Our Broken Love

by Terri Anne Browning

  Simon’s grin only grew. “I’ll be gentle,” he promised with a smirk.

  I put the mouthpiece in and pulled my hair back into a tight ponytail before stepping onto the mat. We took up starting stances, and Gage blew a whistle.

  The first time I brought the man to the mat, he let out a gasp—mostly because I had knocked the air out of him, but a little because I surprised the hell out of him. The five men surrounding the mats roared. All of them were surprised, even Stone who had already seen me in action with Biker One and Biker Two. The second time I took Simon down, he was still surprised, probably thinking I had merely gotten in a lucky shot.

  But by the time Gage blew the whistle again two minutes after our sparring had started, Simon was out of breath and had a different attitude about me as an opponent. I felt bad because Simon hadn’t really tried to fight back. Maybe because I hadn’t given him a chance or perhaps even because he was scared of what Stone would do to him.

  I turned toward Stone, and he stood with his arms crossed over his impressive chest. A smile teased at his lips, but his eyes were still hard. “You could have been hurt, Reese.”

  “I know how to take care of myself, Stone. A few bruises are nothing.” But I knew what he was talking about, what was really bothering him. I had seen enough MMA matches to know that the end result for either opponent was rarely pretty. Broken bones, swollen body parts, bleeding. I wrapped my arms around his waist, so comfortable with him already that touching him came as second nature, it seemed. “This is just for fun, Kieran. No one is going to hurt me. Are they?”

  “I’ll rip their fucking heads off if they tried,” he growled, but he pulled me close and dropped a soft kiss on my lips. “You were kick-ass, by the way. Simon is the smart one. Always keeps me on my toes. Gage is the brutal one, goes in full force.” He lowered his head, his breath tickling my ear and making me shiver in a very delicious way. “And I have never been more turned on in my life, baby,” he whispered.

  I blushed but was thrilled all the same.

  “My turn,” Gage called out. “I want a go at the hottie.”

  I felt Stone stiffen, and I stepped back enough to meet his eyes. “Trust me?”

  He let out a long sigh but nodded his head. “Have at him.”

  seven

  Work that night was quiet. Typical for a Tuesday. Bubba didn’t come in. He came in so regularly that I knew it was church night for his MC. Meaning he played poker with a few other overweight, somewhat tough guys who liked to drink and ride their Hogs. Bubba’s motorcycle club wasn’t nearly as scary as some of the others I had to deal with at times.

  The biggest part of the night—the best part of the night—was when Stone and his crew came in for a beer. They sat at the bar and talked to me, flirted, and were beyond surprised when they realized that I, the Goth girl with my white face makeup, black lipstick, and chic jet-black hair, was the same redhead “hottie” who had kicked two of their asses earlier in the day.

  They left about two hours after they arrived, with the reminder that I was to bring Maddox with me to spar the next afternoon. I had called him earlier that evening, and he had nearly burst my eardrum with his bellow of excitement when I had invited him along

  Stone brushed a gentle kiss across my lips before leaving, and I was sad to see him go. But it was eleven, and he was on his strict schedule. When he was gone, things returned to being quiet, and I was bored as hell. I scrubbed everything behind the bar, despite the vigorous cleaning Biker One and Biker Two had given it on Sunday while Safe Have had been closed. I already had the paperwork finished before last call came around, and I got home before my normal time.

  ***

  I met Maddox at the gym, and we entered together. As soon as Stone spotted me, he had me wrapped up in his arms. I squealed and hugged his neck tightly as he spun me around and around. I giggled, probably his intention. When I was on my feet again, he kissed me, this time with just a little more force than his normal, gentle kisses, but I welcomed it all the same.

  “I missed you,” he breathed at my ear, making me shiver deliciously.

  “Me too,” I whispered and watched those steel-gray eyes turn to gunmetal with need. His hold on me tightened for a second, but then the voices of his crew introducing themselves to Maddox forced him to release me, and I stepped back reluctantly.

  “So this is your instructor?” Stone shook Maddox’s hand. “You’ve trained her well. She can really handle herself. If the thought of it didn’t turn my stomach so much, I would say she had the potential to join the women’s division.”

