by Alexia Stone
“How are my favorite women doing?” Dad came over to me and his eyes gleamed as he looked at my mom. His gaze travelled towards me. “Tasha, are you giving Becca a hard time?” Brayden leaned against the door, watching us.
Mom shook her shoulder length dirty blonde hair. “I am just having a chat with Rebecca,” she replied innocently, taking her hairpin from her purse. She eyed me. “I thought maybe you’d like to go for a jog. You need it.”
Brayden stepped into the room. “Leave her alone, Tasha. Recruit someone else for your workout routines,” dad told her playfully, while the subtext was clear: drop the weight topic. I gave mom a once-over and smiled at her. I went on a jog with her once and didn’t go again. I needed a stress reliever, not a stress inducer. Brayden signaled me to follow him.
Loudly enough for her to hear, I turned to my dad. “Good to see you mom and dad. I hope you brought some bagels or a croissant. I am definitely going to get my fill of starch today.” Brayden wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “And I am gonna join you.”
I sat by the small table, while Brayden opened the fridge. Mom and dad conversed in controlled and hushed tones, no doubt in my mind that it was about me. I was happy to see them. I did miss them. I just wanted more time before I saw them.
“Do you want anything?” he asked softly, still standing. “Listen, I know it’s too early for this shit.” He sighed heavily. “Mom constantly called me last night, wanting to talk to you because your phone went straight to voicemail. When she asked me how much I thought you weighed—“
“It’s fine, really. She can’t help herself.” I cleared my throat. “I appreciate it but you don’t have to get worked up on my behalf.”
Brayden’s eyebrows wrinkled. “It’s like, you’re calm.” He was obviously surprised.
“You know what? I am.”
“I have tea. You must be parched,” he offered.
“Would you happen to have ginger tea?”
“Ginger tea coming right up!” His deep baritone voice echoed.
CHAPTER 5
Mom and dad came into the kitchen. “Is there anything you need?” dad asked me. Brayden removed the ginger from his plastic bag and poured scolding hot water into the mug, his gaze focused on mom drolly. I reached for my tea.
I had a few interviews lined up, which eased a lot of my worries. One company had me on their payroll for on-call clerical work. The manager admitted, though, that work was very slow and that it would probably take months before I was called in for any work. I had some offers in Greensburg, PA, but I promised my family I’d return home after I graduated.
I inhaled the steam from my ginger tea. “I am alright. Thanks. Brayden’s been helpful.”
Dad took a seat directly across from me. I felt Brayden’s hands on my shoulders. “We can help you with miscellaneous costs. In a few weeks you’ll have access to your half of Larissa’s life insurance.” I rubbed my chin, feeling overwhelmed. I looked at my manicured nails to distract myself from the tears to about to escape eye ducts. “Larissa left her earnings and her life insurance to you and Brayden,” he explained.
Tears lightly streamed down my face. I dryly swallowed. I didn’t even think about Larissa’s life insurance. It only reinforced her absence for me. Even when she was feeling at her worst she thought about her family.
“Thanks for telling me.” I looked at dad.
He stood up and tucked his arm under my mom’s. “She did it in the event that...” His maroon eyes held sadness as he thought about his firstborn. “Larissa arranged all of this with our family lawyer. She explained it to us over dinner and we supported her decision.”
Larissa was his favorite without a question. She played baseball and basketball better than the two of us. It also helped that she looked so much like him, having his beautiful almond shaped maroon eyes and naturally arched eyes, not too thick or too thin. In addition, she was into the hobbies that my mom enjoyed. They enjoyed shopping together, going to the Opera, and exercising together.
Dad smiled at me and I couldn’t help but match his expression even though I was beyond exhausted. “Anyway, what do you have planned this weekend?” His smiled faded away and he gave me a sympathetic expression, one of pity. “Going to the stay home?” I shot my eyebrows at him in mock offense at his assumption, resulting in him opening his arms wide for a hug. I brushed him away with the whirl of my wrist; my parents snickered. They always encouraged me to date.
I shrugged. “Yeah, I’ll probably be here.”
Brayden placed his hand on my shoulder. “Becca won’t have time to get lonely.” I appreciated his concern. The idea of hanging out with Brayden was nice, but I felt like a burden. He was young, in the model scene, and he had a social life.
Brayden patted me on my back. “See, I have Bray.”
He stood up and gave Brayden a hard look, changing into a look of pride. “Good. Because we’ll be gone this weekend and first thing Monday we’ll be back.”
They often went away during the weekends. Mom walked in front of him. “I see you have tons of new clothes. Did you shop while you were in school?” she asked casually, but her face betrayed her interest. “Maybe, you’re spending some of your money. And I must say, it’s a wise choice because those pants…” She snapped her fingers as if she was confused.
“Lounge pants,” dad supplied.
“That’s right. Those lounge pants seem a little tight around your thighs.”
