by Mia Pride
Alastar grunted and closed his eyes.
“You are a fool.” Jeoffrey usually got to the heart of the matter using as few words as possible.
“Clearly,” Alastar murmured. “I am also cursed, for it seems every time Elwynna innocently comes near me, my wife walks in and hears everything out of context. I did nothing, Eoin. I love your sister very much, and all I have done is tell Elwynna this.”
“And yet you continue to flatter Elwynna with bonny words, and allow her intimate access to you.”
“She was changing my bandage, mate! Have you not heard? I am a useless invalid who has chased the only woman I have ever loved away because I am a loose-tongued fool.”
Jeoffrey shrugged and stepped in closer, standing beside the bed. “You will not hear any argument from me on that score.”
“My sister is a mess. You better fix this,” Eoin warned.
“So, you believe me when I say that I do not love Elwynna?” Hope soared in his chest. If her own family could still know the truth and would back him up on trying to win her over, all was not lost.
“You are a besotted fool and I have known this since we arrived from Alba. Do not forget the many moons I had to watch you watching her… listen to your disgusting praise for her arse as if I was not standing right beside you,” Eoin said with a dramatic shiver up his spine. “I do not think any man would so boldly pursue another man’s sister in front of him without the best of intentions. I know you have more honor than that.”
Eoin’s words hit Alastar right in the heart. It meant more than he could verbalize that his brother by marriage believed in his true intentions. “My thanks, Eoin. I have every intention of winning her back.”
“’Twill not be easy, especially with Elwynna staying on at Ráth Mór. You will need to thoroughly convince her, and she is a stubborn lass,” Jeoffrey warned. “Worse than my Clarice.”
“Who are you telling? But I got her to marry me, did I not? I got her to carry my child, did I not? I will get her back.”
“You better, because I have never seen her more miserable. I support you. My parents only want for her happiness and they do not know of your last blunder. Pray it stays that way.”
He would pray. He would pray to every god in Alba and Ériu, and even the gods of Albion and of the other Norsemen he had heard so much about. He needed to get well and then get his wife back.
“Before I can get her back, I must heal. Mayhap you can send me a young warrior to stay with me. Maggie will still tend to my wound. I just need help pissing.”
Eoin laughed. “Och, I think that is a perfect task for a young warrior. Mayhap he can wipe your arse, as well.”
“I will wipe my own arse. I need food. I need conversation. A game of Fidchell, occasionally. As soon as I am up and about, I will start my aggressive courtship of my own wife.”
Jeoffrey laughed. “You are a sorry sot, you know this?”
“More than you know,” Alastar groaned.
***
“Amos has been asking about you,” Leannan said as she nudged Aislin in the shoulder while they walked slowly through the market in their village. The mouth-watering scent of fresh bread wafted to her nose and she stopped in front of the baker’s cart.
“I will take three rolls of bread in exchange for a small hare I caught yesterday.” The baker nodded in agreement and handed over three loaves of bread to Aislin, who immediately tore a large chunk of the sweet, crunchy bread into her mouth before looking back at her cousin and queen. “I care not for Amos,” she said through the large haunch of bread in her mouth.
Leannan laughed and swatted her arm. “’Tis a wonder so many lads lust after you, Lin. You are disgusting.”
“Did you not know? Men like disgusting lassies. I swear it. The larger my belly swells, the more hills I climb, the more animals I hunt, and the more food I stuff in my face, the more the lads swoon. They like a dirty lass,” she shrugged. “And I do not care if you think I have nay manners. My babe is constantly hungry.”
Leannan rubbed her own swollen belly, much larger than Aislin’s, and put her hand out. “Give me some of that,” she laughed and ripped off a large bite with her teeth.
Aislin nudged her and nodded in approval. “See that? Tuathal would do aught for you if he saw you behave like an animal.”
Leannan blushed and laughed as she chewed. “Mayhap so,” she conceded. “I heard from my brother that Alastar is out of bed now. His wound is healing well.”
