by Amanda Ray
I took in a deep breath, waiting for her response. Waiting for her anger to fade but it didn't. Letty shook her head before taking a step away from me. "We never had a chance. Did we? Not really." She shook her head again, another step away from me. My hand fell from her face and tears fell down my cheeks. "We ended before we even started. And the sad part about it is that if you would have just told me about it... Told me about the dare, before we even became anything, I probably would have helped you out. Save us some time. You know how stubborn I am. I probably would have hopped right on board just to prove to you and everyone else," she gestured around to the people watching us in the parking lot, "that not every girl could fall in love with you. But the reality of it would have been the same. You would have been right. Any girl could fall in love with you. And that's what really sucks." I looked at her, blurry through my tears. Letty shook her head looking down at the ground, tears flowing down her face while she shook her head in defeat.
When she looked back up at me, she shrugged, "That's what's so fucked up about it all. You don't even have to do any of the consequences because you won, Brooks. You won. I fell for you. Hard. I was going to take you somewhere special. I had it all planned out," she let out a sad laugh, "Just us. Somewhere important and meaningful to tell you how I felt. But this. This was so much better. Wasn't it? Because now I know the truth before I got in too deep. But it's okay because I've been on my own for so long, I can do it again. I've already lost everything that matters to me, what's one more? Huh?" Letty reached over and grabbed Savvy's hand. Tears in both of their eyes as they looked at Nate and I.
"It was nice knowing you for a little while. Thank you, for making me hate you again." They turned away and I gripped my chest. A pain so sharp hit me where my heart is and I could swear it was trying to escape my chest to go with her. Before they could walk away Savvy turned back, walked straight up to Nate and slapped him across the face. He gripped his cheek, tears glistening in his eyes as he looked at her with such longing. "I trusted you. You promised no secrets and you were holding on to the biggest one of all. You and me? What we were doing? What we had? It's done. We're done. We're no longer friends. You got it?" Nate blinked and I watched as tears poured down his face as Savvy turned, grabbed Letty's hand and they walked away into the darkness.
I collapsed to my knees, watching as the girl who held my heart, my whole world, left me. I wanted to run after her. I wanted to scream. But nothing would make this better. Nothing could bring her back. Someone came over and clapped my shoulder, "Well, well, that was a shit show if I ever saw one."
Ky.
My blood boiled at the sound of his voice but I couldn't bring myself to respond, still watching the darkened road that Letty had just walked. "We all heard her admit to falling for you so I guess you're out of the woods and you don't have to complete any consequences. Nice job, buddy. See you at practice. Have a good rest of your night guys." Ky laughed, looking between Nate and I before swinging his arm around Serena and walking away.
I mustered up enough strength to rise to my feet. Attempting to pull myself together I turned toward Nate just in time to get a fist to my face. What the actual fuck?! "Ow! What the fuck?" I yelled, gripping my jaw but then a second later he hit me again. This time blood gushed out of my nose and I stumbled backward. "Nate! What the fuck!"
"Fuck you, B! You should have told her! The minute you admitted to having feelings for her for real, you should have fucking told her!" Nate bellowed at me, gripping the collar of my suit. “I told you to tell her and you kept stalling!” I pushed him off, watching as he gripped his chocolate wavy hair in his hands. "I couldn't tell her because of you! Because you're my boy. My brother. I should have fucking told her!" Savvy. He was pissed about Savannah and I couldn't fault him for it. If I could take it all back, if I could change things I would.
"Nate, I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry." He paced back and forth in front of me, yanking at his hair harder and harder, tears slowly making their way down his face. "You don't know, B. You know nothing. But....she's....I can't look at you right now." He shook his head, stopping directly in front of me before taking a deep breath. Nate's gray eyes pierced through me, "I love you, B. You're family. You know that. But right now....right now, I want nothing to fucking do with you. I need some space until I can figure out how to fix this with Savvy, and you need to find a way to fix it with Letty, because that girl,” he gestured toward where they walked away, “That girl is probably the best thing that's ever happened to you, man." I nodded my head in understanding. Yeah. I know. "Happy fucking new year, B. I'll see you around." And just like that he was gone and I was left standing by myself. Heartbroken, friend-less -at the moment since everyone else had followed Kyle back inside and Nate was my only true friend; he was family- and alone.
