by Amanda Ray
My dick's throbbing, pulsing and yelling at me. I pay it no mind, only wanting to focus on how good it feels to have her on me. How amazing and entrancing it is to hear her moans, groans, whimpers and cries. Fuck, I missed this. "We're not over, Letty. You hear me." I bite down harder, her shocked gasp fueling me to push her into the wall more. I don't know how much longer I can hold out if she's going to be making noises like that. I want to hear it all, feel it all, but goddamn I think if she continues with her sexy pants and noises I might just come in my pants.
Letty grips my hair, pulling me back, breaking the contact. "You lied to me, Brooks! I don't think I can forgive you for that. You acted like I meant something to you and I believed you. I trusted you. I let you in and it was all a lie." The tears in her eyes make my heart clench. My stomach plummets to the floor and I have to swallow a few times before I can get my words out. Shit. She's going to make me cry like a fucking baby. "It wasn't a lie!" I kiss her, hard, fierce and manic, "I never lied to you about how I felt about you, Letty. Never." I thrust upward, my trapped cock aching in pain as it yells at me to release it. Craving and wanting her warmth.
She throws her head back, arching her perfectly round breasts into my face and I take full advantage taking my time sucking and squeezing one after the other. "It was all a game to you. A joke. I was a joke." I trail kisses from her chest, up to her neck before lightly biting and grazing my teeth between her collarbone and the crevice of her neck, "You were never a joke, baby. You were everything. You are everything." Her arms grip my shoulders tighter and I use the new position to cup her cheeks, pinning her to the wall with my body, "Look at me, Letty. Baby, look at me in the eyes." Her eyes flutter open, filled with unshed tears. "What we had. What we have, is so much more than that stupid fucking game. I should have told you, yes. That's on me. And fuck me because if I could go back in time I would have told you sooner. But I wouldn't change anything else." Letty gasps and I hurry to finish before she gets the wrong idea, "If I never agreed to that dare...If I never played that game...then you and I never would have gotten so close. I never would have spilled things to you that no one else knows. I never would have opened up my heart and soul to you." I kiss her, begging her to understand.
My forehead rests on hers, hands still cupping her cheeks. My eyes close, my heartbeats erratic, "I never would have fallen in love with you, Letty. And my God, that would have been a goddamn tragedy because what I feel for you, is beyond anything I could have ever imagined. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I see before I go to sleep. You're on my mind constantly. I'll be at the fucking store and wonder if you'd like the bag of chips that are on sale. When my phone beeps my heart fucking flutters at the thought that it might be you and fuck me if you're not my every goddamn fantasy. You've become a piece of me. Like a limb that was always invisible but the second it -you- were taken away it was like a piece of me was gone and I felt empty. Alone. Broken.” I have to take a deep breath, swallowing the lump in my throat, “A part of me died the day Braiden did and I never thought I'd get that part back, but then you walked into my life. All sassy and sexy. A spit fire. I hated you. God, did I hate you. I thought you were this pain in the ass know-it-all. But then you went and turned my whole world upside down...only... I realized that it was already upside down before. I was living upside down when Braiden died, but then I got dared to get you to fall for me and then I got to know you. Got to know myself again. And my world turned rightside up again. I wasn't looking at things the wrong way anymore. I could see everything for what it was, what it could be. You made everything better, brighter. The minute I saw you laying on the couch in the library, stuffing your face with that freaking bag of popcorn that you love, everything changed. I changed. I want to do better. Be better. For you, Letty. I love you. I'm madly, deeply, uncontrollably and undeniably in love with you and I am so so sorry for breaking your trust."
My eyes were brimming with tears and I had to suck down a deep breath as I waited for her response. My heart's racing, sweats dripping down my back and I want nothing more than to devour her in love, and lust. She's taking too long to respond and I can't take it any longer. I kiss her hard. I swallow her gasp and wait for her to give me access. To open her mouth and let my tongue explore. I nibble on her lips, patiently waiting but she keeps them closed.
