The better he was getting to known the corporation’s methods, the greater was his conviction that the struggle in which he had engaged by choice would be an unequal one. The records showed that every dissident that had been chased by the corporation’s agents had finally been caught. However, he trusted that this statistic, like many others, would turn out to be incorrect.
When the car was taking him home, his thoughts were focused on Lucy. He had to find a way to convince her. Speaking the truth had not worked in the past, so he was wondering if it would be right lying to her. He could make up a version of the story to make her feel as threatened as him. The odds of such a tactic to work were bigger; however, his ethics did not let him feel good about doing it. After all, he would be tricking her into a thorough transformation of her way of life.
At the end he decided to try again to convince her turning to the truth. During dinner and after it he looked for the words and the right time to address the issue, but he did not feel like doing it. In the end, this time he waited until both were in bed to get started:
“You know well that I have always loved you, that you hold the most important place in my life and that I could never do anything to hurt you,” he started.
“What’s with what you are telling me? Has something happened? You scare me.”
“Along the years you have seen that everything regarding your interests is above mine, and I repeat, now as ever, I could not live without you. You know, as I have said a thousand times, that I hope to spend the rest of time in your company because it is the only way that I can conceive happiness.”
“You make me nervous. Is there a problem? You know I will not abandon you. Tell me at once what’s wrong with you.”
“The glitter in your expression and the gorgeous mood that goes with it since a few days ago tell me that the events of last weekend have brought you a renewed joy. I can feel happiness in your life.”
“It’s true, I feel like I hadn’t since long time ago.”
“Well, what has made you so happy, has been a strong emotional meltdown to me. Right now I don’t feel capable of staying in the same path. I need to change course. I am carrying inside a strong whirlwind that is destroying me. If I continue in the same direction, I won’t have enough strength to endure.”
“I don’t understand. It hasn’t been a week since you reached an enviable position. Those who are at your level are no more than a handful. I thought you’d be as pleased as I am.”
“And indeed I was, until Monday around noon, when it was revealed to me a number of facts that until then I hadn’t noticed in spite of holding a senior position within the corporation.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I have come into irrefutable evidence that the corporation, and all others like it, have been manipulating us for years, deceiving us, and controlling us in every aspect of our lives from the very foundations of our thinking. It must suffice as a proof that I tell you that the reaction consists of a large number of settlements all across the globe. That corporations trade with them and support their existence because they need them. That the members of the reaction who seek to transgress the boundaries of our ordered world inevitably pay with their lives. That the same thing happens to any inhabitant of our bloc showing the slightest disagreement with the rules of corporations. That we lack of the fundamental right to think freely under penalty of losing our privileges, and that is why we have given up our quest to understand the truth in exchange for a secure life. That we have become used to suppress even the slightest idea that contradicts the standards set by the leaders and erase any record that this has arisen, and we do it systematically, as if indeed it were right that anyone but ourselves would govern over our minds. In short, that we have been enslaved in body and mind by choice, and yet so, we aim to turn into this regrettable condition of helplessness the few people who haven’t given up their freedom to be themselves. I have decided to flee and seek refuge in a world where I am granted the right to think freely and to dissent.”
When his speech reached this point, Lucy’s expression was of astonishment. There was a long silence that she finally broke.
“Are you saying me that we live an illusion? I can hardly believe it. We have a wonderful life. We do as we wish. We are respected and we do the same for others. We live in a beautiful community that accepts us and continually rewards us. We do not suffer any fear and in exchange the only price we are expected to pay is to show absolute loyalty, and yet, if at any time we become betrayed by our own thoughts, we have been provided the means to dispel any trace of having erred. I am happy as I am and all that you have told me has no meaning for me. I will not change my beautiful life for any other; I won’t even consider doing it. I think this is just a sign that so much pressure on your new responsibility has overcome you. I suggest you now we both vanish from our minds what we have just talked, and if tomorrow morning you find out that you have kept some trace of it, you know that you can get help in the clinics of the corporation. As for me, I’ve heard enough, so right now I’m ending this discussion. I love you and I’ll always be by your side. I’ll bear whatever it takes, but I’m not willing to change after so many years, not just to chase a fantasy that doesn’t promise anything good. Come on! Let’s get out of this right now! Please, do not make any nonsense.”
As soon as she finished her speech, she approached him to kiss his lips. Then she reached out for the isomentalizer’s tiara and added:
“Use it as soon as I’m finished. Please do it for me. And also do it for you. Don’t you threaten all the wonderful things have achieved after so many years of efforts just because you are suffering a slight crisis that perhaps isn’t even a crisis of conscience.”
