Loving Spoonful

by Candice Poarch

  “She’s an employee. Nothing more.”

  “Who you’re attracted to.”

  “I have a hard-and-fast rule that I don’t date employees. I’ve never broken that rule, especially not with Lauren.”

  “But you want to.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t deny it either.” When he remained silent, Kimberly said, “Jack, if I’m not the woman you want to be with any longer, if you feel this relationship is stifling you, then maybe you should move out and apply for a divorce.”

  “Kim…Kim, I never said I want a divorce.” He threw up his hands. “I don’t know what I want. And I certainly didn’t mean to hurt you, but I’m sick to death of your complaining. It’s wearing me out. And it’s unnecessary.”

  “It’s called communication. Something we don’t seem to do very much anymore. Don’t you think not knowing if you want another woman would hurt me?”

  “You’re blowing everything out of proportion. I still love you.”

  “I’ve made a sacrifice.”

  “Kim…”

  “I don’t make enough money to live off now. You even wanted me to quit my job—quit my job, when you knew all along you were going to buy that brewpub. You lied to me.”

  “Not intentionally.” Jack swept a hand across his face. “I can’t talk to you anymore,” he said. “You know you’ll never have to worry about money.”

  “I don’t know any such thing. Wife number two won’t like the fact that money she could use is going to wife number one.”

  “You’re blowing this way out of proportion. I’m not even seeing another woman.”

  Kimberly turned, headed to the stairs.

  “Kim…”

  “You acted like I was the reason our marriage was in jeopardy, while all the time you were making plans without discussing them with me. I want you to pack your bags and leave. Now.”

  “Kim…”

  She wasn’t listening as she ran upstairs. Her world had turned on its axis.

  It was a good thing the kids were spending the night elsewhere, because Kimberly couldn’t deal with them tonight.

  Kimberly pulled jeans over her shorts, grabbed her keys and left. She drove to an almost-empty parking lot and cried until she had no more tears.

  Jack hadn’t expected this. He felt like somebody had smacked him with a two-by-four. His first impulse was to stop Kimberly as she ran past him, but he didn’t know what to say. He hated like hell to hurt her. And he knew he had. But could he keep lying to her and himself? She was being so unreasonable.

  And he certainly wasn’t attracted to Lauren. He didn’t want a divorce. He never expected her to ask for one. It was…Damn it, he was just confused right now. Couldn’t a man go through changes without the world coming to an end? Women used the excuse of their PMS. Men had nothing to use as an excuse except “middle-age crazy.” But he hadn’t hit middle age yet.

  For the past few months he’d been plagued with a sense of unfulfilled ambition and achievement. He felt as if he was standing still as life was passing him by.

  He should be on top of the world. He had two wonderful children, a wonderful wife, a house big enough for three families and enough money to satisfy his wildest dream. But he worked so hard he didn’t have time for dreams. And suddenly, all the things he had, which were blessings really, didn’t seem to be enough.

  Yet, he couldn’t envision his life without Kimberly. He felt a deep sense of abiding loss.

  And his kids. How could he walk out on his children? He loved them with every beat of his heart.

  Jack sat for several minutes. He didn’t have to leave forever. Maybe he and Kimberly needed a short separation. He needed some time to pull his thoughts together.

  Jack went upstairs, pulled out a suitcase and packed enough clothes to last a week. He shouldn’t be gone longer than that.

  Chapter 6

  Two days later, Jack dialed April’s cell phone but got no response. Five times more he dialed it as he drove to his house—or what used to be his home. He was still miffed at Kimberly and didn’t want to go inside to see her. Just the sight of her was enough to piss him off. Throwing him out of his own home! And now he was thrown into the role of some stranger—some trespasser. Well, he wasn’t going to ring the doorbell to his own damn house.

  Damn it. Jack parked his car in the driveway and climbed out. He wondered if his usual place in the garage was empty, or if Kimberly had filled it up with junk.

  Using his key, he let himself into the house. It was as quiet as a tomb. He strolled to the kitchen to see if April was there and came up short.

  Kimberly’s head was under the sink and her well-shaped behind, covered with red shorts, was poking up in the air. Jack frowned. The shorts were way too short. He could see her butt cheeks. He smothered a moan of desire, dragging in a deep breath to cool his ardor, before reluctantly tearing his gaze from her butt to the various tools stacked on the floor. A book was held open with a wrench.

  With a disgruntled sigh, he reminded himself she put him out. He was not going to be the one to give in this time.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  He heard a bump, then a curse. Kimberly’s head snapped out and she was rubbing it. “What are you doing here?” she asked accusingly.

  “April called. Said she needed some supplies. She said you were out. You okay?”

  “I’m fine,” she said.

  He studied her stubborn features. “I thought you got all the supplies at the beginning of the school year.”

  “I can’t plan for everything.”

  He nodded toward the sink. “What are you doing?”

  “The sink’s stopped up, so I’m taking it apart.”

  “Why didn’t you just call a plumber?” he asked, knowing well Kimberly wasn’t handy at mechanical things.

  “Because now that I’m a single woman I have to learn to do the repairs. I can’t call a plumber every time something breaks down.”

