A Time To Love

by Lynn Emery

  “Listen, baby, you can’t change people an’ you can’t change the past. Nathan had trouble in his eyes since he was a boy.” Mama Jo looked off as though seeing another time and place. “Like his daddy.”

  “Maybe so, but if could have been more supportive....” Neva took a deep breath. The happiness of being with Chandler was dimmed by the dark cloud of doubt. “And here I am again, not home a good four months and letting this distract me.”

  “Stop talkin’ silliness. Love ain’t some sideline you put off ‘til you get ready for it. No, ma’am.”

  “We just met.” Neva felt thrilled and afraid at the mention of love.

  “That may be, but the way you two look at each other... Sendin’ off all kinds of sparks.” Mama Jo chuckled at the look of embarrassment Neva wore.

  “Now look who’s being silly.” Neva avoided her gaze. “You want some mint tea? It’ll help you sleep.” She fluffed the pillows behind Mama Jo.

  “Changing the subject don’t change the facts,” Mama Jo said with another cackle.

  “Now that’s enough. You’re imagining things. Yes I like Chandler, but we’re just dating.” Even Neva did not believe what she’d just said. She turned away to keep Mama Jo from seeing it in her expression.

  “Uh-huh. Well, if you wanna keep it that way tell you what you oughta do.”

  “And that is?” Neva paused before leaving for the kitchen. She looked at Mama Jo.

  “Dodge them hot kisses he try to plant on you. Like you don’t want ‘em just as bad.” Mama Jo laughed loud and hard.

  “Mama!” Neva looked shocked and very uncomfortable.

  Mama Jo let her laughter trail off finally. She became serious. “Runnin’ away from love and joy ain’t the answer, baby.”

  “I’ve just got to keep my priorities straight.” Neva smiled. “Now let’s have tea and watch Master Piece Theatre.”

  In the kitchen putting water on for tea, Neva tried to regain her sense of purpose. The ordinary sound of clatter as she got out cups and spoons brought her back to the real world. Where was the sense of caution she’d so carefully cultivated? It was two years after Nathan died before Neva had even dated. She had kept men at arm’s length emotionally. Actually no man had really moved her. Until now. Life had seemed hollow somehow, as though something important was missing. Neva had cared deeply for Nathan. She’d been fond of other men. But no... passion. The realization hit her like a sound tap on the forehead. An image, clear as a color photo, came into her head. Chandler Macklin. No matter what she’d thought before, Neva had never really known passion. She paused in the act of getting out the tea bags. Maybe Mama Jo was right. There was no reason not to enjoy this feeling. Meeting Chandler could mean it was time to bury old hurts and get on with life. Chandler made her believe that stories of grand romance were not just fiction. “Not this time. I’m going to keep my eyes open and my feet on the ground,” Neva said out loud with a nod.

  Her voice seemed bounce off the kitchen walls.

  Even as made her vow, she could hear echoes of Mama Jo’s chuckle.

  ***

  “Bye, me too.” Tariq hung up the phone. “Daddy said to tell you bye.”

  “How is your dad?” Alise asked the question in a casual voice.

  She and Chandler had only spoken briefly while Tariq bounced with impatience to tell his father all his latest news since they’d talked the previous week. They were in the kitchen baking Halloween cookies for a party being given by the parents in the neighborhood. Alise cut out the dough in shapes while Tariq decorated the ghosts and goblins with candy coated eyes.

  Tariq lifted his shoulders. “‘Kay. He says he went fishing with a friend but they only caught a few. Boy, wish I could have gone.”

  “A friend,” Alise said more to herself than to her son. “Vernon?”

  “Some lady. She knows all the best places to catch lots of fish.” Tariq was more interested in the idea of being in the swamps again. “Bet me and Dad are going to hook some big ones. When I get to go back, I mean.”

  “What’s her name?” Alise stared straight ahead.

  “I dunno. Guess I’ll have to wait all the way until next summer. Hope all the good ones aren’t gone by then.” Tariq wore the traces of earlier sulks.

