by Amanda Ray
Savannah smiled at Brooks and nodded. I looked over watching him as he stared at his best friend, my heart broke a little more. The guy I'm in love with is sitting in front of me broken and afraid and there's nothing I can do to help. But do you really want to? He broke your heart. He lied. He used you. I shook my head, ridding it of its thoughts. I couldn't think about all of that right now. I needed to be here for Savvy. For Nate. And yes, even for Brooks.
With a heavy sigh I squeezed Savvy's shoulders, "I'm going to go get some coffee and some aspirin for us. Maybe see if the shitty cafè downstairs has anything good. I'll be right back, okay?" She nodded, eyes still focused on Nate's still body. I looked back at Brooks, "Do you want anything?" He glanced up at me, his fragile eyes making me feel things I wish I didn't. He gave me a sad smile, "Maybe some coffee? And a hug?" My eyes shifted back and forth looking at his glistening emeralds. I knew that I shouldn't. That I should just say no and walk out to get the coffee but my mind had other plans and before I knew it, I was walking toward him.
Brooks stood up slow from the chair and the minute I got in front of him, he wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me in. My breath caught and I swallowed over the lump in my throat the minute his scent hit me. He smelled like laundry detergent, sweat and something purely Brooks. My eyes fluttered closed, I felt him tighten his hold as his nose went to my hair, inhaling. God, I missed being in his arms. My chest fluttered and I swallowed the lump building in my throat, it took everything in me to push away from him. Brooks held me at a distance before softly nodding, letting me go.
I walked out of the hospital room in a daze. I walked down the hall to the elevators and the minute I entered and the doors closed behind me, my back hit the wall as I let out a deep sob. Not only was I scared for my friend but I wanted to protect her heart because if anything happened to Nate, who knows what would happen to Savvy. And the worst part about it was that the one person I wanted to comfort me -needed to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright - was the one person who had just shattered my heart to a million pieces. And if I thought for one second that I was moving on over these past three weeks, it all went to shit the moment he hugged me. The moment I felt his warmth. His love, wrapped in his arms.
Because the one thing I knew for sure, was that as much as I hated Brooks Holland for what he did to me -for lying and using me - he had too much power over me. But isn't that what happens when you love someone? They chip away at all of your armor, your walls, until they all disappear? Giving them every bit of entry, every bit of power over you? They own your heart and damn, did Brooks Holland own mine. I just didn't know if I wanted that to change.
Chapter 34
Brooks
It's been four days since Nate's accident and he still hasn't woken up. The doctors said the swelling in his brain from the blood has gone down and at this point it's up to Nate when he wants to wake up. His mom showed up the first night promising to give me updates when I needed to go home to shower and sleep. The semester doesn’t start until Monday so I've been able to stay with Nate as much as I can but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it more when the girls were there.
Savannah and Letty have come every single day. Mostly Savvy, but Letty is never far behind. I don't know if it's because she can sense that I need her or someone but Letty's been there for me. Bringing food and magazines, she even brought me a pillow for the chair that I've claimed in the hospital room. Losing her has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through but having her here with me through everything that's going on with Nate, has just shown me how much I need her. I physically need this girl and the moment Nate wakes up I'm going to prove it to her. Letty and I are perfect for each other and I'll do everything in my power to make her see that. We're not done. I'll be damned if she thinks we are. But right now, my priorities are Nate. Nate, then Letty.
"Hey," I looked up to see my beautiful girl standing in the doorway. I smiled, "Hey. Come in."
"How's he doing? Any changes?" She leaned over to his bed, staring down at his lifeless body. His color has come back and he's breathing on his own but he still looks like shit. "Doctor still says it's on his timeline when he wants to wake up." Shrugging, I looked over at Nate. I shook my head, "I just hope the fucker does it soon. I miss my best friend." Letty looked over at me. Our eyes locked for a moment before she looked away. Walking over to me she handed me a brown, greasy bag, "I got you a burger and some wings from Wade's. If you want something to drink just let me know I'll run downstairs to grab you something." I peeked in the bag and smiled at the delicious smell. I closed my eyes, fighting with my body because all I wanted to do was pull her in and slam my lips to hers as a thank you. Instead I grabbed her hand. Our fingers laced as I looked up at her from my chair, "Thank you, Letty." Her breath hitched and she looked down at our hands before slowly pulling away.
