A Time To Love

by Lynn Emery

  “I guess we do have something to discuss then.” Neva smiled at him in what she hoped passed for coyness.

  Judging by the cocky way he behaved, Ivory was convinced. “Get a load of this, pretty woman.” He took a document from the envelope and unfolded it on the desk in front of her.

  Neva read the paper with growing astonishment. For another twenty agonizing minutes, she put up with Ivory. Not an easy task considering he twice tried to kiss her. With a saucy smile, she let him think she was playing hard to get for now. She finally managed to rid of him. Lainie peeked in with Charles right behind her.

  “Is he gone?” Lainie glanced around.

  “You all right?” Charles called over his wife’s shoulder.

  “Yes.” Neva made a face as though she’d tasted something nasty. “I need a shower!”

  “Yeah, he’s like a slug. Not only is he disgusting, but he leaves a slimy trail wherever he goes,” Lainie said.

  Charles came in. Over six feet four, he seemed cramped in the office. “Ivory Tate is bad news.” The big man spoke simply.

  “He thinks I’m hot for him.” Neva laughed at the look of horror on Lainie’s face.

  “Don’t even joke about it!” Lainie gave an exaggerated shiver.

  “I’m ashamed to say I led him on to get this.” Neva handed Lainie the document.

  Lainie’s eyes grew wider with each line she read. “Lord, let me sit down on this one.” She fell into a chair.

  Charles took the paper from her. He looked at it and nodded. “That’s some hot property you got.”

  “How did Ivory get his hands on it?” Lainie said.

  “He stole it from Desiree. Now I know why she was so sure she’d get the best deal from Marian Bellows.” Neva’s mind raced.

  “Desiree using blackmail, right in character.” Lainie frowned. “What are we going to do?”

  “Not we. I’m not going to put you at risk.” Neva found Desiree’s office number in her card file.

  “Hey, cuz, we’re in this together as always.” Lainie leaned forward. “Right, baby?” She glanced up at her husband.

  “Right,” the big man said in a deep voice.

  “I love you guys, but I can handle Desiree by myself.” Neva picked up the receiver and punched the number pads on her phone.

  “If you’re going to finally whip her butt, I wanna be there!” Lainie rubbed her hands together. Her eyes gleamed. “In fact, I wanna help.”

  “Down girl. I’ll tell you all about it later.” She thought of her mother and grandmother. “Desiree has a nasty surprise coming.”

  ***

  Mama Jo rocked slowly on the front porch. The early May heat promised a scorching summer. But she did not seem to notice the fine day. Her eyes looked far off into a distance that was not miles.

  “It’s a wonder she didn’t find out sooner,” Patsy said. She glanced at her friend. “Stop greivin’. The child didn’t say she blamed you.”

  “It’s in her eyes when she looks at me.” Mama Jo’s voice was flat.

  “You been carryin’ ‘round this hurt inside too long. It wasn’t your fault Rose got killed.” Patsy heaved a deep sigh. “You tried.”

  “Neva used wish her mama would come back. Some kinda way she had a connection to Rose, like the cord wasn’t never really cut.” Mama Jo sat stiff, both hands on the arms of her chair. “I just couldn’t tell her the truth.”

  “I was tempted to tell my grandson his daddy was off workin’ or somethin’ instead of in prison.” Patsy nodded slowly. “I know how you felt.”

  “But you didn’t. Now I lost two children.” Mama Jo seemed to say she deserved this misery.

  Neva drove into the driveway of crushed gravel. Instead of going in the side door, she walked around to the front porch where the women sat.

  “Good afternoon, Miss Patsy.” Neva smiled briefly at her then looked at her grandmother. “Hi, Mama Jo.” she did not answer.

  “Hey, baby. How you doin’?” Patsy tilted her head toward Mama Jo in a silent message to Neva. “Nice and hot today.”

  Neva felt a rise of annoyance. Mama Jo was as unbending as ever. For days she’d refused to discuss the past, only stating she accepted the blame. Yet silence is what led to their loss.

  “Yeah, it’s nice though. Folks are all ready coming in to fish.” Neva’s mind was not on chit-chat even as she talked to Patsy a few moments longer.

