The Missing Husband

by Natasha Boydell

  ‘Jesus, Pete, what are you playing at?’ Dan asked. ‘You’re talking about moving to another country with another woman and you still haven’t told your wife? I’m sorry, mate, but that’s not on at all. You need to deal with it. Stop being a dick.’

  The truth hurt but Pete knew his friend was right. ‘I know, I know,’ he replied.

  ‘And what about the kids?’ Dan asked.

  ‘I’ll still see them all the time,’ Pete insisted. ‘We’ve planned it all out. I’m going to rent a flat in London and come back twice a month, so they’ll stay with me then and they’ll come to France for holidays.’

  ‘Do you really think Kate is going to allow that?’

  ‘She wouldn’t dare to stop me from seeing my kids. I have rights.’

  ‘I’m not sure how many rights you have if you leave the bloody country to live with another woman. Have you even looked into it?’

  He hadn’t but he didn’t want to admit that to Dan. ‘Look, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy but we’ll make it work. Kate won’t stand in the way of me having a relationship with the girls, she’s not like that.’

  ‘She’ll be angry, Pete, angry and humiliated. And even if she does agree to it, are you really okay with not being a part of their day-to-day lives?’

  Dan was a family man, the idea of being away from his children even for a night or two distressed him but Pete was different. He loved his girls, he adored them, but he missed his pre-kids life. And this way, it meant that he would enjoy them even more when he did see them. But he could never admit that to Dan because even he knew it sounded fairly horrific, so instead he said: ‘Of course not, but even if I lived in London I still wouldn’t see them every day. At least this way they can come and stay with me for weeks on end. And they’ll love it, Dan, the place is amazing.’

  But there was no convincing Dan. He disapproved and nothing Pete said would change his mind. His friend’s reaction hadn’t been a massive surprise but it had fed the niggling monster of doubt still lurking in the depths of his mind. Was Dan right? Was this all a massive early midlife crisis that had gone too far and he’d come to regret? Did he just need some time away to clear his head?

  He thought about the upcoming holiday to Greece again. He’d go, he decided, he’d go along and see what happened. There was nothing to lose at this stage.

  19

  Kate

  Valentine’s Day was coming up. The children had come home from school clutching home-made cards for her. To Mummy, Happy Valentine’s Day, I love you xxx

  Pete had proposed to Kate on Valentine’s Day. They were on a romantic trip to Italy and the whole thing was as cheesy as it could get, but she’d absolutely loved it. He’d got down on one knee in a beautiful piazza after they emerged from an amazing dinner and told her that he wanted her to be his wife. Right then, looking into the eyes of the man who had been by her side for a decade, she had never felt happier in her life. After that, Valentine’s Day had been a bit of a special thing for them and even after they stopped going out each year to celebrate, he’d always come home with some flowers and chocolates and cook her a lovely meal. They’d stay up and talk for hours, reminiscing about their past and talking about their future and she’d go to bed thinking about how lucky she was to have him.

  Eventually his gestures slowly dwindled down to a card and some petrol station flowers and she could hardly blame him – the year Maggie was born she’d completely forgotten what day it was and hadn’t even wished him a Happy Valentine’s until he got home from work proffering a hastily bought card that he’d picked up in Sainsbury’s. They’d been in bed by 8pm. The day lost all of its former glory and became just like any other, so it felt strange that, despite the circumstances, she was actually looking forward to it for the first time in years.

  They were holding a Valentine’s Disco at the girls’ school and Kate had been involved in the planning. She had helped the parent organisers out with the promotion for the event and all the tickets had sold out within the first two hours – a new record. Parents and teachers kept coming up to her in the playground to congratulate her and she felt a warm rush of pride each time. Lily and Maggie were beside themselves with excitement – more about the fact that there would be bags of sweets to buy than the actual dance itself – and she, Lottie and a few of the gang from Maggie’s class were going out for pizza afterwards.