  Jack gritted his teeth. “You’re not single. And you know I would have paid for the plumber. We still share bank accounts.”

  “For how long?”

  “Don’t be any more difficult than you already are,” he snapped. He was at the end of his patience with her.

  Kimberly stuck her head back underneath the cabinet. “April should be upstairs. Why don’t you go look for her?”

  Jack muttered an oath and paced over to the sink. “Move over.”

  “I have it,” she snapped.

  “No, you don’t. You’ve never repaired a sink in your life. Honestly, you’re the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met.” He physically hauled her from beneath the sink and set her aside, all but tossing her.

  “I didn’t ask you to fix it.”

  He didn’t say a word as he went to work on the sink. Five minutes later, he pulled a huge wad of what looked like celery strings and a couple of mangled toothbrushes out of the drain and threw a suspicious look at Kimberly.

  “How did all this get in there?”

  “How would I know? I have more sense than to put good food or toothbrushes in the disposal.”

  A noise by the door drew Jack’s gaze. April stood there looking sheepish.

  “We’re going to have a talk, young lady.”

  “I didn’t mean to, Dad. I forgot to tell Mom the toothbrushes slipped out of my hand when I was pulling new ones out of the box. The phone rang and I forgot about it after I answered it.”

  Sure she did, Jack thought, disappearing back under the sink to secure the elbow joint back in place. April had disappeared by the time he finished, and so had Kimberly.

  He stacked the tools and carried them out to the garage, storing them in their proper places. Kimberly always had to take things to the extreme—and leave things where he couldn’t find them again.

  Back inside, he climbed the stairs to April’s room. She was lying across the bed, crying her pitiful heart out.

  Jack felt devastated
for her. He sat beside her and gathered her into his arms. “It’s okay, baby. I fixed the sink.”

  “I want you to come home, Daddy. I don’t want you and Mama to get a divorce.”

  “Who said anything about a divorce? Your mom and I just need some time apart to think. Your old man is still here, sweetheart. Now get cleaned up so I can take you out.”

  When his daughter dashed to her bathroom, Jack glanced at the door to see Kimberly standing there. Her face was as sad as their daughter’s.

  She’d lost weight. She wasn’t that big to begin with. Why didn’t she just come to her senses, relent and ask him to come home? She glanced away from him.

  Why was she even putting them through this ridiculous ordeal?

  With every breath in her body, Kimberly wanted to ask Jack to move back. But she couldn’t continue to live the way things were. She’d bargained for a live-in husband, not an absentee one.

  April’s tears had ripped through her like a shredder, tearing her insides to pieces. It took everything in her not to cry herself. She didn’t want to do this to the children. Even though she was nineteen when her parents announced their separation, it had still hurt. It had still felt as if something vital had been ripped from her.

  And watching Jack interact with April. Oh, Lord, why couldn’t he be there on a daily basis? Why did disaster have to strike before he participated?

  Tearing her gaze from the heart-wrenching scene, Kimberly ran downstairs. Her stomach felt hollow because she hadn’t been eating. But she still couldn’t seem to gather up the energy to eat. She knew she’d lost some weight. Her clothes were feeling loose on her. Even her makeup person had commented on it. She had to eat something or she’d make herself sick.

  Kimberly opened the fridge and did what she told her children a million times not to do. Letting the cold air escape, she stared at the contents inside.

  Jack had moved out only days ago, and Kimberly already felt bereft. An unrelenting fist squeezed her heart. People who said love didn’t hurt had never been in love. Her chest felt as if an elephant had sat upon it and taken up residence.

  The kids were moping around the house, especially April, who was alternating with bouts of tears. She was definitely Daddy’s girl. Kimberly had to carry on as if everything would be all right, when she felt as if her world would never be right again.

  She made an appointment for her yearly gynecological checkup and thought she’d also make an appointment with her regular physician for a prescription to help her sleep. In the past, she always slept like a rock, and she never thought the day would come when she’d need help.

  If she didn’t start sleeping at night, she’d soon look like the walking dead. As it was, the makeup artist had to use extra makeup. The man had even commented on her appearance.

  “Girlfriend, what is wrong with you? You’re not getting enough?”

  He’d never felt the liberty of commenting on her sex life before. It was not something she would discuss in her work environment.

  But she’d nearly burst into tears. With much effort, she’d held the waterworks at bay while he rambled on about his latest conquest. Good thing he could go on for hours without her responding. Some people just loved to hear themselves talk.

  It was almost the end of May, and tonight was her son’s last baseball game. As usual, she’d be his only parent there.

  She drove to the school. It was her night to work the concession stand during intermission. Several of the parents stopped by to talk while she served up chili dogs, nachos, pizza, hamburgers, sodas and candy.

  Then the game started. She got a few minutes’ break until intermission. Her son’s team was winning by one run.

  While she was serving, Jack arrived. She did a double take. Jack never appeared at the games.

  She was acutely aware of his tall, athletic physique, and the outline of his broad shoulders inside the green polo shirt. Since it was cool, he wore a windbreaker over it. Which didn’t stop her from focusing on the jeans that molded to him. Unfortunately, he stood close enough to her that the light aroma of his soap teased her senses. She wanted to take him to bed that moment. Have mercy. What in the world was she going to do?