"Yeah. No problem." She said breathlessly and I knew I was getting under her skin. I needed her to remember. I needed her to know that no matter how much distance she put between us, the spark we had wasn't going away. I wasn't going away. "Here. Sit. Watch something with me for a little while we wait." Letty looked between me and the arm of the chair that I had just gestured to. There was a bigger chair in the corner that turned into a pull out couch for those who spent the night with the patients but I wanted to prove a point. I wanted to see if she would actually choose to sit so close to me on the chair because if she did, it meant that I still had a chance. I still had hope.
Letty glanced over at the couch but I shifted bringing her eyes back down to me and with a small smirk I said, "I won't bite. I promise." With a tiny sigh she sat down on the arm of the chair and I whispered, "This time."
She threw her head to the side to glare at me, hitting me in the chest, I laughed. God, that felt good. It felt like us. "Oh, come on. Lighten up. I'm only playing. Kinda." I threw my arms around her waist and pulled her down onto my lap. She struggled a little before letting out a huff, "Brooks. Let me go! I thought you wanted to watch something!"
I smiled down at her wiggling form, "I do. But I wanted to be comfortable."
"And me being in your lap makes you comfortable?"
"Hell yeah, it does." I laughed, watching her as she still struggled to try to get out of my hold. "Keep wiggling around like that and my dick is going to salute you in about three seconds, baby."
Letty's body stiffened and I let out a laugh. She sat up slowly, her back facing me as she looked back at me over her shoulder with a smirk. I cocked my eyebrow at her just before she swirled her hips, grinding down on my jean clad dick, a groan slipped out of me. I gripped her hips and leaned up so my mouth was at her ear, "I said don't do that, baby girl." But to Letty, that just gave her more incentive. She ground down harder on me and my fingers dug into her hips as I thrusted upward biting my lip when I heard a whimper escape her. Fuck, I wanted her bad.
"Letty," my voice was low and raspy as I bit her ear lobe, "if you do that one more time, you're going to leave me no choice but to fuck you right here, right now, in front of Nates sleeping body." She cocked her head at me and smirked like this was her plan all along. "I thought you said you wouldn't bite?" I smiled at her, moving closer so that our lips were millimeters from each other, "And I thought I told you not to grind on my dick, baby. Sometimes the best things in life are the things we're not supposed to do." Her hot breath hit my lips and I parted them leaning in.
"Please, tell me you guys are not about to fuck on that chair in front of me." Letty and I whipped our heads around at the sound of Savvy's groan as she entered the room. Letty shot up out of the chair; out of my lap, shaking her head and I discreetly adjusted my massive erection trying to escape my pants just as someone said, "They were." We all flung our heads over to the sound of Nate's voice. "Oh my God." Savvy dropped the drinks she had just walked in with and I flew up from the chair running to his bedside.
Savannah reached down to cup his face and Nate gave her a weak smile. "So
I guess this means you forgive me?"
"Shut the fuck up," she said, shaking her head while she leaned down to kiss him on his cheek barely missing his lips. "How you feeling, bro? You scared the shit outta me!" Nate laughed at me, clapping me on the shoulder, "I've got a massive headache and I feel like I was just hit by a Mack truck but other than that I'm good." He nodded over to Letty and she smiled, grabbing his foot in a warm gesture, "I'm really glad you're okay, Nate. You had us all worried."
He smiled, chuckling hoarsely like this wasn't even a big deal, "Well, I'm glad my being in a hospital brought the band back together. Are my parents here?" I nodded, "We're not back together yet. But it's a start," I glanced over a Letty before looking back to Nate. "You're mom just went back to my apartment to take a shower. She's gonna be pissed she wasn't here when you woke up, man. Your dad said he was going to catch the next flight out. We couldn't get in touch with him because he was in some top secret art shit or whatever, but your mom just spoke to him yesterday." Nate chuckled and nodded, "Yeah. Maybe don't tell mom I woke up yet? Should I pretend to still be asleep until she gets here?"