He's right though. She was the best thing that's ever happened to me and if she was true about being in love with me then I needed to do everything I could to get her back. I'd do anything to make her mine again. Because I wanted her back. I needed her back. She was everything and I was nothing without her now. It's true what they say that the heart can fall fast. That we don't choose who we fall in love with, we just do. The heart wants what it wants and I wasn't going to let a stupid mistake, a fucking dare, get in the way of it. Of us. I wasn't going to stop until she was mine again and this time I'd never let her go.
Chapter 32
Brooks
Three weeks and nothing. Three weeks of me calling, texting, showing up to her apartment and nothing. Well, I shouldn't say nothing. At one point she opened up the door and threw a pie at me before Savvy came out and told me to go before it turned into a bat. I didn't go though. I had stayed there all night until a neighbor said they were going to call the cops. I just wanted her to listen. To let me explain. I'd been playing like shit during the past few games and coach Jones wasn't having it. He told me that if I didn't pull myself together and play my heart out in tonight's game then I was out for the rest of the season. We have the beginning of the playoffs tonight and I need to be on my A game.
I sauntered over to the fridge, propping it open and dying to grab a beer but opting for a water instead. My front door opened and closed, before I could sit down Nate was in the doorway. "You look like shit, B." I looked up at him, "Yeah. So do you, man." Bags under his eyes, he looks like he hasn't slept in about as long as I have. "Savvy still not talking to you?" Nate grabbed a Gatorade from the fridge before plopping down on a huff next to me, "Nope. I don't know if she's ever going to but..." I nodded my head filling in the rest of his sentence, "you need her to."
"Yeah," he breathed out. "She's my best friend, man. I don't know how to win her trust back." I looked over at him shaking my head before punching him in the arm, "First of all, fuck you for the insult. I'm your best friend, bitch. Second of all, I don't understand why she's so mad at you anyway."
"Because I didn't tell her about the dare. Because I lied."
"Okay? But you lied by omission. The dare had nothing to do with you and Savannah and everything to do with me and Letty."
"You don't get it, B. We...when we...." Nate let out a puff of air, "just forget it. I lied to her and she hates me for it. That's all you really need to know."
"Ummm," I narrowed my eyes at him, "I call fucking bullshit. When are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on between you two?"
Nate let out a sad laugh, shaking his head before putting it in his palms, "Nothing's going on between us. She hates me. And I don't know how to fix it." I clapped him on his back, "We'll figure it out, Nate. We're gonna get them back. I promise. We're gonna get them back." But I wasn't sure if I was saying it because it was true or because I wanted it to be true.
After a run and a shower I packed up my stuff to head to the arena. Tonight's game was a home game and I needed every advantage I could get at this point. I arrived an hour early, attempting to go through my ritual which now consisted of texting Letty right before I did some push ups.
Me: Please just talk to me. Even if you want to scream. Even if you tell me to fuck off. I need to talk to you Letty.
Nothing. I didn't expect an answer but I needed her to know how much I missed her. How much I needed her.
Me: I can still feel you all over me. The warmth from being inside you. The way your tongue and your pussy tastes. I need more. This isn't over Letty. Please just talk to me. Let me explain.
I almost had a heart attack when I saw the little bubbles appear on the bottom. She was responding!
Letty: FUCK. OFF. And LEAVE ME ALONE.
That was not what I expected but it was something. She responded which meant I was getting to her. She was coming around.
Me: Fuck baby. Please just give me five minutes to talk to you. It was a stupid fucking game and if I knew you were guna mean this much to me I woulda told everyone to go fuck themselves.
Me: Letty come on. Please!
Me: I miss you so much.
Me: I need you.
Five minutes passed and my teammates started to fill the locker room.
Me: Letty I'm not letting this be the end of us. You hated me once before. We can get through this. I know we can!
Me: Please just give me a chance. Give us a chance. I love you.
My heart kicked up a beat when the bubbles appeared again.
