Craving Forbidden (Craving Series Book 8)

by Crave Publishing

  Stan texted her the next day and asked what time she’d be by for rehab. She couldn’t because of a double shift. She was glad, for she was scared of how the visit would be.

  Jenni didn’t visit Stan the next few days because of work. She knew there was an on-call physical therapist to help out when needed. She knocked and let herself in. “I’m here. You in bed?” She shrugged her shoulders and felt nervous.

  “Living room. I missed you.”

  She walked around the corner from the kitchen and saw Stan sitting up in sweats and a t-shirt with his legs resting on a big footstool. She tried to act normal but sat on the edge of the couch. “Feeling okay?”

  “Yes. Why shouldn’t I?” He patted the cushion by him for Jenni to scoot closer. “Remember the insurance lady who came in the hospital room right before you were going to kiss me?”

  Jenni looked down, feeling the heat rise on her cheeks. “Yes. And?”

  “She stopped by yesterday to check up on me. So out of the blue. Said she had family close by and hoped I didn’t mind.”

  “She got your address off confidential paperwork.”

  “Vallie asked me to clarify it after you left the hospital. I said it verbally and she could use it if needed.”

  “You got me confused.”

  “Hey, what we shared the other day was what I wanted. It was wonderful and I’ll never regret it, but as you said, we can’t go forward. I need to move on.”

  Tears dripped down Jenni’s cheeks. “It’s what I always dreamed of.” Stan wiped her tears. “I was scared to see you again. Scared of what you’d think or act like.”

  He pulled her close for a hug. “I will always act the same but have to go on with my life. I love you, Jenni Bean. Thanks for being my doctor.” They kissed again as a farewell and knew their relationship had changed for the better.

  Chapter 3

  Jenni’s visits to Stan’s place simmered down to none in the next few weeks. She found out Vallie visited almost on a daily basis to help him out. He got the strength back in his legs to walk with a cane for a backup if he got tired or overdid any physical activities. He went back to work at the trucking company doing office work until he had full strength back to drive again.

  Jenni kept busy, but it dawned on her she hadn’t had her period in a few weeks. It was common for her to miss a month, for her cycle was irregular with stress and overwork. She had been doing more double shifts and didn’t get enough sleep. She figured it was the reason she was tired most the time and didn’t eat much. Food didn’t sound good.

  She started having abdominal pains besides the flu feeling. She never thought of checking the time when her and Stan slept together, which was a mistake. She knew she was pregnant.

  More stress was added when she worried what people would think. Jenni’s expecting a baby made by her cousin. Not good. She sat with paper and pen at her desk and wrote down the date of her last day of being a virgin. Thirteen weeks ago.

  With calculations, she wrote down the places she was at the next few days after she was with Stan to come up with a story of how she got pregnant. Jenni remembered going to Olympia to dance at a bar with Yvette and Megan.

  “Perfect. I can say I was raped and don’t know who the bastard was.” She stressed again. “They would pressure me about why I didn’t report it. Does it sound good enough if I say I didn’t know? It’s not their business, anyway.”

  Jennie continued to whisper to herself, “What if the baby looks like Stan? They would know. I got myself in a deep hole. Nobody can know, but it’s hard to hide a fat belly.” Jenni rubbed her stomach. What if I tell Stan and we do get married? We can live in Seattle so people wouldn’t know or care. We aren’t blood-related. It’s no big deal. But people would forget and only remember we’re first cousins.

  She went to the bathroom and lifted up her shirt. Being 5’4” and petite, it was going to get hard soon to hide the small bump. Time to keep her shirts untucked. She was scared to tell her parents. What would they think of her? Would they force her to find out who the guy was who raped her? Damn, damn, damn. I want the baby. I want Stan. I’m doomed.

  A couple days later on a lunch break at work, Jenni sat with Yvette at the sandwich shop next door the rescue center. Yvette tapped the table. “You look different. Are you pregnant?”

  Jenni about choked on her sub, thinking of how to tell. “I’m still a virgin.”

