Dominate Me

by Stacey Lynn

  She licked her lips, her gaze flickered to mine hesitantly before looking away. “Yes, sir.”

  I shifted, released her from my grip while she carefully, slowly, moved off the couch. I grimaced at her sheltered movements, as if she was already growing sore, and she probably was. Once the adrenaline left her and she stabilized more, everything would be tense again.

  I splayed out the blanket on the floor and reached for my boxers, sliding them on.

  “Get comfortable,” I told her and then I went to my room to grab the oil along with one of my T-shirts and a pair of boxers for her to slip into. When I’d told her not to bring clothes, I’d planned on her being naked this weekend.

  Now, knowing what I wanted to say to her, I figured she’d be more comfortable covered.

  And I wanted her covered in me.

  * * *

  “This smells good,” she mumbled from the floor where my hands pressed into her shoulders. I’d already rubbed the oil mixture onto the globes of her marked and red backside and the backs of her thighs.

  “Sage and lavender,” I told her. “They’ll both help with inflammation in your muscles and relax you, too.”

  “If I was any more relaxed, I’d be asleep.”

  I laughed softly. Better a relaxed, sated sub than a tense one.

  I finished her massage with long, relaxing sweeps of my hands along her back and shoulders. Tonight hadn’t gone as I’d planned. Last night, in my frustration with her saying she didn’t want anything more from me than be to just be her Dom, I had pulled out of her driveway angry.

  This weekend was going to be about showing her that what she thought she wanted, she didn’t. I was going to show her exactly how a relationship as just a Dom-sub, and nothing else, would go. But I liked her too much.

  I wanted her too much. Last night, laughing and hanging out at the bar with Dylan, and Gabby when she could join us, even with Anya and Lance, had shown me a different side of Haley.

  It had reminded me what being in a real relationship could be like. Something I hadn’t wanted even with Courtney, not really. But it didn’t mean that at one point in my life, I hadn’t wanted it...someday.

  I just never thought someday would come in a beautiful, porcelain-skinned, green-eyed package, a woman who lit up for me like a fireworks extravaganza.

  “Roll to your side carefully and then to your knees.” She stretched her limbs like a cat waking from a long nap. When she had obeyed, I held out my hand and helped her to her feet. “I brought you some clothes to put on. Would you like a drink?”

  She blinked, looked at the clothes I’d set on the spanking bench and then at me, confusion twisting her brow.

  “Wine?”

  “Will do. Get dressed and meet me in the kitchen.” I walked away, giving her a moment to collect her thoughts even though I had the undeniable urge to pull her into my arms. She looked sleepy and sexy, bashful and cute. A combination I never thought would be attractive to me. “I ordered dinner earlier and it should be here any moment,” I called from the kitchen.

  She joined me in the kitchen moments after I’d poured us each a glass of wine.

  I handed her a chilled glass, watched her slow reactions. “You okay?”

  She blinked at the glass, gingerly holding the stem between her fingertips.

  “You, um...you said something earlier.” Her stammer was as endearing as the rest of her. Holding a glass of wine like it was made of diamonds, standing in my kitchen, wearing my clothes, I knew exactly what I wanted Haley to be to me.

  Mine.

  Not a sub. Not someone I trained. Not someone I fucked.

  I just wanted her to be mine.

  “Haley,” I began. A shrill ringing interrupted me. “That’s our dinner, the warning it’s on our way.” I walked toward her and placed my palm against her cheek. “I know what I said, but let’s eat dinner. We’ll talk after, okay?”

  Her lips parted and she nodded, but she still tensed up. All that work on the massage was going to be ruined.

  “Okay.”

  I brushed my lips across her forehead. “Everything will be fine. Relax, pretty girl.”

  As I pulled away, I caught the sight of her lips parting...her smile shaky.

  Haley

  You are more than just my sub.

  As hard as I tried while I was coming down from the most intense experience of my life, those words banged around inside my brain, making relaxing difficult.

  However, as soon as Jensen had put his warm and oiled hands on me and gave me a massage from my scalp to my toes, my body responded to him like it always did.

  Like I had been created to be by him. Made and built to please him.

  His care after removing my restraints and ball gag hadn’t surprised me. I had studied aftercare, and even the first night we were together at Luminous, Jensen had asked to touch me and hold me. All of it showed me that he was the kind of man to take caring for his sub seriously.

  What surprised me was the tenor in his voice, the way he’d practically growled into my ear, forced me to come when he’d first told me he wouldn’t let me.

  The way his hands had gripped me, the furiousness of his thrusts, like he couldn’t imagine climaxing without me being a part of it.

  That one, euphoric moment where he sent me spiraling into blissful pleasure rattled the foundation of the rules he’d set forth. It gave me hope...that maybe he did truly want more.

  Every part of me wanted to reach for him, even now. I wanted to succumb to the pleasure of his soft but firm touch.

  He watched me with kind but calculating eyes as we tucked into the delicious, carb-loaded Italian meal. Every look was clear and concise.

  He wanted to strip away the walls I’d tried to reinforce. He was going to have me laid bare before him, and it wasn’t going to be because I was naked. Although certainly that’d be part of it as well.

