You’re Everything I Need: A Forbidden Romance
Page 9
The room falls into a heavy silence. All eyes fix on me. I see Lexi finally make eye contact, but the look that she gives me isn’t one of reassurance. She looks as freaked-out as me. It seems that she hasn’t got a clue what to do either which doesn’t help.
I suppose this is the moment where I need to do what I can to make it easier. I open up my lips, but I haven’t got a damn clue what the hell is going to come out.
“Actually, Aubrey has met Lexi before, but we didn’t realize how well we were connected then. It was just a chance meeting. Aubrey ran up to Lexi thinking she was… Nora.”
Nope, this isn’t working. I’m getting odder looks than ever. Shit.
“And you didn’t work it out from that? Lexi does look a lot like Nora.”
“I… I don’t know. I didn’t ask. It was all a bit… quick.”
“Oh, well I suppose this must be a bit weird, seeing each other again now.”
I look at Lexi, wondering if she wants to go further. Clearly, she hasn’t mentioned that she’s working for Ventry otherwise none of this would be happening right now, so I don’t know what she wants me to do.
“Erm, well I suppose there’s a little bit more to it than that….”
Oh God, how the fuck am I going to explain that one now?
14
Lexi
“Erm, yeah.” My heart thunders in my chest. This is not how I wanted this to come out. “I actually work for Cooper now. It was just on a trial basis so I didn’t want to say anything until it was permanent, but yeah.”
Mom looks between me and Cooper, confusion flooding her face. “So, you’ve been working for Cooper, the husband of Nora, and you didn’t tell any of us? Don’t you think that’s a bit weird?”
Fucking hell, it really is weird, the more I talk about it, the stranger it is.
“I don’t know, I’m just… I’m trying to make a fresh start here. I want it all to be right.”
“Right… okay. So, how is the job going? Are you doing well?”
“I think I am.” I giggle awkwardly. “You would have to ask Cooper about that one.”
“Oh yes, she’s doing an amazing job. The trial period is definitely over.”
“Good, good. Because I don’t know if you know this, but Lexi hasn’t ever really held a job down…”
“Thank you, Mom.” I jump in. “Cooper doesn’t need to know about that.”
“No, no, please tell me everything,” he laughs. “She’s been a good employee for me, but I’d love to learn more about her. Tell me about all the things that she used to do.”
“Oh well, before she moved away, she had a part-time job cleaning up in the hairdressers, but she ended up losing that job because they found her napping in the corner, clutching onto the mop like a teddy bear.”
“Oh, that is just hilarious.” He shakes his head laughing. “Tell me more.”
“And then there was the moment she was employed at the pet store. I thought she would enjoy it but…”
“Okay, that’s enough.” I jump up. “Let’s not make this any stranger than it already is. Shall we go out into the garden and talk about anything else other than me… is that possible, please?”
I need some fresh air and lots of it. This is so damn hard. I wish I’d known what I was getting myself into when Mom suggested that we go to Aunt Bessie’s. I assumed that it was only going to be a fleeting visit, I didn’t realize it was a big deal with Aubrey here. That will teach me to ask more God damn questions in future.
We all head out into the garden and I take a seat in the corner, hopefully able to get away from everyone. I need a moment to myself to gather up my very confused head. I feel like my brains are spilled all over the floor and I need to scoop them back up again. Catching my breath would be a very good start.
But of course, my mother is never going to let that happen. She looks like a feral dog with a bone and all she wants to do is chew and chew on it until there isn’t anything left.
“So, Lexi, do you want to tell me what the hell is going on here?”
“What do you mean?” I refuse to meet her eyes. “I’ve already told you, haven’t I?”
“There’s something very strange about this. I think I deserve an explanation.”
“What, Mom? What do you want to know?” Frustration bubbles through me. “I met Cooper by mistake in the park, I didn’t know him then and he told me that he was looking for someone to work for him.”
“That seems a bit random, doesn’t it?”
“Well, I was mentioning that I needed a job.”
“That seems like a longer meeting than you first made it out to be.”
“It was a little while, Mom. Aubrey, who I didn’t even know then, called me Mommy. That called for conversation. We talked about her for a moment then I said I need to leave for a job interview.”
“And he just offered you a job?”
“No, he said he was looking for someone if I wanted to come in for an interview.”
“So, you did, and he hired you even though you have least experience?”
“I don’t know why he hired me, Mom, he just did. He could probably tell that I needed it.”
“Hmm, right. And there wasn’t any point when he mentioned that you look like his wife?”
I sigh, hating how much she can see right through me. It would make my life so much easier if she would just accept the excuse that I’ve given her. The last thing I want to do is get sucked into this.
“We talked about it when Aubrey called me Mommy, but we didn’t think anything more about it.”
“So, how did you figure it out in the end?”
“I saw the photo of him and Nora on his desk.”
“What were you doing in his office?”
Fucking him! Making love to the wrong man just after you warned me to be single.
“I’m his personal assistant. I’m in his office all the time.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me then?”