  “I can’t believe he didn’t mention her name, Tariq. Think.” Alise spoke in a light tone. Yet her smile was stretched tight. “Tariq, listen to me,” she said in a too sharp voice when he did not answer.

  Tariq looked up at her with a frown. “Now what did I do?”

  Alise rubbed her forehead. “Nothing, nothing. Here put the cookies in the oven.”

  “You have another bad headache, mama?” Tariq put a protective arm around her waist.

  “I’m fine.” Alise smiled at him bravely. “For the hundredth time, don’t worry about me. I’m the parent here. Now let’s get moving or we’ll go to that party empty-handed.”

  “‘Kay. Wonder if Dad is making cookies this year. Remember how he used to eat the heads off? You’d fuss at him and....” Tariq grew quiet.

  “Say, don’t forget you’ll get to visit him soon. And when he gets his new computer, you can send him lots of e-mail. Even pictures when we get the scanner.” Alise kissed the top of head and smooth her hand over his dark hair.

  “I know.” Tariq brightened a bit. “Can’t wait to show him my science trophy. I’m going to watch television.” He raced to the den.

  Deep in thought, Alise went about the kitchen cleaning up. She stopped and stared at the phone for several seconds then went down the hall to the den. Tariq sat on a huge pillow in front of the wide screen watching the Disney Channel.

  “Honey, I know you miss your dad. Maybe it would be good for you to see him.” Alise sat next to him.

  “You mean it!” Tariq stared at her wide-eyed. There was exhilaration on the small milk chocolate face that looked so much like his father.

  “Yes, I do.” Alise grinned back at him.

  “Oh boy, wait until I tell Shawn! He wanted me to bring him a souvenir last time and I forgot.” Tariq jumped up and darted off quick as lightening to call his friend.

  Alise stared at the television without seeing the picture. “Yes, we both need to visit Chandler. And soon.”

  Chapter 5

  Neva entered the last sales figure. She gave a satisfied sigh after she pulled up a pie chart onto the screen. The bright primary colors were reassuring, especially the numbers in each section. The store was finally close to the break even point. She and Lainie had worked their fingers to the bone for over a month. They’d come up with promotions that brought in new customers. Neva switched to the sales projection window with the click of her mouse. At this rate, they should make a healthy profit within six months. Neva stood and stretched. She’d been sitting too long, at least for her.

  “Hey, Lainie, I’ll work the front for a while,” Neva said. She walked from the back into the sales floor.

  Lainie perched on the high stool behind the cash register. “Say, my friend at the tourist center on Highway 61 called a minute ago. She just gave out our flyer to a group of retirees. They’re looking for good places to fish.”

  “Another brilliant idea of ours pays off.”

  “Yeah, they need bait and snacks. Cuz, we are takin’ care of business.” Lainie grinned.

  Neva wandered over to stare out through one of the two large windows that flanked the front door. The sky was overcast. The early November day was damp, chill and dreary. Spanish moss hung from the large oaks like the beard of a tired old man. Gone was the exuberant color that was more characteristic of the south Louisiana landscape. Yet Neva gazed out as though seeing a lush green spring day.

  “Life is good,” Neva agreed.

  Lainie made a clucking sound. “You’re not talking about selling moon cakes and crickets.”

  “No. I meant Mama Jo is doing so much better than expected and business is going good.” Neva cleared her throat. She went back to re-arranging bags of chips on
a wire rack.

  “And you’ve got the second finest looking man in West Feliciana parish hot for you.”

  “Excuse me?” Neva paused in the act of placing a jumbo sack of corn chips upright.

  “My husband is number one, sugar,” Lainie boasted. “But you got that sexy, tall hunk of masculine beauty. Honey, more than one sister around here is not happy with you.”

  “When will you ever deal with that addiction to gossip?” Neva shook her head.

  “Girl, I hear Zenia Heatly has been throwing sour grapes all over town,” Lainie said. “She said you–”

  “What she says doesn’t matter.” Neva gave a prim sniff. “And you should know better than to repeat ‘he say, she say’ stuff.”

  “All right.” Lainie tapped a lacquered fingernail on the wooden counter top for several seconds. “Of course she is a bit put out since Chandler hasn’t taken her out again.”

