The rest of the day he struggled to turn his attention away from any thoughts outside from his normal duties, even though the memory of the recent reading kept coming back over and over again, disturbing his tranquility and shooting endless series of questions whose answers, although obvious, he did not dare to accept.
It was five o’clock when he stood up to leave office. He walked briskly to his car, eyes fixed straight ahead, ignoring those around him. He had an urgent need to move away from the corporation’s building. He was feeling deceived. The rigid mental discipline he obliged himself to observe and his many years of loyalty to the corporation seemed to him absolutely incongruous with what he had just found out. It was hard to accept that in a world where access to information was a universal and inalienable right, a senior executive like him had been systematically deceived without being ever assaulted by the slightest suspicion.
And the key word in his discontent was precisely “systematically,” which induced him to think that he, like so many millions of people, was living under a regime of control and exploitation. The conclusions to which his thoughts were leading him were becoming increasingly hard to deny.
He reached his car amid this mental turmoil, got in in a hurry, instructed it to take a two hour tour through the outskirts of the city, and flipped the communication system switch to privacy. He needed to meditate.
When he felt the vehicle moving, the rigid expression on his face began to relax until it became a blank stare that would only change now and then following his thoughts:
“I must calm down to let my ideas flow orderly,” he said to himself.
He took a deep breath, held the air in his lungs until having counted to ten, and then exhaled slowly through his half-closed lips. He repeated this exercise a few times, which helped him slow down the pace of his thoughts. Then he went on:
“I’m behaving like a madman, but I can’t remember feeling so angry in years. I guess I’m so concerned because it has been decades since we all began to trust the media, and to such a degree that the Internet faded away to be replaced by corporate information systems. We put ourselves in the hands of the leaders and now I find out that that they have been cheating on us. Just a few hours ago I was feeling an immensely fortunate man, but suddenly everything has fallen apart. All these years I have supported my self-esteem and my self-assurance in the role that I play for the corporation, but now, what should I do? I don’t know yet. I just know that I cannot see things the same way anymore. I have been awakened from a long slumber. I feel as if today was the first day of my life. I’m feeling naked before reality. Or perhaps there was that deep inside I always knew I was living deceived? I have erased my memory so many times already... And now I desperately need those memories. I will not use that damn thing anymore! And what about mental backups that the corporation stores so zealously? I’m scheduled for this week, but no more, I will not yield to that. I must plan how to escape from the system’s clutches, no matter what the price might be. But the first thing is to buy myself a little time, so I’ll delay this week’s session as much as possible ... Lucy! I must think about her. She is the only thing I refuse to sacrifice, but, how shall I tell her? How to convince her? Will she be willing to leave everything behind to follow me? Behind what? I don’t even have a plan. I need more information. Fortunately, now I have access to it. What an irony! My captor’s most precious treasure will be precisely what helps me to free myself from him. Tomorrow I’ll go back to work and devote all day to inspect restricted files so I can come out with a plan. I just hope Lucy will follow me! That’s all I ask!”
The expression on his face now was different. His eyes were sparkling again just as this morning, but for the opposite reasons. He deactivated the privacy mode of the communication system, which immediately showed a message from Lucy:
“Where have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you since 5:30. I want to know how your first day as a great character of the corporation was.”
The tour scheduled for the car was still far from completion when he changed the instructions to turn around bound for home. Then he replied the message:
“I’m on my way. Be with you in 40 minutes. We have much to talk about.”
When he stepped out of the car, his calm had returned. He could feel his feet firm on the ground while in his mind he was recapitulating the times when he had lost his peace in recent days. He realized that the turmoil of the past few hours was only a preamble of the uncertain adventures still to come. Then he savored in advance the victory he intended to obtain. At that point, everything had been turned into optimism.
Inside the house Lucy was waiting for him, dressed for a special occasion and sitting in the lobby near the front door.
She had spent her whole day planning it; after all, this celebration was worth it. How many times in life does one succeed just as her man had just done it? And this was success that she would also share.
This morning she had been asked to lead the reaction pro-integration group in which until this day she used to participate only once a week. She accepted the appointment without hesitation. Later, she received an invitation to meet in the near future with the group of elite executives’ wives, which would settle her as a member of this exclusive class. The future now promised her an improved lifestyle from which it was to be expected to get great satisfaction. Happiness was shining on her face.
“How was your day?” she asked as the door was open. “You will not believe it when I tell you,” he replied.
“I have so much to tell ...”
“You’ll have to tell me during dinner. I’m starving.”
They went into the dining room, where the table was elegantly settled. A tasteful tablecloth, lit candlesticks, fine crystal, silverware and china service. It was a time to celebrate.