Letty: And what if I don't want to.
Me: What?
Letty: What if I don't want us to get through this? What if I don’t want to give you a chance? What if I want us to be done? Cause I'm done Brooks. I'm done. We're done. Just stop texting me. I don't love you. Not anymore.
I had to grab onto the bench. Everything was spinning when I read that last text. My phone dropped and I had to bite my inner cheek to keep from crying in front of my fucking team. She doesn't love me anymore? Nate came over clapping me on the shoulder, "You ready to go out there and kill these fuckers?" I nodded and picked up my phone. I tuned everything out and got ready for the game. She doesn't love me anymore. She doesn't love me anymore. She doesn't love me. We're over. We're done.
When I got on the ice I wasn't focused. My mind kept swimming with Letty's last text. Anger and hurt zoomed through my body. I wasn't playing like myself. I wasn't myself. I was a ghost of myself. I body checked everyone I could see, starting fights and getting placed in the penalty box more times than I could count during my entire life as a hockey player. Nate was off, too but still managed to get us two goals. My coach threatened to pull me out but we had five minutes until the end of the game and I needed to suck down my goddamn pride and be there for my team. I got back on the ice with Nate, giving him a hit on his helmet, "We got this brother." He looked over at me, wariness in his eyes, grinned and asked, "You good?" I nodded and flashed him a fake smile.
The puck dropped and I scooped it up quick, flinging it over to Kyle before zooming past two of the Texas State players. Ky shot the puck to Drew who then passed it to me and I faked a slap shot, watching as the other team shot a glance to see if I made it in. Only then, when their eyes were focused on the goal, did I actually shoot the damn puck and howl when the red light flashed above the net telling me I scored. Three minutes left in the game and we lined back up at the blue line. Texas players were throwing out insults, all of which I ignored because the one insult that would get to me was already in my head. She didn't love me. I faintly heard someone say Nates name and then the puck dropped. I focused on the little black disc, sweeping it up and watching it glide as I slid it over to Nate'sNate's empty stick. I barreled down the ice waiting for the moment whenwhere he would pass it back but before I could get into position I heard whistles and screams pour through the air. What the fuck?
I turned around watching as half of our teams were fighting out on the ice. Piling on each other, gloves and helmets off. I skated over trying to break people apart when I noticed blood pooling out on the ice. Fuck. Typically a little blood wasn't that big of a deal. Hell, sometimes players would go home without any teeth, but this looked like a hell of a lot more than a couple of teeth missing. I pushed through the players, yelling at my guys to cut the shit. I saw medics running onto the ice with a stretcher and medical bags as the refs and coaches tried to clear the way. I managed to use my capain card to make a hole out of the fuckers but when I did I collapsed to my knees. "Nate?"
My best friend laid there, helmet off and blood gushing out of his head. "Nate!" I slid across the ice, smearing blood all over my uniform, "Hurry the fuck up! Someone call 9-1-1! Now!" My voice boomed through the quiet stadium as everyone paused and looked down to see his lifeless body. The medics put him in a neck brace, wrapped his head and carefully placed him on a backboard before putting him on a stretcher. I followed them out, not giving a shit about the rest of the game and sat in the back of the ambulance as they sped us toward the hospital. I could give a shit if I played the rest of the season, I needed to make sure my best friend was alright.
I didn’t care if I was benched or suspended for the rest of the season, I just needed to make sure my best friend was going to be okay.
I grabbed his cold hand, tears filling my eyes, "Come on, man. Wake up. Don't do this to me. Not you too. You can't leave me, too. Wake up, Nate. You gotta wake up." I looked over at the EMT who was checking his vitals. "He's gonnagonna be okay, right?" She looked at me and gave me a small smile that told me she had no clue what to tell me at this point what to say. My heart clenched. I couldn’t breathe. I looked back at my best friend, grabbed his hand tighter and let my tears flow.
