A Highball and a Low Blow (Grumpy Chicken Irish Pub Series Book 3)

by Constance Barker

  Guardrail stretched over to one side. “Who knew the floor was that hard. But I couldn’t let him shoot you. You did nothing to deserve that.”

  Dog laughed. “That’s an oak plank floor. What did you expect, that it would be soft like a feather stuffed pillow?”

  I went over to the injured big man and kissed his cheek. “That was real brave. I can’t believe you did it, even though I saw it. But thanks.”

  Dixie asked him, “Do you need a doctor?”

  Guardrail nodded no. “I’ve had worse. I’ll be alright.”

  Dixie chuckled when she saw where the gun blast went. “Well, that’s number nine. You really should put up some sort of board to track the number of pickled egg jars that meet their maker in this pub.”

  Guardrail moaned. “I love the pickled eggs. Why does it always have to be the pickled egg jar?”

  We all laughed and waited for Sheriff Morrison and Aunt Mae, who came before Rotgut woke up. Sheriff Morrison laughed at the sight of Lily and Edith sitting on Rotgut. After sizing up the situation, he decided it was best to call the medics in and let them treat and revive the big moonshiner. I had to admit, the visual of two elderly sisters sitting on Rotgut was odd, even for The Grumpy Chicken. Piper must have agreed because she took her phone out and snapped a few pictures of the scene.

  Chapter Seventeen

  DAD NEATLY PILED THE new t-shirts next to the hats. Along with Star, he developed a line of merchandise featuring our namesake chicken spirit and it was selling well. Initially, Star sold the stuff out of her shop as I didn't see a way to sell clothes, hats, video disks, and glasses in the pub. We had no displays or shelves for something like that. But Dad fixed that, he used the money from the souvenir sales out of Star’s store and bought some nice wooden display racks. After a brief discussion, well Bones thought it was an argument, Dad and I agreed upon a spot near the bar, to the rear of the boys' stools at the end of the bar. It was an unused corner anyway, so it works and Dad is happy.

  Dixie and I rearranged tables and covered them with tablecloths. We rarely used linen on our old pub tables, but this was what Dad and Star wanted for tonight.

  Guardrail and Dog bickered over whether or not anything would happen tonight as they set up Star’s large round table. They earlier retrieved it from the new age store and placed it in the spot we sometimes used for Star’s band to play. But tonight, she would forgo the music to conduct a seance.

  The pub door flew open and Jacob entered with Nicole on his arm. I had to admit, they made a nice couple. He wore a navy blue suit with a silk tie and she wore a black dinner dress. And following close behind, Detective Eckart closed the door and stopped just a couple of steps inside. The detective tried to dress for the formal dinner, but the well worn hounds-tooth jacket paired with the loosely knotted tie revealed that he was a cop, through and through. They accepted our invitation, and while a tad early, I was ecstatic that they made the drive to be here.

  “Hello, I’m so happy you came. Welcome to the, the...I’m not sure what to call it but I think seance is the right word.” I would never be comfortable saying we want to talk with ghosts inside the pub.

  Jacob hung his head. “I’m a bit embarrassed to be here, but happy.”

  Nicole tapped his arm. “Don’t be silly. Belanger tricked you into making the money drop. You had no idea what was going on and were a victim in all this.”

  Jacob sighed. “I guess. But I feel so stupid that I got duped.”

  Eckart folded his arms and frowned. “You were a bit of a rube to get played. And you're lucky I was in a good mood and didn’t try to think of a way to charge you for being stupid.”

  Nicole smiled at the detective. “We appreciate your hard work. Jacob would be dead if you didn’t do your job so well.”

  Eckart smiled back at her, then turned his gaze to me. “So this is the famous haunted pub. I thought it would be bigger.”

  I chuckled. “That’s right. You never came here. The one time you were in town you only saw our small police station.”

  “That’s correct. And I think I was more comfortable there. Are you really going to do this?” He studied the place, top to bottom.

