Our Broken Love

by Terri Anne Browning

But by the next week, you were practically living with him. I could see that already you had given him your heart. And at the time I thought maybe he had feelings for you that went beyond just lust. He was possessive, but then again, he is Italian. We went out a few times and he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off you.

  One night at a club while you and I were dancing and he was keeping our table safe he nearly got arrested when some guy came up and put his hands on you, trying to get you to dance with him. I have never seen a man the size of Giordano move so quickly. But he was across that club in a heartbeat, and the guy with wondering hands was on his ass before you had even realized what was going on. It was scary and hot all at the same time. The next thing I knew, he had you out the door and I didn’t see you again for a week.

  He took you to Rome right before you were due to go back to Yale. You called me and texted me every day, so I know you guys didn’t do much more than explore your hotel room. By that time, I was sure that he loved you.

  When you got back you moved into his place in Connecticut. Nonno didn’t seem to notice as far as I could tell. And Aunt Carina was more often in Milan than not. So you didn’t introduce them to Jared. You started back to school and I started making plans for my tour, so we lost track for a few weeks.

  The next time I talked to you … You told me you had said ‘I love you’ to him. I was excited for you Lee-Lee. I’d thought by Christmas you two might even be engaged. But that didn’t turn out to be the case.

  I’m sorry Lee-Lee.

  A few weeks later you called me. Giordano was going to Italy. He had business to take care of, or at least that was the excuse he gave you. But you confided that you thought he was trying to get away from you. You were scared that he was tired of you. Two days after he left…

  Fuck, I’m so sorry Lee-Lee.

  He started appearing in tabloids with Monica. Those two were friends as far as I knew. Just friends, supposedly. But one tabloid reported them in some club all over each other. I just thought it was some kind of misunderstanding. I tried to make excuses for him, and I’m damn so sorry for that.

  A week after the club thing, their engagement was announced and they were showing up everywhere in Italy and London together. The rock on her finger was over the top, trashy really if you ask me. But you were a mess. I was on tour already and I wanted to come home to console you, but you wouldn’t let me—I should have done it anyway!

  The day his wedding announcements went out, you seemed to shatter. You called me, but I had misplaced my phone and it took me two days to find it. There were five messages on there from you. Lee-Lee, you were drunk and sobbing and I couldn’t make out half of what you said. I should have left the tour as soon as I heard them. Maybe I could have helped you.

  When I called you back after finding my phone and hearing those messages you talked me out of it though. You didn’t sound like my Lee-Lee. I thought you were drinking, but you assured me that you were alright.

  I guess, from what you told me, your accident happened not long after that. I got caught up in the tour—in the bullshit of the headlining bands I was touring with. Don’t ask. I’m not going to tell you about it right now. Not when we are talking about you and that bastard Giordano.

  Where was I?

  Okay, so Giordano and Monica were engaged for several months. It was almost as big a deal talking about their upcoming wedding as it was Prince William and Kate. I followed the stories about them in the classier papers, but only because it was hard not to. Everyone said they were so in love. A classic love story. Gag.

  The story took a wild turn around Valentine’s Day. Overnight Monica was on Ricco Giordano’s arm and not Jared’s. By the end of February, the ring on her dainty finger was replaced with a classier one. Everyone started calling her horrible names. Jared was played off as the heartbroken, jilted fiancé. I thought he was just getting his comeuppance for breaking your heart, Lee-Lee!

  I read that Monica and Ricco got married recently …

  nineteen

  Alexis sat with her head in her hands long after Gabriella finished speaking. Her heart felt on the verge of shattering. Maybe it already was.

  Jared had told her that she had dumped him.

  Lie!

  He had left her and started up a new relationship without even ending things between them first. She knew he would never have told her about all of those things her cousin had just filled her in on.

  She had been in love with him. had given him everything that she was. But he hadn’t loved her back. And now…

  Now he was on the rebound after having his heart broken by his ex-fiancé.

  “Lee-Lee?” Gabriella asked quietly.

  Slowly she raised her head. The clock beside her bed said that it was after two in the morning. She hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before because of Jared’s lovemaking. She was exhausted, more mentally than physically, but her body was ready to shut down so that her emotions could take over.

  Yet she still had to face Gabriella. There were still things she had to tell her. “Gabs.” She cleared her throat and tried again when her voice broke. “I left some things out earlier. Some things that I have to tell you.”

  Gabriella paled even more. “Bad things?”

  Alexis closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes,” she whispered.

  ***

  Her phone was still off, so it was the pounding on her bedroom door just after seven that woke her, quickly followed by Vince sticking his head around to see if she was still sleeping. “You up? Melissa made breakfast.”

  Alexis grimaced, her stomach not in the best shape for food. She and Gabriella hadn’t fallen asleep until after four. They had curled up and held each other while tears still dried on their faces. But now she was alone in bed.

  “Where’s Gabriella?” she asked around a yawn.

  “Downstairs eating all the pancakes,” Vince told her with a grin. “For someone so little that girl can put some food away.”