  “Hmmm. You’ve been acting differently the last couple months. Not as energetic, and picky about your food. And you seem to be fuller, if you know what I mean.”

  “Full?” Can people tell if you’re pregnant by your looks? “Flu and cold viruses. Spring sinuses? It’s April with spring fever, I guess.”

  “No.” She nodded a couple times in thinking. “I’m your best bud. You can tell me anything and you know it.”

  Jenni rubbed her eyes. ‘Yes.”

  Yvette leaned forward. “You are? Oh, my. Who’s the lucky guy? I haven’t seen you out with any new man. Are you hiding a prince charming?”

  Jenni practiced her story hundreds of times to get it down straight and not mess up if asked again and not come out with a different story. “I didn’t know until the last month. I can skip a month in the cycle, as you know. But I’m not sure what to do.”

  “Who’s the dad?”

  She bit her lower lip and hoped her lie passed. “I don’t know.”

  “What?”

  “Remember in Olympia when you, I, and Megan, went dancing at the bar?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Remember I was gone for a while?” I was in the bathroom, constipated. She sipped water out of her straw. “I was dancing with a guy I thought was a hunk. He asked me if I wanted a drink. I said sure. He took me to the bar, got our drinks, and said it was getting warm, how about going out back? In the meantime, he held my drink until we were back in the alley, or more the side of the bar where it was dark. I didn’t mind having some kissing, if you know what I mean, but after he handed me my drink, he said cheers with a smile I’ll never forget. It was the last I saw after swallowing the drink.”

  “Saw?”

  “I woke up on the gravel with my mini skirt up and underwear ripped off.”

  “Why didn’t you tell us?”

  “I was drugged.”

  “I do remember you acting awkward. I thought it was a bad combination of drinks. I’m so sorry. What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t have the foggiest idea. I’m scared, Yvette. What should I do?”

  “It’s up to you, but I’d report it. But you’re right on finding the guy who raped you. He could be back in Timbuctoo for all you know. Go see a doctor. You need to get checked out for any germs, including HIV. In time you’ll figure out if you’ll keep the baby or give it up for adoption.”

  Jenni thought of the adoption. Like father, like son or daughter. She couldn’t do it to her own blood, let alone Stan. The thought of having a baby, Stan’s baby, made her scared and happy at the same time. “Change of subject. Do you and Austin have a date yet?”

  “Saving. But hope soon. Got my colors picked and you’ll be my maid of honor.” She paused. “I can wait until after the baby’s born to make it easier.”

  “Thank you. How sweet, but don’t worry about me. You do it in your own time.” She felt a couple cramps and rubbed her stomach.

  “You’re turning a bit pale. You feel okay?”

  “I guess its morning sickness in the afternoon.”

  “When are you going to tell your family?”

  “I don’t know. I’m scared, but I have to. I’ll wait until Sunday when I’m sure they’ll all be home.”

  “Man, you got yourself into a hard deal. Being a mother is one thing, but without knowing who the father is, is another.” She grabbed Jenni’s hands and held them on the table. “Hang tough, and I’m glad you told me before it was noticeable to everyone.”

  “I was going to soon, but you guessed it first. I have to live with it and will t
ake it day by day until I have a final decision. But please keep it quiet until I have the stomach to show.”

  “You got it.”

  After the Wagners had settled for the night, Jenni’s cramps were increasing in intensity, so went to the bathroom. She noticed heavy spots on the toilet paper. Is this common in the first trimester? I know each lady goes through different stages in their pregnancy. Am I having a miscarriage? She wiped again and saw thicker tissue.

  Not to put on a scene by calling the ambulance, Jenni put on two pads and went out the back door to get to her car. Her parents knew she was on call a lot, and left at different times during the day, night, or early morning to go on her paramedic job.

  She drove to the ER and put on a good front as she walked to the registration, and sat, but felt like hell.

  “Hi Jenni,” the ER registration clerk, Holly, said. “What can we do for you tonight? No emergency calls yet.” She looked at the clock, 9:15 p.m.

