Monster Problems 2: Down for the Count

by R. L. Ullman

  “I thought so,” Dr. Renfield says. “Mr. Murray, you will be our first volunteer.”

  “Um, volunteer for what?” I ask.

  “For hypnosis, of course,” Dr. Renfield says, as he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a gold pendulum. It’s circular in shape and hanging from a gold chain. “If you were listening, you would have learned that this is my primary method for uncovering the motivations of monsters.”

  “And what exactly does that mean?” I ask.

  “There is nothing to fear,” Dr. Renfield says. “Hypnosis is simply a technique that will put you in a very relaxed state of mind—a trance if you will—allowing you to reach a heightened state of awareness. How does that sound?”

  “Weird,” I answer, as the class laughs.

  “Now, as I understand it, Mr. Murray, you are a vampire, a rare sub-species not seen for quite a long time. In fact, as far as I am aware, no psychologist has ever hypnotized a vampire before. This will be a first in the field of monster psychology.”

  “Um, okay,” I say, not sure how to respond. But he seems rather excited.

  “Now,” Dr. Renfield says, swinging the pendulum in front of my face. “Try to relax as we begin.”

  “Um, hang on a sec,” I say, swallowing hard. “Is this really a good idea?”

  “I think it is an excellent idea,” Dr. Renfield says. “Unless, of course, you are afraid?”

  The class giggles again, and I look out at all of the faces staring at me. That’s when Harpoon mouths more chicken noises.

  “N-No,” I say. “I’m not afraid. I’m good.”

  “I thought you would be,” Dr. Renfield says. “After all, vampires are notorious for their courage. Now, I want you to relax and stare at the pendulum.”

  My eyes follow the gold pendulum as it swings back and forth from his fingers in a slow, regular rhythm. I don’t know what he’s getting at but I might as well play along. I’m sure this hypnotism thing only works in the movies.

  “Notice how the pendulum moves as you breathe slowly,” Dr. Renfield says. “And as you continue to watch, you may notice your eyelids becoming heavy as you start to relax.”

  Hmm, that’s funny. My eyelids are getting heavier. In fact, I’m having a hard time keeping them open.

  “You may notice as you continue to breathe you have the urge to blink,” Dr. Renfield says. “That is completely normal. But, if you are ready, go ahead and close your eyes fully.”

  As my lids press down, I realize that even if I wanted to open my eyes, I couldn’t.

  In fact, I can’t move a muscle.

  “And as you continue to relax and breathe,” Dr. Renfield says soothingly, “we shall begin…”

  ***

  “… now wide awake,” comes a voice.

  SNAP!

  My eyes pop open and I’m totally disoriented.

  Where am I?

  Then, as my vision readjusts, I realize I’m standing in front of the entire class! And they’re all staring at me with big, goofy smiles on their faces. Suddenly, I feel my face go flush—or, at least as flush as it can go given my pale complexion.

  What’s going on? Why are they looking at me?

  “How do you feel?” comes a voice to my right, surprising me.

  I turn to find Dr. Renfield standing next to me. In his hand is that gold pendulum. Then, it dawns on me. He just hypnotized me!

  “How do you feel, Mr. Murray?” Dr. Renfield repeats.

  “Um, okay,” I lie, crossing my arms. Truthfully, I feel kind of exposed right now. I mean, I don’t remember anything just happened.

  Just then, the bell RINGS.

  Class is over.

  As I’m still standing there, all of the students jump up in unison and begin to file past me and out the door.

  “Well, that was… interesting,” Hairball says, giving me a wink.

  “You’ve got some pretty serious issues,” I hear InvisiBill say. “You may want to see somebody about that.”

  “Wow,” is all Stanphibian offers.

  Now, panic sets in. I mean, what just happened?

  What did he ask me?

  What did I say?

  Then, I see Aura with her eyebrows raised. Uh-oh.

  “Were you really hypnotized?” she asks. “You weren’t pretending, were you?”

  “No,” I say, exhaling. “Why, how bad was it?”

  “Not too bad,” she says. “Don’t listen to those idiots. They’re just messing with you. Dr. Renfield only asked you simple questions. Like, what’s your favorite food and what’s your greatest fear.”

