I had suspected, she had already figured out who Sophie’s father was long before I had come clean.

  “Darling, I love you.” She kissed my cheek and stepped back to let Ram embrace me.

  “Uncle Ram…” I began, and he shook his head, happy tears in his eyes.

  “I don’t think my newest daughter-in-law should be calling me uncle, Erin, my dear.” He kissed my cheek. “I couldn’t have been happier for Rhys to have picked you as his wife. It’s about time he finally got himself a good woman who loves him.”

  I gave him a watery smile. “Thank you,” I whispered. Being pregnant had definitely made me a watering can.

  My three cousins descended upon us, and I was enfolded in all three of their arms. Then Cammi was hugging me, and Bradley was “kissing the bride” while Rhys glowered.

  As soon as Bradley released me, I was pulled into the only arms I wanted to be in and kissed breathless. When I opened my eyes a few seconds later, I found him looking down at me with a serious look on his handsome face. “I love you, Mrs. Bradshaw.”

  “Always?”

  He dropped a kiss on the tip of my nose. “Forever.”

  Alexis

  All Rights Reserved © Anna Henson 2013/Terri Anne Browning 2017

  This is a work of fiction. Any characters, names, places or incidents are used solely as a fictitious nature based on the authors’ imagination. Any resemblance to or mention of persons, place, organizations, or other incidents are completely coincidental. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any other means without permission from the Publisher.

  A note from the author…

  This book was the second book I ever wrote under the Terri Anne Browning pen name. I wrote it before I wrote The Rocker Who Holds Me, but as you will see in the prologue, the story was already there. So in a way, Gabriella’s Lee-Lee was who everyone has to thank for there ever being a The Rocker…Series. I wrote this book thinking that, like everything else, it wouldn’t go far. In all honesty, it didn’t really. Not many of my readers even know that Alexis Moreitti even has a book.

  Table of Contents

  Alexis: One

  Alexis: Two

  Alexis: Three

  Alexis: Four

  Alexis: Five

  Alexis: Six

  Alexis: Seven

  Alexis: Eight

  Alexis: Nine

  Alexis: Ten

  Alexis: Eleven

  Alexis: Twelve

  Alexis: Thirteen

  Alexis: Fourteen

  Alexis: Fifteen

  Alexis: Sixteen

  Alexis: Seventeen

  Alexis: Eighteen

  Alexis: Nineteen

  Alexis: Twenty

  Alexis: Twenty-One

  Alexis: Twenty-Two

  Alexis: Twenty-Three

  Alexis: Twenty-Four

  Alexis: Twenty-Five

  Alexis: Epilogue

  one

  The chiming of her phone woke her. Without even opening her eyes, Alexis reached for it and hit snooze in the middle of the screen. She had nine minutes to just lie there before it went off again and she had to start her day.

  She felt bone tired even after sleeping for twelve hours straight. Her flight had been late getting in the night before because of bad weather back East, making the long flight from New York to LA agonizingly longer. By the time the plane had landed, her father had already been waiting for two hours, and had quickly bundled her up in the back of his SUV. Her stepmother had sat in the back with her as he had made the forty-five-minute trip back to his house into an hour and half long trip. He was like a brand new father with an infant in the back seat, the way he drove lately.

  Alexis hadn’t minded. She had mostly just wrapped the blanket around herself that her stepmother had offered and leaned her head against the other woman’s shoulder. As soon as her father had pulled into the driveway Alexis’s older brother had been there to lift her out of the back and had effortlessly carried her into the house and up the stairs to the room that had been hers when she was a little girl and would visit her father for holidays and summer vacations.

  She didn’t remember much else after that. Her stepmother, Melissa, had helped to undress her, but by that time Alexis had been already half asleep. Her alarm had already been set, mostly so that she could wake up in time to take her medications before starting her long day.

  With a soft moan, Alexis shifted. The pain in her back told her that it was past time getting to her meds, but still she avoided getting out of bed for a few more minutes. She had decided weeks ago that she wasn’t going to let her condition rule her. If nothing else she had learned that she was strong, a fighter.

  Even if that hadn’t always been the case…

  A new pain, this one of the emotional variety, tightened around her heart. Tears that she had to fight so hard to keep at bay more often than not burned her eyes and made her throat ache. She was nineteen years old but already she had lived a long life. Her biggest regret, out of the long list of big regrets that had accumulated over the past six months, was that she had let everyone she loved down.

  There was a soft tap on the door just before it opened a few inches and the light was switched on. Melissa stuck her head in, offering Alexis a small smile. Her eyes, the ones that Alexis’s father had fallen so deeply for ten years before, didn’t sparkle as they once had. Now there was a deep sadness that lurked deep in their sea green depths. Alexis swallowed hard, knowing that she had put that look in her stepmother’s eyes.