  I shivered at the thought and it didn’t go unnoticed.

  “Are you still cold?” His fork full of linguine froze halfway to his mouth.

  “No. I was thinking.” I looked him in the eye only to see his dark blues had softened. When I’d arrived earlier, coolness had glinted at the edges, but now that had disappeared. “You said we’d talk.”

  “I did.” He took a bite of pasta and chewed slowly.

  Drawing out the anticipation? I didn’t dare ask.

  “Last night you said you would see me tonight if we only played together.” He wiped the edges of his mouth with a napkin and set it on the table. “What if I were to tell you that’s no longer what I want?”

  A mixture of hope and dread swirled inside me, pulling my stomach tight. “What do you mean? What is it you want?”

  “Perhaps I was too rash to insist on the division I put in place at first. Perhaps, after the week we’ve spent together, the time we’ve spoken and being with you last night, I’ve decided I want to try for...more.”

  The last word lingered on his lips.

  My jaw dropped. I had hoped. I had wanted. I had never thought he would suggest this. But even then, the timbre of his words was wrong.

  Reluctant, as if being pulled from him. His jaw pulled tight, a muscle popped at one temple.

  “Why?”

  “Why do I want you?”

  I took a healthy drink from my wine, tasting nothing. “No. Why do you want more? And what does that mean?”

  His head tilted. “Are you questioning why I would find you attractive? Why I would enjoy your company and want more of it? You don’t seem to need the confidence boost.”

  He wasn’t trying to be hurtful. His eyes were honest and open.

  It didn’t stop the sting from the question making me think of Timothy. I spent so much time in my previous marriage, bailing water by handful
s from a slowly sinking ship, that it had made me question so many things about myself.

  For the last year, I’d worked hard to be the kind of woman I envisioned myself to be. Independent, dependable, strong, and yes...confident.

  “You’re not exactly answering my question,” I responded, keenly aware I was also avoiding his.

  “When you met with Dylan at his club, did he tell you much about me, or my history as a Dom?”

  “No.” I laughed, but it was nervous and held no hint of amusement. “Should he have?”

  Jensen shook his head but his gaze darted to the windows at my right. Something flickered in his gaze and the air went heavy. He stared out the windows, fingertips mindlessly tapping on the tabletop. Every second he stayed silent, every second he pressed his lips together, and every second he took to think increased my already speeding heart.

  “Dylan trained me. He was my mentor and I’ve been a member of Luminous since the very beginning. But I wasn’t always as serious, or as hesitant. Did you know that he called me specifically to be your Dom?”

  I hadn’t known. I reached for my wine, questions beginning to spiral inside my mind. Before I could ask any of them, he continued.

  “I hadn’t been inside Luminous in two years, not since things with my last sub went... well, they ended.”

  There was a finality to his statement, one that chilled my veins. I pushed away my half-eaten dinner, uninterested in finishing.

  “Ended?” I took a gulp of wine.

  “She’s not dead,” Jensen said, his voice gone cold and listless. “But she almost died, and it was my fault.”

  My pulse pounded and the chill inside me grew colder. I wrapped my arms around my stomach. “How so?”

  “I had grown to care about Courtney. But I missed signs that she wasn’t always, let’s say, the most stable of people. She wanted things I didn’t want to give her, but did anyway because somehow in our years together, I’d convinced myself I loved her. But at some point, it stopped being about our pleasure...it stopped having anything to do with me, as if the whippings and the floggings and the caning became an addiction.”

  I tried following what he was saying, but I was lost. Jensen’s gaze had clouded and he was no longer talking to me, more to himself.

  “I left the lifestyle two years ago when she tried to kill herself, Haley.”

  My name on his lips made me focus. “What?”

  He shook his head. I didn’t need him to repeat it. Based on the tightness of his jaw and firm press of his lips, he was unwilling to anyway. “After that, I didn’t think I could handle it or trust myself to know what a sub needed anymore. For two years, I’ve dated and I’ve had women, but I haven’t unleashed the Dom in me. After you met with Dylan, he called me and told me he wanted me to train you.”

  “Why?” I had never distrusted Dylan. I had always thought he was open and honest with me. But he’d set me up with a Dom who had such large questions about himself and his own abilities. Had I too easily trusted in someone again?

  “Are you saying you don’t want to be my Dom?” My throat had turned scratchy and dry and I took another swig of wine. Had he given me all of this earlier, given me everything I’d so desperately wanted only to rip it away? Tears burned my eyes and fell before I could hide them.

  “Shit.” Jensen moved while I wiped away the tears. He hands cupped my cheeks and he pulled me to him, pressed his lips against mine. “No. What I’m saying is, when I was with Courtney, I was solely her Dom, at least in her eyes. Somehow, I’d missed the fact she never had an emotional connection to me. For her it was all about the pain, it wasn’t even about submitting. I hadn’t realized that until the first night you and I spent together at your place. You submit, willingly. Courtney played a role in order to get the pain she needed.”

  He pulled back from me, his expression so intense I lost my breath. “I don’t understand.”