  “Wait, he asked me that?” I say, more panic setting in. I can’t imagine how I answered that one. Hopefully, I didn’t say clowns. Boy, do I hate clowns. Okay, I need to stay calm. “Um, so, what did I say?”

  “Count Dracula,” she says. “But don’t worry. Pretty much everyone knew that already. I think it’s pretty obvious given present circumstances.”

  “Yeah,” I say, a little freaked out that I told everyone my greatest fear is the one person I’m destined to destroy.

  “I wouldn’t worry about it,” she says. “Dr. Renfield was just demonstrating how the power of hypnosis can dig deep into the monster mind. It was actually really interesting. You just went along with whatever he asked you to do. Who knew that hypnosis was such a powerful tool?”

  “Well, isn’t that just wonderful,” I say, rubbing my head. “But I think I’m done volunteering for a while. I’m really not the Guinea pig-type. I’m just glad I didn’t make too much of a fool of myself. Right?”

  “Nope,” she says. “You’ve pretty much done that already. See ya around.”

  Then, she smiles and phases through the wall.

  Right.

  I’m the last kid in the room, so I go back to my desk to grab my stuff when I hear—

  “How are you feeling, Mr. Murray?”

  I freeze. It’s Renfield.

  “Oh, great,” I say, lying through my teeth. “I’m fine. Well, I don’t want to be late for my next class, so…”

  “If you would allow me just one more moment, Mr. Murray,” Dr. Renfield says, approaching me.

  “Um, okay,” I say reluctantly.

  He stops in front of me and smiles.

  “As I mentioned earlier,” he says, “No psychologist has ever had the pleasure of delving into the mind of a vampire before. But it seems that fate has shined on both of us, because here we are, together at the famed Van Helsing Academy. Me, the world’s leading monster psychologist, and you, one of the world’s last remaining vampires. Wouldn’t you agree that this is the opportunity of a lifetime?”

  “Well, no,” I say. “Not really.”

  “Together,” he continues, “we can make scientific history. With just a few more sessions, we could easily reveal the inner workings of the vampire mind. Imagine the groundbreaking papers we could publish. Imagine the accolades we would receive.”

  “Wait,” I say. “Are you asking to hypnotize me again? Like, a lot of times?”

  “Oh, yes,” he says. “I imagine the experience was painless for you, wasn’t it? We would only need a few more sessions to do this properly. Of course, I would compile all of the findings and write all of the papers. You just need to show up.”

  Okay, this guy is totally nuts.

  I know one thing; I’m not getting hypnotized again. Like, never again in my whole entire life. I’ve got to get out of here.

  “Oh, that sounds like a really generous offer,” I say. “But I have to be honest. I’m really not interested. You see, I’ve got all of these other commitments, like class, and homework, and trying not to make a fool of myself everywhere I go. So, I’ve really got to run along now.”

  “Are you sure?” he asks.

  “Yeah,” I say. “I’m sure. Rock solid sure.”

  “Oh,” he says, disappointed. “Of course. Perhaps we can revisit this topic at another time.”

  “Great,” I say, moving around him for the d
oor.

  “Oh, one more thing Mr. Murray,” Dr. Renfield says.

  “Yeah?” I say, turning in the doorframe.

  “You may experience some… lingering dizziness from the hypnosis,” he says. “But don’t worry, it’s completely normal and you’ll be just fine.”

  “Oh, okay,” I say. “Thanks for letting me know.”

  Then, I take off as fast as I can.

  FEVER DREAMS

  We got quite a surprise before lights out.

  There I was, brushing my teeth and thinking about my super-strange encounter with Dr. Renfield, when Hairball barges through the bathroom door.

  “Come downstairs,” he says. “Van Helsing is back and wants to see us in the foyer.”

  I rinse quickly and spit. Van Helsing is back? And he’s here in the Monster House foyer? I don’t think I’ve ever seen Van Helsing in Monster House before. And since he was just out visiting Moreau labs, he must be here on serious business.

  For a split second I debate getting dressed but given the seriousness of the situation I prioritize speed over style and book it downstairs in my pajamas.