  Nadia was baking some of her famous cupcakes and cookies in heart shapes and Kate had been relieved that no one expected her to contribute too. Not only was she useless at baking, she was absolutely rushed off her feet with work at the moment. Her first client had given her another campaign to work on and she’d taken on two new projects since. Trying to fit all the work into school hours was proving to be a bit of a challenge but she was absolutely buzzing. She was earning her own income for the first time in ages and she felt great. Each time she didn’t have to withdraw money from the savings account to pay for things she felt a rush of satisfaction. Her self-confidence was coming back and the daily doses of panic and anxiety were easing off. She knew they’d probably always be there lurking in the background ready to pounce, but she was learning to control them.

  It had been five months since she had last seen or spoken to Pete. They had been the hardest and most challenging months of her life but they had also been surprising. Despite the heartbreak and humiliation, she finally felt more like herself than she had done in years. It had taken an event so completely horrendous and out of her control to shock her back to reality and make her regain control of her own life. Sometimes distress would still overcome her, without any warning, about what he had done and how it had all been left but it was quickly replaced with sorrow for what he was missing as a result. She got to be here with their beautiful children, watching them grow, but he didn’t. And whose fault was that? Was it his for deciding to abandon them? Or was it hers? The truth lay somewhere between the two. But she knew that she had got the better deal.

  And honestly? She didn’t really miss him that much at all anymore. Once she had got out of the habit of having him around, she found that she liked herself far better now that he was gone. It wasn’t his fault, he hadn’t been a terrible husband, but they had drifted apart so long ago and had reached the point where they had brought out the worst in each other, not the best. Late at night she would still find herself thinking, what would Pete say if he could see me now? What would he think? She still craved his approval, even after all this. He’d be pleased, she thought. Pissed off as hell that I waited until he’d gone to finally sort my life out, but proud. But then maybe he’d had to go for her to change her outlook on life. Perhaps she never would have done it if he were still there. His mere presence had become a barrier, hiding her and trapping her at the same time. It was only once it had been forcibly removed that she’d had to stand tall and face the world.

  Her phone started ringing in the hallway and she rushed to answer it. She no longer instinctively looked for Pete’s name and, glancing at the screen, she saw that it was Lottie. She smiled as she answered: Lottie had become a good friend, someone she could really be herself around and who she didn’t constantly compare herself against, and it felt wonderful to have one of those again after so long.

  ‘Ava is so excited about tonight,’ Lottie said. ‘She wants to know what Maggie is wearing. I can’t believe it’s started already, I thought we wouldn’t have this until they were teenagers. They’re growing up too fast!’

  ‘I know,’ Kate said, grinning. ‘Maggie and Lily made me take them shopping so they could buy new dresses. I must say though, I really enjoyed it too.’

  ‘Would you and the girls like to come over for Sunday lunch this weekend? Andy’s ordered in a beef joint.’

  ‘That would be lovely, thank you.’

  ‘Fab, around oneish?’

  ‘Perfect, looking forward to it. See you later for the disco.’

  Putting the phone back down she made a coffee and sat at the kitchen tab
le to do some work. What with the disco and the dinner planned for later that day she had the Friday feeling and was struggling to concentrate. She put the radio on and tried to get stuck into the press release she was writing but her mind kept drifting. What should she wear later? It was only a school party and dinner with some friends but she felt like making a bit of an effort. Should she sack off work and wash and blow dry her hair? She could make it up tomorrow evening. Oh sod it, she thought, closing her laptop. She was feeling reckless.

  Upstairs she put some music on and jumped into the shower, taking her time and savouring the empty house. As much as she loved having the girls around, she enjoyed the time when she had the place to herself. She no longer felt lonely, even at night. The nightmares still came sometimes but they were less frequent now. She’d bought new bedsheets and covers, trying to make the bed her own and she often had little visitors, who crept into her bed and snuggled up beside her at night. Pete used to say that children should sleep in their own beds and had never allowed the girls to sleep with them but now she found that she didn’t mind it at all. In the morning she would wake up surrounded by children and teddies and would smile. No, she couldn’t possibly be lonely, the house was full of life.