Chapter 33
Letty
It was two in the morning when I heard non-stop buzzing. I kicked over at Savvy who had fallen asleep on the other side of the couch. "Get your phone," I groaned, my head already pounding from how much tequila we drank. Ever since the auction we made it a point to do everything we could to get Brooks and Nate out of our heads. To try to move on. Try to escape their memory. At least that's what I was doing. So for the past three weeks every single time they had a game Savvy and I would stay home, blast some music and get shit faced. And that's exactly what we did last night.
"Mmmm. Canshluberada," Savvy responded, her face still suffocated in the pillow cushion. "Mmmm. Right back." I kicked her harder, acting like a two year old throwing a tantrum because I didn't want to move and I wanted her phone to stop with its obnoxious buzzing. I must have kicked her too hard because she fell off the couch with a loud bang and yelled, "Fucker!" I peeked out of one eye and watched as she blindly grabbed for her phone off the coffee table. Knocking over shot glasses and salt she put the phone to her ear, wincing at the voice on the other line. "Jesus. Can you lower your fucking voice. I swear it's like you have a megaphone and I'm not prepared for it right now. It's two in the freaking morning and I'm hungover, Brooks. What the fuck do you want? You're lucky I even answered the damn call and that's only because I wanted it to stop buzzing and didn’t look at the caller ID." She moaned out, eyes still shut. Brooks? Why the hell is he calling? And why is he calling her?
Whatever he said had Savvy jumping up from the floor and grabbing my leg, "What!" She screeched out. "Wha- okay. I'm on my way. I'll be there soon," her voice was rushed, breathless and I inched up from the couch. My nerves starting to get the better of me. "What's going on?" I asked her but she didn't respond. Her eyes were wide as she listened to him on the phone, "I don't know. I'll take the bus or call an Uber or something. I'm coming. Okay. Bye." The minute she ended the call she ran from the room, grabbing her purse and throwing on shoes. The hangover we were both feeling, now gone. "Sav? What the hell is going on?" She looked over at me as I stood up from the couch, tears brimming her eyes, "Nate's in the hospital. He's in a coma and has a broken arm. I need to go." What?! Before I could even think I ran to grab my purse, phone and shoes, "I'm coming with you." We ran out the door and called an Uber.
When we got to the hospital we ran to the room that Brooks had told her Nate was in and my chest tightened when I followed Savvy inside. Nate looked
like a ghost, lying still as a statue on the hospital bed. Right arm slung in a cast while his head was bandaged up with white gauze. I saw Savvy almost fall to the ground and I grabbed her arm to steady her before walking her over to the bed.
Brooks sat huddled over the foot of Nate’s hospital bed, elbows resting atop while his hands gripped the back of his hair. When he looked up at us his tear stained face almost sent me spiraling. I wanted to hate him. Hell, a part of me did hate him but the way he looked right now made me want to run over and hold him. I wanted to make this better but I couldn't. I wouldn't.
"What happened?" I whispered, breaking eye contact from him and looking back at a pale Nate. Intravenous bags were hanging and he had wires hooked up all over his chest. If I didn't know any better I would have thought he was dying. Brooks wipes his face before clearing his throat, "A few players from the other team body checked him into the plexi glass so hard that his helmet came off at the first hit and before he could even acknowledge it, someone else hit him. His arm broke from the brutal second hit and when he went down without his helmet on he cracked his head on the ice. The doctor said there's some bleeding on his brain and they had to put him in a medically induced coma until it goes down but that there's no way of knowing if there's permanent damage until he wakes up."
I heard Savvy let out a sob and I leaned over to hug her, rubbing her back. "When will he wake up?" She asked through tears. Brooks shrugged, wiping away a few tears, "They're hoping the swelling goes down in a few days but they said it's different with every case. Every person. I don't know." I looked over at Nate, my chest getting tighter. As much as I was mad at them, Nate had become a good friend and I knew he meant a lot to Savannah whether she wanted to admit it or not. "What about his parents? Where are they?" I asked Brooks but it was Savvy who answered. "His mom lives in New York and his dad is away in the UK on... business. He's an art dealer. Have you called them?" She looked at Brooks who nodded, "Yeah. His mom is driving here, it'll take her a few hours but I couldn't get in touch with his dad. I left a message. I just figured you'd want to know, that's why I called."