  When I reach the bottom, I find I’m not the only one. Hairball and Stanphibian are in their pj’s too, while who knows what InvisiBill is wearing. Of course, Aura is a ghost, so she’s always dressed the same.

  And, just as Hairball promised, Van Helsing is here waiting for us, but he’s not alone. Crawler, Professor Morris, and Rage are with him too.

  Boy, it’s great to see Rage on his feet again, and he’s wearing a small bandage over the spot where he got injured. He smiles when he sees me but based on the gloomy expressions on the adults’ faces, it’s clear they’re not exactly here for a celebration.

  “Thank you all for joining me at this late hour,” Van Helsing says. “Based on your trip to Moreau Labs, your discovery of the ‘Cat-girl,’ as you call her, and your concern for the wellbeing of your colleague, Rage, who has made a full recovery, I thought it would be best to update you all on what we have discovered.”

  “About time,” InvisiBill says.

  “As you know, I returned to Moreau Labs with Crawler and Professor Morris to examine the site,” Van Helsing says. “The evidence we recovered is conclusive. Dr. Moreau is back in operation.”

  As soon as Van Helsing finishes his sentence, a chill runs down my spine.

  “I’m guessing that’s a bad thing,” InvisiBill says.

  “Yes,” Van Helsing says. “Very bad. You see, before he was pursued by the government, Dr. Moreau conducted horrific experiments, bending the laws of nature for his own devious purposes. In particular, he was known for transforming innocent people into terrors known as ‘Hybrids.’”

  “Hybrids?” Aura says. “What’s that?”

  “A Hybrid is a term used to describe the combination of a human with an animal,” Van Helsing says. “For example, a Goat-man or a—”

  “—Cat-girl?” I say, finishing his sentence.

  “Yes,” Van Helsing says. “Dr. Moreau created many of these Hybrid creatures. He claimed that he was doing it for the good of all—that he was creating a new species of mankind that could serve humanity—but his experiments never survived for long. When Dr. Moreau went underground, we thought we were finally free of his evil ways. But sadly, he has clearly returned.”

  I swallow hard.

  My thoughts go back to Tiger-boy and Cat-girl. Based on what Van Helsing is saying, who knows how long they’ll live? Tiger-boy looked sick, and Cat-girl is in pretty bad shape. Maybe she won’t make it.

  “I scanned the entire building with my DNA probe,” Professor Morris says, holding up a silver device that looks like an eggbeater. “There was no evidence of Moreau anywhere, except for on this.”

  As Professor Morris pulls out a piece of black cloth, my eyes go wide.

  “The Tiger-boy was wearing that,” I say. “It tore off his body when he jumped out the window.”

  “Well, guess what,” Professor Morris says. “It’s got Dr. Moreau’s fingerprints on it. A perfect match.”

  “Wow,” I say. “What about Cat-girl?”

  “Glad to see you’re thinking like a Supernatural crime scene investigator,” Professor Morris says. “Yes, she has the same prints on her clothing.”

  “Let’s go talk to her,” Aura says. “She has to know something.”

  “Unfortunately, she is still unconscious,” Van Helsing says. “We will speak with her when she comes to, but we must do so delicately as she will likely be in a state of shock. I know I have provided you with a lot of information, but I ask that you to keep it in confidence. Tonight, your only job is to take care of your friend, Rage. He has recovered well, but he’ll surely need your support.”

  “You can count on us,” I say. “He’s in good hands.”

  ​“I thought so,” Van Helsing says. “Now, good night, Monstrosities. Sleep well.”

  ​“You too,” Aura says.

  Van Helsing nods at me, and then exits, followed by Crawler and Professor Morris.

  “Are you okay?” I ask Rage, putting my hand on his shoulder.

  “Yeah,” he says. “I don’t know what happened. I was just overwhelmed by being back in that building. It was just weird. What do they call it when it feels like you’re reliving something you’ve experienced before?”

  “Doggie-doo?” InvisiBill says.

  “No, you moron,” Aura says. “It’s called déjà vu.”

  “Oh, right,” InvisiBill says. “Just kidding.”

  “Anyway,” I say. “It’s late. Maybe we should go upstairs and finish getting ready for bed.”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty tired,” Rage says, rubbing the bandage over his cut.