  She’d done everything but stand on her head to get Jack to attend games, and he always put her off because he was too busy. And now that we’re separated, he appears for his son’s game. Would she ever understand him?

  “Hello, Kim,” Jack said. His dark eyes watched her like a hawk, and she found his presence disturbing in ways that were going to get her into trouble.

  She summoned up a smile. “Jack. What can I get you?” A line was forming behind him, so maybe he’d move on quickly.

  He gazed deeply into her eyes, but she broke contact. “A bottle of water, please.”

  She handed him the water, but instead of taking it, his hand wrapped around hers. The coolness from the bottle pressed against one side, but heat from his hand pressed against the other. She felt as if she was on fire. Suddenly, he released her and she snatched her hand back, hoping it wasn’t shaking when she took his money.

  “Hi, Mom,” April piped up with a smile, coming up behind her father.

  Kimberly sucked in a breath and pasted what she hoped was a natural smile on her face. “Hi, honey.” Kimberly knew she looked foolish. She felt conspicuous. But after the exchange with Jack she couldn’t get herself under control. The little imp had gotten her dad to bring her here. Little Miss Matchmaker, Kimberly thought sadly. April wanted them back together, and this was one of her tactics. Kim hated that the children were so unhappy, but she didn’t know what to do to reach Jack.

  He was still standing there. Kimberly wished he would just go to the stands.

  Jack couldn’t deny that Kimberly looked lovely. He knew he shouldn’t have clamped his hand around hers, but he wanted to touch her. She wore jeans, but still…

  “I want nachos and a Pepsi,” April announced. “Can you buy it for me, Daddy?”

  “Make that water, young lady,” her mother said.

  April let out a long sigh. “I don’t know why you’re on this health kick.”

  Kimberly handed over the water and nachos and Jack paid for them.

  “How’re they playing?” he found himself asking.

  “Up by one.”

  Jack nodded, and with the bottle of water in his hand, he followed April to the stands.

  After the initial rush of trying to get his first two pubs going, Jack had made it to a few soccer games, to ballet and piano recitals. But as the years passed, he’d bought more pubs, and things got too busy at work again. He’d let Kimberly take care of the events.

  But his daughter was requiring more of his time. His sister had picked her up from school and dropped her off at his office. April had convinced him to have dinner with her and had dragged him to the game. She had an entire schedule of events lined up for him. Even if he wanted to date another woman, which he didn’t, he couldn’t.

  She’d never been this clingy before, never required this much of his time. Before the separation, breakfast was all she required of him. But now that he wasn’t at the house, he worried that she wasn’t eating a proper breakfast before she went off to school. Maybe he should at least keep up that part of their routine. Kimberly wouldn’t be there in the mornings. And the kids still needed him.

  He swiped a hand across his face. He didn’t know what was going on with them any longer. Why couldn’t they click? There was a time when they talked for hours without a break. They could spend the whole day, the two of them, and never run out of things to say and do. Suddenly, he didn’t know his wife anymore. She just wasn’t reasonable.

  After a while, another woman took Kimberly’s place at the snack bar. She went and sat with women she obviously knew. They made their very own cheering section. Something stirred in the pit of Jack’s stomach. He didn’t know any of these people. For too long he’d worked to make a living, but he hadn’t been involved in his children’s lives. They’
d grown up without him.

  When the game was over Jack approached Kimberly. “Did you get my suit from the cleaners?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “You don’t live at home anymore. I don’t take care of your clothes.”

  “Are you serious?”

  She rolled her eyes at him and turned to speak to another parent.

  “It’s confirmed. You’re pregnant,” Kimberly’s gynecologist said two weeks later.

  The bottom dropped out of Kimberly’s stomach. “Vicky, it can’t be true.” Only a month had gone by since her trip to the Caribbean. It seemed so much longer.

  “You should be happy. You and Jack have been trying for years. And you can tell him to rest assured all his parts are in working order.”

  “And then some,” Kimberly said before she could catch herself.

  Vicky laughed, but Kimberly couldn’t even begin to join her.

  Kimberly sat as if struck speechless, and Vicky rubbed her arms.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Jack moved out.”

  “What? Dependable Jack?”

  Kimberly nodded. “It’s a long story.”

  “Well, I guess he better just move himself back in,” Vicky said. “He wanted this child—and you shouldn’t have to raise it alone.”

  “It’s not that easy.”

  “Of course it is. I’ve got appointments rolling one after the other today. Sit for a few minutes and pull yourself together, then go home. I’ll call you as soon as I finish up here and we’ll go out to dinner.”

  “I can’t eat.”

  “You have to eat. You’re going to begin taking prenatal vitamins,” she said. “Leave your cell phone on. I’ll pick you up from your house.” With a quick hug, Vicky left the room.

  Kimberly dressed and, with the name of the prenatal vitamins in hand, made her way outside of the building, and on shaky legs struggled to a bench. Her head was swimming. It was absolutely impossible. No wonder she was feeling emotional. She was pregnant.