  Padding out of the bathroom she did her hair and make-up before putting on some smart jeans and a top. Looking at her phone she saw that it was 2pm – another hour before she had to collect the girls and bring them home to change before the disco started at 4.30pm. Really, she should try to squeeze an hour of work in but she fancied bunking off so she decided to walk up to the Broadway and have a mooch around the shops. She was just picking up her keys when she heard a knock on the door. It was probably Erin, she thought. She was working from home today and had said she might pop round for a cuppa. Never mind, the mooching could wait.

  She opened the door with a grin, looking forward to catching up with her sister but her smile evaporated when she looked at the two uniformed police officers standing on her doorstep. Her heart started to pound.

  ‘Mrs Garland?’ one of them, the woman, asked.

  ‘Yes, that’s me, what is it?’ she replied.

  The officers introduced themselves. ‘May we come in?’ the man asked.

  ‘Oh, yes, of course.’ Kate led the officers to the living room, feeling her palms becoming clammy and her breath quickening. Was this about Pete? She felt instinctively that it was. They all sat down and she looked at them nervously.

  ‘Mrs Garland, can I ask when you last saw your husband, Pete Garland?’

  ‘Five months ago,’ Kate replied. The date she had last seen him was etched into her memory forever. ‘Can I ask what this is about?’

  The two officers looked at each other.

  ‘Mrs Garland,’ the female officer began. ‘Your husband has been reported as a missing person.’

  20

  Claire

  He had been an easy target, really. Unhappily married, desperate for a sliver of affection, it hadn’t taken much to turn his head. Not that she’d planned it, she had no interest whatsoever in ruining a marriage and messing up other people’s lives. She’d never had an affair with a married man before and doing so hadn’t exactly made the list of her future goals. But then she met Pete and everything had changed.

  She’d been in between jobs when the email came through from the recruitment company offering her a role as receptionist on the front desk of a big media company in the City. It was easy work and good money, so the next day she polished her heels, slipped into her pencil skirt and strode through the doors of the imposing building, clattering over the shiny floors and taking her place behind the glossy black marble desk. She liked the receptionist jobs because it was the perfect opportunity for people watching. And this place was just like all the others – each morning City workers piled in, clutching their takeaway coffees and playing with their phones, barely noticing her as they walked past her desk towards the neat rows of lifts behind her.

  Occasionally someone would look up and see her; some of the men might give her a double take, liking what they saw, but most of the time she was invisible and she didn’t mind a bit. It meant that she could watch them all, these rat-runners so absorbed in their own lives that they didn’t even notice what was going on around them. She enjoyed studying them, imagining what kind of lives they led, and giving all the men an attractiveness score out of ten when she was feeling particularly bored. When Pete walked in – a nine, she decided immediately – she expected him to walk on by like all the others, so it came as a surprise when he caught her eye and paused at the desk.

  ‘First day?’ he asked her. She smiled politely and nodded, introducing herself. He gave off an aura of authority and she sensed immediately that he was quite important in the company but she had never been intimidated by senior management. They were just people who burped, farted and cried like everyone else.

  ‘Welcome on board.’ He smiled and then he was gone, piling into the lift with all the others and whizzing up to what she imagined was a top floor office. She forgot about him straight away and turned her focus to the next passer-by until the phone rang and she had to get down to work.

  Over the next few days he continued to greet her politely each morning and soon she began looking forward to seeing him. He was easy on the eye and projected a confidence that she found attractive. Most men her age were either arrogant or insecure and she was bored of them. But she sensed that Pete was different and began wondering if she’d been too quick to dismiss older men in the past. He always arrived at the same time every day and she found herself checking her watch in anticipation of his arrival. A few minutes beforehand she’d duck down behind the desk and reapply her lip gloss.