Over a sennight ago, Aislin’s younger cousin Duncan had been sent to take over the care of Alastar. She supposed that meant Elwynna had given up her post as caretaker… not that Aislin had asked or showed any interest.
Her heart ached worse than ever, but she had a lifetime’s worth of experience hiding her emotions. The more she distanced herself from all things to do with her former-husband, the better. She had made it quite clear by moving out and having her brother gather her belongings that her handfast with Alastar was over. That had opened her up to the old problem of lads trying to gain her interest. She had truly believed that with a babe in her womb, the men would be deterred. That was not the case, especially with Amos Mac Erwing, who had made his interest in her quite clear.
He was a very handsome man, she would give him that. He was a strong warrior with a ready grin, and dark hair with eyes to match. His strong jaw likened him to the gods she often saw images of and yet, she was still very much in love with her bastard of a husband. She couldn’t help but admire Amos’s form and, now that she knew the delights of the body and missed them dearly… especially with the sensitivity of her body while carrying a child… she had considered a night or two in his bed, if only to slake her lust. But that would not be wise. It had been so much easier avoiding lads and marriage before she knew what if felt like to lie with one.
She ached terribly for the touch of a man, and though she wanted only Alastar in her bed, that was never going to happen again. She would simply have to take care of her own needs.
“I am pleased to hear Alastar is doing well,” Aislin added as she chewed another bite.
“Are you? Truly?”
Aislin furrowed her brow and stopped in mid-step, hand on hip. “Of course, I am, Leannan. He is the father of my child. I need him hale.”
“That is the only reason?” her cousin cocked a perfect blonde brow in question.
With a huff, Aislin continued walking. “What does it matter? We are through. Nay doubt, now that he is mostly healed, he will begin his pursuit of Elwynna.”
“In that case, you should pursue Amos,” Leannan waggled her brows. “The way he looks at you is enough to set your skirts on fire.”
Aye, it was. And with the needs she had been suppressing for a fortnight, she was likely to lose her skirts altogether when he looked at her that way. She loved Alastar with her whole heart, but the man had been caught twice overly close to another lass while saying things no husband should say to anyone but his wife. She had no heart to give to another man, but she had a body ripe for the picking and if Amos was willing to bed a lass with a rounding belly, who was she to say nay to him?
She shook her head. What a ridiculous thought. Had she not only just a moment ago convinced herself that being with another man was a bad idea? She had only been with one and she had given everything to him. Was she even capable of being with a man purely for lust? She was not sure, but the throbbing down below needed to be relieved. She would take care of that later. It was muddling her thoughts.
“I cannot pursue Amos, Leannan. He needs a lass who is willing to give him much more than I can.”
Leannan scoffed. “Amos likes you, Lin but he is young, handsome, and enjoying his freedom. His eyes have been set on you, but do not fool yourself. The man is not interested in marrying you.”
“So, he is only interested in getting between my legs. That is what you are saying?”
Leannan blushed wildly and held a finger to her lips to shush her cousin. “Och, Aislin. You hav
e a loud and bold tongue. I did not say that. How can I truly know what he wants? I am only saying that it would not hurt to explore it… oh… oh! Here he comes,” Leannan whispered and nudged Aislin in the side, causing her to wince.
“Good afternoon, My Queen,” Amos said in a low deep voice, giving Leannan a respectful bow. “Good afternoon, Aislin,” he said smoothly, giving her the once-over and clearly taking in the overlarge cleavage that had been slowly spilling over the top of her tunic dresses.
“Hello, Amos,” Leannan said. “Does not my bonny cousin rather glow this day?”
Aislin flared her nostrils and glared at Leannan. Her cousin was a meddler of the highest order.
“Aye, I cannot help but agree, My Queen.” Again, his gaze swept over her, and she could not help the tingle of interest in her nether region. It had been far too long since a man looked at her like that. She knew first hand that a man such as he would be more than capable of fulfilling every silent promise his eyes made.
She remained mute and pretended to be disinterested. Casual encounters with this man could only be trouble. Why was Leannan being so bold suddenly? It was not like her at all.