Brayden shook his head in mild disapproval. “Nope. They’re supposed to fit like that. Sarah’s lounge pants fit the same way,” he cheerfully commented and I inwardly smiled.
I rubbed my lips together, the flavor of ginger was absorbed in my lips. “I went shopping with Sarah yesterday.”
“Well,” she was silent for a moment. Dad looped his hands around mom’s waist, “that’s lovely.”
“It was,” I told her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look more wonderful.” Giving her a compliment garnered me one of her polite false smiles, the ones that don’t reach one’s eyes. Was I feeding into her pathology? No Doubt. At forty-eight years of age, she was absolutely stunning. Her alabaster skin was smooth, no pores or blemishes in sight. Just from looking at her skin, I knew that it was supple to the touch. Compliments were the primary form of acknowledgement that she accepted. I loved her, but I felt distanced with her; I wanted to like Natasha Salins, the person.
She placed on her Chanel sunglasses. “Thank you.” She brushed her French manicured nails lightly on her collarbone, appearing unsettled with her bare neck.
“Well.” She grimaced. “There’s a lot that I have to do today. We’ll see you later. Is next week a good time for you to have dinner at home?” She asked me.
“For now, that sounds good,”—I pulled my shirt tighter around my mid-section—“but if something else comes up, I might not be able to come.” Looking at the softness of my lower stomach and the width of my hips, mom cringed. Inwardly, I grinned with delight, anything to get a real expression out of her.
“Try to make it,” dad urged. “You’ve been…away for a while.”
***
“That was…special!”
“Yeah, it was,” I agreed.
Brayden prompted me to open the box he placed in front of me. I didn’t even notice when he did it because I ruminated about my parents.
“What’s this?”
He gave me a crooked grin, slowly swaying back and forth, patiently waiting for me to open. Then the door rang. Brayden got up and came back with Sarah. Leaning against the open entrance to the kitchen, Brayden glanced over her silhouette.
Sarah passed by him, lightly touching the front of his hand; he didn’t let go of the contact. Lifting his shoulders, we looked at each other.
“Hey guys,” she said.
“Hey Sarah.” I stood up and we hugged. “You tired me out yesterday.”
She curtsied. “You’re welcome.” I twisted my lips at her and she looked at me like I gave her a comp
liment.
“I’ve missed you guys. Even though I saw you yesterday, Becca!” Brayden gaped at her. I rolled my eyes.
“Not as much as I’ve missed you,” he said in a murmur. I couldn’t bear to look at them any longer. Finally, I opened my box. It was a sleek smartphone, with a sliding keyboard and a wild orange and red colored leopard case. I wanted to take the case off and throw it on the floor.
Sarah sat across from me. Her hair was blown out stick straight and in a high ponytail, complimenting her long neck. She had light foundation, blush, and clear lip-gloss on. She wore her Tory Burke flats, blouse, and black tights that accentuated her muscular and toned legs.
“Do you like it?” he asked.
“I like it a lot.” I pinched my lips, angling my head to Sarah, “Now I wonder who got me this case? And I wonder who selected my bed sheets.”
Sarah placed her hands on her hips. “I had to add some of my touch. This way, you won’t forget about me.” She rested her other arm on the table. “That remote you call you a phone needs to be retired.”
I brushed my hand in her direction at my old phone. “It’s been working fine all theses years.” My grin widened as I observed their interaction. “I could never forget you. You know, I am going to chug this case and those sheets.”
She clasped my new phone, turning it on. “I figured. But some color and pattern makes anything pop.” I sipped some of my tea. Sarah returned my new phone to me. “I added all of the numbers in your new phone.” I nodded at her. “I even added Jay’s.”
“In case of anything,” she explained. “I even have Jay’s number.”
“It’s fine.” I rapped my fingers against the table, looking at my phone’s screensaver...the painting of the little boy and the dog, the boy’s hand on the dog’s back. It was the best thing about this phone.
“All you have to do is call customer service to activate your new phone.”
“Okay.” I searched through my phone’s menu for split second, easily seeing that it was user friendly. “So, are you two back together or what?”
“We talked last night about it and we’re not back together,” Sarah replied, shifting her chair so she could look at Brayden.
“I introduced you two to each other,” I reminisced, adoring the way they obviously enjoyed being in each other’s presence. Whatever hurt existed between the pair of them wasn’t more palpable than they love they shared. My chest literally ached for them. If they couldn’t make it, what chance did I have to ever experience love? “A major reason why I didn’t ask about your relationship until now is because I respect your privacy.”
“And I am so grateful for that, Becca.” He took her hand, trailing his fingers around her small and narrow wrist. “I can say, for myself, at least, that it never bothered me—to talk to you about us.”
The black flecks in her deep green eyes gleamed, her skin warmed.
Sarah covered her hands over Brayden’s, squeezing them. “Becca, he’s always had my heart. He still does.” Briefly, Brayden lowered his eyes, his long thick eyelashes fluttered on his chiseled cheekbones.