Next to the table was standing an immaculately dressed waiter. He was guarding a dinner prepared by one of the best restaurants in the city, which had been waiting since a few minutes earlier for the arrival of the guest of honor.
At the sight of the stranger he decided to contain his impetuous desire to tell her about his day. He better let Lucy take the thread of the conversation.
As the service began the conversation went on:
“This morning I was appointed to lead the group.”
“Your Tuesdays group?”
“Yes, isn’t it great? Also, I received an invitation to meet the wives of your new coleagues. That will be Wednesday. I can hardly wait. It has caused me great excitement.”
“And, how is this reaction thing going? Are these groups really insignificant these days?”
“Yes. Thanks to the efforts of our association and of many similar others, the population of the few places that are still lagging is less than one percent of the planet’s population. It seems that we are getting a victory. I don’t know what will I do with my idle time when integration is complete, but I’m glad that we have helped so many people to find their best way.”
The light from the candles betrayed the sarcastic smile that his woman’s words had drown on his face. She felt puzzled, so she had to question him:
“What’s that smile for? Did I say something funny?”
“No. I just remembered some things at this time. It doesn’t matter.”
“And what about your day? Was it something special?”
“Not really. It was like any other, except that I received many compliments. Finally, it isn’t but work.”
After dinner the waiter served a round of liquor, then he said goodbye, leaving them alone at last. They moved to the living room to resume their conversation. This time he began:
“Today I got access to a large amount of highly classified information. As I began to browse on it, I discovered something that gave me a jolt.”
“You are supposed not to say anything about it to me, why are you doing it?” she replied.
“Because what I have to tell you will affect us both. Have you wondered why you or anyone
in your group has never been allowed to visit a settlement of the reaction? Why they allow you to interact only with those reaction members who have chosen to move to our side? Or even, why reaction is called so?”
“We have been told that these settlements are extremely remote and difficult to access, and not worth the effort to travel to them because people there are just waiting that we provide them the means to migrate to us.”
“What would you think if I told you right now that all this time they have been lying to you, and that the reaction actually is a significant percentage of the total population of this planet? What if I told you that their settlements are indeed numerous and are closer than you think, and that leaders not only know them perfectly, but also trade with them?”
“I would not believe it. For many years I have been aware of the statistics and I have collaborated with the integration. I cannot be wrong.”
“Well, what I’ve just told you is the truth. I checked it today. And for decades they have lied to me, to you, and to everyone else. And we’ve all heard these lies for so long that we have become used to believe them.”
“Why do you say all this to me? You know that now both of us will have to resort to the device to erase it from our memories. That’s not what I had planned for this evening, but now it’s unavoidable.”
Now the look on Lucy’s face was of disenchantment. Her voice had lost the joyful pitch of minutes earlier.
“As a matter of fact, there is a way to avoid it. Today I made a decision, one that will dramatically change our lives. Not only I will not use the device again, but I will flee from this system that for so many years has undermined my peace of mind, and seek shelter in some settlement of the reaction. I am convinced that I can prepare a successful escape plan now that so much information has become within my reach. But we must act immediately, because time is against us. I guess that our deadline is next Thursday, which is as long as I can delay my next mental backup session. After that day my life won’t be worth a dime if I fall into the hands of the corporation’s executioners.”
Lucy’s response was immediate. She rose from her chair to replicate with a high pitch:
“Never! Now that we have finally reached the top, you pretend to throw everything out of the window. Don’t you count with me. As far as it concerns me, this conversation never happened. I’m going to erase it from my memory right now, and if you know what’s good for you, you will do the same right away.”
She rushed towards the bedroom to use the isomentalizer and nothing could have stopped her. Her footsteps echoed in the stairway as she repeated again with a raised voice: “Never!”
“Strange,” he thought to himself, though showing no surprise, “the Lucy of twenty years ago would have followed me anywhere and under any circumstances. Now she is trapped in this system just as I was until this morning. However, my decision is final. I will not use the device again and will not remain as part of this huge lie. Lucy will not remember anything in the morning and I will not show the slightest sign of doubt. I have reached the point of no return. It has been more than five hours and the isomentalizer wouldn’t make a complete effect. Traces of my thoughts of this day will stay without remedy. The hardest part in all this will be bearing to lose her, but the harm is done already. She’s gone forever.”
It had been several hours and a number of drinks when he started towards the stairway. He was moving clumsily as he climbed the steps grabbing the railing. He shuffled forward to the bedroom to lie down on the bed without even taking his clothes off. It barely took him two minutes to plunge into a deep sleep.
4
“You too used the device last night?” Lucy asked as she poured hot black coffee in the jar held in her man’s trembling hand.
“Yes,” he lied, thinking how many years had passed since he hid from her the truth about any topic for the last time.