  “Again? What do you mean again?” Neva spun around.

  Lainie propped both elbows on the counter. “Well, they dated a few times. His pal Vernon, she’s Vernon’s sister, hooked them up.”

  “I see.” Neva tried to calm the rising tide of jealousy.

  “Anyway, Zenia is all pissed off because she had plans for the man. She was strutting around rubbing at least five other women’s noses in the fact that she was dating Chandler.”

  “An attractive single man is bound to have a few dates.” Neva made it a point to toss out this comment in a casual manner.

  “They tell me Zenia was all up in the man’s apartment, buying him furniture and stuff.” Lainie was about to go on when three recreational vehicles pulled onto the parking lot. “But they stopped dating about a month or so before you got home,” she finished hurriedly as the first gray-haired couple came in. “Hi folks!”

  Neva was left chafing to hear more but the other retirees descended with lots of questions and chatter. She slipped on her cheerful store owner hat and talked up area attractions. After what seemed an eternity the group left.

  “Thanks so much. Stop back by and tell us how much fun you had.” Neva waved to them as they left.

  “Let’s hope spring and summer brings lots of folks like that.” Lainie happily got out a clip board. “Let’s see, we need to up our order for soft drinks. Best call River City Beverages before their next delivery,” she mumbled and headed for the office.

  “Yeah. Right.”

  Neva drifted around straightening items on shelves in a distracted manner. She started for the office then thought better of it. Chandler made her feel a kind of warmth she’d never experienced with a man before. Neva wanted to be with him every day, an annoying development indeed. This constant gnawing little hunger to hear his voice or see him smile was something she had to get in hand. But first she had to find out what Lainie knew.

  Several minutes passed before Lainie emerged. “We’re pretty well stocked with canned meat. Boy, do those people love Spam.” She laughed.

  “Hmm.” Neva let a few more moments of silence pass. “Uh, you were saying something about Zenia before.” She tried to sound only mildly interested.

  “Was I?” Lainie still seemed intent on filling out forms on the clipboard.

  “Something about her being irritated with me. I think you mentioned Chandler....” Neva let her voice trail off.

  “We need more crackers, too,” Lainie said scribbling on an order form they used. “What were you saying?”

  Neva marched over to her and snatched the pencil from her hand. “You know exactly what I said.”

  Lainie wore an impish smirk. “Admit it, you’re dying to know about Zenia and Chandler.”

  “Oh all right! Now spill it.” Neva gave up her pretense and leaned against the counter.

  “You don’t have a thing to worry about. Chandler dropped her. Girl, she hit the ground so hard, she bounced,” Lainie crowed.

  “That sounds more like it.” Neva started to smile then thought better of it. “He didn’t mistreat her or anything? You know lead her on, play on her.”

  “Zenia can’t keep a man no how, no way. Chandler was a gentleman. But Zenia got greedy. Wanted to start ordering the man around after only a few dates.” Lainie rattled off the news like a reporter for CNN.

  “I see.” Neva felt a rush of relief. Then she felt guilty. “What is wrong with me? One of the things I disliked about Solitude was all the gossip. I’ve been the subject myself more than a few times.”

  “This is a firsthand account, not your ordinary run of the mill stuff.” Lainie took on the look of an indignant reporter. “I only use the most reliable sources.”

  “Oh well, that makes all the difference.” Neva gave an amused shake of her head.

  “Look, I’ve seen the way you light up when he walks through that door. I just want you know there are no skeletons in his closet.”

  Neva groaned. “Darn it, I was perfectly happy being single. I’m finally at ease with myself. Running the store has satisfied me in a way even I found surprising.”

  “Yep, you’ve done a fantastic job.” Lainie nodded.

  “I thought I was too scatter-brained, too much of an artsy type for this. But there is something wonderfully creative about making a business grow.”

  “True.”

  “I’ve got work, not to mention my family obligations.” Neva threw both hands in the air.

  “You sound like you caught the flu instead of a fine man,” Lainie quipped.

  “Ha, ha.” Neva tossed an aggravated glance at her. “You know what I mean. My track record with men is nothing to brag on.”