Savannah smacked his chest, shaking her head, "No, asshole. Don't do that! I'll go call your mom and get the doctor. They're probably gonna wanna ask you questions and check you out. I'll be right back." Another nod and then Nate looked at me and Letty, "Can I get some water?” My girl jumped to it before I even looked up. Nate took a long sip before asking, “How long have I been out?" I let out a sigh, "Four days."
"Shit."
"Yeah."
"Well, damn. No wonder you guys were so shocked when I woke up."
"Shut the fuck up!" I laughed at my best friend. God, I missed him. The minute the doctor came in Letty and I stepped outside to give them some space. I was just about to say something when she patted my arm, "Well, I'm glad he's okay. I'm going to head out now. I'll tell Savannah that I'm leaving but I think she'll probably stay a while to help out with Nate. It was good to see you, Brooks." She looked down at the white floor before giving me a small smile and walking away. What. The fuck. Just. Happened.
Chapter 35
Letty
I closed and locked the door behind me before sliding down to the floor. A quiet sob escaped my lips before the tears started to stream down my face. Why did I do that?
The emotional term-oil from today had finally gotten to me and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. The happiness of Nate waking up and seeing my best friend's relief over it made me want to cry tears of joy, but I wasn't crying because of that. The minute Brooks tempted me with a seat right next to him, I should have known. I shouldn't have done it. I should have taken a breath and walked over to the couch or hell, I should have walked out the damn door! But I was weak. I gave in to him, like I always would because the pull he has over me is no longer controllable.
I thought that if I convinced myself I hated him I could stay away. I could forget about him. But being near him shakes me to my core - and not in a bad way. I'm like a moth to a flame and even though I know it's bad for me I still move toward it. Toward him. The second his hands grabbed my waist and pulled me on top of him, I wanted to scream, fight, run. Not because I didn't like it, but because all I wanted to do was stay in his arms forever and that scared the shit out of me. So instead, I fought, wiggled and attempted my escape. But like any good fucked up love story, the girl doesn't do what's "best" for her and instead I decided to take control. Play his game.
When Brooks warned me not to grind on him it was like the devil stood in front of me, telling me to do exactly that. I needed to show him that I was in control of me. That I had the power. Because if he knew just how much I loved him he'd know how much control, how much power he has over me and I wasn't about to let that happen.
My attempt backfired though, like adding gasoline to a fire. When he gripped my hips and thrusted his jean clad cock into me all I wanted to do was rip our clothes off and go at it right there, witnesses be damned. If it wasn't for Savvy's timely entrance I think I actually would have and I'm terrified about that. He hurt me in a way that I never thought was possible. Brooks became a part of me. People say that when you lose someone you love, or they break your heart, they always take a piece of it with them. But in Brooks' case, he took the whole damn thing.
He'd been the only guy, hell, the only person that had gotten under my ironclad armor completely. He knows things about me and my past that Savvy -my best friend in the entire world- doesn't even know. He touched my soul in a way I never thought possible and he's so ingrained in my memories that I don't think I could ever forget him even if I tried to move on. And the worst part about it all was that I actually believed he truly loved me. The one person I ever gave my full heart to and he only took it because of a stupid dare. It had nothing to do with us. With me. But everything to do with someone else challenging him. And that right there just couldn't be fixed. My trust was broken. Or, at least, it was dented and I didn’t know if it could ever be fully restored in him.
I grabbed a hold of my locket, twirling it in my fingers before getting up from the floor and grabbing a bottle of wine. Might as well drown my sorrows. I sauntered over to the counter, popped open the cork and downed a swig straight from the bottle. I smiled down at the deliciously sweet moscato before throwing my clothes off and entering the bathroom. A steaming hot shower with some wine should take away my wallowing, I thought. The steam enveloped the bathroom and the hot water eased into my tender muscles. My eyes shut, relishing in the feeling of the water and the booze but the second I let my mind relax, images of Brooks ran rampant.
