A Time To Love

by Lynn Emery

“Why don’t you go see the stuffed animals in that display room.” Alise beamed at him.

  “Yeah. Come on.” Tariq jumped up from his chair.

  “No, I saw quite enough.” Alise gestured for him to go on.

  Chandler smiled when Tariq rushed off. “He’s growing like a weed.”

  “He’ll be as tall as you.” Alise smiled at him. “And as handsome.”

  “So your parents are doing good?” Chandler took a gulp of his soft drink. He toyed with the idea of following Tariq.

  “Yes. They ask about you often.” Alise leaned across the table. “You know, they took our divorce harder than we did. Mother and Dad are so fond of you.”

  “They’re great folks.” Chandler meant what he said. Lawrence and Doreen could be called dream in-laws.

  Alise was quiet with the appearance of giving thought to her next words. “Truth is, I’ve had a kind of delayed reaction to our break-up.” She held a one hand to forestall his response. “I know, I know. I pushed the issue.”

  “As I recall, you admitted that you’d been thinking about divorce for a year.” Chandler glanced around to make sure Tariq was not nearby. “Not to mention that episode with Brian Latimore.”

  “Nothing happened,” Alise said quickly.

  “Alise, be honest. You were bored with me and disenchanted. Brian Josephs with his million dollar home and rich life-style was very attractive.”

  “But you know there was nothing serious between us.” Alise put a hand on Chandler’s knee under the table. “I never once thought of sleeping with him.”

  “Only because I caught on fast.” Chandler discreetly lifted her hand from his knee and put it on top the white table cloth.

  Alise did not seem upset by his rebuff. “I let a silly flirtation get out of hand– almost.”

  “It really didn’t matter at that point. Everything good between us was gone long before that.”

  Chandler did not add what he really thought. He and Alise had never shared a deep love. In the months after he’d moved out of the house, he realized that their relationship had been shallow. Alise was in love with his ability to achieve success. Chandler was overwhelmed that the beautiful Alise Dawson pursued him. He was in lust, not love. Together they made a handsome couple. Nothing more. Certainly nothing to compare to the soul shaking experience Neva Ross gave him.

  Alise sat back with her full lips pressed together as she examined him for a few moments. “So, I’m history. Bad history no less.”

  “Let’s not go there again.” Chandler did not want Tariq to come back and find two angry, silent parents.

  “Fine. I suppose Ms. Ross provides all the sweet emotion in your life these days.” Alise spoke in a low voice heavy with acid.

  “Alise, don’t start. Tariq will–” Chandler held on to his temper.

  “I knew the moment Tariq told me about this friend that you’d been taken in by some woman.” Alise wore a sneer. “Sweetheart, she saw you coming.”

  “You don’t know anything about Neva,” Chandler snapped.

  “You’ll soon tire of her, the small town girl. I know you.”

  “No, Alise, you don’t know me at all,” Chandler said in a soft voice. “Look, I don’t have any animosity toward you. You’re a wonderful mother and a nice person.”

  “Nice person!” Alise wore a furious expression. “Thanks a lot!”

  “I respect you as a person,” Chandler went on calmly. “And I hope that we can be on good terms– for our son’s sake.” He looked at her with a resolute expression.

  “Yes. Of course.” Alise tapped her long fingernails on the table. “Let’s be new millennium adults and have a happy divorce.”

  “Alise–”

  She breathed in and out deeply as though to collect herself. “You’re right. I had a bad possessive wife flashback. We were married for thirteen years.”

  Chandler felt a wave of relief. “Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t get any easier. Every change means we have to adjust all over again.”

  “You seem to be doing fine,” she said with a slight teasing smile.

  “Trust me, I didn’t expect to find Neva Ross.” Chandler still felt a sense of wonder at the electricity between them.

  “I suppose we both need to get on with our lives.” Alise sighed. “I’m still feeling my way.”

  “You’ve done well for yourself. Landing a top position with the mayor’s office is no small potatoes.” “Yes.” Alise seemed to brightened at the mention of her prestigious job working in the finance department overseeing bids and contracts. “Still I haven’t found a special someone.”