  Patsy stood up. “Well let me get on home.”

  Mama Jo wore a slight frown. “Thought you was gonna stay and watch Jeopardy with me?”

  “No, I’ve got things to do.” Patsy gave her a pointed look. “So do you. Bye-bye.”

  Neva and Mama Jo watched her amble across the grass yard toward her cottage-style house down the road. For a time the only sound came from the slight creaking of the rocking chair.

  “How are you feeling?” Neva finally broke the silence.

  “So-so. But I ain’t complainin’.” Mama Jo did not look at her. “There’s some iced tea I made a little while ago.”

  “I’ll get some later.” Neva sat down on the edge of the porch.

  “Some tea cakes left, too.” Mama Jo jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “Make a nice snack.”

  “Not right now.” Neva could feel how much Mama Jo wanted her to go inside. “We live here together. So don’t you think we ought to talk about it?”

  “We did,” was Mama Jo’s terse reply.

  “Not since that night. You didn’t tell me a lot about Mama.” Neva stared at the ground. She kicked at the grass with the one toe of her shoe.

  “Nothin’ more to tell.” Mama clamped her jaws shut.

  “The Rose you told me about is nothing like the mother I’ve pictured all these years.” Neva turned to her. “I need to know who she really was.”

  “I told you she was wild, had to have her own way.”

  “You also said she was talented and smart. Did she sing in the church choir like you said?”

  Mama Jo turned a stony gaze on her. “So now you think I was lyin’ about everything? That what you sayin’?”

  “Of course not. I just need....” Neva tried to put it into words. Now she felt disconnected from her mother and it was a hollow, dark hole.

  “I’m goin’ inside.” Mama Jo grabbed the thick cane leaning against her chair.

  “No!” Neva said. Her voice cut through the warm, humid air. “After all these years of keeping the truth from me, you can at least answer my questions.”

  “Look here, I made a mistake with Rose.” Mama Jo’s dark eyes blazed. “But I did what I thought was best at the time. She was set on runnin’ with men twice her age, drinkin’ and hangin’ out in juke joints. Ain’t nothin’ more to say.”

  “What about the good things? There was more to her than that.” Neva shook her head. “Seems all you did was see the bad.”

  “You wasn’t even born when that girl started givin’ me trouble! So don’t try tellin’ me what I shoulda done!”

  “I don’t know you anymore than I knew Rose.” Neva stared at her.

  She wondered how deep this reached down. Would she have married Nathan if her mother had been here? Maybe her eagerness for what she thought was a protector came from losing her mother so young.

  Mama Jo slowly stood up. “I’ve said all I’m gonna say. Rose is gone. Rakin’ it up ain’t gonna change that.”

  “If this is an example of the way you acted, no wonder she left.” Neva stood, too.

  “You ain’t never too grown to respect me. I gave up a lot for Rose. She didn’t appreciate what she had.” Mama Jo wore a look of angry reproach. “I thought you had more sense.”

  Neva’s fragile hold on her emotions snapped. She felt betrayed. “Instead of letting her be who she was, all you did was insist on your way.”

  “I’m not goin’ to listen anymore.” Mama Jo seemed the strong matriarch who would not, could not bend.

  “You made her leave me behind,” Neva cried out. Her voice cracked
like a whip making Mama Jo wince.

  “Because of you, I didn’t have my mama.”

  There it was, the pain that cut the deepest for Neva. She’d feared that Rose had not wanted her. Yet this resentment had been boiling in her since learning the truth. Mama Jo drove her mother away!

  “So you feel better now? Yeah, Rose left because of me. Now I got to....” Her voice trailed off and slurred. Mama Jo slumped to one side and fell against the chair.

  Neva leaped across the few feet between them and caught her. The weight of her made Neva stagger back. “Oh God. Mama Jo? Mama Jo!”

  ***

  The next few days were a haze of sitting at the hospital, receiving visitors and checking with Lainie about the store. Mama Jo was still listed as critical at the West Feliciana Hospital. Neva had stayed by her grandmother’s side refusing all offers to be relieved. The first few days were the worst. Mama Jo was in the cardiac intensive care unit surrounded by high tech machines. During the brief periods she was allowed to in there each monitor filled Neva with dread. At least now she was in a room and Neva could sit with her all day. Was she watching life ebb from her grandmother? Would she have a chance to tell her she was sorry for the ugly words, her selfishness?