  “Yep. A deal is a deal. I told Star we would do a private session and see what happens as thanks for help in the case.”

  “I have to meet this Star. I’ve heard of psychics helping the police in cases before, but this is the first time it’s happened to one of my cases. I can’t tell you how much the boys are ribbing me over it.”

  Aunt Mae folded cloth napkins with the Sheriff and chimed in while she worked. “Ah, you seem like a tough guy. I think you can handle it.”

  “I was lucky that I tracked down Belanger through his cell phone use. Some old-fashioned police work. It was my only saving grace. If this see-through chicken of yours found Belanger, too, I would have had to retire. We also picked up Chris Brown and he sang like a canary. But I was happy to get Rotgut off the streets.”

  I laughed out loud. “An arrest of Rotgut is good anyway you get it, in my book. That is one man that belongs behind bars. If the grumpy chicken helped, so be it. But Belanger and Brown was all yours.”

  Piper was wiping silverware. “Detective Eckart. I so wanted to meet you. Ginger made it sound like you would be wearing a black helmet.”

  He scowled at her. “Well, I thought she would be wearing my cuffs the first time I met her. I guess that makes us even.”

  Dad went over to the detective and shook his hand. “I’m Tom. Ginger’s father. I want to thank you for helping us. But I wish you arrested this Rotgut character before he waved a gun at my daughter.”

  The detective pinched his eyebrows. “To be honest, so do I. I hate when good people are put in harms way. But from what I hear, the bad guy didn’t stand a chance.”

  Dad laughed. “Not in here. This is our turf and we have our ways.”

  Dixie hollered from the bar. “Even if we told you, you wouldn’t believe the way things happen in here. Our stinking feathered phantom defies explanation.”

  Lily and Edith were sipping tea at their table. We set their table up first as they insisted on serving Earl Grey tea as the guests arrived since Lily thought it was classy. Lily turned to the detective. “It was my sister that brought that Rotbutt guy down. Used a bottle of gin to knock him out. Then me and Edith sat on him to keep him down while we waited for the cops.”

  Digger sat at the bar, on his stool, drinking a cold beer. He corrected, “Lily, you can’t hold down an unconscious man. There was no need, he was knocked out cold. Even after the medics arrived, it took them a while to revive him.”

  Lily huffed. “Oh, phooey, you’re just jealous it was us and not you.”

  The banter continued and we finished our preparations. Once everything was ready, we sat Jacob and Nicole, along with Detective Eckart, Aunt Mae, and Sheriff Morrison, at a special table in front of the crowd as our honored guests. The rest of the gang took seats and Bones brought out the food. We pulled out all the stops. The meal started with a nice shrimp cocktail and salad followed by Steamship round, baked cod, roasted potatoes, grilled veggies, and rice pilaf. I made it a point to make this meal and without using the grill. The flat-top grill cooked most of the food served to our customers and that works well for our business. But for this meal I wanted it to be more homey and feel formal. Eliminating the grill was symbolic that this was not pub fare. Bones agreed and jumped at the challenge and he hit a home run. The food was excellent.

  Dessert was strawberry shortcake because Edith and Lily insisted on it. Just like the odd Earl Grey tea drinking show, they thought formal meals ended with strawberry shortcake. It was not worth upsetting them, so I gave in even though strawberries were out of season.

  After we we finished eating, coffee was served and Ida, with Piper’s help, set up a camera to record the main event. Star took her position at the head of the large round table covered with black cloth and in the middle sat her crystal ball. “Ginger, Dixie, coul
d you please join me. I would like to start with an exercise to warm things up. A kind of demonstration. The two of you have strong auras that are apt to attract a spirit.” Star slid her glass globe closer so it was directly in front of her while we took seats on either side of her. “Ladies, if you could take my hands. I will ask some simple questions and you need to clear your minds. Think of only the grumpy chicken.”