  “No worries there,” I assured him with a grin. “I have never had such aspirations. Besides, kicking Gage’s and Simon’s asses yesterday was thrilling enough for me.”

  Gage muttered something under his breath, but one look from Kieran had him all smiles and nodding respectfully in my direction. Apparently, someone was a sore loser, especially when it came to losing to a girl. I shot him a grin and a wink, which had him smiling a little more naturally at me.

  When it was time for me to leave for work, Maddox, Mason, and Kieran were deep into practicing some of the moves Maddox was showing them. I felt a little lost when Kieran just waved at me when I said I was leaving, but I knew what he was doing was important and pushed down my hurt feelings.

  Jake walked me out. “Don’t mind Kieran. He gets a little one-tracked when it comes to this stuff. He’s obsessed. In an hour, he’ll realize he brushed you off and feel like shit. It happens all the time.”

  I stiffened, not because Jake scared me—because he didn’t anymore. But because his words made me feel the green monster of jealousy. I had never been jealous a day in my life, yet I had never had Kieran Stone in my life before, either. “This happens all the time?”

  Jake shrugged and opened the door for me. “He usually finds one groupie and invites them out to watch us spar. Never lets them spar with us before, but still.” He gave me a knowing grin. “And he always gets deep into practice, forgets about his girl, then feels like crap, and goes groveling.”

  I stood there staring at him for what felt like forever, but it was really only a few seconds. I couldn’t stop his words from echoing around in my head. My heart felt like it had lead weighing it down, and nausea churned hard in my stomach. I forced a smile to my lips. “Yeah, that’s me. His Phoenix groupie. See you around, Jake.”

  I turned without another word and walked to work in a trance.

  Once at Safe Haven, I put on my makeup, braided my hair, and put on my wig before going about my usual routine, opening the bar on autopilot. I had been so trusting, so open, so…everything I normally wasn’t, with Kieran Stone. And I was only his groupie. New city, new girlfriend. Nothing special.

  Just…nothing.

  When he had another fight in a few months, there would be someone new. Someone not me.

  I swallowed down the lump in my throat and forced down all the intense feelings that were eating me up inside. I put up the walls I had let Kieran tear down and was determined that neither he, nor anyone else, would ever get close enough to touch them again.

  ***

  “What’s wrong?”

  I turned to find Mel seated at the bar. She was dressed in a pretty sundress that really showed off the fact that she still had a smoking body. Her makeup was done, and her hair was styled, both things I had only seen her do the handful of times she had gone on a date. “Wow. Hot!” I gave her a small smile that felt tight and unnatural.

  “Thanks.” Mel was giving me an intense appraisal. “Something’s wrong. Are you all right?”

  I shrugged. “I just realized everything I had already known still stands. I can’t trust anyone but you.” To my surprise and horror, my bottom lip trembled, and I turned away to straighten a few liquor bottles that were already in perfect order.

  A warm hand grasped my wrist and tugged me around. Mel pulled me into a comforting hug, and I nearly lost what little hold I had on my emotions. “What happened?” />
  “Nothing.” I pulled back and forced a smile for her. “I just found out that Stone is like every other man in the world. I’m just his Phoenix groupie. When his fight is over, I will be yesterday’s news, and he will move on to the next city, the next groupie.”

  Mel’s concerned expression turned dark. “I’m sorry, Reese. I never should have encouraged him. He seemed different. I thought he was a good guy.”

  “Yeah, well, I guess he is a good guy.” I found myself defending him, because if anything, Kieran had been nice. “He’s just a player. But I’m not about to be played.” Even if I’d already been halfway there.

  “Do you have a date?” I asked after a minute, changing the subject. Anything to get my mind off Kieran Stone.

  Mel actually blushed. “Maybe. I wanted to talk to you about it first.”

  I frowned. Since when did she need my permission? “Why would you need to talk to me first?”

  “Okay, here it is. I called Greg Daventry to tell him that I was going to bring you with me to the MMA fight. We got to talking, and before I knew it, he was asking me out to dinner…” She trailed off when she noticed my wide-eyed expression. “What do you think?”