“I remember arranging a dinner to celebrate your promotion, and then going upstairs to get ready and await your arrival. The next thing that comes to my mind is the alarm clock this morning. Do you know what happened?”
“No. I’m just like you. I hope that at least it has been fun.”
Lucy drew a slight smile on her face before saying:
“You have always managed to be funny.”
He replied with a knowing grin and added:
“It’s easy to be funny with you.”
The rest of breakfast passed with the usual calm and relaxation. Lucy remembered nothing of what had happened the night before, and he was wondering if it was worth trying once again to convince her to flee with him. The way she had reacted to his proposal seemed final. Most likely, it would repeat if he made a new attempt. However, he granted himself this full day to decide about the matter. He might have better luck next time.
From nine in the morning until five in the afternoon he devoted to read and reread a lot of files. That was how his new view of the corporation got reinforced: greedy for power and control, and ready to manipulate all its members from the roots of their thoughts. The variety of methods that made up the repertoire of the Internal Security Central was amazing.
Among the lower levels of the corporate ladder, the existence of this central was merely a rumor, as many considered it as just one of many myths.
Although he had known since before about its existence, he had never suspected the diversity and the level of refinement of their procedures. He devoted special attention to the information on this armed force; after all, it would become the executioner of the autocratic leader’s justice once he had defected. The endless records documented the fates of thousands of dissidents who had failed to escape the dreaded corporation’s determination and had vanished from the scene leaving no traces.
The study of the real geography of the planet, not the official one, was a priority. He had to define within a very short time what would be his first destination, determine the best route to reach it, and find a way to ensure the supplies to make it there.
Taking advantage of the weekend to escape could win him some time, although that would mean to show at his office on Thursday. He needed to avoid the mental backup session scheduled for that day. Rescheduling it for the end of the day would be easy, but finding the right excuse not to show for it would be a major problem. Mental backups were one of the few obligations considered as sacred within the corporation. The ability to control everybody was based upon the information retrieved through them.
The plan should include Lucy. He was determined to convince her to go with him, but it should not depend on her participation, as it might happen that he failed to make her join him.
Amid this absorbing activity, the clock struck five in the afternoon. Corporate policies enforced leaving office at the end of each working day. Although he was allowed to stay in the building as long as he wanted to, this could attract the arrival of unwelcome visitors. He decided to leave like everyone else, overcoming his desire to continue his research.
While traveling home he focused on formulating an initial plan based on the knowledge acquired that day, so he could have a broader picture when convincing Lucy.
After dinner, when loafing in the living room to have a drink and a chat, he would try again to gain her consent. This time he was hoping to get a less visceral response from his woman, and so he started:
“Remember that this morning you asked me if I had any memory of what happened last night?”
“I remember it well.”
“Well, I must confess that I lied to you. I know exactly what happened, and I have chosen to keep this memory.”
The bewildered expression of his wife caused him to pause. He had to fix his gaze on hers to continue:
“After the great dinner you gave me, I confessed to you that yesterday I made a terrible mistake. This mistake was to peep into some confidential files of the corporation, where I found documented many actions that my personal morality cannot approve. As a result of my intrusion, I am suffering a serious crisi
s of conscience. I have chosen not to be more part of the game. From this moment I have become a dissident. The time I have left before my desertion becomes noticed, a desertion which I have committed already, is just until Thursday afternoon, when I must assist to my periodic mental backup session. The methods that the Internal Security Central usually applies in these cases, added to the personal style of the leader, make me think that my days as an executive are about to end. After next Thursday, the only chance that you and I will have to stay together will be fleeing to the territory controlled by the reaction, for which I have prepared a plan.
“Stop it! Say no more!” she angrily interrupted him. “Can’t you see that you are shattering my happiness? You did not consider me to make such a decision! After all this time, and when I have finally managed to achieve the lifestyle that I have longed for so many years, you tell me I have to give up everything. How much must I love you to give up my dreams only to follow you? I never thought you could be so selfish. If you have made a big mistake, you must find a solution by yourself. I am not hearing another word. I will respect the confidentiality of what you just told me, but I will not participate in your madness. I’ll erase my memory again, and please, tomorrow morning, when I ask if you remember what happened tonight, show me you still love me by lying again.”
Lucy did not wait for an answer. She stood up and walked to the bedroom, determined to eradicate from her memory all traces of this conversation, just like last night.
“At least this time I got a less violent response,” he thought, I still have one night to achieve it. I’ll try once more. I won’t lose her without giving a good a fight.”
On Wednesday, as the day before, he spent his whole day in the office studying the contents of as many records as he could, taking notes of every relevant fact as he found it. He opted to use a paper notebook, as he had learned from one of all those files that all electronic storage media were susceptible of being spied, and as a matter of fact, they were periodically inspected.
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