“Right. Well, my husband will be awaiting me. I must finish here at the market and head home.” Leannan leaned in and gave Aislin a hug, whispering in her ear. “You need this, Lin. Let it happen.”
She took off in the other direction, leaving Aislin alone with Amos. Curse her cousin. Queen or not, she would pay for her deception later. “’Tis nice to see you, Amos. I was just going to take this bread back to my home and then head into the forest to check my traps for the day.”
He nodded and smiled. “Mayhap I can escort you?”
“To my home?” she asked. “I really do not require an escort, Amos.”
He shrugged his large shoulders and she saw his muscles pull tight against his blue tunic. “I know you do not require one. In truth, ‘tis more for my benefit, than yours. I enjoy your company.”
“Do you? I do not remember us ever being in one another’s company,” she added suspiciously.
He laughed, and the sound was slow and rich. “You have me there. Perhaps I believe I would enjoy being in your company. I will never know if you do not allow it.”
She shrugged. What harm could there be in walking with him a short distance? She could use the company. The past fortnight had been a constant misery for her, and she had to admit it would be nice to not feel alone, even if just for a moment. “Very well. So, Amos, where were you from, before Ráth Mór was built?” she asked, trying to find a neutral topic to focus on.
“I was from a very small tuath called Erdini. Have you ever heard of it?”
She nodded and smiled. “Aye, I have heard of it. I believe my father had visited there once or twice. My family is familiar with their king, Ewan. He aided them in the battle against Elim.”
“Aye, ‘tis our king. He is a good man. I believe his wife came from Darini, where your Uncle Brocc was king, before relocating here?”
She laughed at that. “Aye. Her name is Mealla. She is something of a legend in our family. She tried very hard to keep my uncle for herself, but his love for my Auntie Una was much too strong.”
“Och, aye. I have heard the tale. I feel bad for the lass. There is nay greater pain than unrequited love, is there?”
Aislin gave Amos the side eye. Was he speaking of her? Or himself? He chuckled at her glance. “You and I have something in common,” he said wryly. “We both are in love with people we cannot be with, aye?”
“You are in love with a lass here in Ráth Mór?” she asked, finding his honesty highly refreshing.
“Nay. ‘Twas back in Erdini. A lifetime ago, it seems. She…” he stopped and looked at her with sad eyes. “She was killed during a battle. We were to wed. ‘Tis why after the war, I came here for a fresh start. Though once you truly love a person, I find ‘tis much too hard to move on.”
“I see.” Aislin chewed her bottom lip. Why was he telling her all of this? She believed he was interested in her, and though she had no interested in a relationship with a man, his sudden change of mood had her off kilter.
“Do you? I am not certain you do,” he added mysteriously.
“Mayhap I do not. I appreciate your honesty, though I am unsure why you are sharing so much with me. We hardly know one another.”
“The woman I love is lost to me forever. Alastar is alive, by the grace of the gods, after his wound. Is this something you wish to waste on petty arguments?”
Anger and suspicious began to brew in her veins. “Did Alastar send you to speak on his behalf? Not that any of this is your business, but what happened between us was far from petty. I cannot trust him anymore and without trust, what is there?”
“Nay. He did not send me. Would a man send another man to seduce his own wife?”
“Seduce?” she scoffed. “You think highly of yourself.”
“You miss my point again.”
“Can you simply tell me your point, so we can be done with this conversation?”
“My point is that we are two people who are not interested in relationships with anyone, and cannot be with the ones we love. And yet, we have… needs.”
She stopped walking and narrowed her eyes. “I have nay interest in any involvement with any man.”
“Not even Alastar? Be honest now.” He quirked a brow at her and her irritation grew. He was a fine-looking man, but he was quickly starting to annoy her. “You know… there is one very good way to test a man’s feelings for a woman. Make him envious.”
Now Aislin saw where he was going with this, and she wanted no part of it. “I am above intentionally making him envious, Amos. If I were to choose to be with another man, it would be for my own reasons and not to hurt Alastar.”