  I blinked, trying to get my head around everything she had said in just a few sentences. She had spoken to my grandfather. Apparently, he was in Phoenix, and now she was going out on a date with him—if I said it was all right? I sucked in a quick breath. “Is he coming here?” I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to see him now. Greg Daventry, on top of everything else that was going on inside of me at the moment? Yeah, I would be close to a meltdown, and it would not be pretty.

  She shook her head. “No. I told him I would meet him there. I figured you weren’t ready to see him yet.”

  “You figured right.” I sighed. “Go, Mel. Have a good time. If that’s possible.” The thought of Mel and Greg together disturbed me more than a little, but only in that Mel was a great person. Greg, well, I didn’t really know him well enough to judge what he was like. But I had this fear, a premonition perhaps, that he was going to hurt her. “Just don’t take him at face value, Mel.”

  She rolled her pale green eyes at that. “Sweetheart, I have seen it all in my life. Your grandfather isn’t going to be able to feed me a bunch of bull easily.” She gave me a gentle squeeze. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  After she left, the bar got busy. Wednesdays were hit or miss on the degree of how crazy things got. Tonight was a big hit, and I was kept pretty busy starting at eight thirty. Bubba came in and took up his usual place at the end of the bar. College kids came and went, emos and a few Goths came in to drink and play pool. Biker One sat down beside Bubba and ordered a beer, but I just gave him a nod as I placed his Irish brew in front of him.

  “Hey, hotness.” I glanced up from setting a fresh beer in front of Bubba to find Jake, Maddox, Mason, and the brothers seated at the other end of the bar. The group that had been seated there just a few moments earlier was now at a table in the back where Corbin and Kieran stood talking to the obvious fans. Kieran was grinning and shaking hands, while the men seemed in awe of the beast that was actually a man.

  As if sensing my gaze, he turned his head and gave me a smile. I ignored it and him as I went over to the rest of the crew. “What’s your poison?” I asked.

  Maddox gave me a strange look. “You look tense. Everything going okay this evening? Anyone been getting out of hand?”

  “Nope. How about a beer?” I offered, wanting to serve them and move on.

  “How about a few shots?” Jake suggested. “We just had a very successful afternoon thanks to your boy Maddox here, and we need to celebrate.”

  I lined up five shots of Patrón and then put a beer in front of each of them. “Let me know if you need anything else,” I told them and moved back down to the end of the bar where Bubba was talking to Biker One.

  “I apologize.”

  I frowned. Biker One had spoken as soon as I returned to his end of the bar. “Excuse me?”

  He blew out a long breath, which was not pleasant-smelling in the least. “I apologize for the way I behaved over the weekend.”

  I shrugged. “Okay.”

  “Okay? That’s it? No lectures? No making me grovel or some such bullshit?” He seemed shocked, and that made me smile a little.

  “Yes. No lectures. No grudges. I’m the bartender, the law, the judge, and the jury here. But I am not your mother, wife, or whatever. You get out of line, I kick your ass, and you don’t get out of line again. It is just that simple. Ask Bubba.” I nodded my head in the other biker’s direction.

  “Don’t mess with Goth Girl.” Bubba saluted me with his beer and took a pull from the longneck. “Only, I forget sometimes. But she is kind enough to remind me.” He chuckled. “And she is why I don’t go anywhere but to Safe Haven.”

  “Good answer, Bubba.” I put a fresh beer in front of him. “This one is on me.”

  eight

  Ten minutes after Stone and his crew arrived with Maddox, I ventured back over to their end of the bar. They had been drinking their beers and having a good time, but I had mostly ignored them. Even when they had tried to call me over to talk them, I started up a conversation with Biker One and Bubba instead.

  Now their beers were all gone, and I had no choice but to get them fresh ones. I set five beers down without really looking at them. It wasn’t that I was angry with them, just self-conscious. Apparently, to them, I was just some girl their boss and friend was having a good time with until he moved on to the next city. I didn’t like nor want the groupie label. “Anything else?” I asked.