“Like I said, I was still in the trial period then. I didn’t want to say anything in case the job didn’t work out. In case you haven’t noticed, ever since the mess I made with Trent I’ve been trying to impress you. I want you to be proud of me. I don’t want to have to tell you that I’ve lost another job. Oh, and thanks for sharing all those embarrassing stories about old jobs, that was really helpful.”
“Oh, I know Cooper, he’s alright, he has a sense of humor. It’s fine. He was laughing anyway, I don’t know why you’re so worried about it. He seems to like you anyway.”
I can’t stop myself from bristling at the mention of the word ‘like’. My mom has no idea.
“I don’t know about that, Mom. I’m just trying to do my best.”
I feel a bit like a petty teenager around her, but I suppose that’s because I missed a few of my growing up years around her. I need to try and reel it in a little bit so I don’t give myself away.
“Well, he seems like a nice guy anyway. He’s really good with his child.”
“Hmmm, well it must have been a surprise for him to lose Nora, so I imagine it’s been hard.”
“Yeah, I would think so. Does he work a lot?”
“He does, but he always leaves on time to see Aubrey before bed time.”
“Right, yeah, I see. Well that’s good. It’s the best that can come from a horrible situation.”
There are so many more things that I want to say, so many ways in which I want to defend Cooper, but I can’t. I need to be really careful so I don’t make it obvious that I have deep feelings for him.
I force my eyes to look towards where he’s sitting with Cassie, playing with Aubrey, and of course my heart skips about ten beats. The impact that he has on my body is so powerful and deep-reaching, I can hardly stand it. I’m sure pheromones must be screaming around the garden, everyone must be able to see it.
But if everyone could see it, my mom would have said something. She isn’t one to keep quiet. I’m sure she’d have a whole lot
of things to say about that one, none of them very pleasant.
“So, you do seem like you’re doing really well anyway at the moment.” Mom is stiff as she says this. “With the job and everything. I was worried when you first came back that you would take off again, that Trent would somehow worm his way back into your life, so I’m very proud that he hasn’t.
“Trust me, Mom. Trent is done. I don’t even think about him anymore.”
“Good. I’m glad. That man was never good enough for you.”
Aubrey waves at me, beaming brightly and she indicates that she wants me to come over. To be honest, I want that bad. Not only to escape this conversation before it gets sticky again, I would much rather end it on a high, but also because she’s a sweet kid and now I know that she’s related to me, I want to get to know her.
As soon as I head over to Aubrey, Cooper backs away. I don’t know if it’s because he can’t stand to talk to me or that he doesn’t want anyone to guess that there’s more between us but it still hurts. I have to smile brightly to cover up the stinging sensation spreading from my heart and across my chest.
“Hey there, Aubrey, what are you playing here?”
“Catch.” She throws the ball to me and I reach out to grab it. “Yes!”
I toss it gently back to her but she drops it. I half expect her to kick off in annoyance, since she should really be in her terrible twos right now, but she simply giggles and chases after it.
“She likes you, doesn’t she?” Cassie comments.
“Yeah, she seems to.” I flicker my eyes her way. “But mostly because she seems to think I’m her mom.”
“Hmm, I can see that. Especially if she can’t really remember her mom and she’s only looking at pictures.”
My heart bleeds for this little beauty. She’s such a sweetie and she’s lost so much. This is the very reason that me and Cooper need to keep apart from one another. We can’t make it worse.
But that idea is so hard with my heart flip flopping inside of me. The concept of really stepping back and letting someone else have him is too much to bear. I think I’ll have to get another job if that happens. I won’t be able to see it. I might be the one who’s pushed him back but that’s not because I don’t like him.
“So, you work at Ventry, huh?”
“Hmm, I do, but I didn’t realize at first who it was. It was just a job.”
“Oh, I know, I believe you. I don’t have any doubts about that, you were all wrapped up in Trent and Nora didn’t change her surname either, she remained Headley, so it totally makes sense.”
“I honestly didn’t even know where she worked. I was so sucked in I couldn’t think of anyone else. I feel bad because I missed out on so much, including Nora’s funeral which never should have happened.”
“Oh, you know Nora, she was one of the most forgiving people on the planet.”
That might be the truth, but I don’t think she’d forgive what happened. Cassie either.
“Yeah, you’re right, she was a very generous kind-hearted person.”
“Yeah, the world is a much worse place without her.”
For a moment, I wonder how this situation would look if Nora was still around. She would be sitting with Cooper, holding him, touching him, loving him. That’s how it should be. I should not be in this mess. What an idiot the driver who hit Nora is. I hate him with all the passion in the world.
Just a shame that he’s in jail and I can’t tell him as much.
“All we can do is live each day as it comes, learn from what happened to her, and just take chances.”
“Yeah…” See, that is true too, although I don’t know if she’d say it to me if she knew what’s going through my mind. “I suppose you’re right. You never know what’s around the corner.”