  “You’ve only been home once, darlin’. Go on now. I’ll call you if anything changes.” Uncle Roy put an arm around her shoulders.

  “No, I’ll stay.” Neva rubbed her eyes.

  “Neva, you’re goin’ home.” Uncle Roy’s deep voice was firm. He gave her a gentle shake. “Stayin’ here until you end up sick is not the way to help Mama.”

  “But–” Neva’s voice trembled.

  “I gotta go and see about my shop. When I get back, you’re goin’ home to rest.” Uncle Roy pecked her forehead with a quick kiss.

  The big man crossed over to Mama Jo. He was a gentle giant as he leaned down and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. Neva felt a tear slip down her face. If love could bring her grandmother health, she’d live forever. When Uncle Roy left, Neva followed him out.

  “And get something to eat,” he said with a paternal look.

  Neva nodded. She did not want to leave Mama Jo for long, so she went to the snack machine down the hall. On her way back pass the elevators, the doors opened. Chandler stepped out three feet in front of her.

  “Hi,” he said.

  “Hi.”

  “I wanted to come as soon as she could have visitors.” Chandler did not move closer.

  “Thanks. I’m sure she’d appreciate if...” Neva could not finish. “She’s only been awake a few times in the last twenty-four hours.”

  “How’s she doing?”

  Neva walked slowly back toward the room with Chandler beside her. “Better. The medication brought her blood pressure back up. It dropped so low that they put her in intensive care. The cardiologist checks on her every day.”

  “I won’t stay long,” Chandler said quietly when they entered the room. He went to stand beside the bed. He picked up Mama Jo’s hand and held it.

  “She said a few words this morning.” Neva joined him.

  They were close enough that she could feel the warmth of his skin. She could smell the delicate scent of his cologne, like spice mixed with pine needles. His presence brought comfort she needed badly. Neva despaired at how she had been so blinded by her own needs. She touched Mama Jo’s cheek.

  “I can’t do anything right these days,” she whispered.

  “You took excellent care of Mama Jo.” Chandler put his arm around her while still holding Mama Jo’s hand.

  “You don’t understand. We argued that day. I said awful things.” Neva looked at her grandmother. “I’m so sorry, Mama.”

  “Mama Jo loves you more than anything, as much as you love her. There is nothing you two could say to each other to change that.” Chandler pulled her against his body. “Nothing.”

  Neva leaned against him. For now she did not want to be strong. For half an hour they stood together. He seemed to know of her need not to be alone. Chandler lowered Mama Jo’s hand and wrapped both arms around her.

  The door opened and a short, petite nurse bustled in. She stopped short at the sight of the couple. “Excuse me. Time to check Mrs. Sterling’s vital signs.”

  With reluctance, Neva pulled away from Chandler’s embrace. They stepped out into the hall and walked to the small waiting room. Neither spoke. The television was on with the volume turned low. Neva went to the window that faced a wide meadow bordered by woods.

  “Chandler, about that argument we had–”

  “It was my fault. I should never have expected you to give up your dream,” Chandler said in a rush. It was as though the words had been damned up too long.

  “No, you were right. I was only thinking of myself.” Neva could not face him. “Can you forgive me?” Her heart pounded so hard she was sure he could hear it.

  “I’ve wanted to ask you the same thing.” Chandler reached for her. When she came into his arms, he kissed her deeply. “I wanted to be with you so much. But I was sure you did want to see me. Not after the way I behaved.”

  “I wanted to see you, to touch you....” Neva murmured. She kissed him and savored the sensation.

  “I don’t want to lose you again,” Chandler’s whispered.

  Neva gave herself up to the great joy of his love. “You never lost me, baby. And you never will.”

  Later after he was gone, Neva sat in the chair close to Mama Jo’s bed. Her happiness at being with Chandler again was blunted. If only she could do more than sit here helpless. Mama Jo stirred and her eyes fluttered open.