Letty's fingers tangle lightly in my hair and she turns my hard kiss into something soft, slow and torturous. I want to cry. I want to scream. I need answers. I need her to yell, scream, hit me. I need her to do something more. I deserve her wrath. I deserve her anger. But this, this is something light. Something filled with warmth and forgiveness.
"Letty..." I'm panting her name, pain etched across my face and I know she sees it when her eyes land on mine. "I know I hurt you. Fuck, I know I hurt you. And I fucking hate myself for it. What can I do to make it better? What can I do so that-"
Thwack
The sound of her palm hitting my face echoes throughout her apartment and I clench my eyes shut, slowly turning my face back to her. Tears fill my eyes, not because of the sting but because I'm so scared that this means we're over. That this is her goodbye.
Thwack
Thwack
Thwack
After each slap I come back each time, slowly and patiently. My eyes searching hers, waiting and wondering. Tears are running down my cheeks but she’s still not giving me an answer. Is she going to slap me again? Is she going to yell, speak, curse me out? Is she going to tell me this is goodbye? One more slap comes before her breath hitches and I hear the tiny cry slip from her lips. I look back at her quickly watching as tears fall down her face and I can't help more from escaping me either.
Letty buries her face into my neck, shaking and quivering. I hold her tight, walking us over to the couch before sitting down. Her naked body straddles mine and I run circles across her bare back with one hand while reaching for the throw blanket with the other. When I've wrapped it around her, I feel a slight kiss on my neck and I exhale sharply. God, please let her forgive me. I need her to forgive me.
My fingers brush her hair as I whisper, "Baby, I need to know what's going on in your head." She sits up abruptly, gripping the throw closer around her body. She looks down, shaking her head before looking back up. My girl's eyes are wet and red from her tears. Her cheeks tear stained and flushed. My thumbs run under her eyes, swiping away the tears I so desperately want to go away. I want to protect her. I want to make her happy. I need to make her happy. Letty’s eyes flutter closed at the contact and when she opens them I give her a small smile, waiting for her to answer me.
My stomach is in knots and my pulse is skyrocketing. I never knew that being in love could make you feel so goddamn vulnerable. "Baby-" I don't get a chance to finish my thought because Letty blurts out, "I hate you."
Chapter 37
Letty
"I hate you! I really fucking hate you!" A sob catches in my throat and I stand up hastily, almost tripping over Brooks' feet in the process. He's looking at me with such hurt and confusion. Like he doesn't know whether to cry or yell. "You hurt me. I opened up to you, Brooks, and you really fucking hurt me."
He closes his eyes, shaking his head. His voice is so low I barely catch it when he says, "I know." I scoff, "You know? You fucking know, and yet you're still here! Saying all of this stuff. To what? Confuse me?"
"No, I'm not trying to fucking confuse you! I'm trying to apologize! I'm trying to tell you that I'm fucking sorry! That I want to get back together, Letty! Do you not hear me? Are you not goddamn listening?" He jumps up from the couch, standing inches from me. I can feel his warm breath on me again and I have to clench my eyes shut so I don't look at him when he says, "I love you! Jesus, it's like everything I just told you a minute ago went in one ear and out the other. What do I have to do? What can I say?"
I shrug my shoulders, too afraid to speak because I know what I'll say when I do. It's quiet for a while and I can hear Brooks const
antly swallowing. He's nervous and at a loss for words but in my sick mind, I'm happy. Good! I want him to suffer a little bit. I want him to feel just a tiny bit like I did when I was blindsided by the truth. Brooks lets out a heavy sigh, taking a step away from me. I glance up at him and my heart instantly breaks. He's got tears running down his cheeks and his eyes are filled with nothing but sorrow and heartbreak. God, is this what I looked like? So much pain written on my face? My mouth opens but it's him who's the first to speak. "Okay," he whispers, "I understand. I'll only ask you for one thing though. Can you do me a favor?" I swallow a lump in my throat, wanting, begging my mind to work and let my mouth spit out the words. But I don't. I can't. I nod slightly and Brooks gives me a small smile, "If you ever do forgive me, can you come and find me? Can we at least be friends? That's all I'm asking. I'll give you your space but when the time is right...for you...can you just come find me? So we can be friends?" His voice cracks and a small sob escapes me. I can see Brooks struggling to keep it together. "I need you in my life, Letty. And if all I can get is your friendship, then I'll take it." He lets out a heavy breath, searching my eyes for an answer.