He stayed sitting motionless and pensive for a long time. So many years of practice, of mental discipline, and of loyalty, could not be countered with a simple short speech, and as each day Lucy’s memories of what she had heard would disappear, her mind would be in the same state as before the first attempt. There was no way to reach the core of her understanding. Now his fear had become reality. He will have to leave behind the woman who had shared a lifetime with him.
5
The clock read 9:05 am that Monday. The last member of the elite group joining the urgently summoned assembly passed through the door of the meeting room for matters of high discretion, up on the 105th floor of the skyscraper. He hurried to his seat.
As the double door was closed, the man at the table head glanced around, checking in his mind that everybody was there. Only one seat remained free, right at the opposite end.
Nervousness was evident all around. It was easy to notice the empty seat. A deep silence in the place allowed listening even the slightest sounds produced by movements of the attendees.
The leader opened the session:
“Gentlemen, we have a dissident within our organization,” he started with the solemn tone characteristic to his speeches. You will notice that at this time he is absent. On Thursday afternoon he failed to show at his mental backup session. The protocol will be the usual one, with the sole exception that, because this time we are dealing with a member of the elite group, along with the elimination of the deserter we will immediately replace him. All procedures shall be punctiliously executed as stated in the manual. The Internal Security Central has started from Thursday night the routine suitable in these cases. The subject will be reinserted next week, as the reserve body won’t get to its maturity point until then. Pertinent information must be published in order to justify his absence during this week. No need to remind you that this is a matter of utmost priority. You should not circulate any information through the internal system nor discuss out of this room anything said about the case. We will conduct a follow up meeting every day of this week at four in the afternoon, starting today. This meeting has concluded.”
The leader stood up and left the room. The rest of the attendees did the same not breaking the silence. The clock on the back wall
did not read 9:10 yet.
At that same time Lucy was returning from her morning walk. This was her fourth day at the clinic and she was feeling great. So far she had been treated wonderfully. She had been told how her husband had stumbled and fallen down, ending with a fractured skull. She knew that while he was out of danger, some of his brain functions had become limited. The situation was not serious, but he should remain at this specialized clinic until modern medical techniques made him achieve a full recovery. At the same time, she should provide several mental backups to help rebuild the short-term memory loss of his partner.
She heeded the call without hesitation. She was happy to be of help on her husband’s recovery. She would go back home next Saturday and await the return of her man, scheduled for Sunday afternoon. By then he would be fully recovered from the mishap.
At the headquarters of the Internal Security Central the specialist on human source files reconstruction was working busily.
Modifying the information in a mental backup was a task bearing a high level of complexity. First of all, it was necessary to find the ideas that had overtaken the subject’s willpower and immediately neutralize them. This was, in itself, the most demanding portion of the procedure, and would take care of most of the available time. Then, essential memories had to be replanted to let the subject resume its activities, providing the missing history between the time of the most recently stored backup and the moment of replacement, plus the artificial memory of the alleged accident that would explain his absence to other people. The result should be a new version of the executive, this time fail proof, and it was mandatory that everything was ready by the following Friday. So was stated in the program made by the leader.
Inside a ruined chapel nestled in a distant forest, surrounded by high cliffs and deep gorges, the embers of the fire on which a coffee cup lay empty still smoked whimsically.
After speeding to the neighboring town, some 125 miles away from his own, this unlikely hermit left his car to take the bullet train to his next stop in a mining center.
According to his calculations, it would be by then when the alarm for his absence would be issued.
He had managed to get a three hour lead, which he had seized to put 250 miles of distance between himself and his pursuers .
He lost no time to walk across the the bustling station’s hall, hiding from the crowd that rushed to and from the platform.
On weekend afternoons, activity significantly increased at this place, making it easier to pass by unnoticed. This town’s trendy mine was owned by a rival corporation, so security personnel at this point would not receive the alert to look for him.
He exited the station and headed towards the outskirts of the village. He was dressing like a hiker, which prevented him from attracting people’s attention as he looked just like dozens of others who wandered the streets in that place. The route he had planned began at a path just at the end of the main street. He reached this point in a few minutes, and then he went on with a walk that would last all night long.
At the beginning he had to resort to a flashlight, but as soon as the moon appeared he no longer needed it. He turned it off to move with more discretion.
Dawn found him walking yet, still having a short length to go before arriving at his first stop; an old barn that long ago had been used for grain storage. Right then he was expecting to see it at any moment.
Under the twilight he approached the stream next to this long ago abandoned path. He got on his knees and sank his hands in the icy water for a drink. Memories of his early youth rushed through his mind; he used to spend weekends hunting, fishing and camping with his father in the countryside.
His face broke into a smile arisen by pleasant yesteryear memories. The chilling contact with water, now wetting his face, made his memories fade away just as they had come.
The thick forest echoed with birds’ warbling. A light mist lay everywhere, and the sky’s reddishness was quickly fading as the sun rose over the horizon.