They approached her home and stopped just outside the door. “I like you, Aislin. I would enjoy spending more time with you. Not to make Alastar envious, but because I believe we could have a mutually beneficial relationship that requires nay commitments, just… pleasure.”
The low tone of his voice made her tingle up her spine. Could she be so bold as to have such a relationship with a man? How badly her heart ached for Alastar, but she had to move on from those emotions. Mayhap Amos would be a pleasant distraction. “I will think on it.” That was all she was willing to offer now. She had never been kissed by another man in all her life. Alastar had taught her all she knew of love, and she was not certain she was ready to share that knowledge with another man.
Stepping closer, Amos placed his hands on either side of her waist and pulled her closer. She did not fight him then, nor did she resist when his dark head began to descend, his eyes locked on her lips. What harm could one kiss do? She needed to forget Alastar, even just for one moment in time. His lips grazed hers in a gentle tease, and she did not pull away or move closer.
He must have taken that as an invitation, for he suddenly deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue across her lips, begging for entrance… and she gave it. His kiss was sensual, and she knew he had much practice at this, much more than she had. Though he was a braw warrior and handsome man, she felt no spark. She was not melting the way she had melted when Alastar simply touched her hand. Alastar’s kiss had made her lose all thought, catch her breath, and made her want to cling onto him forever and let him do anything to her. This kiss, though enjoyable and sweet, did nothing to make her forget Alastar. If anything, it only made her think of him more. So much so, she swore she could hear his voice in her head.
“My thanks for all your help, Duncan.” Aye, that was his voice, but why would his voice in her head be thanking her cousin, Duncan? Such a strange thought. She tried to pull away from Amos, but his grip was firm and suddenly, his hands gripped her backside as his tongue continued to taste every corner of her mouth.
“I am glad I was able to help. You are family. Always will be,” Duncan replied and Aislin stiffened. Alastar’s voice was not in her mind. It was coming from her home and it
was growing louder by the second.
“I wish that were the case, Dun, but I am not so sure of anyth—” Alastar’s voice stopped in mid-sentence just as Amos and Aislin finally came up for breath. She wiped her lips to hide the evidence, but she was certain her mouth was red and raw from Amos’s scruffy beard.
“Aislin? Amos?” Alastar growled. “Get your hands off my wife!”
Alastar looked thinner, paler, and more vulnerable, yet the fire blazing in his eyes was enough to send her back a few steps. The last time he was this angry had been when Daniel cornered her at the lake. This was the first time she had seen him out of bed in almost a moon and to see him this way, jaw clenched, veins bulging in his neck and fists clenched, she felt as if she may vomit.
“She is not your wife anymore, as far as I have heard,” Amos replied coolly.
“She is my wife and she carries my child. Do not touch her.”
The possession in his voice angered her. “I made it clear to you that we are done, Alastar. I am sorry you just saw that, but it truly is none of your concern what I do.” Duncan, at the tender age of five and ten, stood beside Alastar with his jaw dropped, looking from her to Amos and back to Alastar, waiting to see if a fight would erupt.
Alastar pointed an accusatory finger in Amos’s face. “You are fortunate that I am too weak to kill you, Amos. And you,” he spun on Aislin and stepped closer to her, lowering his voice. “Are you trying to kill me?”
Her heart plummeted at the pain in his voice. “What? Nay, Alastar. I am glad to see you well again.”
He scoffed. “You have a strange way of celebrating it and if you think I am well, then you truly are blind.” He walked away with a limp as he held his chest wound. Though it had healed enough to allow him mobility, he still looked more vulnerable than she had ever seen him. His reaction to what he just witnessed made shame wash over her.
Nay. He deserved that. What she had witnessed Alastar saying to Elwynna on more than one occasion had killed her inside. She had meant what she said to Amos. She would never intentionally cause Alastar pain, envy, or distress. However, she was not his wife, and never truly had been. A handfast was a mutual agreement that either of them had always been free to walk away from, and she had. Still, why did she feel so ill? Why did she want to run after him, wrap her arms around him, and beg him to believe that it had been a sudden kiss and one she received no pleasure from?