  “Are you mad at us?” Mason asked, looking concerned. I wasn’t angry at him, Jake, or any of the others. They had nothing to do with what was going on between Kieran and me. I just couldn’t bring myself to be a part of their little group, hurting the way I was.

  “No.”

  “Then what’s with the cold shoulder, hotness?” Jake asked, his tattooed head wrinkling with his frown. “Don’t you want to play with us anymore?” He gave me a little pout I was sure other females would have found panty-meltingly sexy.

  “No,” I told him honestly. “Not even a little. Do you need anything else?” I asked again.

  “Hey, baby.” Kieran leaned against the bar between Jake and Maddox, having left Corbin to the fans at the table in the back. He gave me that smile of his again, that “I’m a nice guy, I’ll never break your heart” smile.

  I gave him a cool look in return. “Want a beer?”

  The smile disappeared, replaced by a frown. “No. I want to know what’s wrong.” His tone was concerned, his gaze penetrating.

  I shrugged. “Let’s just say that I’m one groupie who doesn’t want to play the game any longer.” I pushed away from the bar. “If you don’t want a beer, or anything else, I need to get back to the customers who are drinking.”

  I heard Jake groan as I walked away. A heated argument ensued behind me, low, hard voices, a few brutal swears, but I tuned them out as I mixed drinks. I glanced over once and found everyone but Kieran gone. He just sat at the bar, watching me. I ignored him. Even though my heart cried out to go to him, I stayed away. If someone wanted a drink, they realized soon enough that by going to his end of the bar they were out of luck.

  Eleven o’clock came and went. But Stone remained even though he had a strict schedule. He didn’t try to talk to me, nor did he order anything to drink. He just sat there, patient and never tiring. I felt his eyes following me, caressing me. A few times, I was tempted to kick him out, but I knew that would be useless. He wouldn’t go, and I didn’t have the energy to tangle with him physically tonight.

  Bubba and Biker One eventually left, leaving large tips. Not for the first time, I wondered how Bubba could afford to drink at Safe Haven so often and leave me such nice tips. Last call found the place nearly dead, and then the bouncers were showing the last of the hangers-on out. And still, Kieran Stone remained.

  I cleaned up be
hind the bar, washed the last of the glasses, and started counting my drawer. When I was finally finished with everything else, I grabbed my gym bag, and he followed me to the door. I locked up and walked away.

  “You are not a groupie!” he finally exploded, following me.

  I kept walking.

  “Reese, please stop and talk to me.” His deep voice was imploring. “I know Jake made you think that I’m just playing around with you. He’s a dick, and the only reason I keep him around is because he is the best promoter out there.”

  Nothing he said made me want to turn around. But the sound of his voice—that deep, dark, enticing voice made me ache. I refused to be drawn in again, however, and kept walking.

  “Yes, I invite a few fans to come and watch us spar from time to time. Yes, those fans are usually female. And sometimes I…” He broke off and muttered a few curses. “But that isn’t the case with you, damn it! I care about you, Reese.”

  Those last five words hurt more than anything. To me, now that I was onto his games, they were just lines. I closed my eyes, squeezing back tears. I swallowed around the lump in my throat and continued on. When I reached my apartment, I unlocked the door and slammed it behind me, locking it before dropping down onto the sofa, not even bothering to turn on a light.

  His fist hit the door. “Reese!”

  I just sat there in the dark. He could have knocked the door down if he wanted to, but I somehow knew he wouldn’t go that far. He didn’t want to scare me. Instead, he stood on the other side and kept talking. “You are special to me, Reese. You make me feel things I have never felt before in my life. Never! I want to be with you, I want to hold you. Please, baby. Please just open the door.”

  A tear slipped from my eye, and I sat numb and alone. Eventually, he quit pounding, quit talking. I must have fallen asleep sitting up because the next thing I knew, morning light was peeking at me through my living room window. I felt empty, my heart ached, and my head was throbbing. That muscle that had been dormant and then had come alive when Kieran came into my life, hurt in a way I couldn’t even begin to explain.