The Warrior's wager

by Mia Pride

  With a sigh and a swipe through his ruffled blond hair, he shrugged. “He wagered Àdhamh that he could get you to marry him within one moon’s time. His payment was to be Àdhamh’s fine dagger. If he lost, Àdhamh was to choose Alastar’s next bedmate. I warned him immediately not to make wagers about my sister, but I truly believed his intentions were honorable. He meant to wed you regardless of the wager. The dagger was just a bonus,” he shrugged again awkwardly.

  “Do you mean this dagger?” Pulling the dagger from the leather straps of the boot around her calf, she held it up for Eoin to inspect, its sharp blade and intricately engraved handle gleaming in the fire light. Silently, Eoin nodded and frowned.

  “That bastard. It was all for a wager! I was all a wager. He just wanted this blasted dagger and me in his bed! And worse, he did not care who Àdhamh chose for him to bed next!” Her stomach churned with disgust. She should have known that a man who would lick a woman’s breasts in public would bed any lassie tossed his way. She had simply been a game. She was the chase.

  “Then why would he give you the dagger, if he wanted it so badly?” Eoin asked. “’Twas you he wanted.”

  She snorted and put the dagger back into her boot. “Aye, he had the dagger, but not me. Och. I am a fool.” Her heart plummeted, and her stomach roiled. She had been a complete imbecile to fall for his tricks. She would not bed him, so he gifted her a hound, a dagger, and some blasted targets. It had worked. A few gifts and sweet words, and she spread her legs for him like a whore. Apparently, he was willing to lose the dagger if it meant he could have his way with her.

  “I do not understand what you mean, Lin. How did he not have you if you were already his when he gave you that dagger?”

  “Eoin… do you really wish to hear the answer to that? Nay… I assure you. You do not.” Picking up her head, she rubbed her stinging eyes and sighed as she got back up on her feet. Her knees ached from her fall, but she stretched her legs and hid her pain. “I must go.” Eoin stood up and gave her a strong hug. He did not speak, but he did not need to. She knew he and Treasa would be here for her.

  Silently she left their home and walked back, allowing the cool summer breeze to wrap around her soothingly. Nothing could take away the ache in her chest, but at least she could enjoy the outdoors as she always had before. The moon was high and full, casting a blue hue all around the world. It was long past midnight and the sun would be up soon.

  Opening their door silently, she breathed easy when she saw him lying still in bed with his eyes closed. She had no will to speak to him just now, or ever again, after all she had learned. How dare he wager with his companions that he could wed her. He made a fool of her and worst of all, she allowed it. She never meant anything to him. Alastar was exactly who she had thought he was before, a man with a ready smile who was willing to do aught to get what he wanted.

  “Where did you go, Lin?” His eyes did not open, but he was clearly awake.

  “Home,” she mumbled and poked the fire with an iron rod, bending over to add a log to feed the flames.

  “This is your home,” he replied calmly.

  She wanted to tell him it would not be her home for much longer, but doing so would start a long conversation she was not ready to have. She just wanted sleep.

  “My mother’s home,” she corrected to appease him as she grabbed the hem of her loose wool dress and slipped it over her head.

  “Something is wrong.”

  “Nay.” She did not wish to speak, and she wished he would stop.

  “Will you come sit by me?”

  She huffed loudly. She wanted to tell him that she never wanted to even look at him again, but again, to do so would require a longer conversation. Slipping her night dress over her head, she walked over to him slowly and sat down on the stool by his side. “I am very tired, Alastar. I need sleep. What do you want? Would you like your dagger back? After all, you did earn it by winning the wager.”

  His eyes grew wide and he clenched his jaw. Again, he reached for her hand and again she pulled away. “I want the woman I love to speak to me, to show any sign of care for me.”

  That did it. Her blood was boiling with pent up rage and hurt. “Which one?” she forced through clenched teeth.

  “Excuse me?” His brow furrowed in confusion.