  “I’m hemorrhaging,” she stated as she felt the warmness between her legs as more blood flowed. “I need a new pad ASAP.”

  Holly jumped up as Jenni acted professional still, stood, and followed Holly to the bathroom. “I need help,” she said and fainted.

  “Dr. Hansen,” Holly yelled. “Patient on the floor bleeding.”

  Jenni awoke, realizing she was on a gurney with an IV inserted in her left hand. The ER doctor was writing notes on his clipboard, and the nurse was getting another pad from the cupboard. “What’s wrong with me?”

  The ER doctor was startled. “You’re awake.” He put the clipboard on the bedside table. “I’m Dr. Hansen, and this is Nurse Beth. You have a husband, boyfriend, or family here with you we can call in?”

  Jenni adjusted herself. “None of the above.”

  Doctor Hansen nodded once as if to understand.

  “As I’m sure you know, you are pregnant and are now having a miscarriage.”

  Jenni agreed.

  “With the amount of blood you’re losing, it’s calculated you’re at the end of the first trimester.

  “Yes.”

  “If you don’t mind, I’d like to run an ultrasound to see what stage you’re in and that everything looks fine. I’m a new OB/GYN based in the hospital, so I can go over the scan with you. Do you give your permission?”

  “Okay.” The fact she was having a miscarriage lifted the stress. She could change the hospital records to having a late heavy menstrual period and call it good. No one but Yvette, the doctor, and nurse would know she was pregnant, and it didn’t matter. The doctor and nurse would forget about her.

  While waiting for the ultrasound, Dr. Hansen saw a couple more patients who arrived at ER. Nurse Beth helped Jenni change her pad with a new one and left the room. Within the hour, the ultrasound technician, Craig, entered with the small portable machine, jelled up Jenni’s stomach, and recorded the view.

  Craig didn’t say much but did a thorough job. “I’ll give the pictures to the radiologist. He’ll prepare the report for Dr. Hansen, who will go over it with you.”

  “Thank you.” Jenni rubbed her stomach and noticed it still had a small bump. She thought of what Dr. Hansen would go over and how long she would bleed. She also thought of how she’d like to be in bed with him. Nothing would beat Stan, but as he said, time to move on.

  “Jenni.” Dr. Hansen opened the drapes and stood by the side of her bed. “What I see on the pictures, you released the embryo today and are in the last phase of the miscarriage. You will continue to bleed heavily for at least another week, then it will taper down to spotting for several days. It’s perfectly normal and best if you take it easy and rest as much as you can.”

  Jenni lifted her arm to indicate she wanted the IV out. “Am I done?”

  “Yes. But I want you to come back in a week for a check-up. I’ll have Nurse Beth get you ready to leave.” Before he went back out, he looked again at Jennie and smiled. “You’re going to be fine,” and left.

  Jenni got home in the early morning, went to bed, and still felt sick, but no longer pregnant. Her life got less stressful. Stan, only using a cane, made it to a family get together the month before. He brought Vallie, and the looks of it, said they were a happy couple. He said Jenni glowed. She didn’t tell him why, for she wasn’t sure yet if she was pregnant, and made the decision to never tell Stan it was his baby. Their relationship was still on the good side, even more relaxing.

  Jenni took the week off and told her family she had a bug and needed to rest. Her mom kept a warm pot of soup on the stove and crackers with ginger ale on Jenni’s nightstand. The spotting continued heavy the next two days, causing Jenni to feel blah.

  Yvette came by to visit a couple of times to check on her. Jenni told her about the miscarriage and all was fine besides the bleeding. She went on to ask Yvette if it was normal to still have a small bump on her stomach. Yvette stated Jenni needed to go back to Dr. Hansen for him to check. Maybe she still had unreleased tissue. Jennie agreed to do it soon.

  Tuesday night, after a week and a half, Jenni was back to work as a paramedic with extra personal supplies of pads. She loved her job helping people. After her last run, she stayed at the ER to read the report of her visit the previous week. “Holly, can I look at my report you entered? I need to check if you got my scribbled writing. I was in a hurry.”