I give him a pain filled smile and he nods his head once. Brooks smiles to the floor, takes a deep breath and starts to walk toward the door. My chest tightens and I feel like I'm going to crumble to the floor. His hand reaches for the door knob and I can't take it anymore. "Wait!" I can feel the tears running down my face but he's still not looking at me. His hand is holding onto the doorknob but he's not making an attempt to open it, so I take my chance. I grip the blanket around me like it's my lifeline and take a deep breath. Standing just behind him I begin to whisper, "I hate you."
He turns the knob and it's like time freezes and speeds up all at the same time. "I hate you because I still fucking love you, you idiot!" Brooks’ hand falls from the door and I clench my eyes shut, not wanting to know if he's turned to face me. I’ll lose my nerve if I look at him right now. Just tell him! Get it out. "Or maybe I'm the idiot. I don't know. All I know is that when I found out about the dare, it hurt so much, Brooks. So goddamn much. It felt like my heart got ripped out of me and you just watched, not doing a thing to stop it."
"I never mea-"
I cut him off, holding my hand up I continued, "But the thing that hurt the most, that scared me the most, was that I think I forgave you the second I looked at you. When I saw how distraught you were over it, all I wanted to do was hold you. Comfort you. Make you feel better. In that moment I didn't even care that you had shattered my heart because all I wanted to do was protect yours." I swallow my courage and open my eyes to look at him. He's turned around facing me, searching my face for what? I don't know. "I was going to tell you that I loved you that night. I made it all special. Planned everything out. I had known weeks before." I smile at the memories, "You opened me up in a way I didn't know was possible. You loved me in a way I didn't know existed." Brooks’ hand cups my face and I lean into it, craving his touch. "You gave me something I didn't even know I could have anymore. A family. A loved one."
His thumb traces my bottom lip, his eyes brimming with tears as he listens. "We were never really friends. We hated each other -"
"Sometimes we still do," he cuts me off.
I roll my eyes, "- but then somewhere along the way we stepped over that thin line between love and hate. But it was more like a leap. I fell madly in love with you, Brooks, and that's why it hurt so much." I shake my head, holding back a few tears, "I don't want to be without you anymore. I wish we could go back but we can’t. But I think that's okay. This is us. A part of our story. Just promise to never lie to me again, okay? I love us. Baby, I love yo-" Brooks’ mouth is on mine before I can finish. His hands grip my hair, pulling me closer and I whimper into his delicious mouth. He hoists me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, letting the throw fall to the floor before walking us to my room.
We're naked in bed in an instant. Brooks on top of me, kissing me so deeply I can feel him everywhere. I’m ready for him and I don’t know how much longer I can wait. "I want to cherish you, baby, but right now. Right now I'm going to show you who you belong to. You're mine Letty. I promise to never lie to you again. I love you so fucking much. You’re mine, Scarlett Rose Jenkins. All mine."
"I'm yours." I whisper across his lips, biting and tugging at his bottom lip, "And you're mine."
"Don't you ever forget it." In one fell swoop I'm on my stomach being lifted to my hands and knees, "Hold on, baby. It's going to be a rough ride." Brooks pulls at my hips, aligning my entrance with his hard, thick cock and in one swift motion he slams into me. Forcing me to hold onto his headboard before I hit my head. I let out a loud moan and the sound of Brooks' grunts and our body's colliding has me biting my lip so hard it might bleed. His fingers trace down my spine, leaving goosebumps in their track until he reaches my ass and spanks it. "Oh, fuck." Brooks yells just as I say, "Ah."