  “You want the woman you love? Which woman? I hear there is more than one.”

  She saw his throat bob as he swallowed, and his hand pulled away from her. In that moment, she knew it was true. He knew she had heard him say those words to Elwynna in the forest. “Anything else, husband?”

  “Lin, I do not know what you believe you saw or heard that day, but I can explain—”

  “Explain?” she roared as she stood quickly from her stool, causing it to topple over. “I heard you tell another woman you loved her while you held her in your arms. There is nothing for you to explain, Alastar!” She stepped away and began to pace, debating on whether to hold in her rage for another day, or let it all out now that it was so ready to spill over.

  Her emotions made the decision for her. “And now I learn that I was nothing more than a wager to you! My happiness in exchange for a dagger. And then, as some sick mind game, you gifted me the very dagger you earned by dishonoring me! And what if you had lost? You had nay care for who you would have had to bed? I hate you Alastar Mac Murray! You can have Elwynna and your dagger for all I care!” Bending over, she yanked the blade from her boots and forcefully drove it into one of his bed’s posts.

  “I trusted you with my heart and you crushed it. I should have listened to Daniel when he warned me about you! He was a bastard but not nearly as much as you are!”

  He flinched, and she continued her tirade. “You lied to me! You told me you never told her you loved her! And yet, you did! Right before my eyes! I am such a fool for ever believing a man such as yourself could actually love one woman! I will not share you and I will not make you decide! Once you have healed, I am leaving! You can have her for all I care, you selfish arse!”

  “Lin… listen to me.”

  She put up a hand to stifle him. “Answer one question. Aye or nay. And do not lie to me. Did you tell Elwynna that you love her?”

  “There was more to that conver—”

  “Aye… or nay?”

  “Aye.”

  She stumbled backward, tripping on the very stool she had just knocked over. It was as if he struck her across the face. Of course, he had said it. She heard the words come from his filthy lips. And yet, he so easily admitted it. Nothing in her life could have hurt more.

  “We are done.”

  “Lin…”

  “Done!” she roared as she walked back over to her bed and yanked the curtains around herself for privacy. She did not want him to see the pain he was causing her. How could he say there was more to that conversation? She knew there were pieces she missed due to the sounds of battle in the distance, wind, and his lowered voice, but she heard words that could not be explained away or unsaid. Rolling over, she tucked her knees up to her chin as much as she could without crushing her belly. She hated him. Loathed him. Silent tears streamed down her face and shook her body. Even if he had said those words to Elwynna out of pity or sympathy for her injury, there was no excuse for them. This was how he left a trail of broken hearts, by being careless with his words and making selfish wagers. Her eyes burned, and she squeezed them shut, waiting for sleep to carry her away, though it would not come. She hated her husband.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Morning came, he was certain of it. He could not move or go outside to check, but he knew enough hours had passed. His wife should have awakened by now, but she had not stirred, not that he could see her at all with her curtains drawn. The blade she drove into his bed post twinkled at him mockingly as it reflected off the dying embers of the fire.

  He cursed himself an arse. A bastard. A fool. When Elwynna had told him that she loved him, he had told her loved her, too. And he did, just not in the way
he loved his wife. He told her he was in love with his wife. Looking back, perhaps he should have chosen different words, but he had not seen the lass in years and she was potentially dying in his arms. He thought he made it clear when he responded that his love for her was that of a close companion, someone who had been through all the worst things in life and stood by his side. Had Aislin not heard all his words, his declaration of love for his wife?

  Still, what if it had been him? How would he have reacted to her saying those words to another man? Someone she had once had a deep relationship with? He would have killed the man and bellowed at her until his voice went out, but would he have left her? Nay, nothing would make him leave his wife. The difference was that he trusted her. She had been an innocent before him and he needed not worry about any men from her past appearing. Yet, he had been with scores of women. It was bound to happen that one would show up eventually, and he had blown it.