  Suddenly, I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. I mean, I nearly drank the poor guy’s blood. What kind of a teammate am I?

  “Let’s head up,” I say. “I’ll help you pull your stuff together so you can go right to sleep.”

  “Thanks,” Rage says, putting his arm around me. “You know, Bram, I’m lucky to have you as a friend.”

  ***

  I’m walking down a long, narrow hallway—except, it’s not a hallway at all—it’s a tunnel. It’s cold and musty, and as I walk, my arms brush against the rocky walls. Unlit torches hang from the wall every ten feet or so, but I don’t need them to see. Strangely, a dribbling sound echoes through the tunnel, like running water, but I don’t see a water source anywhere.

  Occasionally, I need to stoop beneath the low, uneven ceiling to continue on, and I suddenly feel claustrophobic. It feels like the tunnel is closing in on me.

  Inside, I feel a burning desire to turn around, but my feet keep moving forward, step by step along the craggy floor. My entire body feels… odd. It’s like I’m not in control of my own movements.

  I try calling for help. For Rage, or Aura, or Van Helsing, but my lips won’t form the words.

  Then, the tunnel bends.

  I follow it around, not that I have a choice. I’m like a passenger in an out-of-control car, but that car happens to be my own body.

  Then, I see it.

  The end of the tunnel, about twenty yards ahead.

  And flush against the rock wall is an iron vault door.

  Immediately, my alarm bells go off. There’s something strange about this door. I mean, I don’t know of any vault doors attached to rock walls. On the door itself is a small, round wheel that must be the locking mechanism. If I turn the wheel, the door will swing wide open.

  I have an overwhelming desire to head back, but I can’t. Instead, I walk over and stop in front of the door.

  Suddenly, I notice it’s deathly quiet. I don’t hear the sound of water anymore. In fact, all I hear is the pounding of my own heart.

  Then, there’s a FLAPPING noise.

  I don’t see anything flying around me. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d say that noise sounded like it came from the other side of the—

  “Will you open the door?” a male voice as
ks.

  I jump. Who was that?

  “Will you open the door?” he repeats.

  Okay, that definitely came from the other side of the door. And even though his voice sounded friendly, I feel like I’ve heard that deep, raspy tone before.

  “Who are you?” I say, finding my own voice again.

  “A friend,” he says. “Will you please open the door?”

  “No,” I say.

  “Very well,” he says. “Then I will have to do it myself.”

  Suddenly, my arms start moving towards the wheel.

  No!

  I focus everything I have on stopping myself, but my arms just won’t listen.

  What’s happening?

  “That’s it,” he says, his voice rising with excitement. “Just turn the wheel. Trust me, you won’t regret it.”

  No! I… won’t turn it! But despite my protests, my hands grip the cold, rusty wheel.

  “Very good, Bram,” he says. “Now just turn it.”

  I try screaming ‘NO,’ but instead I feel the corners of my mouth expanding upwards, getting itself ready to say the word ‘YES!’

  NO!

  NO!

  N—

  ***

  —O!”

  “Bram?”

  My eyes pop open, and I’m no longer standing in a tunnel, but rather sitting up in my own bed. My skin feels clammy and I’m covered in sweat. How did I get here?

  I lift my arms. They’re back in my control.

  “Bram?” comes Rage’s voice.

  Rage is standing next to me in his pajamas. What’s he doing out of bed? I mean, the last thing I remember was helping him get into his own bed. Then, I waited for him to fall asleep before I left the room to go for a walk.

  So, what am I doing in my bed?

  With my shoes on?

  “Bram?” Rage says again. “Are you okay? You look kind of freaked out. It sounded like you had a bad dream or something?”

  Was it a dream?

  I guess it could have been. But everything felt so… real? And who was behind that door? Who wanted me to open the door so badly? And more importantly, why?

  “Um, yeah,” I say, trying to act natural. For some reason, I feel like I shouldn’t tell him about it. “Every now and then I have this weird nightmare where I’m a bat being chased by baseballs. Don’t ask. Anyway, what are you doing up? I thought you were sound asleep?”