  “How are you feeling?” she asked when she saw that Alexis was awake. She stepped fully into the room, but left the door open.

  “Okay,” Alexis lied. She was exhausted, hurting, and an emotional wreck—but Melissa didn’t need be burdened with the truth of that.

  “Do you need help?” Melissa asked hesitantly. She knew that Alexis hated for others to treat her like a child, but she also knew that sometimes Alexis couldn’t so much as get out of bed on her o
wn some mornings.

  “Nah.” She sat up in bed, fighting the excruciating pain that raked her body with each move. She was always in pain, but mornings seemed to be the worst because she didn’t move as much while sleeping. Once she got up and started moving—and the meds kicked in—she would be able to mostly ignore the pain. “I was just enjoying a little bit of quiet time before the day started.”

  “I’ll get your medicine.” Melissa disappeared into the connecting bathroom and returned moments later with two prescription bottles and a glass of water.

  Alexis cursed her trembling fingers as she took the two tablets. She would have to be sure to get out of bed on time from now on, before the pain got this bad again. As it was, it would take the medication a good fifteen minutes before it would begin to ease her pain. Melissa seemed concerned. “Do you need a shot?”

  Alexis’s smile was just as shaky as her fingers had been. “No. I’ll be fine in a few minutes.”

  Melissa took the glass from her and sat it on the bedside table, while Alexis continued to sit there, fighting the pain that seemed to be eating her alive from the inside out. “I’m going to make coffee. Want some breakfast?”

  The mere thought of food made her stomach roil. She could only shake her head as she fought her gag reflex and prayed that what little was in her stomach would stay down. “Okay then. Call out if you need me.”

  Alexis sat there for several long minutes. Tears gathered in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. The nausea slowly faded, as did the harsher part of her pain. When she could move without crying out, she stood and moved toward her closet, using her nightstand and then the wall to assist her. After pulling her night gown over her head she reached for the first dress she came across and slipped it on. It was dark blue and fell to her knees.

  After she was dressed, she moved into the bathroom and frowned at herself. Six months ago she’d had long dark hair and a peaches and cream complexion. Now her hair was barely a few inches long and her skin was more gray than pale. Even her light brown eyes looked lifeless as if she had lost her very soul. She looked like what she was.

  An accident victim.

  They had told her she had been in a car crash. But she couldn’t remember it, nor the three months or so leading up to it. They told her … Well they had told her a lot of things. Things that hadn’t sounded like the person she thought she had been. Like that she’d had a blood alcohol content of twice the legal limit—and the fact that she was only nineteen and therefore not even legal to drink. Like the fact that she had scars on her inner thighs that suggested she had been cutting herself. Like the fact that she had…

  Alexis turned away from the mirror and that train of thought. The memories of what she had learned about herself in the months leading up to her accident weren’t pretty. But that particular memory was enough to send her over the edge.

  She washed her face, took care of a few other necessities and pulled on an old baseball cap. When she made it back into her bedroom she picked up her crutches, which wrapped around her forearms, and attempted to make her way downstairs. The stairs were rough going, but after several minutes she finally made it onto the first floor.

  She was sweating by the time she made it into the kitchen where she found her stepmother drinking a cup of strong smelling coffee. It was eight o’clock so her father had already gone to work, and her brother was probably at school. He was a third year med student and was top of his class. Up until recently he had been undecided what he was going to specialize in, but she had helped him out in that direction.

  Vince was going to be a neurosurgeon and specialize in head and spinal injuries. Already he had been accepted into a program where he could get some extensive training with some of the leading physicians around the world. He had met two of them six months ago thanks to her…

  “Want some coffee?” Melissa offered as she moved to the sink to rinse out her cup.

  “No thanks. Just some juice if you don’t care.” She carefully sat down at the table, her back throbbing. It didn’t bode well for the rest of the day.

  Melissa poured her a glass and sat it in front of her. “I was thinking we could turn the downstairs office into a room for you so that you don’t have to worry about the stairs. I know it doesn’t have a connecting bathroom, but it might be easier on you until you can get around a little better.”

  Alexis bit her lip. “I don’t want to make extra work for you, Lis. I’m already imposing on you enough.”

  Melissa gave her a hard look. “Stop it right there, young lady. You are not imposing on me or anyone else. You are the daughter of my heart and I will always do what I can to take care of you.” When Alexis’s lips quivered Melissa crouched down in front of her and clasped her hands. “Honey, I know it’s been a long, hard road. And it isn’t going to get much easier for a long time yet. But you have to stop trying to take the world on all by yourself.”