I stare wistfully into the distance, trying to ignore the burning sensation coming from him. It’s such a challenge being so acutely aware of him all the time. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of the afternoon with him here. This is the weekend, my time I’m supposed to be away from him, but I’m starting to learn that there isn’t any escape from Cooper. No matter what.
15
Cooper
“Right.” It’s been nearly two hours now. I’m sure it isn’t nearly enough for them, but I can’t stick around much longer. Being this close to Lexi when I really don’t need to is too much to bear. “I think we better get going in a moment, but I promise I will be much better at bringing Aubrey around to visit. I won’t get so busy,”
“Oh, you’re always busy, we understand that,” Bessie replies. “But we would love you to bring her around at any time because we love seeing her. She’s such a little sweetie. You’re doing a great job with her.”
“Thank you so much, that means a lot to hear you say. I’m trying my hardest.”
“Well, you’re being Mommy and Daddy while also running a time-consuming business.”
“I’m trying my hardest to juggle my time between it all. I hope I’m doing okay.”
“You are.” She rubs my back and smiles. “You’re doing an amazing job.”
It’s funny, because in the beginning, I don’t think she liked me too much. I know that she’s a protective mother and I’m sure it wasn’t personal, just that no man would ever be good enough for her daughter, but that’s all changed. Now she seems to have a whole lot of love for me which makes it a lot easier.
“The only thing I’m a bit rubbish at is managing my time better. But I’ll make a better effort, I promise.”
“We appreciate it and you know where we are if you want us.”
“Come on then, Aubrey, we have to get going now.”
“Don’t want to!” Her whole face falls.
“I know, darling, but we can come back very soon. You know we always come back.”
“Like it.”
“I know you do. I’m glad you enjoy it here, but don’t worry, like I said we’ll come back.”
Aubrey pouts out her bottom lip, and I brace myself expecting a tantrum, but then she throws her arms around Lexi and she murmurs goodbye to her. I watch as she acts like a little angel, hugging everyone in turn to say her farewells. As awkward as it is for me, I really am going to have to make more of an effort. It’s nice here, they always make me so welcome, and Aubrey loves it. It’ll be easier without Lexi around too.
“Actually, I might just use your bathroom quickly if that’s okay? While Aubrey says goodbye.”
“Of course. You go right ahead. I might just get her another treat for the road.”
I head into the house, needing the breathing space. Even when she isn’t looking at me, I can feel Lexi’s eyes on me and it hurts. It stings to know that she’s so close, so engrained in every part of my life, yet I can’t touch her. I can’t have her, hold her like I want to, make everything okay again.
Just hold it together, Cooper, I warn myself. Not too much longer. It’ll all be okay.
“Cooper!” I squeeze my eyes closed as I hear her voice. Doesn’t she know that I came here to get away from her? “Can I just have a word with you for a minute, please? Sorry, I know this is a bit…”
“Do you really think that this is the best place?”
“Nowhere is the right place, is it?” I can see desperation shining from her eyes. “Just one moment.”
“Fine.” I fold my arms across my chest. “What is it?”
“I just wanted to say sorry. I know this is awkward. I didn’t know you were going to be here.”
“Didn’t they tell you that you were coming to meet Aubrey?”
“Obviously not. I would have made an excuse not to come or at least warned you!”
“Yeah, a heads-up would have been nice.”
“Tell me about it. I would have preferred to know as well.”
“Well, whatever. It doesn’t matter anyway, does it? We survived it.”
“You’re acting like you don’t believe me. Why would I do this to myself?”
I narrow my eyes at her. “You’re telling me that it’s so hard to be around me now, it’s like torture?”
“Don’t you feel it too? It’s damn near impossible. First at work, now here.”
“Well, you don’t have to work with me, do you?”
“You want me to leave now? Is that what you’re saying?”
“I’m not saying anything. I just don’t know what to do. This all feels hopeless.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. In case you haven’t noticed it’s much worse for me. I don’t know if you’ve noticed today but my family isn’t exactly proud of me and the choices that I’ve made.”
“It didn’t seem that way to me; yes, your mom made a few jokes…”
“Trust me, you might not be able to see it but the distance is there. Because I made some shitty choices with my ex, now they think that they have to treat me like a child and it sucks. I’m not just dealing with the tension between me and you, I’m taking it from every angle and it’s so annoying. It makes me just want to…”
I feel bad now, I can see how much this affects her. I don’t want to be just another issue in her life. Maybe if we didn’t have sex it wouldn’t be this way but we can’t take it back now.
“I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have come if I knew you were going to be here either.”
She throws her hands in the air, frustrated. Clearly, there’s nothing I can say right now, everything will be wrong. “This is stupid, Cooper. This is ridiculous, I can’t believe it’s gotten to this stage.”
“Well, let’s just pull things back together and make it okay again.”
She snorts, annoyed. “You make it sound like it’s so simple.”
“It could be simple. It doesn’t have to be hard.”
“So, that’s my fault, is it? I’m the one making it hard?”
I blow out a loud breath of air. “Lexi, let’s just stop this for now. We’re going around in circles.”