  He cursed himself again. He needed to get Aislin to calm down long enough to listen. He knew she was much too angry the night before to hear anything he had to say, so he had allowed her to shout and call him names. What she had seen was not even close to what had truly happened, but how could she know that? And how had she learned about that foolish wager? He had to speak with her.

  He knew she would avoid him at all cost and yet, she had sworn to care for him and in truth, his wound ached fiercely. “Lin?” he called and groaned just from the strain of using his abdominal muscles. He need not fake the pain; it was real and potent. “Lin, I need you…” He needed her in the worst of ways. He missed her smile, her touch, and the sparkle in her eye when she laughed at one of his poor jests. He wanted his wife back.

  The curtains on her bed opened swiftly and she stumbled out with a groan, her eyes blood shot as she cradling her… swollen belly? Why was his wife’s belly larger than it had been before? It was not huge or obvious by any means and, had she not held her night dress so closely against herself with her hand, he may not have noticed the suddenly obvious expanse of her usually very flat and toned stomach.

  His eyes squinted as hers suddenly went wide with knowing. She moved her hand quickly, but it was too late. It suddenly all made sense… why she had been wearing longer, looser gowns even with the summer weather, why she had not eaten well for so long, and why she seemed tired or dizzy so often. Then, there were the piles of blankets and wee garments. Those were not for her cousins… those were for her babe… their babe.

  “You are carrying my child…” he said with wonder as his heart constricted and his throat closed with a rush of emotion. “My dear, sweet wife. You are going to have our babe and you never told me?”

  A bolt of intense anger, disappointment, and agony ripped through him. How long had she hidden this from him? It had been intentional. She had been angry with him for a sennight, but this babe was now showing, and she had never told him. Then he looked at the piles of garments and wool blankets, and more anger boiled in him. Did everyone else know he was to be a father except for him?

  “How far along are you, Lin?”

  She frowned and rubbed her belly again. “I am in my fourth month, Alastar.”

  “And you never told me?” He could hear the hurt in his own voice as it quivered. “Why did you not tell me? I am so very happy, and yet so terribly hurt. ‘Tis like you just ripped my heart out, Lin.”

  Her eyes narrowed, and she pursed her lips. “So now you understand the pain I have lived with this past sennight, for hearing you say you love another woman destroyed me!”

  “Do not pass this back on to me, Lin! Tell me why you did not tell me about our babe?” He was shouting now and the tension in his body was causing his wound to throb.

  “I was going to tell you! The very night of the battle! I did not get the opportunity to do so.”

  “You could have told me before. You must have known.”

  She sighed and rubbed her tired eyes before walking closer to him. “I wanted to wait, to make sure all was well with the babe before I told you. You had suffered too much loss in your life and I knew you would not bear the loss of a child. I wanted to wait until the babe quickened, then I planned to give you that wee gown over there at our evening meal. It all seems like a lifetime ago,” she murmured.

  “The babe moves?” he asked. She nodded, and he could not help the wide smile spreading across his face. “May I feel him?” She hesitated, but must have decided he had every right to feel his babe, so she stepped closer to the bed and allowed him to place his hand on her abdomen.

  He waited a quick moment and frowned when the child did not move. “Is he all right? He is not moving.”

  She smirked slightly. “This is why I waited, Alastar. You would have driven me mad with your constant worry. Aye, he is fine. He must be sleeping. I know how to make him awaken.” She moved over to the large jug of water on the table and poured some into a mug, then walked back over to him.

  “The cold water always makes him move.” Alastar put his hand back on her abdomen and waited rather impatiently as she guzzled the cool liquid. She laughed and pushed his hand harder down onto her belly. “There. I feel him. Do you?”

  He shook his head and pouted. “I feel nothing.”

  “Mayhap ‘tis too soon for you to feel it outside,” she shrugged.

  Then he felt it. It was quick and almost undetectable, but he swore he felt something. “Was that him? Just right here?” She nodded and smiled, and he let out a loud laugh. “Gods, I love you, Aislin.”