  A single tear escaped before she could stop it. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, something she had been saying quite a bit lately. Ever since she had woken up six months ago to find her father, mother, and stepmother standing over her sobbing.

  Melissa’s smile was both gentle and firm. “No tears right now, darling. Drink your juice and we can go.”

  two

  The UCLA Medical Center had everything that anyone would dare need. Alexis had several appointments to get through that day but they were all in the same area. First stop was the neurosurgeon, then on to the orthopedic surgeon, and the last stop was to the psychologist.

  As far as she had been told, which was all Alexis had to go on, she had been in an accident which had thrown her from the car. The driver, a girl Alexis didn’t even remember and had no clue as to why she had been with or even where they were going, had been killed on impact. Impact with a tractor-trailer on the interstate just outside of New York City. When Alexis was thrown, her pelvis had been crushed. Her spine was also damaged to the point that a steel rod had to be put in place. Which had led to months of physical therapy—with more to follow, she was sure.

  But there had also been some brain damage. Her deep limbic system, which was in the center of the brain and barely the size of a walnut had been slightly damaged. The DLS housed the hippocampus and the amygdala which stored some of the most emotional memories, whether they were positive or negative. Alexis could only assume that the three months leading up to the accident had been extremely emotional because she couldn’t remember anything from that time. Because of the brain damage, which was luckily contained to just her memories and not something as drastic as motor skills, she wasn’t likely to ever regain the memories from that brief period of time.

  Something that she was glad for. Because if just hearing about them from her family members was anything to go on then she didn’t want to remember!

  She spent twenty minutes with the neurosurgeon, before he told her that she was doing as well as expected considering the damage she had sustained. She didn’t have to see him as often as she did the orthopedic surgeon, who would be supervising her physical therapy. She dreaded that most of all, yet looked forward to it nonetheless. Already she had been through two months’ worth of the pain filled work to get back on her feet in New York. She had exceeded all expectations and had moved from a wheelchair, to a walker, to the forearm walking crutches that she now used to get around.

  Her last appointment was with the psychologist. Everyone—including herself—insisted that she had to get therapy. Whatever had been going on in her life leading up to the accident had to have been bad. It had completely changed her. Alexis had always been a good girl. She had been happy living with her mother and her grandfather in Connecticut, even if neither were home half the time. As a freshman at Yale she had been on the Presidential List.

  But when shown her grades for the last semester it appeared that she had been failing half her classes. Probably because, from the special note at the bottom of the note sent home to her mother, she hadn’t even shown
up half the time for the first semester of her sophomore year. That didn’t make sense at all. All her life, Alexis had excelled at school, always attended class even when she was sick.

  The drinking was worrisome, of course. But what had really bothered her father, mother, and stepmother, was the fact that she had obviously been cutting herself. What was so wrong with her life that she had cut herself—and deeply at that—repeatedly?

  Alexis sat in the doctor’s office, alone for the first time that day. Her therapy sessions with Dr. Reid were completely private. She had met him back in New York when her mother and father decided that it was better to get her away from whatever it was that could have caused her erratic behavior in the first place—whatever that might be. Dr. Reid was an older man, with a receding hair line and deep wrinkles around his grayish blue eyes and mouth. She couldn’t be sure if they were from smiling or frowning so much, perhaps even both, because he tended to do both while in her company the two times he had seen her back East.

  Now he was sitting in his chair while she had taken a place on the leather sofa across from him. He had one leg crossed over the other and an iPad on his lap, which he scribbled on every now and then with the soft padded pen. There was soft music playing in the background, classical. He had said that sometimes music could trigger memories, so he liked to play different music during his sessions. His iPod was on across the room at a docking station and he held the remote to switch songs from time to time.

  “Our last session back in New York you said that you were glad you couldn’t remember. I know that your parents have informed you about what was going on in your life at the time, but what if there was more to it? Do you wonder?”

  Alexis shrugged. “A little. I just can’t figure out what would make me act like that. It just isn’t me.”

  Dr. Reid nodded. “Yes, I have gathered that. I spoke with all the members of your immediate family. Your father, stepmother, and brother have told me that you were always so careful. Never broken any rules, never put a foot wrong. A perfect little girl. Almost too perfect. That is something that I think we should go into at a later time. Your grandfather, who I found spends more time working than at home, didn’t know too much about what was going on in your life other than the fact that he had gotten a call from the dean at Yale saying your grades had considerable dropped. Then there is your mother who informed me that because she has been flying back and forward from Milan and New York so much she hadn’t been able to confront you on what was going on in your life at the time…” he sighed heavily, “…but that she thought that you might have been seeing someone at the time. Someone who had meant quiet a lot to you, but that you hadn’t confided in her about it.”