  Star closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. Then she stared into the globe in front of her. “Are there any benevolent spirits here that would like to communicate?” The crystal ball glowed in two pulses. Star tilted her head. “That’s odd. Once means yes, twice means no. I can feel them. Let’s try this.” She paused a moment, then again closed her eyes and tilted her head. “Please be so kind and let us know, are any spirits present?” The globe flashed once, signaling yes.

  Dixie pulled her hand back. “No way! I’m not doing this anymore. It’s too freaky.”

  Star smiled at her. “It’s alright. The spirits are comfortable with you. They are present but not talkative right now. We have to be patient. Go on, take my hand.” After Dixie complied, Star continued, “Thank you for responding. Could you tell me if you are the chicken spirit that lives in this pub?” The glass ball flashed twice – no. Then Star asked, “Is the chicken spirit here with us?” One flash of light indicated yes.

  I pulled my hands back, completely off the table. “What does that mean?

  Star wrinkled her forehead. “I think the chicken spirit is here, but doesn’t want to talk to a crowd.”

  Dixie shot back. “Then who’s answering our questions?”

  Star smiled at Dixie. “Good question, lets see if we can find out. Close your eyes and concentrate real hard, on the chicken” We complied and she continued, “Are you benevolent?” The ball flashed once and Star replied to the crystal object. “Thank you. We’re always happy to speak with friends.” Star looked to the group. “Maybe it’s time to conduct the actual seance. Let’s see if we can communicate with this friendly spirit and learn more.”

  Star asked Piper, Guardrail, Digger, Dad, Edith, Bones and Nicole to join us. They moved to the big round table, which made it crowded. I asked, “Why did you pick people like that?”

  Star grinned. “Same as the demonstration. Some people have better auras. And the table is too small to have everyone sit in on the seance.”

  Dad grumbled. “I didn’t even know I had an aura.”

  Star ignored him and produced some candles, setting them on the table, then lighting the wicks. “Can we get a basket of bread for this table?”

  “Bread, what’s that for?” Bones responded reflexively when he heard anything sounded like an order for food.

  “To attract the spirits.” Star moved with an odd grace as she rearranged the candles and crystal ball, then took the bread from Dog Breath. Once she was satisfied with the placement of items on the surface, she asked, “Can someone please turn off the lights. And if you could all hold hands.”

  Star closed her eyes and tilted her head back. Dog turned the lights off and we waited in candlelight, for what felt like an hour. But after a while, Star sat up straight and started asking questions. After a number of queries, not much happened till Star asked about the grumpy chicken. With that question, three things occurred. First, unassisted the lights turned on. Second, the globe flashed far more than two times. And third, I heard glass clinking, like it was knocked into by a hard object. I looked to bar, the source of the sound, and saw the new pickled egg jar wobble, just a little.

  Dixie freaked and jumped back from the table. That ended the séance. I followed suit and left to examine the pickled egg jar. I got up close to it and scrutinized the area. Everything seemed normal and I couldn't explain what caused it to wobble.

  Then I saw it, a reflection. It was a transparent chicken hovering over the remains of the séance. Just like Star described, the grumper had white feathers with black and red accents. But I also saw something new. It was a shackle around its left leg. I could see why it limped. It was because of the constraint. I froze and felt all the air leave my body and the reflected image faded away.

  I almost missed the commotion as everyone tried to help Star. She crumbled into her chair and blacked out while I was at the bar examining the pickled eggs jar. It was for only a brief moment and I rushed over to help. Star opened her eyes and looked deep into my soul. She said, “It wants to tell you something. But you, and you alone.”

  Detective Eckart popped like a Jack-in-the-box from his seat next to Jacob and bellowed. “That’s it. Parlor games are over. It’s time for us to be heading back to Savannah anyway. I hope you all had fun.”

  Dixie spoke over the detective. “I’m so done with this freaking chicken. It’s time for a drink.”

  Dog Breath nodded. “I think it’s time to break out the peach pie. We all could use a good jolt.”