As he resumed the walk, his boots rubbing the tall grass restarted the rhythmic soundtrack that had accompanied his way during the last two hours.
The feeling of having been set free that had filled him since the beginning of his journey, was only overshadowed by the uncertainty of events to come; however, fatigue was helping him to keep calm.
Fifteen minutes later, the place where he intended to make his first stop became within sight. He unconsciously sped up his pace. He urgently needed to rest.
The sudden loud sound of flapping gave him a fright when crossing the barn’s door. A flock of birds flew through the opening in the wall which had once been a window, kicking up dust and leaving behind a small cloud of feathers that swayed in the air to reach the ground. He planned to spend the day in this place and continue his journey at dusk.
He found a corner safe from peeping glances and lay down wrapped in his sleeping bag. His whole body was aching, so he had some trouble to relax; however, as he did he fell in a deep sleep.
He had to get recovered before the evening from the former night’s exercise, as it was essential to resume his path at dusk. His uncertain program forced him to increase by every possible minute his lead on his pursuers.
He had slept ten straight hours when sunset light passing through the cracks in the ceiling hurt his eyes, forcing him to wake up with a grin. He had been dreaming on Lucy and their most recent vacation trip. It took him a while to become aware of the situation he was in.
He stood up heavily. Previous hours’ fatigue had become now a general feeling of stiffness, which was making it hard to move. He had to make a great effort to start a calisthenics routine, stretching arms first and then legs, until the only discomfort left was the pricking feeling on his foot soles.
It took him three more days to get to the small chapel. During this time his path did not cross with that of any human being. A feeling of loneliness filled him now, taking the place of that of freedom of the first hours of his journey.
This morning he had woken up with a less aching body. While he was taking breakfast, in his mind he had finally understood why humans are so prone to sacrifice their personal calmness in exchange for company. He was feeling an urgency to meet with others of his kind. In the recent days he had only talked to himself. Now he was in the need of someone else to share the experiences he was living.
Fortunately, so far, he had managed to precisely follow the plan. He was on the edge of a territory inhabited by a large community of the reaction bloc. He just had ahead one more day to go, in which he should travel along the canyon that lied right in front of him. At its opposite end he expected to make contact with other human beings.
He suddenly changed his mind and decided to make the way in spite of daylight. After all, last night’s walk had lasted just a few hours. He put his belongings away and threw his backpack over his shoulder. This morning’s clouds, completely covering the sky, looked threatening. Rain could be a setback, however, the covered sky would let him travel protected from skin burning mountain sunlight.
He resumed his way along the steep descending path that connected the chapel with the creek down in the canyon. The soil was loose and at every step pebbles came off to tumble and push others in their way to the bottom of the cliff. He kept his descent hesitating, stepping on this uncertain ground, until the uneasiness caused by the continuous slips of his boots made him stop and sit down. His heart was beating wildly. All of a sudden he had been seized by an uncontrollable panic attack. Physical injuries and death itself were fears left far behind in his life, but now, the idea of hurting himself and end up abandoned amid the immense solitude of the forest had paralyzed. His mind had been invaded by doubts:
“Why am I here? How could I put myself in this situation? Hadn’t I a good life before leaving? What could have launched me into this adventure that now has me on the edge of danger? I cannot move, who will take me out of this place? My legs just don’t respond. I need to calm down. I a
m stranded. I must regain my ability to think. This is nothing more than a path that many others have traveled before me. If they could do it, I will make it too. Relax!”
For the next minutes he strove to regain self-control. His mental training had been aimed to suppress thoughts discordant with of his former employer’s philosophy, but controlling his response to a situation of danger was a very different issue. He had not been prepared for this.
One step at a time, he came back in control, until, first crawling and later standing up, he managed to get back on track. When he hit the bottom of the cliff his legs were trembling uncontrolled. He had to rest for a while.
He sat down under the shade of a tree and started a review of recent events while waiting for his systems to be released from the fear that had caught him. It was only a matter of time to feel relieved.
When he stood up again, his legs still responded clumsily. He had to walk for a while before everything had come back to normal.
He walked the rest of the morning along the course of the stream. The thrill of sensing the finish line’s proximity began to take hold of him, until it turned into an overwhelming feeling of joy. He went raising his pace until the effect of the slope made his her walk become into a trot. His sweat was flowing in streams from his forehead and temples to roll down his cheeks and drip to the ground.
He had to stop after a turn of the trail. The branches of a large bush were blocking his way. When he moved them apart he saw an immense valley that stretched beyond what the eye could reach. He was paralyzed by emotion. A slight sound came out from deep in his throat as the smile on his face grew and his eyes stared unblinking, as if he were absorbing the scene to let it completely take over him.
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