"Fuck, babe. You clench me so hard when I smack your firm little ass. Do you like it?" Incoherent words come out of my mouth and Brooks laughs. I nod my head before he spanks me again. Over and over. Before I know it, his fingers grip my hips tighter and he's become more frantic. My body tries to catch up and I slam my body back into his thrusts. The feeling is so good, so deep, so intense that I'm seeing spots of white. Stars. "I'm close. So cl-" but I don't have to finish because Brooks is already rubbing my clit and it sends me overboard. My body collapses into his gray sheets while he holds my hips up thrusting into me a few more times before I feel his sweating, burning body falls on top of me.
Our breathing is erratic and I can feel Brooks' pounding heart on my back. His hot breath is in my ear as he peppers kisses all over my hair before pulling out and rolling onto his back. "God, I really love you." I smile, turning my face toward him, "I love you, too." He reaches over and kisses me tenderly. The moment our breathing has calmed, Brooks looks over to me and smiles, "You ready to go round two, baby? This time I wanna take my time. I wanna go slow and cherish every inch of your beautiful body." I smile and laugh, nodding my head. That's exactly what we did for the rest of the night. I made sweet, delicious love to the man I’m absolutely in love with.
Chapter 38
Letty
The new semester is kicking my ass with school, work and trying to make time to find a field position internship and it's only just been a few days. I haven't even been to all of my classes yet and I'm a bit terrified to see what's to come. I need to get some "real life experience" as my advisor keeps telling me, and get myself out into the field. So, not only do I have coursework and homework this semester on top of working at Wade’s, but now I need to find an internship to work around my schedule. To say I'm a bit stressed out would be an understatement. At least the incredible sex that I've been having on the daily lately should help. I let out a deep sigh thinking about Brooks' body as I make my way into my next class.
I'm just settling into my seat in Forensic Anthropology when someone clears their throat behind me. When I look up, I immediately start chuckling, shaking my head. "Well, well, well, if it isn't my beautiful girlfriend." Brooks chuckles before reaching down to give me a kiss. "What are you doing here?"
"Looks like we have yet another class together this semester, baby. Are you disappointed?" I laugh at his fake pout as he gets settled in the seat next to me. "Hmm, let me think about it and get back to you." I take out my books and set up my laptop to take notes, waiting for the professor to arrive. "Ouch! Looks like I'm going to have to do some persuading, huh?" He smirks which I return with a small smile and an eye roll. "Mhmm, and what does this persuading entail? Hopefully not you being an asshole."
Brooks laughs and butterflies fill my stomach. Ugh! And to think I used to hate him. "Oh, on the contrary," he bends down, pulling something out of his bag before smirking and throwing it on my desk. My grinning boyfriend leans forward, his arm draped around the back of my chair as he whispers in my ear, "But if you want me to be an asshole in bed when we get hom
e, I'll gladly do that. Or maybe I'll just do something with your ass? Hmm?" I push him away, shaking my head as he chuckles. My eyes land on the small bag of white cheddar popcorn that he threw on my desk and I look up at him. So much love filled in his eyes. I grab his shirt, pulling him closer and giving him a thank you kiss that makes us both groan.
Our kiss is halted when the professor arrives and yells his introduction to the class. Informing us of everything we need to know about how this semester is going to go and what to look forward to learning in this class. For the next two hours Brooks and I manage to keep our hands off of each other and our attention focused on the lecture. The second the professor dismisses us Brooks packs up his belongings, waiting for me to finish. The second I'm done he grabs my bag, slinging his arm around my shoulders and walks us out of the building. "Well, this should be interesting. I'm actually looking forward to this class," he bends down kissing the top of my head, "do you have any other classes for today?"
I shake my head, "Nope. I was planning on going to the library for the rest of the day. Savvy's working there today so I was going to see her and then get started on some stuff for my other classes. What about you?" Brooks gives me a smirk, "I was actually planning on doing the same thing." I chuckled, leaning into him as we walked to the library. Before we reach the doors Brooks nudges my arm, "Hey, want me to go get some tea or something and meet you back here for a study session?" He put the last words in air quotes and I rolled my eyes. "A chai latte sounds really good right now. Can you get one for me and maybe one for Savvy? I know she'll probably want one."