  She laughed, but it sounded thick with all the emotions still swirling around in her head and heart. “Yeah, I know. Okay, I’ll be down in a few.” She reached for her crutches and headed for the bathroom as soon as the door was closed. After a quick trip to the bathroom to wash the sleep from her face and then changed her clothes, she made her way downstairs.

  Melissa was seated at the kitchen table with Vince and Gabriella when she entered. Her stepmother gave her a warm, welcoming smile as she took a seat between her brother and cousin. “How about a trip to the salon today, Lex?”

  She had been thinking about doing something with her hair for a while, but kept putting it off. “Sure, it sounds like a plan. Gabs?”

  “I would love to, but unfortunately I have a few things to take care of. My manager wants me to meet him for lunch.” She grimaced. “He wants to talk me into recording a few songs on OtherWorld’s new album. I’m seriously thinking about it, and have a few songs I’ve been working on. But he doesn’t have to know that yet.”

  “Do you need a ride?” Melissa offered as she began to clear away the table of empty platters.

  “Take my car,” Alexis offered. “It’s just sitting out in the garage getting dusty.”

  “Okay, thanks,” Gabriella grinned but it didn’t completely reach her eyes. “I promise not to take it to Mexico.”

  She laughed. “It has OnStar so I can easily find you if you take off. I’m not sure where the keys are … Lis?”

  Melissa pulled open a drawer and scooped up a set of keys. She tossed them to Gabriella who easily caught them. “Call if you need anything, Gabriella. But there is GPS in case you get lost.”

  “Thanks, Melissa.” Gabriella stood. “I have a few things that need my attention before I meet my manager. Can we have dinner together tonight Lee-Lee? Somewhere that has good dessert?”

  “Sure.” Alexis blinked when her cousin hugged her tight before leaving the kitchen. It appeared that their late night talk had been rough on her. Alexis sighed, wondering if s
he should go see if Gabriella was alright.

  “It takes some time to deal with,” Melissa murmured as she retook her seat at the table. “Let her have a little time to get it straight in her head, Lex.”

  Alexis shook her head. “I think she might be blaming herself a little. Our talk last night wasn’t pretty.” It had been brutal, actually. What she had learned about herself was not in any way flattering. If anything, she had learned that she’d become a weak person that had been broken by a man who obviously hadn’t loved her.

  “I know, sweetheart.” Melissa reached over and squeezed her stepdaughter’s hand. “Just give her some time, okay?”

  Vince jumped up from the table, having finished his overflowing plate of pancakes and bacon. “I have to get to class. Want to ride with me, Lex?”

  She glanced at her watch and saw that it was just after eight. If she left now she would arrive early for her physical therapy, but she didn’t feel like waiting around at the house. “Yes, thanks.” She stood. “I’m having a massage today, Lis. So I won’t get out until twelve.” She reminded her stepmother as she followed her brother out.

  “Okay, sweetheart. I’ll make an appointment for us so that we can get our hair done. But first, we can have lunch. Will Jared be joining us?”

  Alexis stiffened as she reached the door her brother was holding open for her. “No, that’s over.”

  Melissa frowned. “But…”

  “See you at twelve,” Alexis told her, refusing to have that conversation right then. Or ever.

  “Lex, I thought you two were hitting it off really well.” Melissa followed them into the garage. “Did you two have an argument?”

  She sighed. “It’s complicated, Lis. I don’t want to discuss Jared Giordano right now. Okay?”

  The older woman’s frown only grew. “Is this about what your father said the other evening? He was just being a little over protective. He doesn’t really know what went on with Jared and Monica.”

  “Bye, Liss.” She couldn’t handle one more second of this conversation. Those names together in the same sentence just pushed to many emotional buttons.

  twenty

  She knew he was standing outside the door before she even opened it. It was as if she could sense his presence even through the wall of steel and stone that separated them. She stood there, frozen because she wasn’t sure how she was going to handle seeing him now that she knew…

  “Lexi?”

  She closed her eyes as Dragon Man came up behind her and reached for the knob of the door, thinking she needed help. “Wait,” she whispered and his fingers stilled, his expression concerned as he looked down at her.

  “You okay?”

  She sighed. “I just need a moment,” she mumbled, her eyes looking at the floor while she tried to get her heart to stop pounding, her breathing to even out. She had just had a massage that had relaxed the tense muscles of her back, but she felt like she’d just ran a marathon instead. Was this a panic attack? Was she going to freak out completely?

  “Lexi!” Chad pushed her into the chair beside the door and pressed her head down until it was between her knees. “Deep breaths, sweetheart. Deep breaths.”

  It was only then that she realized the world had narrowed and that she had been on the verge of passing out. As she sucked in deep, life giving breaths the anxiety slowly ebbed to be replaced by anger. She wasn’t sure who she was angrier at—him or herself.

  A bottle of cold water was thrust into her hands while a cool cloth was pressed to the back of her neck. “Just sit there for a minute, Lexi.” Chad’s deep voice was calm while her emotions threatened to consume her. “You’re okay. Just keep breathing.”

  She swallowed half the bottle of water before she was able to speak. Her pounding heart was back to normal and her breathing was steady, but she felt tired. Exhausted. Too many things were pressing into her from the emotional side and she was finding it harder and harder to function. Blinking back tears she found Chad crouched down before her, his eyes still full of concern.