  “Come on. Tariq told me you’ve had several dates with the same guy in the last few weeks.” Chandler felt not one twitch of jealousy at the thought of Alise with another man.

  “So you’ve been pumping him for information on me, eh?” Alise giggled. “Kevin is okay.”

  “Give it time. It can come where and when you least expect.” Chandler squeezed her hand.

  “Thank you,” Alise murmured. “I’m glad we talked.”

  “So am I.” Chandler smiled at her.

  The cloud of apprehension lifted and Chandler relaxed. He would truly give thanks tomorrow that there would be no mad drama scene staring Alise Dawson Macklin. Thank you, Lord! Chandler could not help but utter a brief prayer of gratitude instantly. Tariq bounced back with a new friend in tow, both chattering about snakes, fish and Louisiana brown bears. The rest of the evening went smoothly. Yet Alise had another surprise in store. She sprung it when he took them back to hotel.

  “Listen, I’m going to be really grown-up.” Alise stopped in the hotel lobby to face Chandler.

  “How so?” Chandler tensed.

  “Since I’m leaving fairly soon in the morning, Tariq might as well go home with you tonight.” She shrugged with good-humor. “You guys can stay up late talking guy-talk.”

  “Great! We can watch movies, get on the web and do all sorts of stuff,” Tariq burst out. Then he looked at Alise. “But... maybe I better stay with you, Mama. So you won’t get nervous or lonely in a strange place.” The little boy gave way to a give a glimpse of the future man.

  “Thank you baby, but I’ll be just fine.” Alise put an arm around his slim shoulders. “I’ve got a great book to read. Besides, I’ll probably fall asleep after reading a few pages.”

  “If you’re sure.” Tariq took his role as protector seriously.

  “Positive. And if I need company, there’s a wine party tonight by the fireplace in the Live Oak Lounge.” Alise nodded in the direction of a tastefully decorated room with stuffed chairs, tables and a polished bar.

  With Tariq satisfied that his mother would be okay, the plan was put into action. Chandler went with them to the room. Tariq dashed around packing his things with Alise forcing him to take more care. Soon they were ready to leave. Alise put a hand on Chandler’s arm.

  “Happy Thanksgiving.” She gave him a light, quick kiss on the lips.

  “Same to you. Drive carefully.” Chandler was touched by the token of affection and goodwill.

  Tariq beamed at them. “Night, Mama. Tell Granma and Papa I’ll see them Sunday.”

  Chandler felt a soaring happiness. His son was with him on this holiday, he and Alise seemed to have finally found peaceful co-existence and Neva would win Tariq’s heart for sure. Yes, he was truly thankful.

  Chapter 9

  “Dad, why can’t it be just us?” Tariq did not look up from the model car they were both working on.

  Chandler waited a few beats gathering up all the effort he would need to be reasonable. “We’ll have lots of time together. But I thought it would be nice if you got to know Neva.”

  “Oh.” Tariq worked a while longer then looked up. “Is she your woman?”

  “Women are not a possession, son. She’s a special lady that makes me happy.” Chandler congratulated himself on not demanding to know when he’d started talking like a rap singer.

  “Oh.”
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br />   “Neva’s a wonderful person. You’ll like her once you two get acquainted.”

  Tariq pressed his lips together. “Umm.”

  “Son, say what’s on your mind.” Chandler took the tiny screw driver from his hand.

  “You’re going to get mad.” Tariq’s dark eyebrows went up to his hairline.

  “Even if we don’t agree, you can always talk to me.” Chandler tapped his arm. “Well?”

  “It’s just....” Tariq pursed his lips as he formed his thoughts. “Why can’t it be like it was before? Things weren’t that bad when we all lived together.”

  “They weren’t that good either, Tariq.” Chandler framed his answer carefully. “Your mother and I love you. The divorce was about us, not you.”

  “Why don’t you love Mama anymore?” Tariq folded his hands together.

  “Your mother became frustrated with me and I... I wanted something different from life than she did.” Chandler struggled for a way to explain. “When two people start pulling against one another instead of in the same direction, they break apart.”