  “Get off it,” Lainie said curtly.

  “What?” Neva put both hands on her hips.

  “You heard me. Nathan was in his own self-made house of horrors long before he met you.”

  “But I married him knowing I didn’t love him the way he loved me.” Neva could only talk about this to Mama Jo and Lainie. She was still so ashamed.

  “He knew it, too. Nathan wanted you to rescue him. He made you his life preserver and clung to you with an iron grip.” Lainie placed a hand on Neva’s shoulder. “He had too many needs for any one person to satisfy, Neva. Nathan should have been in an alcohol treatment program.”

  “I tried so hard to get him to go.” Neva’s voice trembled.

  “And you did everything you could.” Lainie waved a hand in the air. “Now it’s time to move on. Reel Chandler Macklin in, honey. He’s the one that definitely should not get away.”

  “But–”

  “No ‘buts’! You deserve it.” Lainie gave her an appraising glance from head to toe. “And falling in love looks good on you.”

  “I’m not in love!” Neva burst out with a look of panic. She shook her head so hard, her long hair bounced wildly.

  Lainie sucked in a deep breath noisily. “Oo-wee, you got it bad ain’t ya?”

  Neva brushed hair from her face. “Yes, I like him– a lot,” she added. “But I don’t believe in falling in love just like that.” She snapped her fingers.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “I’m not falling in love with him.” Neva’s voice was more a plea for someone to make it not be so. When Lainie only gazed back at her mildly, she slumped down onto the stool. “I don’t need this.”

  Lainie put an arm around her shoulders. “Yes you do,” she said in a firm voice.

  “What if I mess it up this time?” Neva felt a deep shiver as though someone had slipped ice water down her back. The thought of Chandler looking at her with hurt and anger in his eyes was unbearable.

  “Neva, we’ve gone through this.” Lainie tighten her grip on Neva’s shoulders.

  “I couldn’t even talk to Mama Jo... And look what happened to my first serious boyfriend.”

  “Stop it right now,” Lainie commanded. “I know the prescription for this. We’re going to have an old fashion slumber party, just you and me.”

  “What?” Neva blinked at her. She remembered the nights they’d spent sitting up late, talk
ing out all the things children sometimes keep even from parents. Funny how they had seemed to work out their worst fears between the two of them.

  “Shenetta is spending the night with her best friend and Jeroyd is going to a basketball game then home with my nephew. Charles is working the night shift.” Lainie folded her arms. “We can really cut up bad, child.”

  “No, Mama Jo–”

  “Will have Tranice with her plus her two church members come over tonight for their regular gab fest,” Lainie broke in.

  Neva laughed. “How did you know that?”

  “This is Solitude, remember? Now, see you at eight.” Lainie gathered up her purse to leave.

  “Okay. Lainie, you’re the best sister I could ever have.” Neva gave her a fierce hug.”

  ***

  Music swirled around them like a sweet, thick haze blocking out all of Neva’s doubts and worries. The now familiar tickle of desire spread across her hips as Chandler held her closer. Charmaine Neville sang a slow dance love song that set a romantic mood. The pulsating beat, accented by the bass guitar, along with the throaty vocals, acted on the senses like a powerful aphrodisiac. At least it seemed that way to Neva. With one long note, more like a moan of passion, the song ended. Neva felt unsteady on her feet when Chandler stepped back to applaud with the rest of the audience. He held her hand firmly as they left the dance floor to return to their table. Neva was grateful to sit down. She almost fell into the chair. The popular Baton Rouge night spot was full, but Neva felt alone with Chandler in paradise.

  “You’re too modest about your dancing skills.” Neva fanned herself with a napkin. Did her voice actually tremble?

  “I do okay,” Chandler smiled shyly.

  Neva felt a thrill at the sight of a dimple in his right cheek when he smiled like that. Right now you’re doing a lot better than ‘okay’! The dark skin of his face and neck looked silky smooth. How would it feel on the tips of her fingers? She had to get herself in control. Before that darned song, she’d been doing pretty good keeping this another pleasant ‘getting-to-know-you’ safe date.