  “Is there anyone you need me to call, Lexi?”

  Alexis grimaced. “No. I’m fine now. Thanks. I’ve just had a rough week.”

  His smile was kind and understanding. “You’re going to have times like this before you are walking on your own again, sweetheart. You’re going to have to stop bottling things in, though. Scream every now and then when you need to. That’s something that you should discuss with Dr. Reid. I think you should call him if not go over and see him.”

  Yeah, she was thinking the same thing. But first she had to face what was on the other side of the door. “Okay,” she said more to herself than to the man in front of her. “I’m ready.” He helped her to her feet and then stepped over to open the door for her. This time she let him turn the knob.

  Jared stood leaning against the opposite wall, arms crossed over his lean chest. Her heart contracted just looking at him. When he saw her, he smiled and she thought she was going to melt into a puddle at his feet. Her brain was screaming at her to walk away from this man who had already mangled her heart and destroyed her emotionally. While her heart was begging her to step forward, let him wrap his strong arms around her and plead with him to never let her go.

  “So, are you going over to see Dr. Reid?” Chad asked as he stepped out of the room behind her.

  She was thankful for his presence and the reminder that Dr. Reid was a good option right then. “Yes. I’m thinking that is the best thing right now.”

  “Good. It will be good for you. Want me to walk you over?” His eyes went to Jared still leaning against the wall. “Or…?”

  Jared stepped forward. “What’s up?”

  “Just something that I feel Lexi should take care of now rather than later,” Chad told him. “Lexi?”

  “I think I’ll be okay. Thanks Chad.” She gave him a reassuring smile and he squeezed her shoulder as he said goodbye and turned down the corridor.

  Jared’s arms wrapped around her waist and his head dropped to brush over her lips. She didn’t know what she should do, but her body took it out of her hands and melted against him. Her lips developed a mind of their own and kissed him back. “Your phone is off,” he murmured against her lips. “Please turn it back on. I have been going out of my mind because I couldn’t reach you.”

  She closed her eyes and leaned her head against his chest. “I had some things that required my full attention. My phone was distracting me.”

  “I felt like you were avoiding me…” He stepped back enough to look down at her. “I even called your stepmother and asked her if you were okay. She seemed distracted but assured me that you were alright.”

  Of course she would. Alexis had told her that her new relationship with Jared was over. Then to have the man call? Melissa was probably confused as hell.

  “Let’s get you over to this Dr. Reid then I want to take you home. I missed you so damn much last night, and all I want to do is fall asleep with you on the couch again.” He brushed a tender kiss over her forehead, so gentle it brought tears to her eyes. That’s when she realized that the bubble she had put around them was still intact.

  Thin as rice paper, but still there. Still protecting them.

  How could he treat her so tenderly and only feel lust for her? Maybe he did care about her. She wasn’t ready to give him up yet.

  Will I ever be?

  “I’ll just give Dr. Reid a call later,” she murmured, pulling him closer so she could snuggle against his chest. “Right now I just want to be with you.”

  Those arms tightened around her. “Come on then. Let’s feed you.”

  ***

  When they stepped out of the building Melissa was waiting for her in the SUV. She was frowning when she saw Alexis with Jared, but then a smile broke across her face and she seemed relieved.

  The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. Jared followed them to a small restaurant for lunch then waited patiently while they went to the salon and had their hair done.
S was still unsure what she could do with it, so she just had it trimmed a little so that she could style it for now. After they left the salon Jared took her back to his house where they fell asleep on the couch while watching the stock report.

  It was getting dark out when she opened her eyes, remembering her promise to have dinner with Gabriella. She knew her cousin was going to flip out when she told her what she had decided in regards to her relationship with Jared. But she also knew Gabriella would never condemn her for it.

  With a sigh, she grabbed her phone out off the table where she had put it earlier and turned it on. There were a handful of messages from Jared, both texts and voicemails. She ignored them as she pulled up Gabriella’s name and punched in a quick text. She had just hit send when strong arms pulled her down across a warm chest.

  “What are you doing?” he murmured, his lips teasing her ear.

  “Just texting Gabriella.”

  He grew very still under her. “Lexis…” His tone was shaky, as if he were actually scared of asking the question but even more terrified of the answers.

  “She arrived last night,” Alexis informed him, wanting to get it all out of the way quickly so that they could move on. “We talked until after four this morning.”

  His arms tightened around her until they were painful. “Please, just let me explain.”

  She raised her head. Those molasses eyes were troubled, fearful. “I don’t want to talk about it right now. Okay? For now, I want to pretend that we just met. Can we do that, Jared?”

  “For real? You want to start over?” He shook his head, unable to believe his ears. Could he possibly be that lucky? To have her know something of the truth and still allow him to be with her?

  “I can’t let you go,” she whispered, her eyes darkening with something he couldn’t decipher. “I thought I could. Convinced myself that I needed to this morning. But then I saw you and … I-I can’t. I’m not that strong.” She knew she wasn’t facing the situation full on, and that she was repressing a lot of emotions after last night. But for now—for a little while longer—she was going to hold onto him and what they had.