  “You didn’t know that before you got married?”

  Chandler was moved by the perceptiveness of his question. It was obvious Tariq had given this a lot of thought. “We thought we wanted the same things. I guess we didn’t take the time to really look at it closely.”

  “I don’t understand. If you talked about it, then you should have known,” Tariq said with the simple logic of a child.

  “You’d think so,” Chandler muttered. “It would avoid a lot of trouble.” He scratched his head. “Okay, look, you remember how you used to enjoy playing with those plastic building blocks? Man, you were in your room for hours with the things. You begged us for all the accessories. You had a whole town built, even the people. Trucks, cars, the works.”

  “Yeah, but I was a little kid then. I grew out of baby toys,” Tariq said.

  “Exactly, you changed. You grew away from those toys. You needed and wanted something different. That’s what happens sometimes to people in a marriage.” Chandler watched Tariq carefully. His brow was furrowed as he processed his father’s analogy.

  “Then there why get married at all? You’re going to change and then not love each other anymore.” Tariq looked at him.

  “But you don’t think that when you first fall in love.” Chandler felt so inadequate. How could he explain the great mystery of love to Tariq when adults had yet to figure it out?

  “Sounds like it’s not worth the trouble.” Tariq was troubled and still not satisfied. “I just want things to be right again.”

  “Things are right in manner of speaking. I’ll always be here for you. So will your mother.” Chandler put a hand on his shoulder.

  Tariq nodded. “Okay, Daddy.” He looked at his father with large brown eyes filled with trust.

  Chandler felt a tug at his heart strings. Tariq had begun to call him dad after having announced two years before that only babies said “daddy”. Now he needed once more to have some form of security. Even his son could tell that Neva Ross was not just another woman he was dating. As the therapist had told him, children need reassurances repeated to them.

  Tariq went back to assembling the model car, a red Jaguar X7. Chandler sat beside him wondering if he’d said the right thing this time. He wanted so much to salvage this holiday. Luckily Alise had stuck to her plans and gone to New Orleans. Now if only he could be sure she would not start trouble before leaving the state!

  “I really want to you give Miss Ross a chance to be your friend, all right?” Chandler rubbed the dark brown cotton curls on Tariq’s head.

  “Sure.” Tariq shrugged.

  “Good.” Chandler refrained from a noisy sigh of relief. Anxiety quieted, he turned his concentration to the task before them.

  ***

  “You want another roll, honey?” Neva held up the basket of crispy brown bread.

  Tariq looked at her with a stony expression. “No, ma’am.” He made it sound as formal as possible perfectly communicating he did not like being addressed with such familiarity.

  Neva was stung. “Uh, let me know if you want anything. We cooked plenty of food.”

  “Never know when a lot of greedy kinfolks will show up actin’ like they ain’t had a meal in weeks,” Mama Jo said with a wink at him.

  Tariq started to smile then stopped. Chandler gazed at him in obvious dismay. Neva felt like a fish out of water between the two of them. She was trying so hard to please them both, and failing big time.

  “Tariq, you love candied yams. I can’t believe you’re only going to eat that teeny little helping.” Chandler’s tone was light yet edgy.

  “I’m full.” Tariq pushed a couple of stray green peas around his plate.

  “Saving room for dessert I bet,” Neva said. Her jaw muscles were sore from the tight smiled plastered on her face for the last hour.

  “Not really.” Tariq did not look at her.

  “Son–” Chandler’s brown eyes flashed with anger. Clearly he was near the breaking point.

  “You can have it later if you like.” Neva glanced at Chandler and gave a slight shake of her head. “In fact, waiting a while is a good idea.”

  “Looka here, you might not be hungry for sweet potato pie with marshmallows melted on top, but I am.” Mama Jo stood up slowly. “Come here, baby, I need a hand walkin’.” She beckoned to Tariq.

  “Yes, ma’am.” Tariq took her hand.

  “No, just let me hold onto your arm to steady myself. Yeah, that’s it. Humph, you got strong arms. Not as skinny as I thought.” Mama Jo walked beside him and felt along his upper arm.