  Guardrail chuckled. “I have no idea what is going on here. But good idea, partner, I could use a stiff one.”

  Piper and Ida sprinted to the cameras to see if they recorded everything. I glanced at them and Ida gave me the thumbs up to indicate it was all good. They successfully captured the event.

  I spun to speak to Eckart. “So, you got a dose of The Grumpy Chicken. What do you think?”

  “I think you’re all off your rocker!”

  I laughed. “Exactly the answer I expected.”

  He shook my hand and smiled. “I hope to see you again. But do me a favor, don’t invite me to anymore of your dinners.”

  “I hope to see you again, too, Mr. Vader.” He turned and looked for Nicole and Jacob, his ride home.

  I went over to Dad who was smiling, too much. “What are you so giddy about.”

  Dad put his arm around me. “Well, good food and drink always puts me in a fine mood. And I can see you are starting to understand our grumper.”

  Dixie tried to cut in. “Is it alright to break out the secret stash?”

  Dad huffed. “How long you have you worked here. Take care of it. Can’t you see I’m having a moment with my daughter?”

  Dixie threw her hands in the air and moaned. “Well, Tom is back to normal after all this.”

  I laughed. After the events of the last year, I was no longer sure what normal meant. And that certainly included tonight’s spectacle. But I still had my friends and family and that was all the normal anyone needed. Even if it did mean dealing with a ghost chicken. I could live with that.

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  Catalog of Books

  The Chronicles of Agnes Astor Smith

  The Peculiar Case of Agnes Astor Smith

  The Peculiar Case of the Red Tide

  The Grumpy Chicken Irish Pub Series

  A Frosty Mug of Murder

  Treachery on Tap

  Old School Diner Cozy Mysteries

  Murder at Stake

  Murder Well Done

  A Side Order of Deception

  Murder, Basted and Barbecued

  THE CURIOSITY SHOP Cozy Mysteries

  The Curious Case of the Cursed Spectacles

  The Curious Case of the Cursed Dice

  The Curious Case of the Cursed Dagger

  The Curious Case of the Cursed Looking Glass

  THE WE’RE NOT DEAD Yet Club

  Fetch a Pail of Murder

  Wedding Bells and Death Knells

  Murder or Bust

  Pinched, Pilfered and a Pitchfork

  A Hot Spot of Murder />
  WITCHY WOMEN OF COVEN Grove Series

  THE WITCHING ON THE Wall

  A Witching Well of Magic

  Witching the Night Away

  Witching There’s Another Way

  Witching Your Life Away

  Witching You Wouldn’t Go

  Witching for a Miracle

  TEASEN & PLEASEN HAIR Salon Series

  A Hair Raising Blowout

  Wash, Rinse, Die

  Holiday Hooligans

  Color Me Dead

  False Nails & Tall Tales

  CAESAR’S CREEK SERIES

  A FROZEN SCOOP OF MURDER (Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book One)

  Death by Chocolate Sundae (Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Two)

  Soft Serve Secrets (Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Three)

  Ice Cream You Scream (Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Four)

  Double Dip Dilemma (Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Five)

  Melted Memories (Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Six)

  Triple Dip Debacle(Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Seven)

  Whipped Wedding Woes(Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Eight)

  A Sprinkle of Tropical Trouble(Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Nine)

  A Drizzle of Deception(Caesars Creek Mystery Series Book Ten)

  SWEET HOME MYSTERY Series

  Creamed at the Coffee Cabana (Sweet Home Mystery Series Book One)

  A Caffeinated Crunch (Sweet Home Mystery Series Book Two)

  A Frothy Fiasco (Sweet Home Mystery Series Book Three)

  Punked by the Pumpkin(Sweet Home Mystery Series Book Four)

  Peppermint Pandemonium(Sweet Home Mystery Series Book Five)

  Expresso Messo(Sweet Home Mystery Series Book Six)

  A Cuppa Cruise Conundrum(Sweet Home Mystery Series Book Seven)