  Her smile turned down quickly and she stepped away. “Do not say that to me right now, Alastar. It hurts too much.”

  “Tis the truth. I love you, and nay other.”

  “I knew you would do this. I knew as soon as you discovered I was carrying your child, you would choose me over… her. But you should have loved only me all along and I cannot be with a man who will only stay with me because of his child. That is not a life I am willing to live.”

  She began to walk away, but he stopped her. “Please. Aislin. I need you to allow me to explain what you heard that day.”

  Crossing her arms, she turned to look at him and glowered. “All right. I will listen.” She plopped down on the stool by his bed, keeping her arms crossed. “But I cannot see how you can explain why you told Elwynna you love her.”

  “Did you hear what I said after I spoke those words?”

  Her brow dropped, and she shook her head. “You were whispering and with all the sounds around me, that was all I heard. That, and that it was good to see her face. Also, not something my husband should be saying to another lass.”

  He breathed deeply and squeezed his eyes shut. Honestly, he was fortunate his stubborn wife was even allowing him a chance to speak at all. Mayhap that was a good sign. “I will explain all. I just need you to please listen.” When she nodded, he nodded in return. “I was in the middle of fighting one of Mal’s men when I heard her scream my name. I cut the man down and turned to see her running toward me, just before one of her own warriors accidentally caught her in the waist with his sword. I was in shock. All I could think to do was carry her far away from the battle.

  “She said she had heard I was here and that she wanted to see me, to warn us of her father’s plans, but she could not get inside the gates before the battle started.”

  “Aye, I did hear her say she wished to see you and heard you were here. I did not hear the rest,” Aislin added.

  “She was bleeding a lot and I was very worried for her. You need to understand that she meant a lot to me at one point.”

  “From what I saw, the way you held her, she still means a lot to you, Alastar,” her voice was rising in anger again and he could not blame her. He had to get to the point quickly.

  “She told me she loved me, as you heard. I thought she was dying, Lin! I did not know, in that exact moment, what to say! I did not want the last words she heard to be a rejection, so I said what I could to make her know I was happily married without hurting her further.�
�

  “So, you told her you love her, as well? What you are not understanding is that, in that moment, you chose her feelings over mine. Even if you did not know I would hear, you had an opportunity to do right by me, by us. Instead, you chose her.” Aislin breathed deeply and turned her body slightly away from him. He was losing her fast.

  “These were my exact words to her, Lin. I said, ‘I love you as well, Elwynna, but not in that way. I am in love with my wife.’ She whispered that she was glad I was happy and that it was good to at least see my face. So, I said it was good to see her face, as well.”

  His nerves were getting the best of him. He may well lose his wife over this, the one woman he had ever truly loved and the mother of his unborn child. He needed to make her understand. “I was scared. She was dying right in front of me and words could not come. I had gone from battling the enemy to carrying a wounded woman who confessed she still loveds me… and I just could not think! It was the wrong thing to say to her, Lin, and I am so truly sorry those words came out of my mouth but the truth is that I was not lying. I do love her, just not in the way she loves me. I will always care for her, Lin. You cannot make me not care for someone who was once so important to me. Can you not understand that there is a difference between loving someone for who they are and who they were, and truly being in love with someone? The way I am in love with you?”

  He was practically pleading now, but the shuttered look in her eyes and the slow nod of her head did not bode well for his circumstances. “I can see what you are saying, Alastar. I am not completely unreasonable and being envious is not an emotion I am used to feeling, or wish to ever feel again. Still, this is more than envy. Seeing you with her, like that? You say you do not love her the way you love me, but sometimes one’s actions prove their words false. You held her and allowed her to put her hands on your face the way I do. You touched her hair the way you touch mine. She was about to kiss you. Would you have gone along with that as well, simply to spare her feelings?” Her voice quivered and a small tear tracked down her face. He knew then that he had lost her.