  “I know, and I’m cocking this up.” He moved back, taking the seat next to mine, and dropped his hands from my cheeks to cover my hand on the table.

  “What I’m saying is that when I was just a Dom, I wanted more. I wanted a relationship. And when I was only in a vanilla relationship, there was a large part of me missing. I held myself back, couldn’t be who I truly was...but with you...I have both.”

  My head jerked back. “Both?”

  He rolled his eyes, a nervous smile flickering at the corners of his mouth. I stared at that smile as it trembled and grew. “I want both with you Haley. That’s what I’m saying. I want what you said last night you didn’t think I could give you, what I had previously told you I wouldn’t give. I want to be your Dom. I want to spank you and plug you and gag you and I want you to obey when I tell you to, but I want the dates and the beers in bars. No training sessions...just you and me.”

  “You want me to be your slave?”

  “No.” He shook his head, his laugh unable to be contained. “I want you. Only you. I want you in all the ways I need you, and all the ways you want me. We don’t need to define it, do we? You submit when I tell you to, and the other times, we’re like any normal couple.”

  It sounded perfect. It sounded like what I had wanted. Yet, it lacked the boundaries that had been part of the pull to researching and seeking out this lifestyle.

  Part of that was because of Timothy. I had taken the “to have and to hold” and “to be faithful and to respect” parts of our marriage vows seriously. However, he had never considered the “to protect and cherish” part of his. Our marriage had been one big twisted ball of expectations and hopes and dreams on my part that he could never...or would never...measure up to.

  Jensen was sitting across from me, a nervous look growing on his face with every passing moment.

  I wanted what he offered. I just didn’t know if I could handle it.

  “I don’t know,” I finally said, pulling my hand out from beneath his.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Haley

  “What do you mean you don’t know?”

  Jensen leaned back, rested his hand in his lap, but tension coiled in his shoulders.

  The clarity of a Dom-sub relationship appealed to me.

  I would be me. I would submit. I decided when those would happen. He was suggesting I throw away those boundaries.

  “This is a big change,” I admitted, dragging my eyes to his. His hard jaw and his blue eyes had gone glacial. “What attracted me to the lifestyle, at least in part, were the dividing lines. I don’t have to worry about anything, and the person I entrust myself with carries that burden. My last relationship.” I paused and dragged a hand through my hair.

  The scent of the massage oil he used on me earlier wafted into the air and I remembered everything he’d done to me. Everything he’d said and every emotion he pulled from me. “I guess, I’m not sure I trust myself in a normal relationship.”

  His ice-cold eyes warmed and one side of his lips curled up.

  “Haley?”

  “What?”

  “I want you to take off your shorts and climb onto my lap.”

  My head snapped back. “What?”

  His knees widened in his chair, one eyebrow arched and he looked at me...waiting expectantly. “Are you going to disobey?”

  I cleared my throat even as the thrill slid through me. He hadn’t changed anything except the tone of his voice and my body was responding.

  Pushing to my feet, I did exactly as he’d asked. My thumbs hitched inside the waistband of his boxers he’d given me to wear and I pushed them down, the cotton warm against my hips and thighs before they fell to the floor.

  “Shirt?” I asked, fiddling with the hem.

  “Leave it on and get over here.”

  His impatience obvious in the clench of his fists, the tight line of his jaw,
I threw one leg over his and straddled him. His hands went to my hips. He rocked me against him once and then twice before lifting one of his hands and pushing my hair out of my face.

  “Do I appear to be the kind of man who would ever not take care of you?”

  I shook my head. His dominant side was too much a part of him.

  “Do I look like the kind of man who would ever shirk on his responsibilities?”

  His career track record gave me that answer without ever having to meet him. “No.”

  One brow rose and his fingertips dug into my scalp. “No?”

  Oh. Right. “No, sir.”

  “Very good, pretty girl. See? This is easy...you know exactly what I want, when I want it, Haley. Lines don’t have to be cemented in concrete for them to be clear.”

  I thought about that for a moment before nodding. He had turned this into a training session in the blink of an eye and a change in his tone. It was obvious what he wanted now as he held on to me, pressing my core against his erection and yet holding me in a way that prevented my movement.

  My clit pulsed at the thought, as he shifted me, rubbed me along his length, and I couldn’t do anything except let him take me.

  My breath quickened. I gasped as he pulled me against him, my chest against his, my nipples, already hard, rubbing against the fabric of his shirt and creating a delicious friction.

  I arched into him but he held me still with his firm grasp, pulling on the back of my head so I was forced to lift my chin.

  “Tell me about your experience with vanilla sex.”

  My mind was heady with need. All he had to do was touch me and I was turned on. It took a moment to realize he’d asked me a question. “What, sir?”

  He smiled. “Vanilla sex. I assume you’ve had it. Did you like it?”

  Had I? I’d gotten off, sure. “Sometimes,” I admitted.

  “Did it do it for you?”

  “Are you asking if I orgasmed?”

  “Yes.” He gave me a look. “That’s what I’m asking.” His mouth twisted in a way that said he’d rather eat nails than ask me that.