  “I’m here,” Neva said. She got up and went to her. “I’m here.”

  “Lordy mercy, feel like a truck hit me,” Mama Jo muttered. She moved her head a little.

  “I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault.” Neva choked back tears.

  “My mule-headedness is what put me here.” She lifted a limp hand and put it on Neva’s arm. When Neva gripped it, she managed to squeeze back briefly before her grip loosened. “Don’t stand around weepin’. I ain’t dead yet,” she quipped.

  “No, ma’am. I’m going to hold onto you for a long time to come,” Neva smiled through tears.

  “Besides, I got lots of stories about your mama left to tell.” Mama Jo smiled at her.

  Neva pressed the thin hand to her face. “I love you, Mama Jo.”

  ***

  Neva held up a copy of the old document. A neat, slanted handwriting from another century covered the page.

  “I didn’t understand why Marian Bellows was afraid. But this is the reason,” Neva said.

  Desiree paced like a cougar trapped in a cage. “That bastard will pay for this.”

  Neva stared at her. They sat in her living room. Mama Jo had been moved to the extended care unit where she was receiving therapy. She’d arranged to meet Desiree here. Neva wanted to deal with her before Mama Jo came home in a few days. The last thing she needed was more exposure to Desiree.

  “I didn’t say who gave it to me,” Neva replied. She was not the least impressed with Desiree’s show of temper.

  “Who else? He’s a thief! I’ll press charges!”

  “Why don’t we talk about how you got it,” Neva said in an icy tone.

  “Auntie Flo didn’t even miss it! Her memory is so shot, she–” Desiree gave up in the face of Neva’s expression. “How did you know?”

  “I didn’t until you just told me,” she snapped.

  “Dammit!” Desiree stamped one foot on the floor.

  “You never cease to amaze me. Taking advantage of Aunt Florrie.”

  Desiree rolled her eyes as though that was the last thing she cared about. After several moments of silence, she wore a look of cunning.

  “It doesn’t matter. Marian Bellows will deal with me. She’ll have to because I’m in control of Sterling Enterprises. Yes....” Desiree said. Her confidence came back as the wheels turned.

  “You’re sure of that?” Neva sat calmly gazi
ng at her.

  “Mama Jo put me in charge, remember?” Desiree stood erect with a triumphant air.

  “Guess again.” Neva stood to face her.

  “She’s is going to do whatever I ask,” Desiree said in a hard voice. “I’ve earned it.”

  “Oh you’re going to get what you deserve all right!” Neva let go of the reins on her anger.

  “You’re so used to getting whatever you want from Mama Jo, you can’t handle reality.” Desiree lifted her nose in the air.

  “I know all about how you blackmailed her! Mama Jo told me everything.” Neva stepped closer to her.

  Desiree’s mouth few open. “Everything?” she croaked.

  “I know how why my mother went to Houston and how she really died. Yes, everything.” Neva fought to control the white hot fury that threatened to overwhelm her.

  Desiree blinked rapidly. Now the wheels were turning in a very different direction. Her gaze slid sideways. She seemed to be searching for a way to escape.

  “Mama Jo misunderstood me, Neva.” Desiree swallowed hard. “S-she got it all confused. You know how old people are.”

  “I know how you are!” Neva jabbed a forefinger within a few inches of her nose. “From now on, stay out of the Fish Shack. Got it?”

  “Mama Jo wouldn’t disinherit me. She just can’t! Not after all I’ve done,” Desiree wrung her hands.

  “If it was up to me, you’d get what you’re worth, one penny.” Neva scowled at her. “The way you’ve used members of your own family, lied and connived is despicable.”

  “I’ll go talk to her, tell her I’m sorry.” Desiree was not longer the arrogant young woman. She rubbed her forehead with a shaky hand. “Yes, and daddy will explain it to her. She’ll listen to him.”

  “Forget it. I’ve all ready talked to Uncle James.” Neva cut off her last bit of hope. “He’s not going to back your schemes anymore.”

  “But I’m a Sterling, too,” Desiree whined. “She owes me.”

  “Mama Jo, Uncle Roy and Uncle James agree with me. You won’t run any part of the family business.”