  “Sure. I do admit when you leave at times, I’m almost tempted to call you for clarifications. I need to run to the bathroom.”

  “Thanks.” It was common for the ER clerks to let paramedics and even EMTs check the status and information on the computer. Jenni sat, glanced around once, and typed in her information to get the medical records. It read she had a miscarriage and didn’t want to seek counseling for suspected rape. Jenni changed the record to read visited related to heavy menstrual cycle. She hit save and exited her medical records as Beth came around the corner. Jenni got up. “Thanks. You had it right on.”

  “Doctor Hansen is working again tonight. He’s funny besides being hot.”

  Jenni laughed. “Hot? I never thought a young lady like you in her sixties would use the word hot.”

  The timing wasn’t what Jenni wanted. Dr. Hansen walked in and locked eyes with Jenni. “Do you have a minute?”

  “Um, yeah. Sure.” She looked at Beth and shrugged. Beth raised her eyebrows a few times, indicating flirtation. Jenni flapped her off.

  Dr. Hansen informed the backup ER doctor he’d be back shortly. He looked at Jenni as they walked down the hall. “I need to go over a couple things since your visit.” He opened his office door, turned on the light, and held the chair as Jenni sat down.

  “What’s the problem?” Jenni sucked in her lips and raised her eyebrows, feeling insecure.

  “I took another look over your ultrasound pictures and would like to do another one. The ultrasound tech missed a spot, or it was blurry.”

  “I’ve stopped spotting, so I believe I’m okay. But I know the law, and you need to protect your butt.”

  He moved his head back in awe. “You’re handling your miscarriage well. I understand the emotional trauma. My sister had three miscarriages before she went full term.” He received a page. “I need to return to ER but I’d like to do the ultrasound tonight, if that’s okay. I’ll let the tech know.”

  “Fine. But I’m sure all is well.” Crap, I forgot about the ultrasound pictures. I couldn’t delete them. At least he didn’t see the ER notes I changed.

  The ultrasound was redone with a different tech. Jenni went back to the waiting room and waited to be called back to Dr. Hansen’s office. “From your information last week, I’m sure you were raped and happy to have the miscarriage.” He held up the picture. “I’m glad we did another one. You were pregnant with twins. You lost one, but this baby has attached and is growing perfect.”

  Jenni sat back in the chair with her mouth open. “No. Twins? I’m still pregnant? I can’t be.”

  “You are pregnant, and by the size, you’re at the begin
ning of the second trimester and can calculate the due date around the end of October.”

  Jenni rubbed her stomach again. “Holy shit. I’m screwed.” She was stressed about the news, but happy. She’d have a part of Stan with her life forever.

  “Your emotions are mixed. Are you sure you don’t need counseling? You went through a traumatic ordeal.” He leaned forward and rested his arms on his desk.

  “To tell you the truth, I can’t explain it. I don’t want parents who have hidden problems of abuse, drugs, or alcohol raising my baby. I have no idea who the sperm donor is and will never find out. Being a single parent is hard, but I want to keep my baby if I don’t lose this one too. Is it a possibility I could? Are you taking new patients?”

  Yes, no, and yes, being a single parent is hard, mothers have had miscarriages at a later date, but I believe you are at a safe stage. If you do spot again after your miscarriage has ended, bed rest might be in the future. I am taking new patients.” He typed on his laptop to open Jenni’s records and glanced at the previous notes that were no longer his before he entered the new info. “You can get into trouble for changing ER confidential records, even on yourself.”

  “I don’t want my personal life known by everyone. I guess it doesn’t matter now.”

  “There’s still abortion, which I don’t want to practice if there is no health risk, and adoption, if you decide to not keep the baby. Are you sure you don’t know who the father is?”

  Here comes the continuing lie. I want to shout out to the world I’m pregnant with Stan’s baby and happy. But I can’t, and am starting to feel unhappy. “No. I was at a bar with my friends in Olympia and got drugged by some guy outside. I woke up on the dirt.” She grabbed a tissue off Dr. Hansen’s desk. “Can I leave now?”