  “Coach makes us lift weights.” Tariq looked up at her.

  “You play football?” Mama Jo held onto him as they went toward the kitchen.

  “Yes, ma’am.” Tariq’s sullen expression eased. “But I like basketball a lot better.”

  “Ain’t that somethin’. Bet you good, too.” Mama Jo wore a maternal smile as though she was his proud grandmother.

  “I scored ten points once last school year.”

  They kept up a string of chatter as they left. Neva felt as though she’d bungled this first attempt to get close to Tariq. She could only imagine what the next two days would be like.

  “It’s not your fault, honey.” Chandler spoke as though he’d read her mind. “Maybe if Alise hadn’t come along....”

  “I’m not all that used to being around kids.” Neva leaned back in her chair. Tariq’s lack of appetite was catching. The food before her could have been sawdust for all the appeal it held now. “I don’t know what to say or how to say it.”

  “You’ve been wonderful. He’s just not ready to see it.” Chandler folded her hand in both of his.

  “You mean he doesn’t want to like me.” Neva understood, but it did not make it easier.

  “Right. If he likes you, then he’s being disloyal to Alise.” Chandler brushed a tendril of her hair back from her cheek. “But he’ll get over it.”

  Neva plucked at the thick dark green cotton sweater she wore over brown riding pants. “Maybe we’re pushing him. I mean, we only just met. Could be we should take it easy.”

  Chandler let go of her hand. “I get the feeling you’re talking about more than spending time with Tariq.”

  “I... We’re not two single people who met and felt an attraction. You have a son.” Neva almost added that he had an ex-wife also. One who did not see herself as out of his life.

  “Felt an attraction?” Chandler stared at her hard. “What we had was more than that. Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it was just me.”

  “I didn’t mean to make it sound so superficial.” Neva could not look into his eyes. “But it has been only a month or so.”

  “It’s been close to two months.” Chandler put his arm along the back of her chair. “But it doesn’t matter to me. Two weeks, two months or two years. I know what you mean to me.”

  “Let’s take it one step at a time is all I’
m saying.” Neva tried one more smile she did not feel. She could tell it was a poor effort without looking into a mirror. Chandler’s troubled expression was enough.

  His broad chest rose and fell as he sat quiet, thoughtful for several moments. “Okay. But I’m not going to let you go.”

  Neva wondered how far that commitment would go if Tariq did not accept her. Chandler loved his son. He was a devoted father who would sacrifice all for Tariq. Even a woman he’d come to care for deeply. She did not have to be told this. Neva knew it was true. Chandler felt a deep guilt about the pain the divorce caused the child.

  “You two spend the next few days together, alone,” Neva said. “Tariq might need time to talk about how he feels. He can’t with me always around.”

  Neva knew she was taking the easy way out for herself. She did not want to face more days of a sullen, resentful little boy. Or have to see Alise standing close to Chandler. Dare she hope the beautiful woman would come back only to meet Tariq at the airport for the flight home?

  “We’ll have lots of time alone, Neva.” Chandler leaned close to her. “Is this about Tariq or Alise?”

  “No, I–” Neva again avoided eye contact. “Having a child together gives you a powerful connection. And she’s lovely. When I saw the three of you standing together, it looked so natural.”

  “Appearances don’t count.” Chandler shook his head. “Looking like the perfect couple isn’t enough.” “Were you that unhappy?” Neva gazed at him. She wanted to hear him say it. She needed to hear it now that she’d seen Alise.

  “Very. So was Alise.” Chandler shrugged. “We lived parallel lives for a long time with Tariq the only thing we shared.”

  “Now she wants you back.”

  “Alise just wants to get back at me for falling in love with a beautiful woman before she bagged a trophy husband.” Chandler shrugged. “It’s pure ego.”

  Neva searched his expression, every nuance of his body language. “There is nothing left of the passion, no fond memories that bind you, no love?”

  “No. I hope she finds happiness, that’s all.” Chandler pressed his cheek against hers. “Don’t run away from me, Neva. Please.”