  But that was all it was at first, just a little something to look forward to in an otherwise pretty dull day at work, something that enticed her out of her bed a bit earlier to straighten her hair and pick a flattering outfit. It had happened at previous jobs, these harmless little crushes on people which made the day pass quicker, and nothing ever came of it, so she had no intention of this being any different. She generally kept herself to herself at work, made enough polite conversation for people not to think she was weird, and that was all. She wasn’t interested in office politics and gossip around the water cooler and she’d never dipped her pen in the office ink so to speak. The thought of other people gossiping about her was unappealing. Perhaps it was because her mum had been a television actress but she’d learned from a young age to keep her private life as private as possible.

  But then one day Pete came in early. She had only just arrived at work and was eating breakfast at her desk – against the rules but she rarely saw anyone else at that hour. There was another hour to go before the floodgates opened and everyone started pouring into work so his arrival surprised her and she found herself quickly brushing the crumbs of her croissant from her face and her blue silk shirt and hoping that he wasn’t the type to report her for flouting the rules. But he smiled his usual greeting and walked on by, her transgression unnoticed or ignored.

  ‘You’re in early,’ she said, conversationally.

  He paused and turned back to look at her. ‘Big meeting, lots to prepare,’ he said, hesitating and then walking back over to the front desk. ‘How’s it all going then? Finding the ropes okay?’

  ‘Oh yes,’ she replied, ‘everyone’s really friendly.’

  When his stomach rumbled loudly it broke the tension immediately and they both laughed. She gave him some of her croissant and they chatted for a while. Then, glancing at his watch, he said goodbye and he was gone. After that he always stopped by for a chat. She liked it, and she liked him. So when she got a round-robin email reminding everyone that it was Free Drinks Friday in the bar on the ground floor that evening – a monthly event held every payday – she was interested. Claire didn’t usually mix business with pleasure and very rarely went to work events, especially ones where everyone tended to get blotto on free booze and do things (or people) they would si
ncerely regret the next day, but she started wondering if Pete would be there. When she finished work, instead of grabbing her bag and making her usual quick exit she found herself in the ladies’ toilets touching up her make-up and straightening her skirt, before heading out into the lobby and strolling into the bar area on the other side.

  The room was already full of people, buzzing from the prospect of free drinks and payday, and she scanned it quickly, looking for his face among the crowds. She felt disappointment kicking in when she realised that he wasn’t there. Still, the night was young, so she got herself a gin and tonic and went to mingle with some of the PAs, who had always been friendly enough to her. As she half-listened to their tales of photocopier woes, she continued to watch the room but he never came and after an hour and a half, she’d had enough. She made her excuses and left, feeling annoyed with herself for even caring.

  Over the weeks that followed, Pete started to come into work early more often. Meetings, client calls to prepare for, lots to catch up on, he always had an excuse. She had given up on the lip gloss. His visits to the front desk started to last longer. One day he brought in pastries, proffering the bag of warm, tasty indulgences at her before helping himself and leaning against the desk with one elbow to eat it. She told him that almond croissants were her favourite and the next day he brought one in for her. These small gestures lingered on her mind for the rest of the day.

  In her defence, she hadn’t known he was married at first. She had figured he was about ten years older than her but he didn’t wear a ring and many men of his age were unmarried or divorced. It was only when he mentioned a skiing holiday he’d been on with his wife and kids that the penny dropped and she felt a crushing sense of disappointment that she couldn’t explain, given that this was meant to be a harmless crush. For the rest of that day she felt grumpy and she went home that evening and opened a bottle of wine, her mind whizzing through the possibilities. Was he trapped in an unhappy marriage? Was he a serial adulterer? Or was he simply making polite conversation with her and she was being an idiot for thinking that it was something more? She didn’t know the answer yet, but she realised that she wanted to find out. It’s still just a game, she told herself, a bit of attention, something to pass the time at work, nothing more. But by the time the next Free Drinks Friday came about she couldn’t resist asking him if he was planning to go.