“Umm…thanks. Sarah.” He lifted his eyes, and his cheeks blushed crimson.
I crossed my arms. “Do you really think that he cheated on you?”
Sarah released her hands from Brayden. “No, I know he didn’t” she answered. “About a month ago, I came to his dressing room. I caught a make up artist kissing his neck. He didn’t move her away.”
“I was shocked. No one’s touched me like that…but you. I turned around and saw it was Franky.”
“Hmmm. Anything else?” I probed.
“Once I saw that it was Franky, I moved away from her and Sarah was there. She dropped the doggy bag she got for me on the floor and she left.” He faced Sarah. “I ran after you and you already got in a cab. I got back inside, called you. Your phone went straight to voicemail.”
She slouched onto the seat. “His account pretty much covers it,” she said it with a hint of sadness in her voice. “I never accused you of cheating on me.” She turned to me. “This is the first time we’ve seen each other since then.”
“Hmm.” I swayed my head, mulling over the time frame of their separation and I almost got lost in thought.
Brayden looked at me seriously. He turned his whole body to her. “Anyway, I’ve gotta go to work. I’ll-um talk to you guys later.” Walking away from Sarah, we heard him he grabbed his jacket from the coat hanger in the hallway. Poking his head back in, he said. “Either of you need anything, don’t hesitate to call. And Sarah?” She peered at him. “Don’t feel like you can’t drop by ‘cause I am here.”
***
Sarah got up to open the windows above the sink. She turned the dial, putting some water in the mug and watered the three pots of plants on the windowsill.
Simultaneously:
“Have you had any breakfast?”
“So, both of you started to see other people already?”
Opening the freezer, she took out some frozen bagels, and some cream cheese, jelly, and butter from the fridge.
“I’ll assume that you haven’t. I saw Natasha and Henry on my way here. He politely greeted me, like always and we talked.” She averted her eyes from me as I stood up to prepare my own bagel. “Later on that night, I told Bray we need to see other people.” She placed my cinnamon raisin bagel in the toaster.
“Do you know if he’s seen other people?” She could sense some distress in my words.
“He’s been on a few dates. From what people have told me, he’s had a good time.”
I took my bagel from the toaster, spreading some cream cheese and jelly on it. “How do you know this anyway?”
“Dylan and Sascha saw him at the Billiards bar with some chick. She had nice perky breasts and a tear-drop ass, according to Dylan.” She poured herself some apple juice as her bagel shot up from the toaster. “Of course, I ran into Jay after yoga last week and he was more than thrilled to let me know that ‘My boy is finally getting it in and not moping no more.’” She laughed a little bitterly to herself.
“How do you really feel about this?” I looked outside, saw some sitters with children and people rushing into work. I forgot about the hectic foot and car traffic in New York. Even though we weren’t on the main streets everyone seemed to be in everyone else’s way.
“Yeah, I get jealous thinking about some chick putting her hands on him. It’s—tough for me to accept,” She gritted out, leaning her curvy hip on the counter. “But I had to force Dylan to introduce him to some girls.”
“But that—“
She cupped her light hands on my wrist. “Just because I hate it, doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t date. I mean, we’ve been a couple since we were fourteen…I know you don’t care to know, but we were…”
“I know that you were each other’s first. Obviously, you two had an intimate relationship. Of course, I don’t care to know the details. Do you know how wonderful it is that you loved the person you first had sex—No, let me correct myself, made love with? I lost my virginity and I’ll say it: it was just sex. I didn’t expect to love…the first guy, but I wanted to at least…like him,” I groused.
Sarah quirked a side of her face, looking at me compassionately. “I know that you did. It’s not too late for you have meaningful sex.” She fell silent for a moment. “Bray, is a real gentleman. I gotta tell you, there aren’t that many men out there like him.” She finished masticating half of her bagel. “See, Bray hasn’t had anyone else and I haven’t either. After I saw that twat all over him, on the ride back home, I started thinking.” Looking for my reaction, she stopped, and then she closed her eyes. “A part of him was afraid that he liked her touch. It scared the shit out of him.” Opening her eyes, she eyed me and gripped her billowy blouse. “I am not scared when I find another man attractive, or appealing. It happens. We deserve it to ourselves to date other people…have sex with other people. He won’t resent me for feeling tied down and I won’t re
sent him either. This is our chance.” Even though I could sense it coming, it was like a crushing blow to my stomach. I idolized their relationship for so long, knowing that they had their issues, like every couple, but denying that they’d ever be apart. They were that constant for me other than my parents.
I pressed my lips together, dropping my hands to my thighs.
“H-how has it been? Being with other men?”
“I’ve been with three dudes. They were…considerate…It was good, but it wasn’t great,” she paused, “because it wasn’t Bray. He’s…excellent in bed.” As a blush spread across her face, I must have winced. “I can’t imagine how you feel hearing this, but you asked and I am giving it to you straight.” Her voice sounded a little worried, defensive even.