I tried to shake my head to rid them but before I realized what I was doing, my hand had moved down between my legs and I relaxed back into the tile wall. Feeling, touching, stroking my wet center to the thought of Brooks taking me everywhere and anywhere. In the bathroom against the tiled wall. In the kitchen on the counter. In the bedroom from behind. My orgasm built and built and within minutes I was screaming out his name as I came undone. I slowly slid my fingers out, breath unsteady and sank down to the tub crying. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to not want him. Fuck, I wanted to just be mad at him. But the reality of it was, I think that there will never be a day that I could possibly hate Brooks Holland ever again. I don't think I ever really did.
Sucking in a deep breath, I stood up, washed myself clean and turned off the water. Grabbing a towel to wrap around myself I stared at my foggy reflection in the mirror. He didn't break you. You're stronger than this. My subconscious was right and it took just another breath before I felt more confident. I may still love him, I may always love him, but I will not let him tear me apart. I will not let him have that kind of power over me. He can have my heart but he won't take my strength. I made it before him and I'll make it after him. I nodded my head to myself before sauntering out of the bathroom to grab some clothes.
Taking another swig from the near empty bottle of wine, I dropped my towel and went to go turn on some music but just then there was a knock at the door. I groaned before snatching the towel up from the floor and wrapping it around me once more. Savvy probably forgot her key again and I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't be having more naked dance time to celebrate my new found confidence again. More knocking came and I stomped my feet. Jeez, she's being impatient. "I'm coming! Jesus! Give me a minute!" I yelled, my damp hair leaving water droplets throughout the apartment. The knocking grew louder and I grabbed the handle swinging it open and yelling, "What the fu-" my words were cut short when Brooks came in darting past my stunned body.
He swung around to face me and I stood there, gripping the half opened door in nothing but a white towel. "Wh-what are you doing here? What do you want?" I stuttered out. That new found confidence I had just had? Now sinking to the floor with my stomach as I stood there nervous as hell watching Brooks stare at me.
He took a step forward and I gripped the door tighter. Please don't come near me. I won't be able to control myself and all I have right no
w is that. He stopped, glaring at me before his eyes raked up and down my almost naked body. "Fuck. You." He bellowed and my eyes went wide. My chest constricted and I could feel a panic attack arising. Or was it an anger attack? I pushed it down. Taking a deep breath, my eyes closed before narrowing them at him. He's got to be fucking kidding me.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me!" He bellowed. I slammed the door, getting right up to his face before I pushed his chest. "Don't come into my house and curse me out! Fuck you, Brooks!" I pushed him again but this time he grabbed my wrists and pulled me in. His lips met mine hard and I whimpered when he whispered, "Yes, please."
Chapter 36
Brooks
Nothing else matters. Just her. Just me. Just us. I thread my fingers through her hair, pulling just hard enough to get her head to tilt back and give me better, deeper access to her mouth. My tongue slips inside, possessive. I need her to know that she's mine. She's all mine. And I'm undeniably hers. My tongue is roaming, lapping up all thatat she's giving me and when I hear Letty whimper I pull away, nibbling on her bottom lip before pulling it between my teeth. Her shocked gasp only revs up my adrenaline. My lust. My desire. For this. For her.
My hands leave her hair, tracing down her still wet body. Feeling her shiver and quake beneath my touch only makes my dick stand to attention. My husky hands take a nice squeeze of her firm ass before lifting her up and relishing her warmth when her legs instinctively wrap around my waist, her arms grip my shoulders for stability. Her towel falls and a low growl escapes me. I pace over to the nearest wall, slamming Letty's body into it before taking her peaked nipple into my warm, wet mouth. Swirling and flicking my tongue over it before sucking and biting down just enough to hear her cry out. I thrust her chest deeper into my mouth. I’m starving for her. Aching to get every ounce that I can.